With a great deal of private prodding by his new and very intimidating guardian, Obi-Wan did tell his aunt good-bye as he headed out with his belongings away from his home. A home he had lived in since his mother died when he was three. However, he drew the line when it came to saying any words of kindness to his uncle.
He did feel sadness over leaving the woman he thought of as his second mother, but his stubbornness caused Jinn to give him a very long winded and heated instructions about being graceful in his way of his good-bye to Selena.
Once on their trip back to Courscant, words didn't come to either the master or his little charge sitting beside him. Obi-Wan sat and watched the stars and other planets go by as he traveled. He knew he was getting further and further away from his home and closer and closer to the unknown, the Jedi temple and all the strangers he be thrust amongst to live with.
He reached into his jacket pocket and let his fingers stroke the smoothness of his sacred gift given to him by his //"bestest friend in the world" // the birthday rock. He selfishly wished Owen had told him how the rock had helped him through times of peril for he thought he could use its help now. One lone tear dropped down his cheek and was quickly brushed away so Master Jinn would not see it.
Jinn did not see the tear but he couldn't keep the misery of the little boy from seeping through to his mind. Jinn still thought that after the bond he shared with Owen, evaporated from his mind, Obi's distressed feelings would cease their annoying intrusion of his mind. He still attributed Obi's connection to him to Owen's close and intimate connection to Obi-Wan.
Master Yoda and Master Windu greeted their friend, Qui-Gon when he arrived at the temple. Both wanted to see Qui-Gon, but their curiosity about the child he brought was the leading reason for their greeting him so quickly.
Master Windu shot Jinn a perplexed smile. He had never known Jinn to put himself in such a preposterous situation as to raise a child, helpless without the force. And from what he had seen of the boy, he was sickly, small, and quite possibly more trouble than even Qui-Gon bargained for.
"Well Qui-Gon this will be a new experience for you and I plan to sit back and enjoy every trying minute of it. Your new apprentice will be here first thing in the morning. He has been visiting with his family but once Master Dalia told him that her search to find him a temporary master was over and he found out you, the *great* Jinn, would see to his last year of apprenticeship, he hopped on the next ship to Courscant."
Jinn seemed disappointed. The twenty-three year old, Padawan Tia Da'Neel would not be a problem he thought but he had hoped to have time to get Obi-Wan settled first.. It would not be though. He would have to deal with two at one time, instantly.
Master Yoda had said nothing. Jinn moved over to speak to Mace as Master Yoda literally circled the boy and a couple of times poked his stick toward him.
Obi-Wan was terrified of him. The scrutinized glare of the little master confused the boy. He did not know then Yoda would be his closest ally. Yoda next did something that totally terrified the boy. Enough fear in him that he ran to Jinn. Yoda took his gimer stick and raised the boy's head by placing it up under the chin of Obi's so as to get a good luck.
Master Yoda what are you doing? I imagine he had visions of you hitting him with that thing. Everyone else does around here when you raise it."
At first the boy thought he might certainly be struck with the menacing looking stick stuck right in his face. At best a rude way to get a look at someone he thought as he realized the stick was there to assist Yoda's inspection of and not to kill him. Obi-Wan did tremble as trendril of fear rose within him when he felt the cold end of the gimer stick pressed firmly but ever so gently against the underneath portion of his deeply dimpled chin; his mark of character he could distinctly remember his mother telling him about the *family* dimple. An inherited trait he, along with Owen shared..
It was at that moment he drew closer to Master Jinn. He did not touch him just moved toward him as if to seek shelter from the more threatening little JedI with his weapon, his gimer stick.
"See the boy I needed too. Wise decision you have made. Turn out well this will. Force has foreseen this."
"Sure Master Yoda. The force has put a child with no force with Jinn, what for, his next padawan. Now that Qui-Gon would be a feat even you with your impressive Jedi abilities couldn't do, train a child with no force to be a Jedi."
Windu always tried to be funny but Obi-Wan didn't care for Windu's use for the brunt of his joke
"I don't want to be a Jedi. The only Jedi I ever knew ended up dead. That's what they got from the force and Master Jinn of course, their death."
Obi-Wan felt for his rock in his pocket. He might not know how to use it's power but the warmth that radiated from it seemed to soothe the child and made him feel safer. It made him feel closer to Owen. With that thought, guilt rushed through the displaced little boy.
Owen had loved this Jedi master, put all his faith in him, and in a way died for him. Could Obi-Wan do no less to trust Qui-Gon even half as much as his cousin had put *all* his trust in him?
.//I guess I have to give him a chance. Maybe he has tried to give me one just by bringing me here. . At least I am not in an orphanage somewhere sharing a room with a bunch of other kids like me, that no one wanted. //
"I am sorry Mr. Jinn I did not mean to speak rudely to your friends or you. I guess I am just tired. I have not been on a space craft since my mom died and I was taken to my home…I mean to Owen's home. Now… I am here. I am really tired."
Jinn could see the boy sway with exhaustion, barely able to stay on his feet . His eyes drooped from the desire to sleep
"Yes well let me show you to your room."
Jinn shot his old friend, the bald one a perplexing look., Mace just shrugged.
"How was I to know the kid couldn't take a joke?"
"Enough it is. Scared the boy you have."
Yoda's voice instantly calmed the boy. Even though Master Yoda examined him as if he were under a microscope when he first saw him, Obi-Wan got an instant hunch he would end up being the little master's friend and he would be his.
"Master Yoda with all that circling and staring at Obi, I think you may have scared him too."
"No Mr. Jinn, I am not scared. Well not now anyway…."
"Please Obi call me Master Jinn, Qui-Gon, Master, anything. I am ill accustomsed to being called Mr. It seems out of place."
They continued their walk down the hall and left the other two masters standing there.
"I am sorry Mr.. I mean Master.. I suppose I have doe everything wrong today. Maybe tomorrow will be better."
"Yes may be it will be. I for on one hope so. For both of our sakes."
The trip had sapped most of the energy within the child. His stamina gone, his eyes half lidded with the weight of sleep. Obi-Wan was almost asleep walking. Weariness, slowed his pace to a crawl, but he took Jinn's words as his regret for ever having brought him here.
//He may just send me to the orphanage with the way I have acted and the disappointment in me that he clearly has.//
Once inside Jinn's little home, he motioned Obi-Wan the sleep couch where the boy dropped like a cement brick.
From the kitchen he was barely aware of a voice telling him step by step what they would do after a hot cup of tea. While the tea sounded like a good idea Obi-Wan found that when he sat down his eyelids became even heavier . His only wish was to close them just till Master Jinn came back in with the tea…..
"I had forgotten about my padawan, actually Master Dalia's padawan. We will have to work out the sleeping arrangement; maybe bring in another small bed if it will fit in Owen's room."
Jinn felt a rush of sadness as he realized he would have to allow others in his former apprentice's room. For only a moment he regretted even his dearest friend and cousin Obi-Wan being allowed in to disturb the memories of Owen. Everything in his room had been intentionally left the way it was. Maybe some would call it eccentric but before Jinn had not been willing to let go.
Now though with two new additions to his home he would have too. Maybe, he reasoned, it was for the best to force him to acknowledge Owen would not come back, no matter how long he kept his room for him.
//I am being ridiculous. I can't keep things as they are forever . Life is always changing. I will put Owen's things away tomorrow.//
With two cups of tea in hand, he entered his common room to share tea with the child and then show him to his room quite possibly to rest.
There in the common room on the sleep couch his plans were thwarted by the already fast asleep Obi-Wan. He had fallen over on the couch, asleep.
Jinn went over picked up the two dangling legs of the boy and then took the throw from the back of the sleeper and threw it over Obi-Wan.
He settled himself in his big easy chair just opposite the boy, picked up his tea and studied the sleeping form before him. Although close to the correct age of a beginner padawan Jinn could feel a certain vulnerability about the boy. He was not trained in the crèche, then followed by initiate training. A padawan could heal himself, be extremely independent, even cook for himself if need be..
This would be quite different Jinn realized as he rubbed his forehead. He had never been around a child with no force abilities who would rely explicitly on him for *everything*. Parenthood was a big responsibility, one Jinn was truly hesitant now to take ever how late it was to make such assessment of his mistake of accepting responsibility for the boy.
Obi-Wan's breathing settle to a rhythmic pattern that indicated he had fallen into a deep sleep, sped up by the total exhaustion and mounted apprehension. Qui-Gon noted with a bit of humor that the boy did have one annoying trait he recognized that Obi-Wan shared with his former apprentice, Owen. He snored and not too softly either.
//Selena, my dear dear friend what have I let you talk me into? //
Qui-Gon knew first impressions were sometimes overrated and certainly not always a way to judge a person. He hoped that was the truth because the new padawan had already rubbed the master the wrong way. His indignant attitude toward Obi-Wan sharing his room was an instant clue there might be trouble with Da'Neel even tough Jinn's first inclination was to overlook his outburst earlier that day.
