It is a nice warm sunday afternoon at the beachfront of Southtown. The sun is shining, the surfing is good, the seagulls are divebombing people with food, the young children are being swept out to sea by rip currents, life at the beach is good until......
*A group of cars pull up to a beachfront house*
Joe: *getting out of a car* Finally, we are here!
Dan: *climbing out of the driver's seat* I told you I know where we are going!
Ruby: *getting out from the back* How did you manage to get us lost on the way to the beach, when me and you live on the ocean?
Dan: Stop complaining, we're here arent we?
*Ken and Eliza step out of the sports car pulled up next to Dan, as Dan and Joe begin to unpack the car*
Ken: Wow, what a crappy house
*the house is painted puke green, with storm shutters hanging off, glowing eyes can be seen through holes in the porch, and a skeleton is sitting on the porch swing*
Eliza: *walking to the trunk* If your gonna complain about the house, why dont you rent a better one, Mr Millionare *opens trunk*
Ken: *helping Mel get out of the car* Hey, I might be a millionare, but I still cant afford beachfront real estate baby
Ryu: *climbing out of trunk* Least you can do is buy a bigger car
Terry: Hey you! *Terry waves over to the group as Blue Mary, Mai, Andy, and Rock get out of his SUV* This place rocks!
Andy: Yes, it sure was nice of Kyo and his Dad to let us use it
Mary: Oh god, dont remind us of it
Mai: Why not?
Ruby: Kyo's annoying to be around, you ever hung out with him?
Mai: No, he just seemed to always enjoy the company of single men
Ruby: Well, hes pretty annoying, first of he is a re-joker
Mai: A re-joker?
Terry: Yeah, you know when someone makes a little joke. And I mean a little one. Like a pun, or a smart aleck quip.
Andy: Yeah, something like "Why is Mai gonna be in SNK vs Capcom CHAOS and someone says "I can think of two reasons"
Terry: Exactly Andy, someone says that, and really doesnt expect an uproarious laughter, they get a "Heh" at most, its not really that funny
Andy: Kinda like Oni's stories
Mai: Ok, I follow you so far
Terry: Well, when someone does a little joke around Kyo, he makes it a point to make it again
Andy: And again and again
Terry: The previous example, Kyo would say something like "Yeah, two reasons, HER BOOBIES! HAHAHAHAHAH!"
Mai: Ok, thats not really funny
Terry: Thus one of the many reasons why he is annoying
Andy: There he is now with his old man
*Kyo and Saishu pull up, with Benimaru and that big guy on their team in the back*
Kyo: Hi everyone! Welcome to the beach house!
*Leona, Clark, Whip, and Ralf get out of a hummer*
Ralf: I call the top bunk!
*A new Volstwagon beetle pulls up, and Athena, Bao, Sensou, and Ghin get out*
Sensou: Finally, at the romantic beach side, I shall where down Athena and get laid!
Bai: Look at me Im annoying and you wish I wasnt here dont you!
*Heavy D! rolls up on his bike*
D!: Yo yo yo!
*Bison lands a plane and all the Killer Bees get out*
Bison: Finally! A vacation!
Dan: SSSSSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *stops and looks at Dan*
Dan: There are WAY to many character in this fic! Im the star and I'd only said two lines and an emote this whole time! If one more person gets here, Im gonna snap!
*Yamazaki walks up and walks into the house*
Dan: OK, thats it, we're gonna have to do some cutting!
Athena: But what about the fans? If we are all here, everyone will like your story because everyones fav character will be in it!
Dan: Oh really? Well how about this, Psycho Soldier team, Get out!
Sensou: But what about the frigid virgin girlfriend jokes?
Dan: Benimaru and Kyo can make those jokes, your gone
Gin: But what about my booze *hold up a 6 pack*
Dan: You brought a 6 pack? You'd chug that just to say you contributed, and then drink OURS, we have plenty for us, thank you, and last I checked, the legal drinking age wasnt 80, so we can buy more. Get out.
Psycho team: Awww, *leaves*
Dan: Ok, me, Ruby, and Joe are the central cast members, so we stay. Andy, Mai, Terry, and Blue Mary will be needed for crucial sex humor later on, so they stay. Rock however, is dead weight. Get out.
Rock: But what about dramatic Irony about your my father?
