"Going Under"
By: Sesen ObsidianMoon
Site: http://www.lizzieandgordo.cjb.net
Journal: http://www.blurty.com/users/me221
eMAIL: Lalaine_rawks@yahoo.com
Distribution: Sure, just ask me first
Feedback: Yes, please! Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Or any of the characters mentioned. Nor do I own the song "Going Under". That belongs to Evanescence.
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Kendra had called 911. My mom drove me to the hospital. It was a school day, but she let me take the day off. I was sitting in the waiting room, hoping for good news. If Marco died... I took a deep breath, and it hit me: I really care about Marco. The way his chocolate eyes looked at everyone at once. The way he did his hair, the way he walked... and then I realized. I'm in love with Marco Del Rossi. And he could die today.
[Now I will tell you what I've done for you/Fifty thousand tears I've cried]
Now I regret having made fun of Marco for being gay. I tried to tell him a million times I was joking and didn't mean it, but he wouldn't even listen to me.
[Screaming, decieving, and bleeding for you/And you still won't hear me]
I wish Marco could just let me know what I can do to make it better... to make him listen to me. Or maybe to just tell him that he isn't alone, that I'm here for him, and I want to be with him. The nurse interrupted my thoughts.
"You can go back there now." I nodded, and began the walk down the long, white corridor. I hate hospitals...
[Going under]
I arrived at his door, and knocked. "Come in." Marco sounded exhausted. When I walked in, he looked at me angrily. "Get out."
[Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself/Maybe I'll wake up for once]
"Marco, you need to listen to me-"
"GET. OUT." I stood in the doorway, Marco's eyes shooting daggers my way.
[Not tormented daily defetated by you/Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom]
"No! Dammit, Marco, you need me."
He looked away from me. "I don't need anyone."
[I'm dying again]
"You may not need me, but I need you."
[I'm going under/Drowning in you]
He didn't even look back at me, he just kept staring at the window.
[I'm falling forever]
"Why?"
"What?"
I sighed, and then looked at him. I noticed that his whole right arm was covered in bandages. It was his left that his father had hurt. "Why did you do this?! I thought you were okay, you TOLD me you were okay. I thought you could count on me, I thought... I thought you felt like you could trust me."
[I've got to break through/I'm going under]
Marco looked at me. "Spin, I don't know anything anymore."
[Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies/So I don't know what's real and what's not]
I sank into the chair next to his cot, and looked at him. "You can trust me, Marco."
"My dad just tried to kill me. I don't know if I can trust anyone."
[Always confusing the thoughts in my head/So I can't trust myself anymore]
"Look, I know you won't listen to me, but try, okay?" I took in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say it. "I know that you have no real reason to trust me. But when you needed me, I went. So I think you at least owe me something."
"Fine. Next time I'll just let my dad kill me. It'd save me the trouble of doing it myself."
[I'm dying again]
"We all die. But you shouldn't die this young. Not if you don't have to. Marco, you have stuff to live for. You have me, and Ellie, and Jimmy, and Craig, and Sean... you have people, Marco."
[I'm going under/Drowning in you]
"I just feel so empty. You know how you core an apple? You just dig out the middle. If you look at that apple from most people's perspective, it still looks perfect. You'd have no idea if it was empty. That's how I am. People would have never guessed that I died."
[I'm falling forever/I've got to break through]
"Marco, please, just let me help you. I want you to be okay-"
"You couldn't care less." He looked at the windowsill, his eyes downcast and away from me.
"Dammit, Marco!!! You ARE important to me!"
[So go on and screm/Scream at me I'm so far away]
"Spin, you said a while ago that you didn't know what you'd do if one of your friends was gay. Well, I am."
I finally sat. Marco was gay... but, what if he didn't feel that way about me? "Marco... I don't know how to put this, so if it doesn't make sense, give me a break." I took a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm gay. I mean, I'm not attracted to guys, but I am attracted to certain ones. The really special ones. As a matter of fact, there is only one. I think you know him. His name is Marco Del Rossi?"
He turned, and began saying something, but I took advantage of this angle, and kissed him.
[I won't be broken again/I've got to breathe I can't keep going under]
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~Fin.
I origianally wanted this to be a one-chapter songfic, but the song fits better in this chapter. So the first part was just an into. And this also originally was part of my fic, "Becoming", but I didn't like it like that. "Becoming" should be updated soon. Sesen.
