Author's Note: heh heh. Sorry it took me so long to update. "It was Always the Music" and "Kindness of Strangers" distracted me for a while, but I finally managed to get this out. Hey, it's even the longest chapter I've written if that makes you feel better. Feel free to yell at me if you feel the need cause I was being lazy after I got back from Florida a couple weeks ago.

Disclaimer: Not mine, but you knew that. One of these day's, I'll look at my DVD's and figure out who to give the credit to. Today is not that day and tomorrow doesn't look like it is either.

Memory Lapse Ch. 9

"Heya, Solo. It's been a while, but I needed to talk to someone," Duo murmured leaning against a tree as he stared at the old wooden cross he'd placed there years ago. "I've got no one else. Well I do, but..." his voice trailed off as he worked to find a way to put his feelings into words.

"I died, Solo. I'm positive of that now. What I don't quite understand is why I'm not there with you. Why am I still here? What does he want with me?" Duo moaned placing his head in his hands.

"I'm scared, man. I've never been more scared in my life. I'm turning into something, something powerful. That's why I can't tell any of the others. I'd just wind up being a weapon, the equivalent of one of our Gundams. That's all I'd be any more. They'd only see what I was capable of, not who I am any time they looked at me. God, I'm such a freak! I just wanted to be normal. Why was I chosen for this?"

He started when he felt a small, sharp pinprick in his finger. He looked down realizing that it was the rose he had brought for his friend. He watched in fascination as the skin closed over, healing itself. He shook his head, bangs flying wildly as he tried to clear his head. "I wish you were still around," he murmured as he lovingly placed the pale yellow rose on the earth just in front of the cross. A symbol of friendship. "One day I'll get you a real tombstone, pal."

He sat back again, brooding to himself for a long while as the artificial sun began to set. "I made a deal with him an' I'm not even sure what that deal involves. I don't remember. I've been having all these nightmares. There are so many deaths and I haven't committed a single one of them. Some are violent and gruesome, others are just natural. Like heart attacks or old age an' all that shit. I don't get what it means."

"Or illness?" A soft voice murmured as a form crouched down in front of the boy blocking the gravesite from view.

Duo started, jerking his head up to stare into a young face with endless hazel eyes. "S-solo!"

"In the flesh! Well, er, sorta anyway. Spirit at least which I guess is good 'nough. Flesh would prolly be real nasty," the boy grinned. "You wanted me here, so here I am."

Duo shook his head, again trying to clear it, this time from all the questions that had popped up as to how this was possible. It shouldn't matter at that moment though. The questions would only waste precious time. Time he wasn't positive that he had. It was obvious that he had summoned the boy himself. How? Who knew? It didn't matter. Later it would matter, but not now. Duo lunged at the boy, wrapping his arms around the figure as he fervently wished to be able to feel him. Maybe if he wanted it bad enough it would work. He needed the physical connection just now. He sighed into the boy's neck as strong arms wrapped around him in return. He could feel them!

"Solo... I've missed you!" he whispered finally drawing back a bit to turn the figure around in his arms and place him on his lap. He held him loosely about his waist, resting his chin on the slim shoulder.

"I know, Du' but you didn't call me here to say that," Solo laughed cheerfully as if no time at all had passed between them, as if Duo were still a small child who needed comforting.

"I know, but I needed to say that, too."

Solo patted one of the pilot's hands compassionately. He knew this was scary for his friend. He wished that he was able to tell him what he wanted to know, but he had been strictly forbidden. But, at least he hadn't been forbidden to come at all. Duo needed him. Janice understood that.

"I wanna tell Heero everything. I should be able to, but... this is war. I know he loves me, but... The war will always come first. I know that. If I told him what I knew, then... then, until the war was over he'd forget I was a person, too. I'd just be a tool, a means to an end. I guess that wouldn't be much different from how it has been. Even now, I'm a tool, but I am because I wanna be. I think I'm more of a tool than I expected to be though. They know some of what I can do and they send me on missions to use my gifts. They're already using me more like a gundam than they would a person. When I'm with them, they want to test just how strong my abilities are. They don't have time to just talk to me, like I have feelings."

Both lapsed into silence as each thought about what Duo had said. Finally, Solo spoke up, "Duo, I know what's going on, but Janice won't let me tell you. I want to, you know I'd never lie to you. I know that's why you don't lie." Solo smiled to himself, proud to have a part of himself live on through the boy. "You're right. You are dead in a way. You're immortal now. You won't die when the war ends, but a lot of others will. Innocent ones."