Dan: Your gone, come back for a cameo or two at the beach
Rock: Awwww
Dan: Yamazaki is an almost sidekick he stays
Yamazaki: *laughs maniacly*
Dan: Bison, what are you doing here?
Bison: Um, ready for some fun in the sun?
Dan: Your a villian and this is suppose to be an easy going fic, so get out, but drop of your bathing suit clad bunnies at the beach for eyecandy later
Bison: Dangit
Leona: Ha ha ha! Get lost Bison! Only real characters stay!
Dan: Speaking of staying, your not Ikari warriors
Ralf: Wha? But what about the scene where me and Clark play Desert Storm on the beach and find Sudam Hussain and beat him up
Dan: Sorry, the window for politcal humor has long been closed, your outta here.
Ikari Warriors: You will pay for this!
Dan: Ken, your family stays, Ryu doesnt. Make jokes of how he is boring is getting boring.
Ryu: I would rather train anyway!
Kyo: I bet you would, because you ALWAYS train!
Dan: Kyo, shut up, the only reason you and your dad is staying is because its there house. Benimaru stays because of the homosexual jokes...
Benimaru: Homosexual? I dont get it
Dan: But that big guy has got to go
Kyo: What big guy?
Dan: That guy, the writer doesnt even know his name
Kyo: You mean Daimon
Dan: Whatever, get lost
Daimon: THe writer knows nothing about me, he cannot formulate a response, THE END *vanishes*
Dan: Well, that takes care of that, now, lets move in everyone
*The remaining people grabs there bags and begin to move in*
Dan: Ah, now that that was taken care of, we can look forward to a nice relaxing vacation!
Joe: Yup, going to the beach everyday
Terry: Going fishing!
Mai: Going to the boardwalk!
Dan: And everynight, have sex with your girl, knowing that all your friends are doing the exact same thing
*Ken puts arm around Eliza, Terry looks at Mary, Ruby grabs Dan's ass, Mai strips naked and runs circles around Andy*
ALL: DAMN RIGHT!
Saishu: WRONG!
Dan: What!?
Saishu: Here are the sleeping arangments! *hands Dan a peice of paper* Split into pairs by room, women on the top floor, men on the bottom! No hanky panky in my house!
Dan: Nnnnnooooo!
Saishu: Thats right! *walks off*
Joe: AH ha ha ha! Looks like Im the only one getting laid here!
Terry: But you dont have a girlfriend!
Joe: Exactly, Im gonna meet her at the beach and have some fun, being single is great!
Terry: This sucks, *looking at the paper showing the room assignments* all the guys in the same room
Benimaru: I dont mind!
Terry: ...yeah I bet you dont
Kyo: HA HA HA HA Yeah I bet he doesnt Terry! You know that he is gay!
Terry: Shut up Kyo
Kyo: HA HA HA Good one!
*Inside the house*
Dan: Wow, outside it looks like a dump, but insides its pretty cool!
Joe: Surround sound, HI-def TV, DVD player, *walks into kitchen*
Dan: Nice kitchen too, *opens Fridge*
Joe: Hmmm, *cuts on water spicket* What? *sniffs water, then sticks finger in it and tastes it* Thats Tequila!
Dan: *looking into bedroom* Wow, waterbeds, silk sheets, this place is cool, I wonder which one is my room...
Terry: *walking in with Map* You two arnt on the list
Dan: What?
Joe: Your kidding!
Saishu: Oh, Im sorry, forgot to tell you, you two are outside, over there *points out window to a rinkety small shack*
Joe: The OUTHOUSE?
Saishu: It was an outhouse, but we converted it into a bedroom
Dan: Gross!
*Inside the outhouse/bedroom*
Joe: Jeezus!
*The floor is dirt, with a few 2x4s strawn about on the ground, the walls are wood with gaps big enough to see out of, a small bed in in the corner, and a toilet is in the other corner with a small, waist high curtain around it*
Dan: What the hell is this old man?
Saishu: What? Its a bedroom
*A rat crawls over Joe's foot*
Joe: Eeek!
Dan: A bedroom? You call that a bed? Its a pillow with stilts!
Saishu: What you talking about! Its a twin!
*while Dan and Saishu argue, a giant rat appears and bites Joe's leg, and begins to drag him off*
Dan: Come on man! Everyone would fit in the house if you allow the couples to bunk up!
Joe: Yikes!
Saishu: No unions of sin in my house! Im an ancient monk you know, or something like that. My family is holy, and the house is holy, and we must keep it that way!