By: Sesen ObsidianMoon
Site: http://www.lizzieandgordo.cjb.net
Journal: http://www.blurty.com/users/me221
eMAIL: Lalaine_rawks@yahoo.com
Distribution: Sure, just ask me first
Feedback: Yes, please! Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Or any of the characters mentioned. Nor do I own the song "Going Under". That belongs to Evanescence.
==========================================
==========================================
Kendra had called 911. My mom drove me to the hospital. It was a school day, but she let me take the day off. I was sitting in the waiting room, hoping for good news. If Marco died... I took a deep breath, and it hit me: I really care about Marco. The way his chocolate eyes looked at everyone at once. The way he did his hair, the way he walked... and then I realized. I'm in love with Marco Del Rossi. And he could die today.
[Now I will tell you what I've done for you/Fifty thousand tears I've cried]
Now I regret having made fun of Marco for being gay. I tried to tell him a million times I was joking and didn't mean it, but he wouldn't even listen to me.
[Screaming, decieving, and bleeding for you/And you still won't hear me]
I wish Marco could just let me know what I can do to make it better... to make him listen to me. Or maybe to just tell him that he isn't alone, that I'm here for him, and I want to be with him. The nurse interrupted my thoughts.
"You can go back there now." I nodded, and began the walk down the long, white corridor. I hate hospitals...
[Going under]
I arrived at his door, and knocked. "Come in." Marco sounded exhausted. When I walked in, he looked at me angrily. "Get out."
[Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself/Maybe I'll wake up for once]
"Marco, you need to listen to me-"
"GET. OUT." I stood in the doorway, Marco's eyes shooting daggers my way.
[Not tormented daily defetated by you/Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom]
"No! Dammit, Marco, you need me."
He looked away from me. "I don't need anyone."
[I'm dying again]
"You may not need me, but I need you."
[I'm going under/Drowning in you]
He didn't even look back at me, he just kept staring at the window.
[I'm falling forever]
"Why?"
"What?"
I sighed, and then looked at him. I noticed that his whole right arm was covered in bandages. It was his left that his father had hurt. "Why did you do this?! I thought you were okay, you TOLD me you were okay. I thought you could count on me, I thought... I thought you felt like you could trust me."
[I've got to break through/I'm going under]
Marco looked at me. "Spin, I don't know anything anymore."
[Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies/So I don't know what's real and what's not]
I sank into the chair next to his cot, and looked at him. "You can trust me, Marco."
"My dad just tried to kill me. I don't know if I can trust anyone."
[Always confusing the thoughts in my head/So I can't trust myself anymore]
"Look, I know you won't listen to me, but try, okay?" I took in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say it. "I know that you have no real reason to trust me. But when you needed me, I went. So I think you at least owe me something."
"Fine. Next time I'll just let my dad kill me. It'd save me the trouble of doing it myself."
[I'm dying again]
"We all die. But you shouldn't die this young. Not if you don't have to. Marco, you have stuff to live for. You have me, and Ellie, and Jimmy, and Craig, and Sean... you have people, Marco."
[I'm going under/Drowning in you]
"I just feel so empty. You know how you core an apple? You just dig out the middle. If you look at that apple from most people's perspective, it still looks perfect. You'd have no idea if it was empty. That's how I am. People would have never guessed that I died."
[I'm falling forever/I've got to break through]
"Marco, please, just let me help you. I want you to be okay-"
"You couldn't care less." He looked at the windowsill, his eyes downcast and away from me.
"Dammit, Marco!!! You ARE important to me!"
[So go on and screm/Scream at me I'm so far away]
"Spin, you said a while ago that you didn't know what you'd do if one of your friends was gay. Well, I am."
I finally sat. Marco was gay... but, what if he didn't feel that way about me? "Marco... I don't know how to put this, so if it doesn't make sense, give me a break." I took a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm gay. I mean, I'm not attracted to guys, but I am attracted to certain ones. The really special ones. As a matter of fact, there is only one. I think you know him. His name is Marco Del Rossi?"
He turned, and began saying something, but I took advantage of this angle, and kissed him.
[I won't be broken again/I've got to breathe I can't keep going under]
=================
~Fin.
I origianally wanted this to be a one-chapter songfic, but the song fits better in this chapter. So the first part was just an into. And this also originally was part of my fic, "Becoming", but I didn't like it like that. "Becoming" should be updated soon. Sesen.