"Okay," Pierce shook his head as the dazed Radar O'Reilly made his way out
of the office. "I /suppose/ that if I can buy Henry being a vampire, I can
buy Radar as a fairy."
"But where would you keep him?" questioned B.J.
"This is no joking matter, captains," reminded Father Mulcahy solemnly.
"Sounds like a joking matter to me, Padre," Potter calmly spoke, "literally. After all, sounds like all the boy wants to do is play jokes. Granted, it might make the works around here stick a bit, but what's new?"
"I'm afraid it's more serious than that, sir," Mulcahy looked to the floor as he spoke. When he looked up, the other three were waiting patiently for him to continue.
He leaned an elbow on a filing cabinet and hung there thoughtfully, trying to put a flood of ideas into words. "I still believe that there's a connection between what's happened to Henry and what's happened to Radar." He tenatively put forth.
"Because of the time frame? Post hoc ergo propter hoc?" supposed B.J.
"No, not exactly. Well, that's a good bit of evidence, too... but it's more than that-- when Radar said that he'd become a vampire, I don't think he was too far off. He was attempting to deceive us, but I think he was closer to the truth than he'd imagined."
"What are you saying, Father?" Potter demanded.
"I'm saying that there's /something/ Radar needs."
Hawkeye sat up, "What, like blood?" He had good cause to be a little jumpy, after all.
Mulcahy nodded. "Yes, Hawkeye... but, not blood, per se... something like... life. Life, or emotion... I-- I'm sorry, I can't be more specific. But that's-- I think that's the cause behind the jokes. It provokes this... emotional response from people, which he feeds on!"
Mulcahy trembled with exasperation as he railed out these last words; the captains and the colonel looked on impassively. How could they stay so calm at a time like this? "Do you understand what I'm saying?!" he demanded, his eyes wide with panic.
Hawkeye grinned a bit, "Yeah, Father, Radar's become a joke-a-holic."
Mulcahy lifted his hands in frustration.
"I'm SAYING that he's FEEDING on people! Drinking up their very lives! No better than what that Henry creature's doing! Don't you see how serious this is?"
"Father, calm down," Hawkeye snapped, standing up and facing him. "I understand that the church and vampires have never been exactly close, but neither you nor anybody else in this camp has more right to complain about Henry's behavior than I do, at this point, and I'd appreciate it if you'd be a little more respectful."
Mulcahy's jaw set firmly against this rail, but he nodded shortly in aquiescence.
"Fine," Hawkeye continued, more gently, "Now, what do you want us to do about Radar?"
Mulcahy sighed in thought. "For now--" he started, slowly, "I think we need to make sure he's not given the opportunity to... feed... at least, until we figure out exactly what's going on. We saw what happened when Henry finally gave in to the monster that holds him,"
Mulcahy looked up to Hawkeye apologetically. Hawkeye nodded. "So, how do we make sure to keep safe?"
"Well, for one, I'd say-- no jokes."
Mulcahy's prescription was punctuated by a shriek of pain from the next room, and, after a moment of shock, Potter's office was evacuated.
"But where would you keep him?" questioned B.J.
"This is no joking matter, captains," reminded Father Mulcahy solemnly.
"Sounds like a joking matter to me, Padre," Potter calmly spoke, "literally. After all, sounds like all the boy wants to do is play jokes. Granted, it might make the works around here stick a bit, but what's new?"
"I'm afraid it's more serious than that, sir," Mulcahy looked to the floor as he spoke. When he looked up, the other three were waiting patiently for him to continue.
He leaned an elbow on a filing cabinet and hung there thoughtfully, trying to put a flood of ideas into words. "I still believe that there's a connection between what's happened to Henry and what's happened to Radar." He tenatively put forth.
"Because of the time frame? Post hoc ergo propter hoc?" supposed B.J.
"No, not exactly. Well, that's a good bit of evidence, too... but it's more than that-- when Radar said that he'd become a vampire, I don't think he was too far off. He was attempting to deceive us, but I think he was closer to the truth than he'd imagined."
"What are you saying, Father?" Potter demanded.
"I'm saying that there's /something/ Radar needs."
Hawkeye sat up, "What, like blood?" He had good cause to be a little jumpy, after all.
Mulcahy nodded. "Yes, Hawkeye... but, not blood, per se... something like... life. Life, or emotion... I-- I'm sorry, I can't be more specific. But that's-- I think that's the cause behind the jokes. It provokes this... emotional response from people, which he feeds on!"
Mulcahy trembled with exasperation as he railed out these last words; the captains and the colonel looked on impassively. How could they stay so calm at a time like this? "Do you understand what I'm saying?!" he demanded, his eyes wide with panic.
Hawkeye grinned a bit, "Yeah, Father, Radar's become a joke-a-holic."
Mulcahy lifted his hands in frustration.
"I'm SAYING that he's FEEDING on people! Drinking up their very lives! No better than what that Henry creature's doing! Don't you see how serious this is?"
"Father, calm down," Hawkeye snapped, standing up and facing him. "I understand that the church and vampires have never been exactly close, but neither you nor anybody else in this camp has more right to complain about Henry's behavior than I do, at this point, and I'd appreciate it if you'd be a little more respectful."
Mulcahy's jaw set firmly against this rail, but he nodded shortly in aquiescence.
"Fine," Hawkeye continued, more gently, "Now, what do you want us to do about Radar?"
Mulcahy sighed in thought. "For now--" he started, slowly, "I think we need to make sure he's not given the opportunity to... feed... at least, until we figure out exactly what's going on. We saw what happened when Henry finally gave in to the monster that holds him,"
Mulcahy looked up to Hawkeye apologetically. Hawkeye nodded. "So, how do we make sure to keep safe?"
"Well, for one, I'd say-- no jokes."
Mulcahy's prescription was punctuated by a shriek of pain from the next room, and, after a moment of shock, Potter's office was evacuated.