Joe: Help!
Dan: Oh come on, your just this cranky because you dont have a Mrs. Kusanagi to kiss your Mr Winky in the morning
Saishu: Im a monk, Im celibate, and under my house, your celibate too!
Joe: Ahhh *rat shakes Joe from side to side*
Saishu: You and your friend here are notorious for your sexual antics! Therefore I put you out here, far far away from the ladies! Maybe that will teach you to keep it in your pants for a few days!
Joe: Argh, thats gonna need a technishot......
Dan: Oh, you havnt heard the last of this by a long shot! I will have sex in your house! I SWEAR IT!!!
Saishu: Sex in the holy house? NEVER!
Joe: It doesnt hurt anymore.....
Dan: Huh? JOE!!!
*Inside the house, people are unpacking*
Yamazaki: *walking into living room with box marked "Xbox! T0tally l33t Rad 2 d maxors!"*
Yama: Now, to hook up my oh so totally cool and mature Xbox up to the TV... Huh?
Mel: *Ken's child is playing his Gamecube on the TV*
Yama: What the? Kid, what are you doing? Unhook this childish stupid Gamecube from the TV so I can play Halo!
MeL: Hmm? Oh hi! Want to play Smash Brothers? I unlocked a secret character the other day, but I dont know how to do them all, but we can play anyway!
Yama: Oh hell no! Im not playing that childish game! Im a grown man, Xbox is my system you suck!
Mel: Oh come on please! We can take turns with our systems, you play a game of Smash Brothers and then we can play Halo OK?
Yama: Grr, I guess I have to suffer through it... damn kid.... *starts picking character: Hey! I want to be Ron Jeremy!
*Outside, the sun is setting on the Beach, for the first night of the vacation*
Dan: *walking towards the house with Joe* Damn, how in the heck am I gonna get laid while on vacation?
Joe: *limping* Dangit, my foots turning green now...
Dan: This is the perfect oportunity for banging! Nice romantic air, the beach, the sun, the sand, the sound of the ocean, the moonlight reflecting of the beach.....
Joe: Oh, gimmie a break, save that lame stuff for your ball and chain
Dan: Oh, come on Joe, Im serious, this is like, THE romantic location, we are gonna be the ONLY people at the beach not makin babies!
Joe: Speak for yourself, Im looking to head to the bars and finding myself a moderately cute and moderatly drunk female with commitment problems that Ill never see again
Dan: Moderately cute? Lowering your standards?
Joe: No, mearly adapting to my urgancy. I usually prefer women that are Very Drunk and Very Beautiful
Dan: Then how come I always see you leaving the bars with a Completely Sober woman thats Not drunk at all?
Joe: Because, Dan, sometimes I am the Very Beautiful person that gets Very Drunk....
*the two walk into the house, and Join Terry and Andy having drinks on the dinner table*
Andy: Im telling you Terry, I really dont care if Im in it or not, as long as the fans cant get enough of Mai Bursting Gown, then MY Wallet will never burst. Ill never have to work again!
Joe: Suo guys, what you all talkin about?
Terry: The roster for the next SNK vs Capcom game is out, have a look see *passes Joe a newspaper*
Joe: *reads* SNK vs Capcom CHAOS, the next action packed installment of the fighting crossover the fans cant get enough of, yadda yadda yadda, Character Rostor Including... Kyo, Iori, Mai, Earthquake, Terry, Ryo, Shiki, Choi, Mr Karate, Kasumi, Kim, Genjiryo, Ryu, Ken, Chun Li, Hugo, Guile, Tabasa, Gouki, Dhalsim, Balrog, Bison, Sagat, and Vega.
Dan: *sits down quietly and has a drink* ....
Joe: WHAT THE? Me and you arnt in it Dan! Whats up with that? They picked DHALSIM and EARTHQUAKE over US? Why would they do something stupid like that?
Dan: Its Affirmiative action man, they needed an indian and a superhumanly fat man...