It happened when both boys were in their shared room. Their task should have been an easy and simple one; see to it each had half of the room to call their own. What things of Owen's that had not been put away was to be delicately put in the storage box the Jedi master provided for them and it would be stored away.
The first sign that things might not go as well as Qui-Gon expected them too, were loud shouts of the two coming from their shared bedroom. Jinn promptly responded to those shouts, surprised his new apprentice would allow himself to be drawn into such a childish display as a shouting match.
He would have expected as much from the child, but not from a senior apprentice with only a year to go before knighthood. His new padawan of less than twelve hours and *his* child of two days, were clearly pitted solidly against each other is some sort of disagreement.
"Don't you dare touch them. They belonged to Owen. They belong here now."
"*Belonged* is the key word, Sprout. It is past tense because he is not alive anymore. He has no need of anything left in this room so shut-up you little brat. I won't have my half of the room junked up by some childish little knickknacks of Master Jinn's dead padawan."
Obi-Wan was small for his twelve years and he certainly didn't have the Jedi powers of the practically adult padawan, but it didn't stop him from launching a physical attack on Jinn's brand new padawan. Da'Neel had just tossed one of the space ship models toward Obi-Wan's bed. It missed the bed and fell to the floor. Obi-Wan watched with growing anger as the spaceship exploded in several pieces. They were tossed back up in mid-air and as he watched the splintered ship land, piece by piece back to the floor, his decision was made on what to do.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and became a * human torpedo*. He lowered his head and rammed it right into the unprotected gut of his adversary, his new roommate.
Jinn heard a crunch and a small yell. The much larger and older Da'Neel had his breath knocked out for him and when he landed on the floor he found himself pinned there by the so much smaller body of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He viciously pounded Da'Neel right in the face. Qui-Gon opened the door just as his new padawan used a force induced push. Obi-Wan flew a crossed the room and had Jinn not been there to softened his landing, the boy would have crumpled like a "house of cards".
"Padawan that's enough. What do you think you are doing?"
"Sorry master. I only tried to keep that little one out of my hair. He has insisted on keeping everything I have thrown out."
Qui-Gon reached down and stood Obi-Wan on his feet. What came next was not expected. Obi-Wan headed straight for the apprentice again. This time Jinn was there. He reached out and with just a touch of the force stopped the boy in mid-step. //Quite a comical sight// he thought as he walked over grabbed the tunic just at the nape of Obi's neck and released his force hold on the child. Obi-Wan landed his foot down on the floor anxious to continue his run on Da'Neel when he realized the force no longer had him but Qui-Gon had a tight-grip and would not allow him to take that step he so desperately wanted too.
Qui-Gon continued his hold on Obi-Wan by the collar and is feet dangled a couple of inches from the floor.
"Padawan Da'Neel anything that belonged to my previous padawan is not to be *thrown* away. I left that large plastic container to neatly and I said neatly and safely pack Owen's things . I have a place in my room to store them. I also told Obi-Wan he could keep some of the models out because he enjoys them too. He will keep five, the rest will be packed away. Do you here that Obi-Wan?"
No answer from the little one. a quick jerk to his collar to get his attention and the boy heard Master Jinn more clearly then.
"Yes sir."
"If you choose five now you can interchange them anytime you like, just get permission to go to my room."
Padawan Da'Neel bowed politely and gritted his teeth while his head was down. He had already got in trouble because of that brat of a child he didn't even know would be there. He was so excited to find out he would be trained by Master Jinn the last year of his padawanship and then to come and find the little pest was a disappointment. To make things worse he would have to share a room. He welcomed their first mission, if he ever got to go on one. He wouldn't if Jinn ever found out how really short-tempered and vile he was at times.
"Master, please forgive me. I suppose the stress of my master's illness and the long trip has gotten me emotionally wound. As soon as I have things sorted out and put away I will get my meditation mat out and devote my entire evening after last-meal on a soul searching meditation for inner peace. . //AHH……How's that Master Jinn do I sound repented enough for ya? I will find a way to get back at that little waif of trouble he has dragged in on *us*. Just wait Obi-Wan your time is coming!!! //
Qui-Gon was pleased that his new apprentice excepted his shared blamed in the argument. He thought the young man spoke the truth. Maybe he was under stress and weariness from all the shuffling around he had gone through.
"I don't think I could ask more from you Da'Neel. Obi-Wan will come out with me while you finish what you have too. He can finish his half of the room when your are meditating."
Jinn pulled Obi-Wan with him as he left the boy's bedroom. Still with Obi's collar he not so softly sat him down on the sleep couch in the common room.
"Just what was that all about?"
"Nothing. I……………………."
Obi-Wan could not finish his sentence because of Master Jinn's fury-driven interruption.
"Nothing? you attacked another person. You tried to do bodily harm to my apprentice and you say that is *nothing*. Extraordinary, how a person less blessed than a Jedi can think and reason so irrationally. Doing harm to anyone is not Nothing, Obi-Wan. That is the first lesson that must be learned before you can continue here at the temple Is that understood?"
"I don't think I *tried* to bring harm. I think I was very successful even if he is bigger."
Jinn realized the child had listened to him and had gleaned nothing from the little speech he had just given. He decided to use words that the boy could understand!!!
"He could have broken you into like a twig with his force abilities, had he been as willing as you to harm another. However that is not his way because he is a Jedi and he did not allow your petty goading to get to him."
Obi-Wan assumed a defiant stance; his legs slightly parted, his arms crossed over his chest and a self-satisfied look of appreciation for himself for what he had just done. Jinn could not see an ounce of remorse as the small little person stood there and glared just as testily back at him. He could give what was dished out to him.
"Yea….. well I was counting on his Jedi wisdom, and "do-good" behavior to keep my body from being *broken*."
"I think you are being quite rude and disrespectful, definitely two things not allowed in my home and most importantly in the Jedi temple its self.. Now at last-meal you will apologize to Da'Neel."
"Sure whatever. Like I am really going to apologize for something I enjoyed doing so much. No sir, he will get no apology from me, ever…"
Obi-Wan really didn't like making his guardian angry at him. In fact he feared the big Jedi master but there were certain things he just could not do and apologize to someone who broke, intentionally broke Owen's things was one of them. He also would not stand by and let Jinn's new apprentice belittle his old one. Especially when Jinn's former apprentice was his beloved cousin, Owen.
//Da'Neel has a mouth on him, but he will soon learn he is not going to use it on me or to violate Owen's memory. //
He felt in his pocket of his tunic for Owen's rock. He pulled it out and palmed it in his hand. He needed reassurance more than ever. Just as he tried to conceal it better, it slipped and fell out of his hand to the floor right at Jinn's feet. He had never mentioned his prized gift to anyone, not even Master Jinn.
The main light overhead made the special rock glisten as the light's rays glanced off the river stone.
Qui-Gon quickly bent down and picked up the rock. Confusion filled the master's mind along with painful flash backs of he and Owen's last day at the temple.
"I thought he had lost it during the battle *that* day. He must of have left it here by mistake. His good luck charm and the one time he didn't have it he was killed. He always vowed he never go into battle without it."
A dark sharp look of accusation met the boy's confused one.
"What are you doing with it? I said to put everything in Owen's box that was his. You were only given leave to keep some of his space ship models and this is the thanks I get for being generous with my former apprentice's personal belongings? You have no right to this. If it had been on him…well I know I shouldn't believe in good luck but he felt so strongly that he couldn't fight without it. I shouldn't have rushed him . We were both late and I didn't want to miss the transport for his home visit…"
A deep mournful sigh escaped along with his next expelled breath after he finally managed to take a *next* breath.
Obi was not sure the words were really meant for him or that he should be privy to a conversation he thought was more or less to Jinn's mind and not to anyone around. Jinn just rambled.
He was so upset about Owen not having the rock that Obi's plan to tell him that Owen gave it to him that day, changed. He would have to except punishment for stealing, before he could let the man before him know the truth. *HE*, Obi-Wan Kenboi was the real reason his apprentice died. Owen had not left it home, but instead gave it to Obi to quell his fears, not thinking of his own safety .
Obi-Wan fell silent and dropped his stare to the floor.
Anger whirled around Jinn and he stared the boy. Dangerous anger that had to be fought back just to keep him from exactly his own bodily harm to the child just after stopping Da'Neel from doing it..
"I asked you a question you little thief. What makes you think you can come in my home and steal something very valuable in my apprentice's view and thus its meaning just as valuable to me... He had so much trust in this rock, I am surprised he left it here, but it was not up to you to take it without permission. Had you asked the answer would have been no.. This is the one thing we shared together, his secretbelief that it was force sensitive rock. You have tarnished that sacred memory of it by stealing it for your own petty reason. Astounding, just astounding and you claim to have loved him but yet you have dishonored him by your actions here today."
Obi-Wan had nothing to say in retaliation against Jinn's words. His face burnt with shame, his thoughts of Owen and what he had done by accepting the rock that day flamed just as strongly in his mind.
