Disclaimer: They're not mine. You knew that.

My Angel is a Dragon, My Devil is a Snake

-Catspook

Chapter 3: Nightmares

It was noon before Draco managed to drag himself up to the Great Hall. He scowled menacingly when he spotted the Dream Team at, of all places, the Slytherin table. They were chatting with Valini. Potter was leaning heavily against the tanned boy, looking exhausted.

"... I do love him, but, *honestly*, he doesn't sleep! All summer, he kept me up past two in the morning. And trying to find time to do homework...it was practically impossible!" Potter whined.

Granger frowned, "Well, that's unacceptable. He's a *professor*; he should know better."

"Oh, come on," Weasley rolled his eyes, "Sirius was just having fun, 'Mione. It's not all about studying, you know."

Valini frowned thoughtfully, "Studying aside, Love, you need to get more sleep. You've got to tell him when it's too much."

"Yeah," Potter mumbled into Valini's shoulder.

Draco figured that was as good a time as any to make his entrance. "What are *you* doing at our table?"

"They're my guests," Valini replied, matter-of-factly.

"That can't be allowed," Draco sneered.

"Yes it is; I made a point of asking professor Dumbledore last year. You can sit at another house's table if you're someone's guest."

Draco frowned, but sat - far away from them - without comment. He scowled darkly as he helped himself to some breakfast (or was it lunch?) and strained to hear every word they said. He was rather vexed, therefore, when Millicent came lumbering in and sat in between him and the intruders. He glared at her, and she bowed her head shyly. She moved to get back up, but he made a subtle negating motion with is hand; if she moved it would attract the Gryffindorks' attention.

Amazingly, she deciphered his signal and settled back down, sending him a confused look. Unlike Crabbe and Goyle, however, she had the good sense to keep her mouth shut and otherwise act as if nothing was out of the ordinary; the Dream Team continued chatting, oblivious to Draco's eavesdropping. Millicent kept glancing at Draco all throughout the meal, but did not speak to him. Draco tried to decide what his next move should be with her; would it be better to be subtle or straightforward?

Draco was distracted from these thoughts, however, when Hades came soaring into the Great Hall with not only a letter, but a sizable package as well. Draco pushed his plate aside and greeted Hades affectionately, feeding him bits of bacon. Draco removed the letter and package, careful not to appear too eager. He didn't want people to know how much he missed his father; they would only use it to mock him.

The letter was shorter than Draco had expected, carefully crafted to not give anything important away, should anyone have had the gall to glance at it over Draco's shoulder.

Draco,

I hope you had a restful night. I'm glad to hear that you are looking into making some new friends; Miss Bulstrode may prove invaluable to you in the future. I've sent you some sweets. Share them as you like, but I made a point of including chocolate frogs; I know they are your favorite. Study hard, and contact me if any problems arise.

~Father

Draco frowned at the chocolate frog comment; he did like chocolate frogs, but he didn't like being told what to eat. He also pouted a bit when he saw that Lucius hadn't signed the letter 'love', but then he realized that he was being childish. He knew his father loved him; only babies had to be reminded of it all the time.

Draco opened the package efficiently, glad for the chance to gloat to Weasley. He smirked at the redhead as he tore into a chocolate frog, but nearly choked on the candy when he saw what card he'd gotten.

Bartimus Crouch jr. - 'Barty' Crouch jr. is distinguished as the first wizard ever on record to escape from Azkaban prison. Convicted of being a Death Eater... Draco didn't bother reading the rest.

He felt sick, his hands were trembling, and if there hadn't been so many people around he would have screamed. The photo of Crouch was of a face that Draco didn't know (he had always appeared as 'Mad Eye' Moody to Draco), but he was grinning at Draco in a feral way that the boy recognized all too well. The dark wizard winked at Draco lecherously, and Draco dropped the card, shaking with terror. Draco grabbed his letter and package and practically bolted out of the Great Hall.