*Somewhere in a 7-11 in India*
Dhalsim: *opens a letter*
Dhal: Hereby invited to the Chaos tourneyment? *faints*
*back at the beach*
Terry: Relax Joe, there are still secret characters to be had
Joe: Oh yeah right Terry, you forgot we are dealing with SNK here. There version of secret characters are 6 or 7 versions of Kyo. 96 Kyo, 97 Kyo, Kyo with a jacket, Kyo with a tank top, Kyo with Boxer shorts, Kyo with briefs, Kyo 1, Kyo 2, Kyo 3. And lets not forget Evil Ryu, Nice Ryu, Happy Ryu, Ryu on a Bad Day, Como Estas Muy Bein Ryu, Not So Fresh Ryu, Ultra Dry Ryu, and, Regular Akuma, True Akuma, Akuma with sprinkles, Ryu merged with Akuma with sprinkles, Cyber Akuma, l33t Akuma, Not-so-Fresh Ryu merged with Akuma with wings ph balanced for our cheesieness! I tell you, its not about the character diversity anymore, its about the masses. They make video games and fill it with versions of everyones favorite character, or at least what character the company thinks are everyones favorites. The 2d fighting genre is all based upon name recognition, any game made that doesnt have your average 3-letter named hero headlineing it, fails, no matter how great. Look at Rival Schools, Darkstalkers, Power Stone, the companies are so afaid that their next big budget fighting game will fail they think they have to fill the game up with uber-powerful characters to draw in the masses of people that think the number of fireballs a character can have onscreen is an attesment to how badass they are. Its not about haveing colorful, new, and innovative characters, anymore, its all about how many Shoto knock-offs they can squeeze into the game, that way the masses might TRY to play a new character, as long as they are exactly like the old characters, they just throw the fireball with one hand, or do their anti air move with a Foot instead of a fist. Sell outs, thats all these people are, sellouts, and anyone in this game is an attestment to selling out!
Dan: Damn right! Who needs to be in SNK vs Chaos!
Joe: Exactly!
Terry: Not even as a secret character?
Joe: Hell no! You guys are all sell outs, me and Dan, we would never sell out! We are all about the fans, right Dan?
Dan: Uh, well wait a sec....
Joe: All them sell outs dont know anything about real INTEGRITY, do they Dan?
Dan: Uh, nope
Joe: *reading more* Hmmm, screen shots huh? *turns page*
Dan: Screenshots? *looks to Terry*
Terry: *grins and nods* Yup, screenshots of all the sell outs
Joe: Look at'em all, selling out, there is Guile, sold out, Bison, Geese, Sold out, Earthquake fighting *squints eyes* some guy in Pink
Dan: Oh my God look over there Joe!
Joe: He looks kinda lik Ryo in pink....
Dan: Quick Joe, LOOK!
kyo: *walks in*
Joe: What the... is that...
Dan: LOOK OVER THERE IS KYO WE SURE DO HATE HIM RIGHT?
Joe: Huh? Oh yeah, we sure do! Grrrr!
Dan: *grabs newspaper and tears out page with the pictures on it*
Kyo: *sighs* *walks out*
Dan: So, Joe, what were you saying?
Joe: Hmmm? Oh, I was just reading this here, *reads* Strange, seems I lost my place.
Dan: Well, that sucks, *yawn* Oh well, Im tired, Im gonna go to bed! We got a big day of fun in the sun tomorrow! *gets up and starts going up stairs* Do be do be doooooo....
*suddenly there is a big explosion in front of him*
Explosion: WHERE YOU GOING
Dan: Achh! Saishu!
Saishu: You think it would be that easily! Ive been keeping women away from men for YEARS, you will have to do better than that!
*outside*
Dan: *comes flying out of the back door, and lands in front of the outhouse/bedroom*
Dan: Ouchie....
*a toilet flushes from inside the outhouse and a homelessman walks out*
Andore: har har har.....
Dan: *twitches*
Joe: *walks out of the house with newspaper under shoulder* Well well well, do you really think it was gonna go down like that?
Dan: I only let him do that to me because he an old man....
Joe: Sure *walks into the outhouse/bedroom*
Dan: It didnt even hurt....
Joe: *from inside* Yeah, and I bet the fact you where screaming like a girl was to give his ego a boost.... damn man, it stinks in here, what did you do?
And so, our heroes vacation has begun. Not the smoothest of beginings, but its begun none the less. So many unanswered questions. Will Dan and the boys have sex with their wives/girlfriends? Will the vacation get better? Who will try to kill Kyo first? Who will throw up first on the sure to be had drinking binges? What other horrors lay in the Outhouse of Bedroom Doom? Will Joe get a disease from that monster? How many teaser questions can I make up? Will anyone read this story after about a year of nothing coming out? Should I stick to writing humours fictational biographies about myself killing ninjas? Am I talking to myself? Answers, next time.
