A/N: Alright, I know this doesn't go with Canon, but screw canon. If you wanna read, please do^^ I kind of came up with a plot that's in the making but not especially sure. Please make some comments!! Also, It's supposed to get angsty later on, so hold tight cuz this is my second fic and first angsty one!!
Life Without Fire By Chikadee PotterSummary: He loves her, she loves him not. But not all things are as black and white as life makes them out to be , and as Lily is forced to confront evil beyond her wildest imagination, she learns that there are some lessons that have to be taught the slow way, especially when they're about love...or death.
"….I assure you, someday, we'll meet."
Lily finished her up her signature in it's usual flourish and carefully folded up her monogrammed parchment, sealing it with her special purple wax. Stamping down the molten liquid, Lily fanned the wax dry and called softly to her owl.
"Athena."
The beautiful snowy white owl with silvery grey eyes hooted and held out a slender talon.
"Take this to James Potter."
Athena hooted again and flapped her perfect wings as Lily pushed open her window, the wind blowing calmly into the well-lit bedroom. Athena flew off into the clear night sky as Lily watched until the snowy owl was no more and then wandered off to the other side of her room.
Lily took her finely embossed silver brush and brought it up to her fiery crimson hair. Her nimble fingers gently detangled the clip that was holding her hair up, from the tiny knots in her long locks. Releasing the clip, Lily's silky red hair came tumbling down past her shoulders, past the upper part of her back and finally resting down where her hips were. Next, lily opened up a glinting crystal jar and began to dab spots of lotion on her smooth porcelain-like skin. Glancing in the mirror, Lily looked at her placid reflection and began to smooth the lotion around her chin, around her dimpled cheeks, around her fine nose, around her full lips and finally around her startling jade green eyes.
Lily cursed at her dreaded freckles that lightly sprinkled her cheeks. There was no use getting rid of them.
Untying her blue satin robe, Lily slipped it off revealing a comfortable set of cotton pajamas: top and bottom perfectly patterned with angel wings. The antique style of the set of sleepwear gave off an antique and elegant aura as Lily smiled and smoothed down the wrinkles.
A knock on the door issued Lily to swiftly walk over to her bed and climb into it. Moments later, a tall weary man with dark red hair and cinnamon brown eyes walked in slowly, putting the canopy drapes into place around his daughter's bed.
Lily stared at him innocently as he smiled at her, lines of stress, age and worry crinkling by his eyes and mouth, and kissed her in one fluid motion on the forehead. Pulling up the light lavender covers to Lily's chin, he brushed the hair out of her face and smiled in a sad way.
"Good night, darling." Mr. Evans said softly.
"Good night, Papa." Lily gently closed her beautiful jade eyes as her father once more kissed her, rose and walked back to the door, still in his business suit from the day.
Mr. Evans turned off the light and closed the heavy wooden door, tears springing into his old experienced eyes as his very own daughter was wearing the very set of pajamas his wife once wore. The wife whom he had loved with his very heart and soul and being; she was gone and the very existence of his two daughters were left in her memory. Mr. Evans walked down the hall to another set of doors and knocked on it, entering the room of Petunia Evans.
Lily's eyes flew open as soon as she heard her father's steps slowly fade and kicked off her spread. Stumbling slightly back to the window, she awaited her owl with the reply of the boy who had totally captivated her interest.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
James lay on his large bed, in nothing but his navy pajama bottoms and a white undershirt. His mother and father were probably in their room by now so there was nothing to worry about. He didn't care.
He sat up, and strided over to where his window opened up to connect with a marble balcony, overlooking the Potter Garden. James pushed open the latch and walked out, letting the wind caress his messy raven hair and nip at his clothing. The crescent moon was shining brightly as deep purple clouds covered the cobalt sky.
There, in the far distance, was the object of his impatience. The white snowy beast that could only be described as: Athena. James' heart jolted as he reached out for the beautiful owl to grip onto his arm. She obliged to his actions and landed gratefully on his shoulder.
"Letter for me?" James smiled as she hooted and nipped at his ear affectionately. "Well then, off you go."
Athena hooted again and took off, back into the sky. James eagerly ripped the seal and opened up the parchment to reveal the perfect cursive writing.