How could a he know things would turn out so badly just because he accepted a gift? He now blamed himself. Quilt weighed so heavy on the child. He really could care less what happen to him now. His thoughts only lay in getting away from Master Jinn. He would smother if he didn't. Shame and undeniable guilt overwhelmed Obi-Wan as he mentally sought where he could go to get away from all of this now, quickly.
Jinn should have kept the argument and statements about Obi-Wan more private .He really didn't notice when Da'Neel came out but his new apprentice heard everything. It would be very good ammo to use against the little one.
Obi-Wan did not know where to run. In a mouse of a voice Obi-Wan was forced to speak with Master Jinn to find out where he could go to be out of everyone's way. Banishment from his new home and sentenced to being alone in his sorrow and misery would be his punishment and a harsh one it would be.
There would be no solace or sanctuary from the stress of being uprooted from his true home and the thought that he caused Owen's death. It was more than the little boy could handle. He just wanted to run from Jinn and his own memories of that day Owen was killed.
"Where should I go Qui-Gon, sir, I mean to be out of your way?"
Jinn turned on the boy so fast, Obi-stepped back with fear that he planned to strike him. Never had he seen anyone so angry not even his uncle at his angriest at Obi-Wan. Jinn's thoughts ran along the same lines of his ward, he wanted the boy out of his sight as quickly as possible. He did not honor the child with even a glance as he spoke to him.
"There is a small garden at the end of the outside hall to the right. Try there. The further you are away from me right now, the better. Later after I have meditated I will discuss this with you. Hopefully I will be able to gain control of my emotions because for now I have no reign on them whatsoever."
Obi-Wan immediately went to the door. He could not wait to leave the apartment; the one meant to be his home. But didn't homes have love in them *ever*? The air in Jinn's apartment suddenly seemed heavy, too thick to breathe.
Obi fought to get his breath as he made his way to the door to where hopefully on the other side there would be enough air to fill his raw lungs made that way from his erratic breathing.
The boy was dizzy from lack of oxygen. It wasn't that there was no air in there, he was hyperventilating; preventing the air from being inhaled because of the quick little gasps he took to try to remain calm, and not cry in front of the Jedi.
"Oh and Obi-Wan don't ever let me catch you stealing something else. It's bad enough that I have to tell the council that I have brought a proverbial thief in our midst. We could both end up without a place to live if this happens again."
Jinn let his fingers trace a small ridge on one side of the otherwise smooth rock as he watched Obi-Wan turn to leave. He gently turned the rock over and over in his hand for the same reason Obi-Wan had it out in his hand. It brought sweet memories and calm to him.
As soon as the door slammed behind him by Jinn's very hands, Obi-Wan leaned against it still gasping for much needed air.
//I couldn't tell him Owen gave it too me. He might not have believed me. However if he did, he would only blame me for Owen's death and be even angrier with me. Who could deny him? It was my fault.. I took his good luck charm. Owen died because of me.//
Impolitely licking his fingers of any meat juices on them after he had not bothered to use his fork to pick up the Grata bird leg, Padawan Da'Neel next tackled the mashed squash mounded on his plate. He used half the sweetener in the container.
Mounded was a kind word for the amount Da'Neel planned to consume, Jinn thought. Literally *//PILED* on would be a more descriptive word for it.// Although he did not feel like eating last-meal, the Jedi master he felt obligated to sit with his new apprentice and pushed his food around while Tia Da'Neel literally gobbled his down.
He watched the boy. More than watched really, he intently studied every little movement. What his padawan said earlier about meditating seemed, for some reason, out of place. Qui-Gon suspected Da'Neel, ever dutiful padawan, he gave the outward perception of, was not his true persona. He regretted in some ways that he did not share a bond with the boy. He could be thinking anything and Jinn would not know it.
He had never been faced with a padawan that he could not follow his training with constant vigil mentally and as well as physically. Without a bond to at least get a feel for what his thoughts entailed. Jinn could not *feel* if the young man was frustrated, angry, or indeed surrounded by Jedi tranquility as he insinuated he did.
Call it a hunch or a message from the force, but Jinn's instincts told him there was something about this apprentice that was not trustworthy and just maybe he didn't have all that Jedi serenity he displayed to Jinn earlier when he argued with Obi-Wan.
His words to Jinn's ward only lent credit to Qui-Gon's suspicions and he remembered him calling Obi-Wan a brat and he wouldn't have his side of the room cluttered with junk from a dead padawan.
//Not very serenely Jedi or were his words blessed with tact if you think about it.//
As he sat there watching him eat, Jinn realized things might have turned out differently today between he and Obi-Wan had he came to this conclusion about Padawan Tia Da'Neel sooner rather than later.
As Da'Neel ate his second piece of apple pie, Jinn's thoughts left his apprentice to wonder if Obi-Wan was still in the gardens he sent him too..
Did he stay in the gardens? He reached through the force and found he could at least touch slightly Obi-Wan's aura. Jinn first thought it was a force signature that emanated for Obi, but…//The child without the force can not have a force signature.// The boy was alright but the turmoil that enveloped every fiber of his being, made Master Jinn regret some of his words.
Again Master Jinn thought, //It's like there is some kind of force-powered conduit that runs from my force signature to his aura. It has to be because of Obi-Wan's deep connection to my former pad wan, Owen.//
Jinn looked up only for a moment and let his eyes drift to the front door as if he expected to see the little one come through it.
//I should have not called him a thief. Even if he did mean to steal it, the boy has had a very trying last few days. There is not telling why he took it. Maybe just to feel closer to someone he cared about so deeply. That I understand and I have no doubts Obi-Wan cared for Owen maybe more than I. His hurt is deep and the only thing I could think of to say was to call him a little thief. What have I become? Why do I have this need to make sure the boy is perfect? Padawans should be close to perfection in their duty and obligations, in my view but not Obi-Wan, a child with no force to direct him an enhance his abilities.//
########## In the gardens#############
Obi-Wan sat in the garden and tried to think of what he should do. However nothing would come to him, so he thought it best to just stay where he was. He knew he should do his room later but Master Jinn knew where he was if he truly wanted him, he would seek him out here where he was told to go.
Obi-Wan shivered. He wished he owned one of the lush warm-looking robes that the Jedi wore. The air there was cool. The garden was in the temple but the roof only covered the beautiful greenery when necessary from too much rain or temperatures below freezing. It was not below freezing, just cold enough to make one turn to goose bumps with only a short sleeve tunic on.
A noise behind him alerted Obi-Wan that he was no longer alone. He worried that it might be a master or knight demanding to know what a non-Jedi was doing in the gardens.
//Maybe Mr. Qui-Gon didn't tell anyone else about me. Maybe I will get in trouble!! //
The boy stiffened his body and hoped he wouldn't be noticed, but the sound of footsteps grew closer and closer. His unwanted companion was not going away but getting nearer.
"Deep in thought you are. Things go wrong today they did?"
Obi-Wan let out a long sigh as he relaxed his muscles at the sound of the familiar Master Yoda. . His feelings about the little troll of the master had changed abruptly after first meeting him. He instantly felt relief that is was the little green troll of a master.
"Oh hi. Yea Master Yoda. I think this day went as bad as it could and I can't think of anything to make it better."
"If desire there is to talk about it, ready I am to listen. Pass no judgment on you will I. Fair I also will be. ?"
"I am not sure I should. You might make Master Jinn send me away."
"That bad it is? Another chance maybe he will give you. Maybe another chance you deserve from all of us?? Did something wrong did you or think you did? Does not matter both one in the same when misery and melancholy it brings you."
"I am not sure but I know *he* thinks I did something wrong and it has to stay that way."
Yoda knew the identity of the *HE* was his former apprentice Master Qui-Gon Jinn.
"All children not blessed with the force confusing as you they are?"
Obi-Wan smiled meekly and looked up to see understanding eyes to match the reassuring voice. However if Master Yoda thought he was confusing then he should be Obi-Wan and try to decipher Yoda's words. //He's more bewildering than me, or his way of speaking is.//
"I stole something Master Yoda. Well I did but I didn't?"
Yoda walked closer to the little boy, tilted his head to the side and Obi watched with fascination as only one ear twitched signaling his confusion. How does he do that? Obi-Wan however would not yet know that his ear twitches meant total confusion.
"Perplexing this is. More perplexing you seem to be. All those in the family blessed with the force and you have none. Bad it is. For understand you I do not".
Qui-Gon had made his way down to the garden and slipped in its door with the silence of a true Jedi master stalking his enemy. He stood just behind the tree. He was disappointed to see Yoda and quickly raised his shields so his former master would not know he was there, hopefully.
"Talk to Master Jinn you should."
"No I will just leave it as it is. It's better this way. I think he hates me right now so the less I say to him the better."
"Hate? Padawan of mine once he was. Capable of hate he is not. Upset he is, angry he may be, but hate, no my small one, Qui-Gon hate you he does not. One must know hate to express and feel it. No, Master Jinn capable of hate he is not. Capable of misunderstands you more like it I think.".