"I-I have the power to end it. I should, but I don't want to. Well, I do, but I don't. I don't want to do it because they tell me to. I should do it because it's what's best for the colonies. So, if I do do it, I can't let the other pilots know until it's done. They can't know I ended it. Well, if the war is over, I guess it won't matter if they find out, but I won't outright tell them it was me. They can figure it out on their own," Duo sighed, convinced of what he needed to do. The war had gone on long enough anyway. Maybe even too long.

"I'll stay 'til yer done. Then I gotta go. Talk to me whenever you need to. I listen. Reminds me that you wou'nt forget me," Solo smiled.

Duo nodded, his eyes drifting shut as he concentrated. He could see them all, everyone responsible for keeping the war going, from preventing peace to reign. He breathed out slowly, releasing his tension and solidifying his resolve.

-~*^*~-

"What the hell happened?! No one's fighting anymore!" Chang WuFei jumped out of his gundam and took off running towards the nearest mobile suit half an hour after it had ceased all motion. He cautiously opened the hatch, still unsure as to whether or not this was a trap. His eyes went wide when he caught sight of the mobile suit's pilot. "H-he's dead..." WuFei blinked after testing the man's pulse. Were they all dead? Was that why they weren't fighting? But how was it possible? "Maxwell...?"

He quickly scrambled back out of the cockpit and back over to his Nataku. He attempted to destroy the base, blinking when nothing happened. His gundam wouldn't attack, which meant that Maxwell had something planned. He hated having to leave the base as is, but as it was there was nothing he could do. He sighed, lifting off and heading back to the safe house. Maxwell had better explain himself! No one else would have been able to pull this off. Besides with all the weird shit that was going on with Maxwell, it had to be related to him somehow.

-~*^*~-

A week had passed and still no missions had been given. Gundams had been looked at, but no problems had been uncovered that would explain why the machines would do nothing but fly and defend. Not one would attack yet all readings stated that everything was as it should be.

Heero had attempted without any success to use his hacking skills to fix the problem, to find Duo's trace. Of the five pilots, he was the only one not accounted for. The other four pilots had each flown back to Quatre's mansion in Ireland, yet that had been not been anyone's intended destination. It was as if their Gundams were getting orders from an outside force.

On news stations, rumors were flying that the war was over. There had been no attacks either from the gundams or Oz. Both sides were silent. The only news was that Oz officials Treize Khushrenada and Zechs Marquise had been meeting with an unknown person to discuss the plan for future peace of Earth and the colonies. Oz had agreed to aid the colonies establishment of a self-governing body and once it was settled, they would then leave. One official from each colony would be asked to join Oz and form something similar to what was known as the United Nations of precolony Earth.

The new peace had come as a shock to everyone on both sides. Almost. One had expected it, one had orchestrated it. Treize Khushrenada looked down at the small form of the long haired gundam pilot, the one he had almost had only a few months before. The boy had surprised him when he had shown up in his office one morning almost a week prior. He had walked in to find the pilot calmly sitting in the chair in front of his desk, simply waiting to be seen to. He recalled the meeting quite clearly.

"How did you get in here without my being alerted?" the colonel asked cautiously as he took a seat behind his desk, placing his forearms upon it and leaning forward slightly with interest.

"I'm known for my stealth," the pilot shrugged, clearly unconcerned with being in enemy territory.

Treize snorted at the simple statement. Those stealth skills had gotten the pilot caught only a few months ago, but he had to agree that out of the five pilots it was nearly impossible to track pilot 02 until it was too late. They had simply been lucky the last time.

"That base was supposed to have been evacuated long before I entered its vacinity."

"True. Let me ask you a question. How did you manage to escape? My soldier reported that he had left you dead."

"He did, but my partner pulled me through. I'd rather not talk about that. That isn't why I am here."

"Alright," Treize carefully watched the boy wondering what he could have meant. Had Yuy gotten there in time to revive him then? Interesting. Like Chang WuFei, this boy seemed to have a sense of honor. Like the other, he would not kill him unless it was done fairly, not under the assumption of a discussion. He was secretly pleased with that fact. "Then to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"You will blueprint the plan for peace between the Earth and the colonies with me. The war is over, Colonel."

"What?" Treize laughed not being able to suppress the laughter bubbling up in his chest. He had heard rumors of the pilot being insane, but this was ridiculous. He was not through fighting and surely neither were those scientists.

