Disclaimer: I do not own J. K. Rowling's world of magic, nor her characters.
A WAY OUT
He had not expected it to become a problem. Not a big one, at least. Sure, he had known right from the start, that there were some people not all too happy with the aims he had been working for. He even knew who some of these people were. But that was not his fault, was it? It was their decision. To ignore all the sings of the way that was going to come. Their decision to fight for the losing side. He wanted to be on the right side when all this was coming to an end. He had to care too much for himself, to waste time on other people!
"Except on those you owe," said a voice in his head. "On the other hand - you surely don't think your time is wasted on them ...
***
... do you?" Roddie asked.
"Nah!" A shy grin appeared on Regulus' lips. "I didn't mean you lot." And then, more seriously he added: "Especially not you. You should know that."
"Oh, I do know it, Kid, but I like you saying it."
"They don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I think they guess something." Of course, Regulus was talking about his parents again. "Bet they welcome it."
Though Roddie did not look at him, Regulus knew he was listening. He always did, even if he seemed not to be. Roddie kept shuffling the deck of cards he always wore in his pocket, now and then playing some tricks. To keep his hands busy, train them, he would say, because one never knew when a fast grip could save one's life or raise one's pleasure.
"Did you say something?" Roddie asked absent-mindedly.
"Of course not!"
"Good. I told you not to. And I want you to do what I say."
Strange silence, Roddie's hands stopped. Then he raised his head, wearing his rogue grin. "That's the best way you learn the rules. I want you to be a good player, Kid. You can tell them later, I bet they can imagine most of it themselves. They will understand. They know the way things go."
"Sure." His words made sense, but that was no news to Regulus. They always did, that was why people liked to listen to him. Because Roddie listened himself. And gave advice that - made sense, there was no other way to put it. It had always been this way, though Regulus had never done that much talk with him when they were in school. No wonder, who did when there were some years between them? Nevertheless, he could not deny that he had had an odd liking for his older brother's friend ever since.
"That's what I meant," he added in a peculiar attempt to please the other. Roddie rewarded him with another smile and started on his cards again. "I know," he just said.
"You're sometimes sorry about Sirius?" Regulus asked suddenly.
Silence again.
"Quite often. Maybe I was the last to give up hope for him, but he made his decision. Well, I'd say the family hopes lie with you, Kid. One more reason not to tell your people now and surprise them later. Bet they'll be proud of their younger lad at least."
Regulus' face beamed with joy. "Yeah. When you gonna take me to one of the greater meetings?"
"When time comes. Patience is a virtue, mind."
He was right. As always. The Death Eaters were his chance, Regulus knew this. He owed them a lot, hadn't his life become much more - simple - since he had contacts with them?
***
Nervously he checked the street to see, if he was followed. No one to be seen. Good. It was ridiculous to be afraid. He had talked with them. Not the boss himself, of course. He was too busy to deal with problems like that himself. He could understand that, yes, he would not have acted different in the other's place. The problem was: His decision did not only end his duty but also his protection. Who knew, if there were any of these aurors around? Not that he was important enough to be followed. But who could know? There might be some chance ...
***
... that I will have to ask you a favour. Hope this is alright with you?"
"Anything you want." Regulus knew the small favours Roddie used to ask him, none of them had ever been a big deal. His job in the Ministry of Magic was one of the most boring he could imagine. But it also gave him the greatest freedom he could ask for. All he came to see the whole day were files, more files, and even more files. Administer them and send them to the departments where they were needed, that was what he had to do. That meant, he had an easy access to every file in the Ministry and Roddie pretty much liked to make an advantage out of this. But why not? If that was the way Regulus could serve the Master - be it. There were worse things. He only copied the needed information and was done with it. What was it to him, what others did with it?
"Which file is it?"
"No file this time."
"Some personal information about anyone?" That also happened now and then. Regulus sometimes asked himself, how Roddie got his stuff before he had him in here.
"No, that neither. It's a kind of ... special service I'd like to ask you for," Lestrange said mysteriously.
"Well ... ok. What is it?"
"Not here. Come to my house, this evening. We'll talk then."
"Alright." Regulus was somewhat perplex. But - Roddie would have his reasons. He always had. Regulus just had to wait and Roddie would tell him. "Tell me in the evening then."
***
He sneaked into the house. Better leave the country sooner than later. He could understand this condition. Perfectly well. It was not that they did not trust him anymore. But what if he was captured by chance, what if something happened, what if ...