"Well better not tell him that Master Yoda, cause he might just disagree with you. Is he allowed too?"
There went the twitching of Yoda's ears, both this time.
"Child speak slower and more coherent you should. Qui-Gon allowed to do what?"
"Is he allowed to disagree with you?"
Jinn could not believe what he heard next. A cackling sound came from his former master. Someone had actually made the old troll laugh. To bad it was the boy, that right now Jinn thought if he was capable of hating, Obi-Wan would be the first person he would experience it with.
Guilt washed over him as he watched how gently Yoda handled his ward. In turn Obi-Wan accepted Yoda with ease.
//Not that way with me is it? Although Master Yoda always had a certain connection with the young ones, I as a senior master should have been able to develop a similar understanding with Obi-Wan. I guess I have "foot and mouth disease" again, as Mace likes to call it. I put my foot in my mouth without thinking, without at least waiting to see if the child offered up some explanation of his action. No, not me I had to plunder forward and call him a *thief*. Good job Jinn. Handled that well didn't I?….NOT. //
Something akin to jealousy sparked within the master. Did he wish to connect so easily and purely with the little boy who found no problem whatsoever in sharing his thoughts with Yoda?
His attention was drawn back to the two he stood behind the tree to spy on.
"Try again you should. Talk to your guardian you must. Catch your cold out here you will . Need this time with someone again come to me you will. Between us you talks will stay. Much longer you linger here you will not. Back home for warmth and food you will go."
As was normal for Yoda, as soon as he finished what he felt needed said he walked away without another word .
"Master Yoda, can I ask one more thing?"
"Your *Master* difficult time he will have when deal with you he must?"
"Excuse me Master Yoda, I won't ever have a master. I am not force sensitive."
Yoda placed both hands on top of his gimer stick and raised one eyebrow as his fingers tapped the top of the stick. He squinted his one eye and he stared directly into the face of the pensive-looking child.
"Indeed know that I do. Must be slip of tongue. Yes, say that we will for now. Well,ask your question child. All day in the cold I do not have."
"I know there must be good in Master Jinn because Owen really liked him. He wanted to be home with us sometimes, but he really cared for Qui-Gon."
"Yes, likeable my former padawan can be. Question child, what is it?"
"Well how come I haven't seen any of that kind, likeable person, Owen saw when he looked at his master?"
Another cackle from Yoda.
//Two laughs in one day and the last one was at my expense. A rare occurrence for the old toad.// A blanket of force affection surrounded Master Yoda from his former student as Jinn thought the words but not with a hint of true unkindness in them.
"Kindness there is. In abundance it can be. Affection hard for him to show, but there it is also. All one must do is look to see."
Yoda turned to walk away as if that explained everything.
"But Master…"
Yoda stopped, but did not turn around. He threw his one little hand up to halt the child in mid-sentence.
"Questions, questions, questions! Too many I think and to the wrong person you ask them. Look and you will see. Ask and your questions will be answered. Direct your cocerns to me you should not. Seek Qui-Gon for answers you should for answer them I can not. Qui-Gon it is who knows his own reasons behind indifference of you if there it truly is. Now home with you young man, before I get itchy with my stick!!!"
Another small cackle left Obi-Wan in a little better mood and a small smile on his face. However it left him just as confused not only about Master Jinn's vengeful reactions toward him, but Yoda's strange little speech about all of it.
With that, Yoda turned to leave the boy, to think through what had been said. As he passed the large tree-like bush that Jinn had been hiding behind, he stopped but did not direct his eyes to his former apprentice. He did however speak through the residual tendril of their shared training bond.
Spying unbecoming of you it is. Here what you should or what you wanted? Matter it does. Boy good for you he will be. Again with more tact, deal with the boy. Now though get him out of the cold and stomach filled. Growled hungrily at me it did. Seek advice then to me you come as I have told him the same. Now off with you also my padawan.
Jinn watched incredulously as his former master left him with a boy he could not even begin to figure out.
//I am not blessed with my master's wisdom and patience, never have been, never will. And just what does he mean that Obi-Wan Kenobi "good for me he will be"?? //
Qui-Gon waited, hidden until enough time had passed that Yoda would be safely gone and Obi-Wan would not know Qui-Gon had run into the little master.
Again the boy knew he was not alone. This time it was not that he heard footsteps behind him, he felt them. He knew without a doubt it was his new guardian, handpicked by his aunt.
He did not fear Qui-Gon Jinn, he was hesitant to acknowledge his presence, only out of his own weariness. That overtired feeling he suffered from had exacted its usual place within him and he found that if only he could get warm enough, then slumber would soon follow. His biggest dread stood behind him waiting….. To find rest he had to get through the *hulking* figure directly behind him.
The Qui-Gon that walked up behind Obi-Wan was not the Qui-Gon it should have been.
The Qui-Gon it should have been, intended to walk up to the child, make some kind of peace between them and then escort Obi-Wan calmly and rationally back to the apartment. Things never seemed to happen as planned as the sometimes selfish master would soon learn.
The Qui-Gon that wanted to let there be simple acceptance of the boy, turned to the Qui-Gon who would not let go of what he thought Obi-Wan was guilty of. He was not ready to forgive the child so easily just because….. because as Yoda would tell him Obi-Wan was a mere child?!? No, that was not a good enough reason for Jedi master to release his hold of his displeasure of the child.
The raged-filled Qui-Gon loomed behind Obi-Wan under darkening skies. The small automated service lights that lined the walkways at their edge had not been activated by the setting sun.
Master Jinn's plan of opened mindedness, less intimidation, more understanding and actually reach out to the child as Yoda had, was not followed through with. However when he thought back about Owen's rock and how much it meant to him, rage ripped through the Jedi master again and hard as he tried, he couldn't curb the words that would soon spill from his mouth..
What was once a feeling of sympathy for the boy who spoke so softly and openly with his former master turned to quiet irritation. Jinn reasoned the boy had not spoken the entire truth; certainly didn't tell what he was suppose to have taken.
Master Jinn felt that had Obi-Wan brought up the birthday rock, Yoda would have understood Jinn's actions more clearly. Qui-Gon once had a long conversation with his former master about it and Owen's insistence that it had force powers. Yoda only squinted one eye and told Jinn not to be so certain it did not. Yoda knew Owen well enough to know he would never intentionally lie to his master.
//He never did get around to admitting the truth that he stole something, or what it was. I have to give him credit, he is good at creating deceptions… Obi-Wan's empty words and meaningless explanations pulled every ounce of sympathy he could get from my *sometime* gullible master, especially when it comes to a child. He sees them all through rose colored glasses. I suppose that is why the crèche masters' have to shoo him away from the babes. His ideology that children are just that and can do no wrong, in their young age is egregiously distorted and could result in a deadly outcome.. This one though, Yoda will have to learn quickly not to trust, I have. He is able to transform good into evil with just a few choice words and a sad-eyed expression plastered on his face.. He is a slick one, to be watched. And I plan to be ever on my guard for any of his treachery again.//
Jinn's attention reverted back to the childon the night dampened grass. Obi-Wan could feel Jinn's disdain for him just in the air or something. The child didn't know *how*, but he knew...I am in for it now. He was glad he could not see the blazing angered-filled eyes that languidly glared down at him.
"Do you plan to sit out here on the damp grass until you are sick. Hope to get some sympathy behind you in an attempt to divert my memory of what you did? Come on, last-meal is over but you need to eat. You also need to get a hot bath and warm up. Don't worry I do not plan to discuss this issue with you tonight or ever. I just will be a little more cautious of you and will expect the utmost respect for my rules and for my postion as your guardian from now on. I have a padawan that needs trained and the first day here, I have had to ignore him in order to oversee you."
His body stiffened under the quick and sharp words. There was no reprieve, no request for some palatable explanation, just a sudden onslaught of innuendoes thrown at Obi-Wan, that insinuated he was of tainted by the evil of the dark side and could not be trusted ..
Obi-Wan sat in silence and did not admit or deny anything. He was just glad he hadn't divulged the truth about the rock to Jinn. It would have been more of a reason for Qui-Gon to hate him and he truly didn't need that.
//The only thing I can do is maybe in a couple of days disappear. That would be for the best before Mr. Qui-Gon can tell my aunt about me. She doesn't need the worry with a baby coming and all. Maybe I can hide aboard a transport ship and then sneak off when it lands. It would be the best for Master Jinn and it would save him the trouble of shipping me off somewhere..//
A plausible plan at least in a boy's mind who felt unwanted, was set. All he had to do was survive this evening with Jinn and wait until his chance arose to make his escape.
//If I can just stay out of trouble until then.//
Obi-Wan really wanted to correct the misconception the Jedi master of him, if only to temper the hurt it brought him just thinking Qui-Gon or anyone actually believed he could betray Owen.
It was bad enough for him to think he was directly and singularly responsible for Owen's death.. But it really wouldn't matter now. In a few days, Obi-Wan Kenobi would not have to explain anything to anyone. He would be gone…………..