He remembered to grab the card at the last second, unwilling to let others see who had the power to scare him so - he was sure that everyone in the Great Hall had been staring at him and knew exactly what he had been feeling. When he got back to the Slytherin common room, Draco tossed the card into the ever-present fire, and watched it burn with a grim satisfaction. He then sat on the couch and systematically opened every chocolate frog box his father had sent, looking for any more cards of Crouch. There were none. Badly shaken, Draco returned to his dorm, tossed the package into his trunk and climbed back into bed. He yanked the bed curtains shut and grabbed the stuffed panther, huddling under the blankets with it. He refused to cry.

O~O~O~O~O

Lucius was exhausted. He had fallen asleep at dawn, only to suffer a nightmare of Abraxas so distressing that he activated the chill charms on the stuffed dragon. He had been too terrified to try to sleep more, and instead had busied himself crafting a reply to Draco's note. He'd then ventured down to the kitchens looking for sweets to send with the letter.

He could have ordered Dibby to do it, but Lucius now had nothing but time on his hands. Besides, it was amusing watching the kitchen elves tremble at their master's unexpected presence. Pathetic things, really, Lucius had every right to despise them.

With the letter and package sent (not too early; Draco needed his sleep) Lucius once again had nothing to occupy him. He forced himself to eat a light lunch. He really hadn't felt like it - he'd been feeling ill ever since he left King's Cross- but while he knew that one or two skipped meals would not matter, Draco would notice if Lucius lost a significant amount of weight. Draco did not deserve to be burdened with Lucius' problems on top of his own, and Lucius needed to set an example.

After lunch, Lucius was still too frightened to attempt to sleep. It was pathetic of him, he knew, to fear his own bed, but self-disgust did not outweigh the terror today. Lucius disappeared into his office. He attempted to practice some chess, but halfway through the game he forgot which set he was using and started snarling English instructions at the very confused French pieces. Frustrated, Lucius slapped the pieces onto the floor and collapsed against the back of his leather desk chair. He missed Draco desperately.

O~O~O~O~O

Draco returned to the Great Hall for dinner, steadfastly ignoring the buzz of gossip that sprang up as he entered. He glared at Valini when the tanned boy asked if he was all right. No one else made the inquiry.

Draco sat next to Millicent again, but made a point of not looking directly at her; he was too embarrassed. Fleeing the Great Hall like that had been very stupid, but having a panic attack in front of the whole school would have been worse. Millicent did not try to talk to Draco, which Draco truly appreciated.

Dinner was once again a somber affair, the only significant amount of friendly chatter coming from, as expected, Valini and the Dream Team. Several others joined in, including a couple of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Draco tried his best to ignore them, but it was difficult when he was positive that every whispered joke, every laugh shared by the motley crew was at his expense.

Draco wanted to leave as soon as possible and get away from everyone, but he had to find out when the next prefect meeting was. As odious as the task was, Draco forced himself to saunter up the Gryffindor table and demand of Valini, "Is there a prefects meeting tonight?"

"Yeah. Eight o'clock in the prefects lounge. You know where that is?"

"Of course."

Draco spun on his heel and marched out of the hall, sneering when Valini mockingly called out, "You're welcome!"

By the time he reached the Slytherin dorms, Draco had decided that the best way to pass the time before the meeting (and to avoid talking to anyone) was to write a long letter to his father. Lucius had asked him to write twice a week after all; he might as well do it now when it wouldn't interfere with his homework.

Draco dug out some parchment and a quill and stretched out on his bed, trying to think of what to write. Finally, he decided to just be honest and tell his father everything he was feeling. Lucius had demonstrated time and again over the spring and summer that he was always willing to listen to Draco, no matter how trivial seemed.

Dear Father,

Thank you for the sweets. They've added some new cards to the chocolate frogs, did you know? They made one for Crouch jr. because he was the first person to escape from Azkaban. I thought that was in poor taste. I burned the card.

