Coliseum
Lin: *Enters through big double doors* What the shit? This isn't Greece! The Coliseum is in ROME! Gosh darn it! WE DOMINATED THE GREEKS, THEY WERE OUR SLAVES! *Obviously Italian, stands proudly with an Italian flag waving in the background*
Sam: Ahem … that's not the point. The POINT is obviously that we got here BEFORE that other shitkicker, Sora!! Fwuwahahahahaaa! OUR GUMMI SHIP IS FASTER AND WE ARE STRONGER! FWUAHAHAHAA!!
Mr. Twiddles: *Pulls her sleeve slightly and points at the double doors that have once again swung open*
**Sora, Donald & Goofy all walk in**
Lin: Awwww shit! *Snaps her fingers in defeat* BLASPHEMY!
Donald: *Duck voice* Quack quack quack, QUUAAAAACK WACK WACK WACKK!!
Sam: … Yes …
Lin: *Throws bread crumbs at him*
Sora: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM??
Lin: It's a duck! *Continues chucking bread crumbs at him*
Donald: QUAAAAACKKKKK, QUACK WAK WAAAKKKITY WAACKK!!
Sam: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP! *Takes out her aluminum bat and hits Donald in the knees* WE DON'T GET WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE SAYING!
Lin: *Scoops up the bread crumbs again* Well, if HE isn't going to eat it … than I will! *Shovels crumbs into mouth*
Mr. Twiddles: *Shoves his hand in the bag and begins to eat with Lin*
Sora:….that's not right..Those were on the ground! THE GROUND!
Lin: *Mouth filled with dirty bread crumbs* eh? Sho? Tashteh….
Goofy: Hawhawhaw! By golly-gee-whiz……gee….That's gross.
Sam: -_-; Okay!!! For SHIT'S sake! We are here for a reason!! I just can't remember it! *ponders*
Donald: QUAAAAACCCCK!!! *Points at Hercules*
Sora: Whoa! Donald found a gay Greek man! Let's go! *unusually cheery about the subject*
Sam:….*eye twitches* homophobic sensors kicking in!!!! GYAAAAAHHHHHH!! *Smacks herself in the head, foams at the corners of her mouth and convulses*
Goofy:…uh..garsh, Is she gonna be alright? Hayuck!
Lin: Oh she'll be fine! Just needs a good WHOOPIN', like one of those old time TVs! *Kicks her in the ass*
Sam: *Snaps out of it*….Thanks….I needed that! *Wipes foam away* Okay! Let's get going! *Lin, Mr.Twiddles and her run for the goatman*
Phil: Uh….May I help you? *A little frightened by the monkey in a tuxedo*
Sam: Yes you may my fat little hairy friend…We'd like to sign up for the tournament.
Phil: No can do toots.
Sam: *evil eye* Do NOT call me toots, doughboy! Or I'll be shovin' those fruit-pies you gorge yourself on UP YER ARSE-HOLE!!!
Phil: o.o; r-right…..
Lin: Whyyy can't we join? You let them join!! *Points at Donald, Sora and Goofy as they enter the tournament doors* You're not fair…
Phil: Hey kid, life's not fair. Deal with it! *Snorts at her*
Lin: *Lip quivers* Besides!! They're grosser than we are!!!
Phil: Oh? *Looks at the monkey who is picking his nose. He inspects it and then eats it.* Ugh….*Cringes*
Lin: Heehee! Wait till you see him do it with his tongue! So talented!! *Chippy laughter*
Sam: Lin! That's personal info your giving out there….Besides…it's much more amusing to see him do it to his ass!
Phil: Ugh! *Cringes more* That's fucking nasty!!
Lin: …So..NOW will you let us join?
Phil: Why the hell would I do that?
Lin: Cause you got to see Mr.Twiddles trick free of charge!
Sam: Damn right! Now let us in!!
Phil: No.
Sam: Yes.
Phil: NO.
Sam: o.O YES!
Phil: NO!!!
Sam: I'm gonna KILL YOU and make SOUVLAKI outta your grass-grazing-ass!!!!
Phil: *Cringes yet again* Ugh..ya know what? I thi-
Lin: No! We don't know what!!! Why don't you TELL us?!?!
Phil: O.o….I was going to….