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Thanx for the feedback so far. I greatly appreciate it and more if I could get it!!!
PEACE ewen
He did feel sadness over leaving the woman he thought of as his second mother, but his stubbornness caused Jinn to give him a very long winded and heated instructions about being graceful in his way of his good-bye to Selena.
Once on their trip back to Courscant, words didn't come to either the master or his little charge sitting beside him. Obi-Wan sat and watched the stars and other planets go by as he traveled. He knew he was getting further and further away from his home and closer and closer to the unknown, the Jedi temple and all the strangers he be thrust amongst to live with.
He reached into his jacket pocket and let his fingers stroke the smoothness of his sacred gift given to him by his //"bestest friend in the world" // the birthday rock. He selfishly wished Owen had told him how the rock had helped him through times of peril for he thought he could use its help now. One lone tear dropped down his cheek and was quickly brushed away so Master Jinn would not see it.
Jinn did not see the tear but he couldn't keep the misery of the little boy from seeping through to his mind. Jinn still thought that after the bond he shared with Owen, evaporated from his mind, Obi's distressed feelings would cease their annoying intrusion of his mind. He still attributed Obi's connection to him to Owen's close and intimate connection to Obi-Wan.
Master Yoda and Master Windu greeted their friend, Qui-Gon when he arrived at the temple. Both wanted to see Qui-Gon, but their curiosity about the child he brought was the leading reason for their greeting him so quickly.
Master Windu shot Jinn a perplexed smile. He had never known Jinn to put himself in such a preposterous situation as to raise a child, helpless without the force. And from what he had seen of the boy, he was sickly, small, and quite possibly more trouble than even Qui-Gon bargained for.
"Well Qui-Gon this will be a new experience for you and I plan to sit back and enjoy every trying minute of it. Your new apprentice will be here first thing in the morning. He has been visiting with his family but once Master Dalia told him that her search to find him a temporary master was over and he found out you, the *great* Jinn, would see to his last year of apprenticeship, he hopped on the next ship to Courscant."
Jinn seemed disappointed. The twenty-three year old, Padawan Tia Da'Neel would not be a problem he thought but he had hoped to have time to get Obi-Wan settled first.. It would not be though. He would have to deal with two at one time, instantly.
Master Yoda had said nothing. Jinn moved over to speak to Mace as Master Yoda literally circled the boy and a couple of times poked his stick toward him.
Obi-Wan was terrified of him. The scrutinized glare of the little master confused the boy. He did not know then Yoda would be his closest ally. Yoda next did something that totally terrified the boy. Enough fear in him that he ran to Jinn. Yoda took his gimer stick and raised the boy's head by placing it up under the chin of Obi's so as to get a good luck.
Master Yoda what are you doing? I imagine he had visions of you hitting him with that thing. Everyone else does around here when you raise it."
At first the boy thought he might certainly be struck with the menacing looking stick stuck right in his face. At best a rude way to get a look at someone he thought as he realized the stick was there to assist Yoda's inspection of and not to kill him. Obi-Wan did tremble as trendril of fear rose within him when he felt the cold end of the gimer stick pressed firmly but ever so gently against the underneath portion of his deeply dimpled chin; his mark of character he could distinctly remember his mother telling him about the *family* dimple. An inherited trait he, along with Owen shared..
It was at that moment he drew closer to Master Jinn. He did not touch him just moved toward him as if to seek shelter from the more threatening little JedI with his weapon, his gimer stick.
"See the boy I needed too. Wise decision you have made. Turn out well this will. Force has foreseen this."
"Sure Master Yoda. The force has put a child with no force with Jinn, what for, his next padawan. Now that Qui-Gon would be a feat even you with your impressive Jedi abilities couldn't do, train a child with no force to be a Jedi."
Windu always tried to be funny but Obi-Wan didn't care for Windu's use for the brunt of his joke
"I don't want to be a Jedi. The only Jedi I ever knew ended up dead. That's what they got from the force and Master Jinn of course, their death."
Obi-Wan felt for his rock in his pocket. He might not know how to use it's power but the warmth that radiated from it seemed to soothe the child and made him feel safer. It made him feel closer to Owen. With that thought, guilt rushed through the displaced little boy.
Owen had loved this Jedi master, put all his faith in him, and in a way died for him. Could Obi-Wan do no less to trust Qui-Gon even half as much as his cousin had put *all* his trust in him?
.//I guess I have to give him a chance. Maybe he has tried to give me one just by bringing me here. . At least I am not in an orphanage somewhere sharing a room with a bunch of other kids like me, that no one wanted. //
"I am sorry Mr. Jinn I did not mean to speak rudely to your friends or you. I guess I am just tired. I have not been on a space craft since my mom died and I was taken to my home…I mean to Owen's home. Now… I am here. I am really tired."
Jinn could see the boy sway with exhaustion, barely able to stay on his feet . His eyes drooped from the desire to sleep
"Yes well let me show you to your room."
Jinn shot his old friend, the bald one a perplexing look., Mace just shrugged.
"How was I to know the kid couldn't take a joke?"
"Enough it is. Scared the boy you have."
Yoda's voice instantly calmed the boy. Even though Master Yoda examined him as if he were under a microscope when he first saw him, Obi-Wan got an instant hunch he would end up being the little master's friend and he would be his.
"Master Yoda with all that circling and staring at Obi, I think you may have scared him too."
"No Mr. Jinn, I am not scared. Well not now anyway…."
"Please Obi call me Master Jinn, Qui-Gon, Master, anything. I am ill accustomsed to being called Mr. It seems out of place."
They continued their walk down the hall and left the other two masters standing there.
"I am sorry Mr.. I mean Master.. I suppose I have doe everything wrong today. Maybe tomorrow will be better."
"Yes may be it will be. I for on one hope so. For both of our sakes."
The trip had sapped most of the energy within the child. His stamina gone, his eyes half lidded with the weight of sleep. Obi-Wan was almost asleep walking. Weariness, slowed his pace to a crawl, but he took Jinn's words as his regret for ever having brought him here.
//He may just send me to the orphanage with the way I have acted and the disappointment in me that he clearly has.//
Once inside Jinn's little home, he motioned Obi-Wan the sleep couch where the boy dropped like a cement brick.
From the kitchen he was barely aware of a voice telling him step by step what they would do after a hot cup of tea. While the tea sounded like a good idea Obi-Wan found that when he sat down his eyelids became even heavier . His only wish was to close them just till Master Jinn came back in with the tea…..
"I had forgotten about my padawan, actually Master Dalia's padawan. We will have to work out the sleeping arrangement; maybe bring in another small bed if it will fit in Owen's room."
Jinn felt a rush of sadness as he realized he would have to allow others in his former apprentice's room. For only a moment he regretted even his dearest friend and cousin Obi-Wan being allowed in to disturb the memories of Owen. Everything in his room had been intentionally left the way it was. Maybe some would call it eccentric but before Jinn had not been willing to let go.
Now though with two new additions to his home he would have too. Maybe, he reasoned, it was for the best to force him to acknowledge Owen would not come back, no matter how long he kept his room for him.
//I am being ridiculous. I can't keep things as they are forever . Life is always changing. I will put Owen's things away tomorrow.//
With two cups of tea in hand, he entered his common room to share tea with the child and then show him to his room quite possibly to rest.
There in the common room on the sleep couch his plans were thwarted by the already fast asleep Obi-Wan. He had fallen over on the couch, asleep.
Jinn went over picked up the two dangling legs of the boy and then took the throw from the back of the sleeper and threw it over Obi-Wan.
He settled himself in his big easy chair just opposite the boy, picked up his tea and studied the sleeping form before him. Although close to the correct age of a beginner padawan Jinn could feel a certain vulnerability about the boy. He was not trained in the crèche, then followed by initiate training. A padawan could heal himself, be extremely independent, even cook for himself if need be..
This would be quite different Jinn realized as he rubbed his forehead. He had never been around a child with no force abilities who would rely explicitly on him for *everything*. Parenthood was a big responsibility, one Jinn was truly hesitant now to take ever how late it was to make such assessment of his mistake of accepting responsibility for the boy.
Obi-Wan's breathing settle to a rhythmic pattern that indicated he had fallen into a deep sleep, sped up by the total exhaustion and mounted apprehension. Qui-Gon noted with a bit of humor that the boy did have one annoying trait he recognized that Obi-Wan shared with his former apprentice, Owen. He snored and not too softly either.
//Selena, my dear dear friend what have I let you talk me into? //
Qui-Gon knew first impressions were sometimes overrated and certainly not always a way to judge a person. He hoped that was the truth because the new padawan had already rubbed the master the wrong way. His indignant attitude toward Obi-Wan sharing his room was an instant clue there might be trouble with Da'Neel even tough Jinn's first inclination was to overlook his outburst earlier that day.
It happened when both boys were in their shared room. Their task should have been an easy and simple one; see to it each had half of the room to call their own. What things of Owen's that had not been put away was to be delicately put in the storage box the Jedi master provided for them and it would be stored away.