Dear James,
I never managed to ask you the other day, why you hate chocolate frogs? Other than that, I have no questions about your abnormality. Oh, James you know I'm joking, but you do seem kind of mysterious. Perhaps there's more to you than the horny jokester that you seem to radiate. Yes, I did read the tiny letters you left underneath my name. Merlin! You don't even know what I look like! And I know you're going to ask me anyway, so I might as well make it a bit easier for you. Red hair, green eyes. You already know my name, what more is there to know? And honestly? No. You may not have my bra size and pant size. I could slap you and you know it. Anyway, in the future, I look forward to actually seeing you in person. I'm sure you're every bit as….handsome… as you've told me. I assure you, someday we'll meet.
Love, Lily.
James laughed at the girl he was so captivated with and walked back into his bedroom. She was fiery, atleast her writing was. But people tended to show their true colors through their writing, anyway. It had been about a year ago when he had met this so called "Lily." When James had sent out a whole bunch of letters to Sirius, Remus and Peter, his owl had gotten confused somehow and managed to land Sirius' letter with a lady called Lily. Miko had returned with a snowy white owl at his wing and given him the letter that he had written to Sirius and a new one. A new letter from a certain girl named Lily.
At first, James didn't pay any attention to her letter, but his curiosity overpowered his senses and without even realizing it, James had taken up Lily's letter and read it. His reaction had been amused, for she had never heard of him and was addressing him as Mr. Potter.
Mr. Potter reminded him of his dad.
She seemed very friendly and extremely intelligent; someone who he could get along with nicely, so he replied. It wasn't long until he realized that this Lily wasn't just some good girl. She did have a temper, not a mean one mind you, but a temper that could leave you stunned. She had obviously analyzed his letter and wrote back saying he was a perverted, womanizing gentleman; complete with all her reasons from that one letter.
James smiled again. He just loved to get her riled up. He took up his quill and dipped it into the shining midnight ink, starting up another letter.
A knock issued at his door and James hurriedly hid the parchment and blew out the candle.
"James?" A soft voice spoke out and a crack emitting a sliver of light from the hall outside, lit into the darkness of his bedroom.
"Yes Mum?" James mumbled, pretending to be half awake.
"Oh, well than. Good night." His mother walked over and kissed him on the cheek, running her hands fondly through her son's messy hair and walked back to the door to close it shut.
"Good night, Mum." James smirked and lit up a candle, again, to write his letter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She was flying….and flying….the clouds soaring past her as she put speed on that beautiful gold broom of hers. The birds couldn't keep up with her. It was only the sun as the limit. She twirled, did leaps and felt the wind whip furiously through her hair. Oh beautiful glory. Flying was absolute heaven. She looked back and grinned as the man in back of her put up more speed onto his new broom and managed to catch up with her.
He laughed as he slowly caught up and put his strong arms around her. Lily was in bliss…..if only she knew who this dream man of hers was….
BAM.
Lily woke up startled as she heard the familiar curse of Petunia, making a racket in the joining bathroom of theirs.
"Damn, Petunia." Lily called. "Keep it down, will you?"
" Bite me, freak." Petunia shot back venomously.
Lily sighed as she sat up and raked a hand through her hair. She stretched her arms over her head, yawning and blinking sleep out of her eyes. What had she been dreaming about? Had she been dreaming? Lily had stopped remembering her dreams about a year ago. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. No dreams when sleeping? Lily shrugged and trudged to her chair where she put on her robe and walked to the bathroom down the hall. Petunia obviously needed it more than she did.
Lily pulled on some baggy jeans and a pink T-shirt as she combed her hair and put it neatly in a ponytail. No makeup was needed, what for?! Lily pulled on some socks, brushed her pearly whites, washed her face again and trudged down the stairs. She entered the sunny room where her father was munching on toast and reading the news.
"Papa," Lily said casually. " I need to go to Diagon Alley today. School is starting soon and I haven't gotten my supplies."
Mr. Evans froze and he brought the newspaper away from his face. " Diagon Alley? I'm sure that's fine. Do you need someone to go with you? I can ask Petunia to go with you."
Lily rolled her eyes but smiled warmly at her father's protectiveness. "Father, I'm 16. I'm going to be a 6th year. I'm pretty sure I can handle this."