"The war is over. I will not say it again. Neither your mobile suits, nor the gundams will fight. All the soldiers who would not have accepted peace are dead. No one remains who wants the war to continue. If you doubt my word, you can check for yourself."

"How did the gundams do this?" eye narrowed, as the colonel's scrutiny intensified. There was something odd about the boy.

"The gundams didn't. I did. As I said, the gundams will not fight either," Duo examined his braid, giving Treize the impression that he was getting bored with the conversation, as if he'd rather be doing something else.

"But the pilots could change their minds and begin fighting again!" He was not about the trust the enemy's word to blindly. He would have known about something so great in its proportion.

"It was not the decision of the pilots. It was my decision and I will not change it. The other pilots could attempt to fight using their gundams, but their gundams would not follow the commands. The pilots cannot make them fight. Even Heero's hacking skills will not be enough to reverse it," he looked up, violet eyes searing as if he himself had been personally insulted.

"Why?"

"Because I am selfish of course," Duo grinned, tossing the tail of his braid flippantly over his shoulder and resuming his serious expression. "Now, there have already been too many deaths. It is time to discover peace and move forward."

"Yes, yes of course," the colonel nodded to himself moments later after checking the status of his troops over the intercom. It seemed as if the pilot were truthful. Zechs was completely baffled as to how it could have happened.

How they all had underestimated the small boy. It seemed as if he had won the war single handedly. There was a chance that he had. As far as he could tell, the boy had not once lied. He had been truthful about the mobile suits and even Zechs' gundam, as well as all the soldiers. The pilot who called himself the God of Death had ended the war and was now seeking peace. Perhaps there was some grain of truth to the statement.

-~*^*~-

"Yo! I'm back!" Duo called out as he opened the door. He staggered as Quatre's entire weight was thrown at him.

"You're safe! I didn't know what happened to you! Where were you?" The questions flew at the pilot rapidly as he disentangled himself from the small blonde and laughed.

"Good to know I was missed. I was out on a mission," Duo shrugged, nonchalant.

"But no one has had any missions recently," Heero murmured stepping into the hall. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms over his chest and eying him suspiciously.

"It wasn't for the scientists. I was on a mission of my own."

"But Duo! What about the plan that the scientist have figured out?!" Quatre stared incredulously at Duo's audacity. He couldn't believe Duo would even dare to go behind their backs. Sure he hated rules, but Duo was never that far out of line.

"The scientists are dead, Q. They're all dead. They have no plan anymore. The only plan in action is that of peace. There is no more war. Oz is working together with the colonies and Earth."

"But... how?"

"Mass genocide," Duo sneered grimly, turning away from the other pilots. "Everyone who wanted the war to continue in any way is dead."

"But-"

"Drop it Q. We're not soldiers anymore. You're all free to do as you please. No more missions, no more orders," Duo spoke softly as he walked into the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. He tried to ignore Heero's presence behind him as he stood at the sink watching out the window.

"You were the one discussing peace with Oz weren't you?" Heero asked, sighing when he got no response. "I'll take that as a yes. I'll also take it as a yes, you're responsible for what you called a genocide. Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I needed the war to end before you put certain clues together about me. I needed to remove the cause of your eventual mistreatment of me. Without the cause, it will no longer matter what I am capable of. That's why I didn't say anything. If you knew what I could do, I wouldn't have been a person anymore, Heero. Can you honestly tell me that if you knew, you wouldn't have asked me to stop everything?" Duo turned to look at the pilot sadly.

Heero looked off to the side. He couldn't meet those intense violet eyes. Duo was right. He would have asked. The soldier in him would have made him. "I'm sorry Duo."

"I know Heero. That's why I didn't put you into that situation. I didn't want you to do something you'd regret. I did it because I love you, because I didn't want you to start thinking of me as a means to an end. I wanted you to continue seeing me as a person with feelings... even if you do like to ignore them sometimes," Duo smirked to himself a bit as Heero's eyes widened in shock. "You call me baka waaaaaay too often. Who knows why I still love you, but I do," Duo kissed Heero's cheek lightly as if in forgiveness.

"I love you, too. You know that right, Duo?" Heero asked in an uncharacteristically small voice.

"Of course I do," Duo grinned ruffling the pilot's hair affectionately. "Come on. Bed time. I'm beat."

"Alright," Heero offered a rare smile causing some of the frost around Duo's heart to melt. It would still take him some time, but he knew eventually he'd feel whole again. For now he'd just have to pretend.

TBC...