The first sign that things might not go as well as Qui-Gon expected them too, were loud shouts of the two coming from their shared bedroom. Jinn promptly responded to those shouts, surprised his new apprentice would allow himself to be drawn into such a childish display as a shouting match.
He would have expected as much from the child, but not from a senior apprentice with only a year to go before knighthood. His new padawan of less than twelve hours and *his* child of two days, were clearly pitted solidly against each other is some sort of disagreement.
"Don't you dare touch them. They belonged to Owen. They belong here now."
"*Belonged* is the key word, Sprout. It is past tense because he is not alive anymore. He has no need of anything left in this room so shut-up you little brat. I won't have my half of the room junked up by some childish little knickknacks of Master Jinn's dead padawan."
Obi-Wan was small for his twelve years and he certainly didn't have the Jedi powers of the practically adult padawan, but it didn't stop him from launching a physical attack on Jinn's brand new padawan. Da'Neel had just tossed one of the space ship models toward Obi-Wan's bed. It missed the bed and fell to the floor. Obi-Wan watched with growing anger as the spaceship exploded in several pieces. They were tossed back up in mid-air and as he watched the splintered ship land, piece by piece back to the floor, his decision was made on what to do.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and became a * human torpedo*. He lowered his head and rammed it right into the unprotected gut of his adversary, his new roommate.
Jinn heard a crunch and a small yell. The much larger and older Da'Neel had his breath knocked out for him and when he landed on the floor he found himself pinned there by the so much smaller body of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He viciously pounded Da'Neel right in the face. Qui-Gon opened the door just as his new padawan used a force induced push. Obi-Wan flew a crossed the room and had Jinn not been there to softened his landing, the boy would have crumpled like a "house of cards".
"Padawan that's enough. What do you think you are doing?"
"Sorry master. I only tried to keep that little one out of my hair. He has insisted on keeping everything I have thrown out."
Qui-Gon reached down and stood Obi-Wan on his feet. What came next was not expected. Obi-Wan headed straight for the apprentice again. This time Jinn was there. He reached out and with just a touch of the force stopped the boy in mid-step. //Quite a comical sight// he thought as he walked over grabbed the tunic just at the nape of Obi's neck and released his force hold on the child. Obi-Wan landed his foot down on the floor anxious to continue his run on Da'Neel when he realized the force no longer had him but Qui-Gon had a tight-grip and would not allow him to take that step he so desperately wanted too.
Qui-Gon continued his hold on Obi-Wan by the collar and is feet dangled a couple of inches from the floor.
"Padawan Da'Neel anything that belonged to my previous padawan is not to be *thrown* away. I left that large plastic container to neatly and I said neatly and safely pack Owen's things . I have a place in my room to store them. I also told Obi-Wan he could keep some of the models out because he enjoys them too. He will keep five, the rest will be packed away. Do you here that Obi-Wan?"
No answer from the little one. a quick jerk to his collar to get his attention and the boy heard Master Jinn more clearly then.
"Yes sir."
"If you choose five now you can interchange them anytime you like, just get permission to go to my room."
Padawan Da'Neel bowed politely and gritted his teeth while his head was down. He had already got in trouble because of that brat of a child he didn't even know would be there. He was so excited to find out he would be trained by Master Jinn the last year of his padawanship and then to come and find the little pest was a disappointment. To make things worse he would have to share a room. He welcomed their first mission, if he ever got to go on one. He wouldn't if Jinn ever found out how really short-tempered and vile he was at times.
"Master, please forgive me. I suppose the stress of my master's illness and the long trip has gotten me emotionally wound. As soon as I have things sorted out and put away I will get my meditation mat out and devote my entire evening after last-meal on a soul searching meditation for inner peace. . //AHH……How's that Master Jinn do I sound repented enough for ya? I will find a way to get back at that little waif of trouble he has dragged in on *us*. Just wait Obi-Wan your time is coming!!! //
Qui-Gon was pleased that his new apprentice excepted his shared blamed in the argument. He thought the young man spoke the truth. Maybe he was under stress and weariness from all the shuffling around he had gone through.
"I don't think I could ask more from you Da'Neel. Obi-Wan will come out with me while you finish what you have too. He can finish his half of the room when your are meditating."
Jinn pulled Obi-Wan with him as he left the boy's bedroom. Still with Obi's collar he not so softly sat him down on the sleep couch in the common room.
"Just what was that all about?"
"Nothing. I……………………."
Obi-Wan could not finish his sentence because of Master Jinn's fury-driven interruption.
"Nothing? you attacked another person. You tried to do bodily harm to my apprentice and you say that is *nothing*. Extraordinary, how a person less blessed than a Jedi can think and reason so irrationally. Doing harm to anyone is not Nothing, Obi-Wan. That is the first lesson that must be learned before you can continue here at the temple Is that understood?"
"I don't think I *tried* to bring harm. I think I was very successful even if he is bigger."
Jinn realized the child had listened to him and had gleaned nothing from the little speech he had just given. He decided to use words that the boy could understand!!!
"He could have broken you into like a twig with his force abilities, had he been as willing as you to harm another. However that is not his way because he is a Jedi and he did not allow your petty goading to get to him."
Obi-Wan assumed a defiant stance; his legs slightly parted, his arms crossed over his chest and a self-satisfied look of appreciation for himself for what he had just done. Jinn could not see an ounce of remorse as the small little person stood there and glared just as testily back at him. He could give what was dished out to him.
"Yea….. well I was counting on his Jedi wisdom, and "do-good" behavior to keep my body from being *broken*."
"I think you are being quite rude and disrespectful, definitely two things not allowed in my home and most importantly in the Jedi temple its self.. Now at last-meal you will apologize to Da'Neel."
"Sure whatever. Like I am really going to apologize for something I enjoyed doing so much. No sir, he will get no apology from me, ever…"
Obi-Wan really didn't like making his guardian angry at him. In fact he feared the big Jedi master but there were certain things he just could not do and apologize to someone who broke, intentionally broke Owen's things was one of them. He also would not stand by and let Jinn's new apprentice belittle his old one. Especially when Jinn's former apprentice was his beloved cousin, Owen.
//Da'Neel has a mouth on him, but he will soon learn he is not going to use it on me or to violate Owen's memory. //
He felt in his pocket of his tunic for Owen's rock. He pulled it out and palmed it in his hand. He needed reassurance more than ever. Just as he tried to conceal it better, it slipped and fell out of his hand to the floor right at Jinn's feet. He had never mentioned his prized gift to anyone, not even Master Jinn.
The main light overhead made the special rock glisten as the light's rays glanced off the river stone.
Qui-Gon quickly bent down and picked up the rock. Confusion filled the master's mind along with painful flash backs of he and Owen's last day at the temple.
"I thought he had lost it during the battle *that* day. He must of have left it here by mistake. His good luck charm and the one time he didn't have it he was killed. He always vowed he never go into battle without it."
A dark sharp look of accusation met the boy's confused one.
"What are you doing with it? I said to put everything in Owen's box that was his. You were only given leave to keep some of his space ship models and this is the thanks I get for being generous with my former apprentice's personal belongings? You have no right to this. If it had been on him…well I know I shouldn't believe in good luck but he felt so strongly that he couldn't fight without it. I shouldn't have rushed him . We were both late and I didn't want to miss the transport for his home visit…"
A deep mournful sigh escaped along with his next expelled breath after he finally managed to take a *next* breath.
Obi was not sure the words were really meant for him or that he should be privy to a conversation he thought was more or less to Jinn's mind and not to anyone around. Jinn just rambled.
He was so upset about Owen not having the rock that Obi's plan to tell him that Owen gave it to him that day, changed. He would have to except punishment for stealing, before he could let the man before him know the truth. *HE*, Obi-Wan Kenboi was the real reason his apprentice died. Owen had not left it home, but instead gave it to Obi to quell his fears, not thinking of his own safety .
Obi-Wan fell silent and dropped his stare to the floor.
Anger whirled around Jinn and he stared the boy. Dangerous anger that had to be fought back just to keep him from exactly his own bodily harm to the child just after stopping Da'Neel from doing it..
"I asked you a question you little thief. What makes you think you can come in my home and steal something very valuable in my apprentice's view and thus its meaning just as valuable to me... He had so much trust in this rock, I am surprised he left it here, but it was not up to you to take it without permission. Had you asked the answer would have been no.. This is the one thing we shared together, his secretbelief that it was force sensitive rock. You have tarnished that sacred memory of it by stealing it for your own petty reason. Astounding, just astounding and you claim to have loved him but yet you have dishonored him by your actions here today."
Obi-Wan had nothing to say in retaliation against Jinn's words. His face burnt with shame, his thoughts of Owen and what he had done by accepting the rock that day flamed just as strongly in his mind.