***
... it doesn't work?"
"Make sure it does. He's only a muggel, after all."
"Yeah, but why me?" Regulus could not hide his surprise about the favour Roddie asked him for. "I mean, it is not that I seem much qualified for this kind of thing!"
Roddie just smiled. "You wanted it, Kid, didn't you? Play with the big guys. It's because I like you, that I managed you can do it the slow way. But at some time you must start with the tougher stuff. Working for the Lord isn't all about getting some files from the right places. You knew it from the beginning." His brows narrowed. "You did know it, did you?"
He sat in his armchair beside the fireplace, his fingertips pressed against each other. Regulus, right in front of him, suddenly felt nearly stabbed by the sight of the maroon eyes. For the first time ever he felt uneasy to be this close to Lestrange. He looked away.
"Of course I did."
"So you will get rid of him?"
"Sure." Was there a threat in Lestranges voice?
"Good."
He must have been imagining it. When he raised his head again there was only Roddie, charming and loveable as ever.
"Cheer up, there's always a first time and - it is just a little poison. In fact it is the easiest way to do it." He stood up and came over to Regulus, sat on the armrest of his chair and laid his hand on his shoulder. "You only have to give it to him, nothing more. You're the best man for it, Kid. No one has a better possibility to get close to him without any fuss. We count on you and it's really, really important."
"Why?" Regulus asked shyly.
"We don't wanna support blood-traitors, do we?"
"No."
***
He closed the door silently. "Lumos," he whispered to enflame the torches.
***
"What is it that troubles you, Kid?"
Regulus hated it to be addressed like that. His name was neither 'Reggie' nor 'Kid'. Couldn't anyone understand that?
"Pants full 'cos you finally gonna do one of the real big jobs?"
Lestrange smiled at him. "C'mon. It isn't that hard. He's just another of these muggle-loving suckers who think they're chosen to save the world, mind that. And, after all, he has what we need."
Regulus felt uncomfortable by the way Roddie looked at him, though he was not quite sure why. Once, he had liked it. Felt Lestrange was the only one who could understand. But that feeling had changed. It had to be because Roddie had become different. Or had he himself?
"Yeah, sure," he answered.
"So you think you gonna make it?"
"Who else, if not me?"
"That's the way I like you, Kid," Roddie grinned. "I knew, you wouldn't disappoint me. I have a bet running, you know, and I hate to lose."
***
He went to his bedroom to pick up some stuff. He would leave. Everything would be fine. He had been told this, hadn't he? Yes. It was good he told his mind. That's what they'd said. To solve a problem, it had to be spoken about.
***
"I tried to, I really did, but I couldn't. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't." The longer he talked, the quieter his words became. "He's a sucker, but this sucker is still my brother, you can't ask me this."
"Right."
Regulus had expected Lestrange to be angry, to be disappointed or whatever, but not this. He sounded so - soft. So gentle and understanding. He did not blame him or rebuke him. He just listened. And he seemed to understand.
"If this is how the big guys play, I don't know if I want it. I'm not sure, if I want to play that game at all." Roddie's calm reaction in some way encouraged Regulus to speak his mind at last. Roddie would understand. Roddie always did.
"I'm afraid, I don't quite understand."
Regulus gulped. "I ... I mean don't think I'm ... suitable for this. The whole thing, I mean."
Slowly Roddie nodded. "Not suitable ... You have been considering this for a longer time, have you, Kid?"
Regulus said nothing but his silence was answer enough. For a while both of them were quiet. Then, when he could not bear the silence any longer, he whined: "Please, can't you help me to get out of this? You have some influence, can't you do anything?"
Again a slow nodding. "Well, I'll have some little chats and see what I can do. I'm sorry it didn't work out as we hoped. Very sorry indeed, you can't imagine. I'll do my best to get you out of this personally. Kid."
Regulus sighed with relief. Things seemed be a bit better, now that he knew he had an advocate like Roddie. "Thanks," he whispered.
***
"Hey, Kid, I wondered when you would come at last!" a voice shocked Regulus half way to the bedroom.
"Roddie!" he gasped. "I didn't expect you!"
"Of course you didn't. I thought you wouldn't. Nevertheless, I came for a last good bye."
"Well, uh, great that is..." Regulus was not sure what to say. "More then I've expected. After all. But at least I can say ... thank you, once again."