*A group of cars pull up to a beachfront house*
Joe: *getting out of a car* Finally, we are here!
Dan: *climbing out of the driver's seat* I told you I know where we are going!
Ruby: *getting out from the back* How did you manage to get us lost on the way to the beach, when me and you live on the ocean?
Dan: Stop complaining, we're here arent we?
*Ken and Eliza step out of the sports car pulled up next to Dan, as Dan and Joe begin to unpack the car*
Ken: Wow, what a crappy house
*the house is painted puke green, with storm shutters hanging off, glowing eyes can be seen through holes in the porch, and a skeleton is sitting on the porch swing*
Eliza: *walking to the trunk* If your gonna complain about the house, why dont you rent a better one, Mr Millionare *opens trunk*
Ken: *helping Mel get out of the car* Hey, I might be a millionare, but I still cant afford beachfront real estate baby
Ryu: *climbing out of trunk* Least you can do is buy a bigger car
Terry: Hey you! *Terry waves over to the group as Blue Mary, Mai, Andy, and Rock get out of his SUV* This place rocks!
Andy: Yes, it sure was nice of Kyo and his Dad to let us use it
Mary: Oh god, dont remind us of it
Mai: Why not?
Ruby: Kyo's annoying to be around, you ever hung out with him?
Mai: No, he just seemed to always enjoy the company of single men
Ruby: Well, hes pretty annoying, first of he is a re-joker
Mai: A re-joker?
Terry: Yeah, you know when someone makes a little joke. And I mean a little one. Like a pun, or a smart aleck quip.
Andy: Yeah, something like "Why is Mai gonna be in SNK vs Capcom CHAOS and someone says "I can think of two reasons"
Terry: Exactly Andy, someone says that, and really doesnt expect an uproarious laughter, they get a "Heh" at most, its not really that funny
Andy: Kinda like Oni's stories
Mai: Ok, I follow you so far
Terry: Well, when someone does a little joke around Kyo, he makes it a point to make it again
Andy: And again and again
Terry: The previous example, Kyo would say something like "Yeah, two reasons, HER BOOBIES! HAHAHAHAHAH!"
Mai: Ok, thats not really funny
Terry: Thus one of the many reasons why he is annoying
Andy: There he is now with his old man
*Kyo and Saishu pull up, with Benimaru and that big guy on their team in the back*
Kyo: Hi everyone! Welcome to the beach house!
*Leona, Clark, Whip, and Ralf get out of a hummer*
Ralf: I call the top bunk!
*A new Volstwagon beetle pulls up, and Athena, Bao, Sensou, and Ghin get out*
Sensou: Finally, at the romantic beach side, I shall where down Athena and get laid!
Bai: Look at me Im annoying and you wish I wasnt here dont you!
*Heavy D! rolls up on his bike*
D!: Yo yo yo!
*Bison lands a plane and all the Killer Bees get out*
Bison: Finally! A vacation!
Dan: SSSSSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *stops and looks at Dan*
Dan: There are WAY to many character in this fic! Im the star and I'd only said two lines and an emote this whole time! If one more person gets here, Im gonna snap!
*Yamazaki walks up and walks into the house*
Dan: OK, thats it, we're gonna have to do some cutting!
Athena: But what about the fans? If we are all here, everyone will like your story because everyones fav character will be in it!
Dan: Oh really? Well how about this, Psycho Soldier team, Get out!
Sensou: But what about the frigid virgin girlfriend jokes?
Dan: Benimaru and Kyo can make those jokes, your gone
Gin: But what about my booze *hold up a 6 pack*
Dan: You brought a 6 pack? You'd chug that just to say you contributed, and then drink OURS, we have plenty for us, thank you, and last I checked, the legal drinking age wasnt 80, so we can buy more. Get out.
Psycho team: Awww, *leaves*
Dan: Ok, me, Ruby, and Joe are the central cast members, so we stay. Andy, Mai, Terry, and Blue Mary will be needed for crucial sex humor later on, so they stay. Rock however, is dead weight. Get out.
Rock: But what about dramatic Irony about your my father?
Dan: Your gone, come back for a cameo or two at the beach
Rock: Awwww
Dan: Yamazaki is an almost sidekick he stays
Yamazaki: *laughs maniacly*
Dan: Bison, what are you doing here?