How could a he know things would turn out so badly just because he accepted a gift? He now blamed himself. Quilt weighed so heavy on the child. He really could care less what happen to him now. His thoughts only lay in getting away from Master Jinn. He would smother if he didn't. Shame and undeniable guilt overwhelmed Obi-Wan as he mentally sought where he could go to get away from all of this now, quickly.
Jinn should have kept the argument and statements about Obi-Wan more private .He really didn't notice when Da'Neel came out but his new apprentice heard everything. It would be very good ammo to use against the little one.
Obi-Wan did not know where to run. In a mouse of a voice Obi-Wan was forced to speak with Master Jinn to find out where he could go to be out of everyone's way. Banishment from his new home and sentenced to being alone in his sorrow and misery would be his punishment and a harsh one it would be.
There would be no solace or sanctuary from the stress of being uprooted from his true home and the thought that he caused Owen's death. It was more than the little boy could handle. He just wanted to run from Jinn and his own memories of that day Owen was killed.
"Where should I go Qui-Gon, sir, I mean to be out of your way?"
Jinn turned on the boy so fast, Obi-stepped back with fear that he planned to strike him. Never had he seen anyone so angry not even his uncle at his angriest at Obi-Wan. Jinn's thoughts ran along the same lines of his ward, he wanted the boy out of his sight as quickly as possible. He did not honor the child with even a glance as he spoke to him.
"There is a small garden at the end of the outside hall to the right. Try there. The further you are away from me right now, the better. Later after I have meditated I will discuss this with you. Hopefully I will be able to gain control of my emotions because for now I have no reign on them whatsoever."
Obi-Wan immediately went to the door. He could not wait to leave the apartment; the one meant to be his home. But didn't homes have love in them *ever*? The air in Jinn's apartment suddenly seemed heavy, too thick to breathe.
Obi fought to get his breath as he made his way to the door to where hopefully on the other side there would be enough air to fill his raw lungs made that way from his erratic breathing.
The boy was dizzy from lack of oxygen. It wasn't that there was no air in there, he was hyperventilating; preventing the air from being inhaled because of the quick little gasps he took to try to remain calm, and not cry in front of the Jedi.
"Oh and Obi-Wan don't ever let me catch you stealing something else. It's bad enough that I have to tell the council that I have brought a proverbial thief in our midst. We could both end up without a place to live if this happens again."
Jinn let his fingers trace a small ridge on one side of the otherwise smooth rock as he watched Obi-Wan turn to leave. He gently turned the rock over and over in his hand for the same reason Obi-Wan had it out in his hand. It brought sweet memories and calm to him.
As soon as the door slammed behind him by Jinn's very hands, Obi-Wan leaned against it still gasping for much needed air.
//I couldn't tell him Owen gave it too me. He might not have believed me. However if he did, he would only blame me for Owen's death and be even angrier with me. Who could deny him? It was my fault.. I took his good luck charm. Owen died because of me.//
Impolitely licking his fingers of any meat juices on them after he had not bothered to use his fork to pick up the Grata bird leg, Padawan Da'Neel next tackled the mashed squash mounded on his plate. He used half the sweetener in the container.
Mounded was a kind word for the amount Da'Neel planned to consume, Jinn thought. Literally *//PILED* on would be a more descriptive word for it.// Although he did not feel like eating last-meal, the Jedi master he felt obligated to sit with his new apprentice and pushed his food around while Tia Da'Neel literally gobbled his down.
He watched the boy. More than watched really, he intently studied every little movement. What his padawan said earlier about meditating seemed, for some reason, out of place. Qui-Gon suspected Da'Neel, ever dutiful padawan, he gave the outward perception of, was not his true persona. He regretted in some ways that he did not share a bond with the boy. He could be thinking anything and Jinn would not know it.
He had never been faced with a padawan that he could not follow his training with constant vigil mentally and as well as physically. Without a bond to at least get a feel for what his thoughts entailed. Jinn could not *feel* if the young man was frustrated, angry, or indeed surrounded by Jedi tranquility as he insinuated he did.
Call it a hunch or a message from the force, but Jinn's instincts told him there was something about this apprentice that was not trustworthy and just maybe he didn't have all that Jedi serenity he displayed to Jinn earlier when he argued with Obi-Wan.
His words to Jinn's ward only lent credit to Qui-Gon's suspicions and he remembered him calling Obi-Wan a brat and he wouldn't have his side of the room cluttered with junk from a dead padawan.
//Not very serenely Jedi or were his words blessed with tact if you think about it.//
As he sat there watching him eat, Jinn realized things might have turned out differently today between he and Obi-Wan had he came to this conclusion about Padawan Tia Da'Neel sooner rather than later.
As Da'Neel ate his second piece of apple pie, Jinn's thoughts left his apprentice to wonder if Obi-Wan was still in the gardens he sent him too..
Did he stay in the gardens? He reached through the force and found he could at least touch slightly Obi-Wan's aura. Jinn first thought it was a force signature that emanated for Obi, but…//The child without the force can not have a force signature.// The boy was alright but the turmoil that enveloped every fiber of his being, made Master Jinn regret some of his words.
Again Master Jinn thought, //It's like there is some kind of force-powered conduit that runs from my force signature to his aura. It has to be because of Obi-Wan's deep connection to my former pad wan, Owen.//
Jinn looked up only for a moment and let his eyes drift to the front door as if he expected to see the little one come through it.
//I should have not called him a thief. Even if he did mean to steal it, the boy has had a very trying last few days. There is not telling why he took it. Maybe just to feel closer to someone he cared about so deeply. That I understand and I have no doubts Obi-Wan cared for Owen maybe more than I. His hurt is deep and the only thing I could think of to say was to call him a little thief. What have I become? Why do I have this need to make sure the boy is perfect? Padawans should be close to perfection in their duty and obligations, in my view but not Obi-Wan, a child with no force to direct him an enhance his abilities.//
########## In the gardens#############
Obi-Wan sat in the garden and tried to think of what he should do. However nothing would come to him, so he thought it best to just stay where he was. He knew he should do his room later but Master Jinn knew where he was if he truly wanted him, he would seek him out here where he was told to go.
Obi-Wan shivered. He wished he owned one of the lush warm-looking robes that the Jedi wore. The air there was cool. The garden was in the temple but the roof only covered the beautiful greenery when necessary from too much rain or temperatures below freezing. It was not below freezing, just cold enough to make one turn to goose bumps with only a short sleeve tunic on.
A noise behind him alerted Obi-Wan that he was no longer alone. He worried that it might be a master or knight demanding to know what a non-Jedi was doing in the gardens.
//Maybe Mr. Qui-Gon didn't tell anyone else about me. Maybe I will get in trouble!! //
The boy stiffened his body and hoped he wouldn't be noticed, but the sound of footsteps grew closer and closer. His unwanted companion was not going away but getting nearer.
"Deep in thought you are. Things go wrong today they did?"
Obi-Wan let out a long sigh as he relaxed his muscles at the sound of the familiar Master Yoda. . His feelings about the little troll of the master had changed abruptly after first meeting him. He instantly felt relief that is was the little green troll of a master.
"Oh hi. Yea Master Yoda. I think this day went as bad as it could and I can't think of anything to make it better."
"If desire there is to talk about it, ready I am to listen. Pass no judgment on you will I. Fair I also will be. ?"
"I am not sure I should. You might make Master Jinn send me away."
"That bad it is? Another chance maybe he will give you. Maybe another chance you deserve from all of us?? Did something wrong did you or think you did? Does not matter both one in the same when misery and melancholy it brings you."
"I am not sure but I know *he* thinks I did something wrong and it has to stay that way."
Yoda knew the identity of the *HE* was his former apprentice Master Qui-Gon Jinn.
"All children not blessed with the force confusing as you they are?"
Obi-Wan smiled meekly and looked up to see understanding eyes to match the reassuring voice. However if Master Yoda thought he was confusing then he should be Obi-Wan and try to decipher Yoda's words. //He's more bewildering than me, or his way of speaking is.//
"I stole something Master Yoda. Well I did but I didn't?"
Yoda walked closer to the little boy, tilted his head to the side and Obi watched with fascination as only one ear twitched signaling his confusion. How does he do that? Obi-Wan however would not yet know that his ear twitches meant total confusion.
"Perplexing this is. More perplexing you seem to be. All those in the family blessed with the force and you have none. Bad it is. For understand you I do not".
Qui-Gon had made his way down to the garden and slipped in its door with the silence of a true Jedi master stalking his enemy. He stood just behind the tree. He was disappointed to see Yoda and quickly raised his shields so his former master would not know he was there, hopefully.
"Talk to Master Jinn you should."
"No I will just leave it as it is. It's better this way. I think he hates me right now so the less I say to him the better."
"Hate? Padawan of mine once he was. Capable of hate he is not. Upset he is, angry he may be, but hate, no my small one, Qui-Gon hate you he does not. One must know hate to express and feel it. No, Master Jinn capable of hate he is not. Capable of misunderstands you more like it I think.".
"Well better not tell him that Master Yoda, cause he might just disagree with you. Is he allowed too?"