Mr. Evans smiled and nodded, returning to his newspaper. Petunia chose to march into the room wearing shorts and a blue tube top. She was extremely tall and extremely thin with a long neck and thin blond hair. While she wasn't attractive, she wasn't too ugly.
"Papa, I'm going to go out with some friends today. You know one of them, Vernon? The gorgeous fellow I was telling you about? He's going to be there." Petunia grabbed a banana from the counter and reached for the keys on the wall.
"Mmmhmm." Mr. Evans mumbled, evidently engrossed at the stock market.
"good, than it's settled." Petunia smiled haughtily, not even acknowledging Lily and began to eat.
Lily rolled her eyes again. She'd have to walk. Again. Not that she minded, Lily walked everywhere basically. This was no different. Mr. Evans finished his juice, kissed each of the girls on the head and put on his blazer, ready for another tiring day at the Company.
"Have fun, girls. Be safe!" He called as he grabbed his keys from the wall and went out the door. Petunia chortled and left as well, leaving Lily to pick at the cereal she had poured.
She hated being at home. Ever since her mother had died giving birth to Lily, her father had always been sad. It wasn't that Papa forgot about Lily, infact, Lily knew it wasn't that. But she knew that everyone missed her mother. Petunia had known her for about 5 years until Lily was born and she had been too weary. From the pictures that Lily sometimes tried to stealthily look at, her mother was extremely happy with the same green eyes that Lily had, but with full beautiful gold hair. Quite unlike Petunia's own. Lily, sadly, had never known her mother.
Sighing, Lily got up and dumped the cereal into the trash can for it was extremely mushy and washed her hands. Picking up her purse from the couch, Lily locked the doors and went out the door, ready to walk into downtown.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
James was bored, horribly bored. Blah. It was no matter, he'd call up Gretchen in the afternoon. He'd watch a movie with her and then maybe….maybe he could even fit in a snog session. Hmm. That wasn't such a bad idea. On second thought, he'd rather be with Remus and Sirius anyway. Gretchen could wait.
James jumped up from his couch, wearing a pair of stylish faded jeans and a black collared shirt, which he didn't tuck in, or button all the way up. Jamming his wand into his pocket, he slid down the stairs and glided into the parler, crouching down near the fireplace where he took a hold of glittering powder and through it into the large opening.
"MUM! DAD!" He shouted on the top of his lungs, letting the sound vibrate around the house. "I'm going to Sirius'!!" There was no reply but he assumed that they had heard and jumped into the brilliant green fire.
The twisting, tunneling and winding passage of flames connected to each fireplace ended all too soon for James' liking for he loved these heart-pumping rides, and he landed feet first into the hard stone floor of the home of Sirius Black.
"Sirius!" James called and walked into a different room.
"James!" Sirius drawled lazily as his voice drifted from the parlor to the large room where James was standing.
"Hey mate." Sirius stood up and gave a brotherly hug to James who noticed Remus sprawled out comfortably on a couch next to his.
" Padfoot!" James heartily hugged him back and slapped Remus on the back.
"Moony!" Remus smiled and stood up to hug James. "How are you feeling?"
" Full moon in 2 weeks. I'm pretty safe." Remus grinned and sat back down.
"Sit." Sirius commanded and propped his feet up onto the crystal coffee table. James plopped down on the plump scarlet couches before him and ran a hand through his already-messy hair.
"Have you gotten your things for Hogwarts yet?" James asked, lounging comfortably, his white sneakers hanging off the side of the couch.
"Nope," Sirius grinned and actually looked sheepish. " I'm a---"
"Procrastinator." Remus interrupted, not looking up from his book.
James laughed and replied, "Neither have I, let's go."
Sirius nodded over to where Remus sat, engrossed in his new DADA book. "But, Remus has already gone."
James craned his neck to see the title of the book. "Is that one of the new ones?"
"Yeah," Remus looked up and closed his book. "I'll go with you guys. C'mon. Don't wait anymore."
Sirius shrugged as James got up and straightened out his clothes, waiting for Sirius to get up as well.
"I'm coming!" Sirius flung his feet back down on the stone floor and followed Remus and James out.
"Where's Peter?" James asked curiously. "We never see him anymore."