Bison: Um, ready for some fun in the sun?
Dan: Your a villian and this is suppose to be an easy going fic, so get out, but drop of your bathing suit clad bunnies at the beach for eyecandy later
Bison: Dangit
Leona: Ha ha ha! Get lost Bison! Only real characters stay!
Dan: Speaking of staying, your not Ikari warriors
Ralf: Wha? But what about the scene where me and Clark play Desert Storm on the beach and find Sudam Hussain and beat him up
Dan: Sorry, the window for politcal humor has long been closed, your outta here.
Ikari Warriors: You will pay for this!
Dan: Ken, your family stays, Ryu doesnt. Make jokes of how he is boring is getting boring.
Ryu: I would rather train anyway!
Kyo: I bet you would, because you ALWAYS train!
Dan: Kyo, shut up, the only reason you and your dad is staying is because its there house. Benimaru stays because of the homosexual jokes...
Benimaru: Homosexual? I dont get it
Dan: But that big guy has got to go
Kyo: What big guy?
Dan: That guy, the writer doesnt even know his name
Kyo: You mean Daimon
Dan: Whatever, get lost
Daimon: THe writer knows nothing about me, he cannot formulate a response, THE END *vanishes*
Dan: Well, that takes care of that, now, lets move in everyone
*The remaining people grabs there bags and begin to move in*
Dan: Ah, now that that was taken care of, we can look forward to a nice relaxing vacation!
Joe: Yup, going to the beach everyday
Terry: Going fishing!
Mai: Going to the boardwalk!
Dan: And everynight, have sex with your girl, knowing that all your friends are doing the exact same thing
*Ken puts arm around Eliza, Terry looks at Mary, Ruby grabs Dan's ass, Mai strips naked and runs circles around Andy*
ALL: DAMN RIGHT!
Saishu: WRONG!
Dan: What!?
Saishu: Here are the sleeping arangments! *hands Dan a peice of paper* Split into pairs by room, women on the top floor, men on the bottom! No hanky panky in my house!
Dan: Nnnnnooooo!
Saishu: Thats right! *walks off*
Joe: AH ha ha ha! Looks like Im the only one getting laid here!
Terry: But you dont have a girlfriend!
Joe: Exactly, Im gonna meet her at the beach and have some fun, being single is great!
Terry: This sucks, *looking at the paper showing the room assignments* all the guys in the same room
Benimaru: I dont mind!
Terry: ...yeah I bet you dont
Kyo: HA HA HA HA Yeah I bet he doesnt Terry! You know that he is gay!
Terry: Shut up Kyo
Kyo: HA HA HA Good one!
*Inside the house*
Dan: Wow, outside it looks like a dump, but insides its pretty cool!
Joe: Surround sound, HI-def TV, DVD player, *walks into kitchen*
Dan: Nice kitchen too, *opens Fridge*
Joe: Hmmm, *cuts on water spicket* What? *sniffs water, then sticks finger in it and tastes it* Thats Tequila!
Dan: *looking into bedroom* Wow, waterbeds, silk sheets, this place is cool, I wonder which one is my room...
Terry: *walking in with Map* You two arnt on the list
Dan: What?
Joe: Your kidding!
Saishu: Oh, Im sorry, forgot to tell you, you two are outside, over there *points out window to a rinkety small shack*
Joe: The OUTHOUSE?
Saishu: It was an outhouse, but we converted it into a bedroom
Dan: Gross!
*Inside the outhouse/bedroom*
Joe: Jeezus!
*The floor is dirt, with a few 2x4s strawn about on the ground, the walls are wood with gaps big enough to see out of, a small bed in in the corner, and a toilet is in the other corner with a small, waist high curtain around it*
Dan: What the hell is this old man?
Saishu: What? Its a bedroom
*A rat crawls over Joe's foot*
Joe: Eeek!
Dan: A bedroom? You call that a bed? Its a pillow with stilts!
Saishu: What you talking about! Its a twin!
*while Dan and Saishu argue, a giant rat appears and bites Joe's leg, and begins to drag him off*
Dan: Come on man! Everyone would fit in the house if you allow the couples to bunk up!
Joe: Yikes!
Saishu: No unions of sin in my house! Im an ancient monk you know, or something like that. My family is holy, and the house is holy, and we must keep it that way!
Joe: Help!