There went the twitching of Yoda's ears, both this time.
"Child speak slower and more coherent you should. Qui-Gon allowed to do what?"
"Is he allowed to disagree with you?"
Jinn could not believe what he heard next. A cackling sound came from his former master. Someone had actually made the old troll laugh. To bad it was the boy, that right now Jinn thought if he was capable of hating, Obi-Wan would be the first person he would experience it with.
Guilt washed over him as he watched how gently Yoda handled his ward. In turn Obi-Wan accepted Yoda with ease.
//Not that way with me is it? Although Master Yoda always had a certain connection with the young ones, I as a senior master should have been able to develop a similar understanding with Obi-Wan. I guess I have "foot and mouth disease" again, as Mace likes to call it. I put my foot in my mouth without thinking, without at least waiting to see if the child offered up some explanation of his action. No, not me I had to plunder forward and call him a *thief*. Good job Jinn. Handled that well didn't I?….NOT. //
Something akin to jealousy sparked within the master. Did he wish to connect so easily and purely with the little boy who found no problem whatsoever in sharing his thoughts with Yoda?
His attention was drawn back to the two he stood behind the tree to spy on.
"Try again you should. Talk to your guardian you must. Catch your cold out here you will . Need this time with someone again come to me you will. Between us you talks will stay. Much longer you linger here you will not. Back home for warmth and food you will go."
As was normal for Yoda, as soon as he finished what he felt needed said he walked away without another word .
"Master Yoda, can I ask one more thing?"
"Your *Master* difficult time he will have when deal with you he must?"
"Excuse me Master Yoda, I won't ever have a master. I am not force sensitive."
Yoda placed both hands on top of his gimer stick and raised one eyebrow as his fingers tapped the top of the stick. He squinted his one eye and he stared directly into the face of the pensive-looking child.
"Indeed know that I do. Must be slip of tongue. Yes, say that we will for now. Well,ask your question child. All day in the cold I do not have."
"I know there must be good in Master Jinn because Owen really liked him. He wanted to be home with us sometimes, but he really cared for Qui-Gon."
"Yes, likeable my former padawan can be. Question child, what is it?"
"Well how come I haven't seen any of that kind, likeable person, Owen saw when he looked at his master?"
Another cackle from Yoda.
//Two laughs in one day and the last one was at my expense. A rare occurrence for the old toad.// A blanket of force affection surrounded Master Yoda from his former student as Jinn thought the words but not with a hint of true unkindness in them.
"Kindness there is. In abundance it can be. Affection hard for him to show, but there it is also. All one must do is look to see."
Yoda turned to walk away as if that explained everything.
"But Master…"
Yoda stopped, but did not turn around. He threw his one little hand up to halt the child in mid-sentence.
"Questions, questions, questions! Too many I think and to the wrong person you ask them. Look and you will see. Ask and your questions will be answered. Direct your cocerns to me you should not. Seek Qui-Gon for answers you should for answer them I can not. Qui-Gon it is who knows his own reasons behind indifference of you if there it truly is. Now home with you young man, before I get itchy with my stick!!!"
Another small cackle left Obi-Wan in a little better mood and a small smile on his face. However it left him just as confused not only about Master Jinn's vengeful reactions toward him, but Yoda's strange little speech about all of it.
With that, Yoda turned to leave the boy, to think through what had been said. As he passed the large tree-like bush that Jinn had been hiding behind, he stopped but did not direct his eyes to his former apprentice. He did however speak through the residual tendril of their shared training bond.
Spying unbecoming of you it is. Here what you should or what you wanted? Matter it does. Boy good for you he will be. Again with more tact, deal with the boy. Now though get him out of the cold and stomach filled. Growled hungrily at me it did. Seek advice then to me you come as I have told him the same. Now off with you also my padawan.
Jinn watched incredulously as his former master left him with a boy he could not even begin to figure out.
//I am not blessed with my master's wisdom and patience, never have been, never will. And just what does he mean that Obi-Wan Kenobi "good for me he will be"?? //
Qui-Gon waited, hidden until enough time had passed that Yoda would be safely gone and Obi-Wan would not know Qui-Gon had run into the little master.
Again the boy knew he was not alone. This time it was not that he heard footsteps behind him, he felt them. He knew without a doubt it was his new guardian, handpicked by his aunt.
He did not fear Qui-Gon Jinn, he was hesitant to acknowledge his presence, only out of his own weariness. That overtired feeling he suffered from had exacted its usual place within him and he found that if only he could get warm enough, then slumber would soon follow. His biggest dread stood behind him waiting….. To find rest he had to get through the *hulking* figure directly behind him.
The Qui-Gon that walked up behind Obi-Wan was not the Qui-Gon it should have been.
The Qui-Gon it should have been, intended to walk up to the child, make some kind of peace between them and then escort Obi-Wan calmly and rationally back to the apartment. Things never seemed to happen as planned as the sometimes selfish master would soon learn.
The Qui-Gon that wanted to let there be simple acceptance of the boy, turned to the Qui-Gon who would not let go of what he thought Obi-Wan was guilty of. He was not ready to forgive the child so easily just because….. because as Yoda would tell him Obi-Wan was a mere child?!? No, that was not a good enough reason for Jedi master to release his hold of his displeasure of the child.
The raged-filled Qui-Gon loomed behind Obi-Wan under darkening skies. The small automated service lights that lined the walkways at their edge had not been activated by the setting sun.
Master Jinn's plan of opened mindedness, less intimidation, more understanding and actually reach out to the child as Yoda had, was not followed through with. However when he thought back about Owen's rock and how much it meant to him, rage ripped through the Jedi master again and hard as he tried, he couldn't curb the words that would soon spill from his mouth..
What was once a feeling of sympathy for the boy who spoke so softly and openly with his former master turned to quiet irritation. Jinn reasoned the boy had not spoken the entire truth; certainly didn't tell what he was suppose to have taken.
Master Jinn felt that had Obi-Wan brought up the birthday rock, Yoda would have understood Jinn's actions more clearly. Qui-Gon once had a long conversation with his former master about it and Owen's insistence that it had force powers. Yoda only squinted one eye and told Jinn not to be so certain it did not. Yoda knew Owen well enough to know he would never intentionally lie to his master.
//He never did get around to admitting the truth that he stole something, or what it was. I have to give him credit, he is good at creating deceptions… Obi-Wan's empty words and meaningless explanations pulled every ounce of sympathy he could get from my *sometime* gullible master, especially when it comes to a child. He sees them all through rose colored glasses. I suppose that is why the crèche masters' have to shoo him away from the babes. His ideology that children are just that and can do no wrong, in their young age is egregiously distorted and could result in a deadly outcome.. This one though, Yoda will have to learn quickly not to trust, I have. He is able to transform good into evil with just a few choice words and a sad-eyed expression plastered on his face.. He is a slick one, to be watched. And I plan to be ever on my guard for any of his treachery again.//
Jinn's attention reverted back to the childon the night dampened grass. Obi-Wan could feel Jinn's disdain for him just in the air or something. The child didn't know *how*, but he knew...I am in for it now. He was glad he could not see the blazing angered-filled eyes that languidly glared down at him.
"Do you plan to sit out here on the damp grass until you are sick. Hope to get some sympathy behind you in an attempt to divert my memory of what you did? Come on, last-meal is over but you need to eat. You also need to get a hot bath and warm up. Don't worry I do not plan to discuss this issue with you tonight or ever. I just will be a little more cautious of you and will expect the utmost respect for my rules and for my postion as your guardian from now on. I have a padawan that needs trained and the first day here, I have had to ignore him in order to oversee you."
His body stiffened under the quick and sharp words. There was no reprieve, no request for some palatable explanation, just a sudden onslaught of innuendoes thrown at Obi-Wan, that insinuated he was of tainted by the evil of the dark side and could not be trusted ..
Obi-Wan sat in silence and did not admit or deny anything. He was just glad he hadn't divulged the truth about the rock to Jinn. It would have been more of a reason for Qui-Gon to hate him and he truly didn't need that.
//The only thing I can do is maybe in a couple of days disappear. That would be for the best before Mr. Qui-Gon can tell my aunt about me. She doesn't need the worry with a baby coming and all. Maybe I can hide aboard a transport ship and then sneak off when it lands. It would be the best for Master Jinn and it would save him the trouble of shipping me off somewhere..//
A plausible plan at least in a boy's mind who felt unwanted, was set. All he had to do was survive this evening with Jinn and wait until his chance arose to make his escape.
//If I can just stay out of trouble until then.//
Obi-Wan really wanted to correct the misconception the Jedi master of him, if only to temper the hurt it brought him just thinking Qui-Gon or anyone actually believed he could betray Owen.
It was bad enough for him to think he was directly and singularly responsible for Owen's death.. But it really wouldn't matter now. In a few days, Obi-Wan Kenobi would not have to explain anything to anyone. He would be gone…………..
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Thanx for the feedback so far. I greatly appreciate it and more if I could get it!!!
PEACE ewen