Disclaimer: This fiction is based the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty, I do not own the original Sleeping Beauty story. No profit, with the exception of my own personal satisfaction, is being made from this fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
That being said, Have Fun!
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Once upon a time there lived a mafia overlord and his wife. They ruled over a secluded country tucked into the underside of the world, which was a lucky chance as it had the highest rates of gun running, money laundering and organised crime in the world.
One day, to the dismay of the mafia queen, and the extreme incredulity of the mafia king, the mafia queen found out she was pregnant. She gave birth to a daughter named Ursula. To celebrate the birth of their new daughter, the mafia overlords decided to host a party in their mansion and invite all of their criminal friends.
The party was going well, with Ursula's fairy godmothers offering gifts of stealth, mendaciousness, and tenaciousness, and all sorts of things that would be useful in Ursula's future life of crime. Before the last fairy godmother could present her gift to the baby, however, the lights dimmed, there was a flash of lightning, a crash of thunder and eerie music began playing in the background. The doors slammed open to reveal an austere figure in the doorway. It was a man. He had short hair, the colour of mocha, and snapping, derisive brown eyes. He was wearing a navy blue suit and a novelty tie covered with a colourful squirrel pattern. His imitation Gucci loafers squeaked on the polished wooden floors as he approached the cradle with the baby lying in it.
Then he said clearly, so that everyone at the party could hear, "I have come to punish evil doers." Several hundred felons in the party tugged nervously at their collars. The mafia king peered at the strange man, "Uh…I'm afraid you're going to have to be a bit more specific."
Then the mafia queen said, "Who are you, anyway? And how did you get past security?" The man, with a neat flick of the wrist, revealed a golden police badge, "Detective Sampson at your service ma'am."
There was an awkward silence as the room was filled once again, with people with suddenly itchy collars.
"And who," the king said, "Is this villain you speak of?"
Detective Sampson pointed sharply at the cradle and whipped out his handcuffs, saying, "Mafia princess Ursula, you are arrested in advance for future crimes you will commit."
The mafia queen cried in outrage, "That's absurd! You can't do that!"
Detective Sampson was suddenly uncomfortable. This wasn't part of his plan. Events had taken a rather unpleasant turn and the room was now filled with large men, cracking their knuckles and glaring menacingly at him.
"Alrighty then, well I'm not letting you turn her into some sort of a mercenary kleptomaniac, sooo…" He pulled out his notebook, "Plan B. Let's see….OK. Got it. Ahem. When you are sixteen," he said, addressing the sleeping baby, but speaking loud enough so that everyone at the party could hear, "You will prick your finger on a rusty nail…and die!" Detective Sampson swept out.
The mafia king peered at his wife and said, "Well, it's not so bad."
The mafia queen looked back at him and replied, "Yes, it could have been worse." They smiled.
The door opened again and Detective Sampson stuck his head through the gap. "Oh!" he exclaimed, "I forgot to tell you, not only will she prick her finger and die, but she will have no desire to take part in major bank robberies (the mafia queen began to hyperventilate at this point) and she will refuse to wear petticoats and will wear jeans instead."
With this Detective Sampson left. The mafia queen was absolutely horrified at this news, she was pale and clammy, "Husband." She moaned, "Husband, what are these jeans he speaks of?"
The mafia king was uneasy, but he answered reluctantly, "Err… well, they're, um, well. Pants."
"Pants?!" the mafia queen managed to squeak before she fainted dead away.
Luckily, there was still one more fairy godmother to present her gift to the mafia princess . Her name was Great Aunt Magma. She didn't really feel like undoing the spell, although she was perfectly capable of it, so she decided to change it a little. "She shall not die, but sleep, for one hundred years, when poisoned by the nail, until awoken by the kiss of a handsome prince."