"That rat?" Sirius snickered. "Something about his mum. Hey did you hear? Remus made prefect again. Poor guy."
"Shut it Padfoot."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily strolled around the busy street, watching in fascination at the new styles of wizarding clothing and passing excited children. It had been so long since she had finally visited this place. Hogwarts was her home and she longed to be back in its secretive mazes and corridors. She longed to chatter with her Ravenclaw friends and friendly ghosts while listening to Professor Flitwick squeak enthusiastically about Charms.
So far, Lily had gotten her ingredients for Potions, her books for the year; ah yes. She needed a new set of robes. She was now 5'4'' and the robes that had lasted her for 5 years were to be given up for new ones. Lily shifted the heavy bag that she carried and walked into the busy store where Madame Malkin was clothing new students.
"Tall….Very tall. He has that wonderful black hair and he's very built. You know it's him….even when he's far away."
Lily couldn't help but crane her neck and tilted her head to the side to listen to the juicy bit of information that the girls waiting behind her, were sharing.
"Amelie, He's two years older than you. What makes you think he'll go after you. I'm pretty sure I'd be a better match. I am a 5th year after all."
Lily smiled to herself. No doubt, they were talking about---
"Sirius Black!"
Lily turned around and saw a grinning Sirius Black walking into the shop followed by Remus Lupin. Remus' sharp blue eyes met straight away with Lily's and he walked over to her, all 6'2'' of him.
"Remus!!" Lily grinned and dropped her bags on the floor. "You've grown!" She reached up and hugged him, on her tip toes as he reached down to envelope her into a warm hug.
" And you, miss Lily, are short as ever." Remus chuckled as Lily pulled away to slap him in the chest.
"How have you been?" Lily said softly as she looked up at him, meaning the double meaning of the question.
"Pretty good, not until another two weeks." Remus smiled confidently at her, but Lily could still see bits of fatigue in his clear blue eyes. Remus and Lily had known each other for an extremely long time. Since childhood, in fact. They had gone to the same weekly prep school when they were younger and that was where Lily's friendship with Remus, and even Sirius, had developed over the 5 years.
Sirius had stopped talking to the group of giggly girls who had said hi to him and strided over to Remus' side, leaning in to hug Lily as well.
"Gosh, Sirius!" Lily's eyebrows rose in disbelief. " What on earth have you and Remus been doing?! You've grown so tall!"
Indeed, Sirius had grown to be 6'4'', a whole foot taller than Lily. He grinned as Lily had to practically jump up and put her arms around his broad shoulders. The girls surrounding the two extremely tall and handsome guys, suddenly quieted to their usual chatter while sneaking glances at the glowing redhead who was talking animatedly with two of the most popular guys in Hogwarts.
"I've been playing quidditch, you know. Working out." Sirius grinned and rested an arm on Lily's shoulder. She promptly scowled and shoved him gently.
"You don't have to rub it in. You too Remus, stop laughing." Lily pretended to pout but smiled anyways.
"Anyway, Sirius just had to pick up his robes because his mother ordered for him early. We'd best be going." Remus pushed aside his long golden bangs and gave Lily a final smile. "We have to go meet James at Ollivanders, too. He accidentally dented his wand."
Sirius and Remus chuckled and waved at Lily. "See you at Hogwarts!"
The tall silhouette figures against the sun flowing into the shop, strided toward the doors, waving at several girls who said their greetings and promptly left the crowded shop. Lily sat for awhile, until the seamstress called her up to the stool and started measuring.
"James Potter…" Lily mumbled, evidently in thought. Oh yes! That was the guy who she had been writing to the whole entire time. Lily knew that he was good friends with Sirius and Remus because they were in the same house. She had yet to meet him, and she had to say that she was a bit excited. There were those girls in Ravenclaw who said he was extremely adorable. With messy raven hair, sparkling hazel eyes and thin glasses, Lily also knew he was a bit on the thin side, but just as tall as Sirius.
While Lily had been sorted into Ravenclaw, Sirius and Remus had gone to Gryffindor. Although they didn't see each other as much as she'd like, Lily still kept in touch with her friends. They had often mentioned James and she really didn't want to butt in on their business because they seemed close enough as it was. And that stupid Peter person; Lily disliked him simply because he always seemed to just tag along. It was despicable. Anyway, Lily awoke up from her reverie and stepped down the podium as Madame Malkin wrapped up her robes and handed it to her carefully.