Lin: LIES!!! Your in it with the Sattelites!!!! AND THE EARWIGS!!! *Points accusing finger at him*
Phil: *Whispers to Sam* I think you might want to seek some SERIOUS help for this cookie….
Sam: Nah..she's a hopeless case…
Phil…Right. AS I was TRYING to say! I'm going to let you in because you guys freak me out…Especially that DAMN monkey! Why is he in a tuxedo anyways?!
Lin: Cause he looks snazzy…
Mr.Twiddles: *Smiles*
Phil: Go….just go…..*Hangs head*
Lin: WHOO!! *Picks up Mr. Twiddles and skips in* WE GOING TO THE SHIP, WE GOING TO THE SHIP!
Phil: …. What did I just do?
Sam: Maa … you won't live to regret it. I've taken liking to that souvlaki idea … heh heh … *give him an evil look and proceeds to the lobby*
Sora: HAH, we're the BESTEST BEST BESTEST BEST!
Sam: Anything you can do I can do better! *Sing songs* I can do anything better than you!
Sora: NO YOU CAN'T!
Sam: … Fuck yes, I fucking can.
Sora: FINE, BE A POOFACE …
Sam: Fine … be a SHITface …
Sora: *Pouts* You used a mean word …
Sam: Yeah, well you're ugly … we've got some ass to kick so SAYONARA! *throws a towel at him that seems to have come out of hammer space*
Sora: What the poo?
**Sam, Lin and Mr. Twiddles are in the ring … awaiting their opponent. Cloud with mysterious wing sprouting out of his back and a shadowy figure is in back of him**
Lin: *Sniffs* Smells like … store-bought shit …
Sam: And you would know this why? However … it does smell kinda rank …
**They eye Cloud suspiciously**
Sam: HAA, HE'S SHITTING HIMSELF ALREADY! Bwahaha … *takes out aluminum bat* FEAR US, FEEEEAAAAAARRR US!
Cloud: *Ignores them* Presenting my WONDERFUL ally … THE RUBBER POOP MONSTER!!!
**They all look towards the shadowy figure. To find … that it's a big blob of cheap ass shit that has tiny arms and instead of legs … a wheel. Yes … he is a big pile of shit with a seemingly unicycle shoved up his ass (Created by: Lin – doesn't that explain everything?)**
Sam: AW, LOW BLOW!! FIGHTING WITH POO? Mr. Twiddles could do better than that …
Cloud: Oh yeah? SHOW ME!
Mr. Twiddles: *Grabs sand and throws it in Cloud's eyes and as his foe is temporarily blinded he runs and bites him in the crotch*
Cloud: *Eyes well up with tears* Oooh … *Falls over, his one wing wrapped around himself*
Sam: BEAT YOU!
Rubber Poop Monster: *In deep, deep voice* I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO, IF YOU BUG ME I'LL THROW MY SHIT ON YOU!
Lin: Um … not quite … *Takes out a battery operated hair dryer*
Sam: AH GAWD, This isn't the time to be styling your hair, Lin!
Lin: No, no … don't worry. *Points it threateningly at RBM* I WILL DRY HIM UP UNTIL HE IS A DRIED UP LITTLE … TURD MAN!
RBM: NooooooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooo!
Sam: YEEEEEEAH!
Mr. Twiddles: *Claps and makes monkey noises … like monkeys usually do … because … they're monkeys … and Mr. Twiddles is a monkey … well, sort of. Mr. Twiddles is a monkey but first and foremost he is a human called Leon … that turned into a monkey … and henceforth, he is licensed to make monkey noises. Point finale.*
Lin: *Dries up the turd* FWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
RPM: NOOOOooooOOOoooOOOoooooooOOOOOOoooo … *falls over, shriveled up the size of a chicken turd … because he is after all a turd. Well, sort of, he is a turn riding a unicycle that is shoved up his ass … but it all comes down to the fact that he was the result of a bear squatted in the woods, pushin' brown. So he is allowed to look like a turd that is shriveled up … because he's a dried up turd …*
Lin: WE WON THE SHIP, WE WON THE SHIP, WE WOOOONN THE SHIIIPPP!!!
Sam: SHUT … UP!!!
Authors Note: *Sigh* Five pages of PURE SHIT … IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!! HAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA …. Ahem … READ AND REVIEW!