Dan: Oh come on, your just this cranky because you dont have a Mrs. Kusanagi to kiss your Mr Winky in the morning
Saishu: Im a monk, Im celibate, and under my house, your celibate too!
Joe: Ahhh *rat shakes Joe from side to side*
Saishu: You and your friend here are notorious for your sexual antics! Therefore I put you out here, far far away from the ladies! Maybe that will teach you to keep it in your pants for a few days!
Joe: Argh, thats gonna need a technishot......
Dan: Oh, you havnt heard the last of this by a long shot! I will have sex in your house! I SWEAR IT!!!
Saishu: Sex in the holy house? NEVER!
Joe: It doesnt hurt anymore.....
Dan: Huh? JOE!!!
*Inside the house, people are unpacking*
Yamazaki: *walking into living room with box marked "Xbox! T0tally l33t Rad 2 d maxors!"*
Yama: Now, to hook up my oh so totally cool and mature Xbox up to the TV... Huh?
Mel: *Ken's child is playing his Gamecube on the TV*
Yama: What the? Kid, what are you doing? Unhook this childish stupid Gamecube from the TV so I can play Halo!
MeL: Hmm? Oh hi! Want to play Smash Brothers? I unlocked a secret character the other day, but I dont know how to do them all, but we can play anyway!
Yama: Oh hell no! Im not playing that childish game! Im a grown man, Xbox is my system you suck!
Mel: Oh come on please! We can take turns with our systems, you play a game of Smash Brothers and then we can play Halo OK?
Yama: Grr, I guess I have to suffer through it... damn kid.... *starts picking character: Hey! I want to be Ron Jeremy!
*Outside, the sun is setting on the Beach, for the first night of the vacation*
Dan: *walking towards the house with Joe* Damn, how in the heck am I gonna get laid while on vacation?
Joe: *limping* Dangit, my foots turning green now...
Dan: This is the perfect oportunity for banging! Nice romantic air, the beach, the sun, the sand, the sound of the ocean, the moonlight reflecting of the beach.....
Joe: Oh, gimmie a break, save that lame stuff for your ball and chain
Dan: Oh, come on Joe, Im serious, this is like, THE romantic location, we are gonna be the ONLY people at the beach not makin babies!
Joe: Speak for yourself, Im looking to head to the bars and finding myself a moderately cute and moderatly drunk female with commitment problems that Ill never see again
Dan: Moderately cute? Lowering your standards?
Joe: No, mearly adapting to my urgancy. I usually prefer women that are Very Drunk and Very Beautiful
Dan: Then how come I always see you leaving the bars with a Completely Sober woman thats Not drunk at all?
Joe: Because, Dan, sometimes I am the Very Beautiful person that gets Very Drunk....
*the two walk into the house, and Join Terry and Andy having drinks on the dinner table*
Andy: Im telling you Terry, I really dont care if Im in it or not, as long as the fans cant get enough of Mai Bursting Gown, then MY Wallet will never burst. Ill never have to work again!
Joe: Suo guys, what you all talkin about?
Terry: The roster for the next SNK vs Capcom game is out, have a look see *passes Joe a newspaper*
Joe: *reads* SNK vs Capcom CHAOS, the next action packed installment of the fighting crossover the fans cant get enough of, yadda yadda yadda, Character Rostor Including... Kyo, Iori, Mai, Earthquake, Terry, Ryo, Shiki, Choi, Mr Karate, Kasumi, Kim, Genjiryo, Ryu, Ken, Chun Li, Hugo, Guile, Tabasa, Gouki, Dhalsim, Balrog, Bison, Sagat, and Vega.
Dan: *sits down quietly and has a drink* ....
Joe: WHAT THE? Me and you arnt in it Dan! Whats up with that? They picked DHALSIM and EARTHQUAKE over US? Why would they do something stupid like that?
Dan: Its Affirmiative action man, they needed an indian and a superhumanly fat man...