"Congratulations, Lily darling. Prefect again this year."
The kind old woman smiled warmly at her and waved goodbye as Lily paid her galleons. Lily smiled shyly and waved goodbye. She stepped outside the shop, breathing in the fresh air that had been confined from the shop. Lily was bit shy. She had several friends, but really didn't speak much. As everyone knew, she was in Ravenclaw and really did like to read books. Finally, being the only redhead with green eyes, Lily had an extremely sweet personality and was usually very mild tempered unless you really got her riled up. Younger girls looked up to her and guys enjoyed actually holding a conversation with her. You just had to break through her shy barrier first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
James was waiting impatiently outside of Ollivander's for his two best friends. Now would not be the time to be late, he thought to himself. They had to go to the new Quidditch shop that had opened last week. According to Frank Longbottom, the store was absolutely stock full of important Quidditch objects and James was itching to run into the store.
His eyes lit up as he saw the familiar silhouette of Remus and then followed by Sirius. Now that James had a bit more time to look at them, Remus seemed a bit tired, but nevertheless in good health. His golden blond hair was growing out a bit, getting a bit long. But Sirius seemed to be sporting the long look as well. Sirius' long dark brown locks fell down stylishly in a casual sort of elegance and his bangs brushed just over his dark alluring eyes. Grinning as usual, Sirius waved at James and looked both ways before lazily walking across the street.
"Are we going to the store now?" Sirius stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
"Yeah, what took you guys so long?" James raised an eyebrow and running a hand through his messy black hair.
"Oh, we met up with Lily." Remus said simply and started walking.
James blinked twice and caught up with Remus. "Lily? As in Lily Evans?"
"Yeah, Lily." Sirius said, smirking and looking at James queerly. "Why?"
"I talk to her sometimes." James shrugged. "Through owl."
"How do you know her?" Remus asked.
"Well, for starters. How do you guys know her?" James grinned. "I know her because my owl accidentally returned with her owl. It was this whole mess. What about you?"
"Oh, we went to the same prep school long time ago. You know the one where Remus and I had to spend the Sundays studying?" Sirius crinkled his nose. The girls who were gazing at him from the side of the streets, were evidently not noticed.
"Yeah, I remember." James nodded.
"Yeah, well we've known Lily for a long time."
"Ah, I see." James smirked suddenly. " Is she hot?"
"James!" Remus chuckled at gave him a punch on the shoulder. "Is that all you care about?"
"No," James replied defensively. "I already know what she's like. We're going to meet soon."
"Is she going to be one of your next conquests?" Sirius said slyly, raising an eyebrow.
"Whatever Padfoot." James grinned.
"Well then," Remus pondered thoughtfully.
"Yes, Well then." Sirius echoed, mockingly and then holding his hands up at a Remus who was rolling his eyes. "Lily's…Lily's…..not bad I guess. I don't really know. She's pretty, but than again, I wouldn't date her."
"Yeah, you know Padfoot." Remus elbowed James. " He likes his girls ditzy."
"You make it seem like such a bad thing." Sirius protested.
"Anyways," Remus continued as if he hadn't heard anything. " Lily has red hair. It's really long now. You'd probably recognize her from anywhere. There's not many red-haired, green-eyed girls around."
"I know all that…" James said. "Is she like those pretty girls in Hufflepuff? I know she's in Ravenclaw. Some Ravenclaw girls are hot."
Remus rolled his eyes again as Sirius high fived James. "She's 5'4'' and she's relatively slender. I think. She's not fat, but she's not skinny. She's just normal. She has a bit of a shy side, but since you know her already, you probably won't see it."
James shrugged, he just thought this girl seemed really interesting, not a conquest. But she seemed really likeable.
"I think Prongs has a crush!" Sirius whispered loudly to Remus. "Otherwise, why does he want to know so much about her."
"Don't be silly, Padfoot." Remus chortled, equally whispering loudly. " Prongs likes every female on the planet. Just one at a time…"
"Shut up." James grabbed Sirius round the head and gave him a noogie. Sirius grinned and tried to kick him as Remus held open the large glass door with the fluttering gold snitches as handles.