"For what?" Lestrange waved his arm in a no-problem-gesture and flopped down on the couch. Regulus felt he could not deny his saviour the talk he seemed to demand, thus, he sat beside him. He was still nervous, but after all - it was only Roddie. For a moment he watched him play with his wand. Hands always busy, he thought to himself and waited for the other to make a start. But he did not. He just kept playing.
"So, I guess I'm sort of a disappointment after all you did for me."
"Nah, not really. Well, yes, you are. I hoped you could at least handle your bloody conscience this one more time before you get your nervous breakdown. But I didn't really expect you, you know. You never did anything the way you should."
Regulus was not sure, if he had heard right. He waited for the smile to appear on Roddie's lips that would tell him, he was joking. He waited in vain.
"Bit slow, eh?" Lestrange rolled his eyes without looking at him. "I really start asking myself which one of you Black bothers is worse. I had some very interesting chats with your cousin about it. One has the brains, but is a blood traitor, foolish enough to play the hero and trying to fight the inevitable. The other one, and that is you, dear friend, lacks the brains and the guts to do anything but mourning. Yeah, I think you are the worse."
Finally he moved the head to look at Regulus, who sat like stunned, unbelieving what he was hearing.
"Really. I mean, c'mon, you don't really think I got you into our little society, because you had the qualification, do you? You're an even greater idiot than I thought. But even what I wanted you for, spy on your brother to prove you're the better Black, even that you didn't do. Thought you have at least a little ambition. But - nothing."
He ended and turned his attention back to his finger games with the wand.
"That's it?" Regulus asked. His skin had become white while he was listening to all the things he would have preferred not to hear. "I'll get ready then. Good for you, that you made sure I know your mind." His voice shivered. "I'm sorry you lost your bet," he said bitterly and raised from his seat.
Lestrange started laughing, like a mad man. "The bet? Huh, you know what is really funny? I didn't put on you!" With a jump he was on his feet, a vicious gleam in his eyes.
"What ... ?"
"Call it the instinct of the gambler." His wand pointed directly at Regulus.
"You promised!" he whispered in despair. "You promised to get me out of this."
"Yeah, but I never promised you'll get out alive!"
A WAY OUT
He had not expected it to become a problem. Not a big one, at least. Sure, he had known right from the start, that there were some people not all too happy with the aims he had been working for. He even knew who some of these people were. But that was not his fault, was it? It was their decision. To ignore all the sings of the way that was going to come. Their decision to fight for the losing side. He wanted to be on the right side when all this was coming to an end. He had to care too much for himself, to waste time on other people!
"Except on those you owe," said a voice in his head. "On the other hand - you surely don't think your time is wasted on them ...
***
... do you?" Roddie asked.
"Nah!" A shy grin appeared on Regulus' lips. "I didn't mean you lot." And then, more seriously he added: "Especially not you. You should know that."
"Oh, I do know it, Kid, but I like you saying it."
"They don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I think they guess something." Of course, Regulus was talking about his parents again. "Bet they welcome it."
Though Roddie did not look at him, Regulus knew he was listening. He always did, even if he seemed not to be. Roddie kept shuffling the deck of cards he always wore in his pocket, now and then playing some tricks. To keep his hands busy, train them, he would say, because one never knew when a fast grip could save one's life or raise one's pleasure.
"Did you say something?" Roddie asked absent-mindedly.
"Of course not!"
"Good. I told you not to. And I want you to do what I say."
Strange silence, Roddie's hands stopped. Then he raised his head, wearing his rogue grin. "That's the best way you learn the rules. I want you to be a good player, Kid. You can tell them later, I bet they can imagine most of it themselves. They will understand. They know the way things go."
"Sure." His words made sense, but that was no news to Regulus. They always did, that was why people liked to listen to him. Because Roddie listened himself. And gave advice that - made sense, there was no other way to put it. It had always been this way, though Regulus had never done that much talk with him when they were in school. No wonder, who did when there were some years between them? Nevertheless, he could not deny that he had had an odd liking for his older brother's friend ever since.
"That's what I meant," he added in a peculiar attempt to please the other. Roddie rewarded him with another smile and started on his cards again. "I know," he just said.
"You're sometimes sorry about Sirius?" Regulus asked suddenly.
Silence again.