*Somewhere in a 7-11 in India*
Dhalsim: *opens a letter*
Dhal: Hereby invited to the Chaos tourneyment? *faints*
*back at the beach*
Terry: Relax Joe, there are still secret characters to be had
Joe: Oh yeah right Terry, you forgot we are dealing with SNK here. There version of secret characters are 6 or 7 versions of Kyo. 96 Kyo, 97 Kyo, Kyo with a jacket, Kyo with a tank top, Kyo with Boxer shorts, Kyo with briefs, Kyo 1, Kyo 2, Kyo 3. And lets not forget Evil Ryu, Nice Ryu, Happy Ryu, Ryu on a Bad Day, Como Estas Muy Bein Ryu, Not So Fresh Ryu, Ultra Dry Ryu, and, Regular Akuma, True Akuma, Akuma with sprinkles, Ryu merged with Akuma with sprinkles, Cyber Akuma, l33t Akuma, Not-so-Fresh Ryu merged with Akuma with wings ph balanced for our cheesieness! I tell you, its not about the character diversity anymore, its about the masses. They make video games and fill it with versions of everyones favorite character, or at least what character the company thinks are everyones favorites. The 2d fighting genre is all based upon name recognition, any game made that doesnt have your average 3-letter named hero headlineing it, fails, no matter how great. Look at Rival Schools, Darkstalkers, Power Stone, the companies are so afaid that their next big budget fighting game will fail they think they have to fill the game up with uber-powerful characters to draw in the masses of people that think the number of fireballs a character can have onscreen is an attesment to how badass they are. Its not about haveing colorful, new, and innovative characters, anymore, its all about how many Shoto knock-offs they can squeeze into the game, that way the masses might TRY to play a new character, as long as they are exactly like the old characters, they just throw the fireball with one hand, or do their anti air move with a Foot instead of a fist. Sell outs, thats all these people are, sellouts, and anyone in this game is an attestment to selling out!
Dan: Damn right! Who needs to be in SNK vs Chaos!
Joe: Exactly!
Terry: Not even as a secret character?
Joe: Hell no! You guys are all sell outs, me and Dan, we would never sell out! We are all about the fans, right Dan?
Dan: Uh, well wait a sec....
Joe: All them sell outs dont know anything about real INTEGRITY, do they Dan?
Dan: Uh, nope
Joe: *reading more* Hmmm, screen shots huh? *turns page*
Dan: Screenshots? *looks to Terry*
Terry: *grins and nods* Yup, screenshots of all the sell outs
Joe: Look at'em all, selling out, there is Guile, sold out, Bison, Geese, Sold out, Earthquake fighting *squints eyes* some guy in Pink
Dan: Oh my God look over there Joe!
Joe: He looks kinda lik Ryo in pink....
Dan: Quick Joe, LOOK!
kyo: *walks in*
Joe: What the... is that...
Dan: LOOK OVER THERE IS KYO WE SURE DO HATE HIM RIGHT?
Joe: Huh? Oh yeah, we sure do! Grrrr!
Dan: *grabs newspaper and tears out page with the pictures on it*
Kyo: *sighs* *walks out*
Dan: So, Joe, what were you saying?
Joe: Hmmm? Oh, I was just reading this here, *reads* Strange, seems I lost my place.
Dan: Well, that sucks, *yawn* Oh well, Im tired, Im gonna go to bed! We got a big day of fun in the sun tomorrow! *gets up and starts going up stairs* Do be do be doooooo....
*suddenly there is a big explosion in front of him*
Explosion: WHERE YOU GOING
Dan: Achh! Saishu!
Saishu: You think it would be that easily! Ive been keeping women away from men for YEARS, you will have to do better than that!
*outside*
Dan: *comes flying out of the back door, and lands in front of the outhouse/bedroom*
Dan: Ouchie....
*a toilet flushes from inside the outhouse and a homelessman walks out*
Andore: har har har.....
Dan: *twitches*
Joe: *walks out of the house with newspaper under shoulder* Well well well, do you really think it was gonna go down like that?
Dan: I only let him do that to me because he an old man....
Joe: Sure *walks into the outhouse/bedroom*
Dan: It didnt even hurt....
Joe: *from inside* Yeah, and I bet the fact you where screaming like a girl was to give his ego a boost.... damn man, it stinks in here, what did you do?
And so, our heroes vacation has begun. Not the smoothest of beginings, but its begun none the less. So many unanswered questions. Will Dan and the boys have sex with their wives/girlfriends? Will the vacation get better? Who will try to kill Kyo first? Who will throw up first on the sure to be had drinking binges? What other horrors lay in the Outhouse of Bedroom Doom? Will Joe get a disease from that monster? How many teaser questions can I make up? Will anyone read this story after about a year of nothing coming out? Should I stick to writing humours fictational biographies about myself killing ninjas? Am I talking to myself? Answers, next time.