CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: RUPERT

Thursday: 10am

31st January 1999

California: Sunnydale

Buffy crept into the living room of the apartment, her heart racing quickly.  She was nervous, though she couldn't give an exact reason as to why.  She shut the door quietly behind her and scanned the room, thankful that Travers was nowhere in sight.

She took the stairs slowly, her body still sore, though she could fele her healing beginning to come back to her.  She could feel her strength slowly returning to her body, and she was grateful for it.

She slowly walked towards Giles' bedroom, opening the door softly.  She wasn't prepared to see Giles sitting on the small window seat, staring into the daylight.

"Giles?" she whispered.

He turned to look at her, and she was startled to see tears in his eyes.  He looked back to the window and wiped at his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, unable to look at her.

She walked further into the room and stood behind him, glancing out the window to see if he was looking at anything in particular.  All she could see was the roof of the house next door.  She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay," she whispered.

"Is it?" he asked, finally turning to her properly.  "I stuck a needle into your arm.  I poisoned you for…for them."

Buffy swallowed and reminded herself that she'd forgiven him.  She was still a little angry, still confused and hurt, but within herself, she knew that she needed to trust him.  She had told herself that she would trust him with everything that she had, and she would honour that decision that she had made long ago.

"I betrayed you Beth.  To a man that tried to destroy your life," Giles whispered miserably.  "How can you possibly forgive me?"

"Because I still trust you," she replied softly.

"How can you?  After what I did?"

"Because I made a promise to myself that I would trust you with everything, no matter what happened.  And I won't break that promise unless you tell me that I shouldn't trust you again," Buffy explained.

"You shouldn't," he told her sadly.  "You shouldn't have to trust someone who broke your trust."

"Will you do it again?" Buffy asked.

"No!"

"Then I trust you," she replied simply.

A tear slid down his cheek and spilled onto his shirt.

"I have never fully understood you Beth Summers," he admitted.  "And I wonder if I ever shall."

"I thought men liked that in a woman," Buffy replied with a smile.

Giles nodded and gave a small laugh, even as the tears continued to fall.

"They do luv," he replied.

"I wanna tell you that you've been like a dad to me, but…Ethan and Tim have filled that spot.  I don't know where you fit into my life, but…you're always there, and I don't want that to change.  You're my Watcher.  And I couldn't be a Slayer without you.  I wouldn't want to.  You've kept me sane and alive and I wouldn't have come this far without you," she told him.  "You were the first man I trusted besides Ethan after what happened before I was Called.  I trust you with my life, even now."

Giles swallowed hard and forced himself to stand up.  He was a good head taller than her, and he saw that she still met his eyes, not looking in the least intimidated by him.  He knew it was wrong to test what she was saying, but he clenched his fist and brought his hand up as though to strike her.  She never even flinched, only meeting his eyes.

He uncurled his hand and brought it to touch her cheek.  Finally giving into temptation, he pulled her towards him and engulfed her in a hug.

"Forgive me Buffy?" he whispered.

"I forgive you Rupert."

*sniff* Sorry…yeah, I've been watching Flooded, so…the whole cheek touching thing just gets me every time.  I'm having trouble keeping this non-shippy fic non B/G.  It's HARD!  *grins*  Not to worry, it isn't B/G.  S'all good.  Hope you're still enjoying!

Anyone interested in reading the B/G alternates.  Cos if you are, either tell me via review or email and I'll post em.  But if no one is interested, I won't bother.

Toodles.

K.