"Quite often. Maybe I was the last to give up hope for him, but he made his decision. Well, I'd say the family hopes lie with you, Kid. One more reason not to tell your people now and surprise them later. Bet they'll be proud of their younger lad at least."
Regulus' face beamed with joy. "Yeah. When you gonna take me to one of the greater meetings?"
"When time comes. Patience is a virtue, mind."
He was right. As always. The Death Eaters were his chance, Regulus knew this. He owed them a lot, hadn't his life become much more - simple - since he had contacts with them?
***
Nervously he checked the street to see, if he was followed. No one to be seen. Good. It was ridiculous to be afraid. He had talked with them. Not the boss himself, of course. He was too busy to deal with problems like that himself. He could understand that, yes, he would not have acted different in the other's place. The problem was: His decision did not only end his duty but also his protection. Who knew, if there were any of these aurors around? Not that he was important enough to be followed. But who could know? There might be some chance ...
***
... that I will have to ask you a favour. Hope this is alright with you?"
"Anything you want." Regulus knew the small favours Roddie used to ask him, none of them had ever been a big deal. His job in the Ministry of Magic was one of the most boring he could imagine. But it also gave him the greatest freedom he could ask for. All he came to see the whole day were files, more files, and even more files. Administer them and send them to the departments where they were needed, that was what he had to do. That meant, he had an easy access to every file in the Ministry and Roddie pretty much liked to make an advantage out of this. But why not? If that was the way Regulus could serve the Master - be it. There were worse things. He only copied the needed information and was done with it. What was it to him, what others did with it?
"Which file is it?"
"No file this time."
"Some personal information about anyone?" That also happened now and then. Regulus sometimes asked himself, how Roddie got his stuff before he had him in here.
"No, that neither. It's a kind of ... special service I'd like to ask you for," Lestrange said mysteriously.
"Well ... ok. What is it?"
"Not here. Come to my house, this evening. We'll talk then."
"Alright." Regulus was somewhat perplex. But - Roddie would have his reasons. He always had. Regulus just had to wait and Roddie would tell him. "Tell me in the evening then."
***
He sneaked into the house. Better leave the country sooner than later. He could understand this condition. Perfectly well. It was not that they did not trust him anymore. But what if he was captured by chance, what if something happened, what if ...
***
... it doesn't work?"
"Make sure it does. He's only a muggel, after all."
"Yeah, but why me?" Regulus could not hide his surprise about the favour Roddie asked him for. "I mean, it is not that I seem much qualified for this kind of thing!"
Roddie just smiled. "You wanted it, Kid, didn't you? Play with the big guys. It's because I like you, that I managed you can do it the slow way. But at some time you must start with the tougher stuff. Working for the Lord isn't all about getting some files from the right places. You knew it from the beginning." His brows narrowed. "You did know it, did you?"
He sat in his armchair beside the fireplace, his fingertips pressed against each other. Regulus, right in front of him, suddenly felt nearly stabbed by the sight of the maroon eyes. For the first time ever he felt uneasy to be this close to Lestrange. He looked away.
"Of course I did."
"So you will get rid of him?"
"Sure." Was there a threat in Lestranges voice?
"Good."
He must have been imagining it. When he raised his head again there was only Roddie, charming and loveable as ever.
"Cheer up, there's always a first time and - it is just a little poison. In fact it is the easiest way to do it." He stood up and came over to Regulus, sat on the armrest of his chair and laid his hand on his shoulder. "You only have to give it to him, nothing more. You're the best man for it, Kid. No one has a better possibility to get close to him without any fuss. We count on you and it's really, really important."
"Why?" Regulus asked shyly.
"We don't wanna support blood-traitors, do we?"
"No."
***
He closed the door silently. "Lumos," he whispered to enflame the torches.
***
"What is it that troubles you, Kid?"
Regulus hated it to be addressed like that. His name was neither 'Reggie' nor 'Kid'. Couldn't anyone understand that?
"Pants full 'cos you finally gonna do one of the real big jobs?"
Lestrange smiled at him. "C'mon. It isn't that hard. He's just another of these muggle-loving suckers who think they're chosen to save the world, mind that. And, after all, he has what we need."
Regulus felt uncomfortable by the way Roddie looked at him, though he was not quite sure why. Once, he had liked it. Felt Lestrange was the only one who could understand. But that feeling had changed. It had to be because Roddie had become different. Or had he himself?
