Leon: We're pushing five chapters and we only have three reviews. I could stand to be offended by this.
Forte: Well hey, now that I'm a muse, maybe it's possible...
NO!!! SHUT THE THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!!! Now, on with the disclaimer. Forte?
Forte: ...Okay, using the disclaimer format for my name is NOT funny. Oh well, Shiro does not own Golden Sun, Chrono Trigger, or anything mentioned in this story that he's already disclaimed.
Actually, Forte, I think it's hilarious. Now, for the story!!! *cue Seiken Densetsu Three music*
~***~
Garet: I'm NOT fallin' for it, man.
Felix: *grabs him by his shirt collar and shakes him for a good five minutes* Come ON, Garet!!! Honestly, if you'll do it, I'll not beat you up!!!
Garet: ...You...just...did... *collapses*
Felix: What have I...just done? Have I taken a human life? Why do I not feel remorse? Am I really sentient? Oh well, I'll go ask a human. They understand this 'sentience' business better than I do. (A/N: Givin' credit where credit is due. Thanks Plague!!!)
Isaac: Felix? Garet isn't dead. And what do you mean by, a human?
Felix: NO, MASTER MALIK!!! DON'T SEND ME TO THE SHADOW REALM!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Jenna: ...Felix? What's wrong with you?
Felix: Hello Gentlemen!!! How are you doing!!! *walks over to Agatio with his psynergy fully charged and looking royally hacked off* You have no chance to survive make your time. (A/N: Speech impediment and grammar mistake were intentional for the purpose of making this as close to right as I can remember, although the phrases are out of order)
Saturos: Somebody set us up the bomb!!!
Karst: For great justice, every zig take off one zag.
Isaac: And a short translation for the "faithful" readers...what they are saying is not meant to make any sense, and Felix is acting like a moron because he's snapped under the pressure of knowing that he can't get a new replacement for Agatio so that Jenna won't be able to go out with him. That's about it.
Mia: Isaac...WHY did you just say what was going on, and what readers are you talking about?
Isaac: Oh, poor, foolish Mia, my love, you'd not understand...
Mia: And just WHAT is that supposed to mean?
Ivan: Um...he snapped too?
Mia: Let me go knock some sense into him.
Ivan: No, don't. You see, if somebody has an experience like that, you'll wanna try showing them lots of love, but don't hurt them, or it'll only take them longer to heal.
Isaac: Um...MWE HE HE!!! I AM KEFKA!!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!
Felix: Master Kefka, you're alive!!!
Isaac: Yes, ALIVE!!! MWE HE HE!!!
Mia: And it would HELP to show love to him now?
Ivan: Yes.
Mia: And further his sociopathic tendencies?
Ivan: ...Yes.
Mia: You're a bad doctor. How did you ever get your degree?
Ivan: Online.
Mia: Well THAT makes sense. Okay, fine. Isaac, Ivan says I need to show you lots of love.
Isaac: *whispering to Ivan* Thanks man, I owe you one.
Ivan: *whispering back* I'll hold you to that, yanno?
Mia: Isaac?
Isaac: Coming dear!!! Um...I mean...MWE HE HE!!!
Sheba: What a terrible faker...
Felix: Yeah, but she's eating it right up. Hey Sheba, would you help me wake Garet up?
Sheba: Why do you want him awake?
Felix: So we can convince him to go beat up Agatio and make Jenna fall in love with him.
Sheba: Why not just play the subliminal messaging game?
Felix: How?
Sheba: We'll enter his mind while he's asleep, and then convince his subconscious to beat up Agatio and then get Jenna to fall madly in love with him.
Felix: Okay, I like that one. Let's go.
Sheba: Okay. *grabs Felix's hand and uses mind read on Garet*
Felix: Whoa...it's all pink...and what's with all the lace?
Garet's Subconscious (GSC): Why hello, Felix and Sheba!!! Welcome to my area of the brain!!! Please, sit down!!! Just be careful not to sit on any of the lingerie!!!
Felix: *whispering to Sheba* He's gay, isn't he?
Sheba: *whispering back to Felix* Not totally. His subconscious is, so if he were to be asleep long enough for his subconscious to take over, he might be running around wearing pretty pink dresses with lots of frills. For your reassurance, the regular Garet is more than likely straight.
GSC: Oh guys, I got some pretty new shoes yesterday!!! Wanna see them?
Felix and Sheba: *back away slowly*
GSC: Well, you guys are no fun. Guess you don't wanna see my Victoria's Secret collection either, do you?
Felix and Sheba: *run like they were being chased by Megiddo*
GSC: Okay Ivan, you can come out now.
Ivan: Did you scare them?
GSC: They probably think I'm too gay to go for Jenna, so they won't ask me, and then they can't kill me when I actually do it.
Ivan: Mission accomplished, man. Do you think Mia's missing her stuff yet?
GSC: I hope not. Is she in her room?
Ivan: Nope, Isaac's.
GSC: Okay then, when you pop out of her mind, pop her stuff out into her drawer, okay? I owe you, man.
Ivan: Better remember that one, Garet. *pops out*
GSC: And now to get rid of the rest of these props until I need them again... *snaps fingers* *objects disappear to reveal a room with a comfy chair, lots of snacks and sodas, and a big screen TV with a VCR and tapes of just about every game the Redskins ever played. (A/N: This is in keeping with Triad's idea that Garet's a Redskins freak...unless that's Isaac...)
(back in the real world)
Felix and Sheba: *panting for air*
Garet: Hi guys!!! I had a dream about you...you were sitting on my favourite bra, and then you didn't wanna see my new shoes, and then...
Felix and Sheba: *run FAR away*
Garet: *waits until they're JUST out of earshot, and then bursts out laughing*
Felix: *trying to catch his breath* Okay, new strategy. We stay away from Garet for quite awhile. Hey, Sheba...
Sheba: What?
Felix: You ever thought of Jenna as more than just a friend?
Sheba: Don't make me kill you, Felix.
Felix: Well, it was worth a try...
Sheba: ...Whatever.
Shiro: *from author space* Hmm...Sheba/Jenna...I might do that sometime...
Sheba: Do. Not. Pair. Me. With. Felix's. Sister.
Shiro: Aw, you ruin all my fun. Well, that's the limit of my inspiration for this morning, so...I'm gonna go. No OBHL today either.
~***~
Duran: I have come!!!
Leon: And...who are you again?
Duran: I heard the Seiken Densetsu Three music, so I came.
...Great. I take it you're not leaving, are you?
Duran: Nope.
...I already had FOUR MUSES...now I have FIVE...and it's not even the one I requested!!!
Forte: Who'd you request?
Angela from Seiken Densetsu Three.
Duran: Why her?!
...'Cause she's pretty, I guess...how should I know though? It was three in the morning when I filled out the form...
Magus: Whatever...review.