"Yeah, sure," he answered.
"So you think you gonna make it?"
"Who else, if not me?"
"That's the way I like you, Kid," Roddie grinned. "I knew, you wouldn't disappoint me. I have a bet running, you know, and I hate to lose."
***
He went to his bedroom to pick up some stuff. He would leave. Everything would be fine. He had been told this, hadn't he? Yes. It was good he told his mind. That's what they'd said. To solve a problem, it had to be spoken about.
***
"I tried to, I really did, but I couldn't. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't." The longer he talked, the quieter his words became. "He's a sucker, but this sucker is still my brother, you can't ask me this."
"Right."
Regulus had expected Lestrange to be angry, to be disappointed or whatever, but not this. He sounded so - soft. So gentle and understanding. He did not blame him or rebuke him. He just listened. And he seemed to understand.
"If this is how the big guys play, I don't know if I want it. I'm not sure, if I want to play that game at all." Roddie's calm reaction in some way encouraged Regulus to speak his mind at last. Roddie would understand. Roddie always did.
"I'm afraid, I don't quite understand."
Regulus gulped. "I ... I mean don't think I'm ... suitable for this. The whole thing, I mean."
Slowly Roddie nodded. "Not suitable ... You have been considering this for a longer time, have you, Kid?"
Regulus said nothing but his silence was answer enough. For a while both of them were quiet. Then, when he could not bear the silence any longer, he whined: "Please, can't you help me to get out of this? You have some influence, can't you do anything?"
Again a slow nodding. "Well, I'll have some little chats and see what I can do. I'm sorry it didn't work out as we hoped. Very sorry indeed, you can't imagine. I'll do my best to get you out of this personally. Kid."
Regulus sighed with relief. Things seemed be a bit better, now that he knew he had an advocate like Roddie. "Thanks," he whispered.
***
"Hey, Kid, I wondered when you would come at last!" a voice shocked Regulus half way to the bedroom.
"Roddie!" he gasped. "I didn't expect you!"
"Of course you didn't. I thought you wouldn't. Nevertheless, I came for a last good bye."
"Well, uh, great that is..." Regulus was not sure what to say. "More then I've expected. After all. But at least I can say ... thank you, once again."
"For what?" Lestrange waved his arm in a no-problem-gesture and flopped down on the couch. Regulus felt he could not deny his saviour the talk he seemed to demand, thus, he sat beside him. He was still nervous, but after all - it was only Roddie. For a moment he watched him play with his wand. Hands always busy, he thought to himself and waited for the other to make a start. But he did not. He just kept playing.
"So, I guess I'm sort of a disappointment after all you did for me."
"Nah, not really. Well, yes, you are. I hoped you could at least handle your bloody conscience this one more time before you get your nervous breakdown. But I didn't really expect you, you know. You never did anything the way you should."
Regulus was not sure, if he had heard right. He waited for the smile to appear on Roddie's lips that would tell him, he was joking. He waited in vain.
"Bit slow, eh?" Lestrange rolled his eyes without looking at him. "I really start asking myself which one of you Black bothers is worse. I had some very interesting chats with your cousin about it. One has the brains, but is a blood traitor, foolish enough to play the hero and trying to fight the inevitable. The other one, and that is you, dear friend, lacks the brains and the guts to do anything but mourning. Yeah, I think you are the worse."
Finally he moved the head to look at Regulus, who sat like stunned, unbelieving what he was hearing.
"Really. I mean, c'mon, you don't really think I got you into our little society, because you had the qualification, do you? You're an even greater idiot than I thought. But even what I wanted you for, spy on your brother to prove you're the better Black, even that you didn't do. Thought you have at least a little ambition. But - nothing."
He ended and turned his attention back to his finger games with the wand.
"That's it?" Regulus asked. His skin had become white while he was listening to all the things he would have preferred not to hear. "I'll get ready then. Good for you, that you made sure I know your mind." His voice shivered. "I'm sorry you lost your bet," he said bitterly and raised from his seat.
Lestrange started laughing, like a mad man. "The bet? Huh, you know what is really funny? I didn't put on you!" With a jump he was on his feet, a vicious gleam in his eyes.
"What ... ?"
"Call it the instinct of the gambler." His wand pointed directly at Regulus.
"You promised!" he whispered in despair. "You promised to get me out of this."
"Yeah, but I never promised you'll get out alive!"