I miss you. Thank you again for the panther. Valini has the most disgusting, ragged teddy bear on his bed so I think it's safe for him to see me with the panther. I bet Potter has a stuffed lion on his bed; he probably suggested that Valini sleep with a teddy.

The Gryffindors are annoying as usual, and even more popular than ever. Everyone will be carrying teddies around with them soon. There are only two Slytherin first years so far this year. Xavier follows Valini around like that little Weasley did Potter second year. Maybe she'll send Valini a valentine to rival the 'his eyes are as green as pickled toad' song. He's smoother than Potter, though; he'll probably just shrug it off. He may be annoying, but there has to be some reason why Valini's in Slytherin.

Pygmalion seems all right. I'm lonely. I think Millicent could be a nice friend to have but I'm finding it difficult to speak to her. I always happen to see her when I'm not in the mood to talk, and she just backs off and doesn't try to talk to me. Not like you; you always push me to talk when something's wrong. I know I probably act like I hate it, but at least I know that you really want to hear it.

How do I know if I'm just burdening her with my own problems? With Crabbe and Goyle it was easy; they couldn't be burdened with problems they don't understand, which is just about all problems besides dinner, but I think Millicent is actually quite sensitive. I think she's lonely too.

I wonder how many more Slytherins are going to show up next week. I bet even more of them transferred out after the attack on the train; I'm sure that the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs will find some way to blame us for that. Never mind that you took out more Death Eaters than anyone. I know that this letter is rambling; I'm just writing down whatever comes into my head. I know you'll listen.

Are you all right? What are you doing now that you're not going to work anymore? I've asked you before and you never seem to know; that's not like you. Are you bored? I'm kind of bored right now, but that will change after classes start, I'm sure. Even without quidditch, I'm sure I'll be busy. I need to go to a prefects' meeting now. I'll write you again in a few days.

love,

Draco

Draco didn't bother to reread the letter before he folded it up. He no longer felt compelled to screen every communication with his father; he trusted Lucius more than that now. Besides, he was in a hurry; if he left now he could get to the owlery and send the letter before the meeting.

O~O~O~O~O

Lucius jerked awake in his desk chair, without any memory of falling asleep. He was sure that he had been awakened by a nightmare about Abraxas, but the details were already fading, not that they really mattered much anyway.

The ill feeling that had plagued Lucius since the train station had only intensified during his nap. Come to think of it, that may have been what had wakened him. Lucius heaved himself out of his chair and staggered to the nearest bathroom as quickly as he could. He immediately dropped to his knees and vomited into the toilet. There wasn't much inside him to lose, but the dry heaves continued for what felt like hours. When they finally stopped, it felt like he had pulled a dozen muscles in his side, and he was shaking with chills. Lucius washed out his mouth with water from the sink and collapsed against the side of the marble bathtub.

Lucius did not know if he had the strength to make it back to his bedroom, not that he particularly deserved to be comfortable. With no one to intervene either way, Lucius gave up the struggle and lay down on bathroom floor. The cool, marble tiles against his cheek and hands were both soothing and painful at the same time. He did not bother contemplating how this could be.

Lucius didn't know why he felt so ill all of a sudden. He was hardly ever sick after Abraxas ' death, though he had often been ill before that. Lucius hoped that Draco hadn't taken ill; his health was fragile enough as it was, and it would be a lousy way to start the school year. Draco did not deserve that after all he had been through.

Lucius lay on the floor of the bathroom for what felt like hours, but it was hard to tell through the dizzying fog in his mind. After some time, Dibby timidly entered the bathroom and asked, "Is Master Lucius sir alright, sir?"

"That's none of your bloody business you insignificant slime," Lucius slurred, "Get out of here! Leave me alone!"

"Yeses, Master Lucius, sir," Dibby whimpered and disappeared.

Lucius utterly loathed house elves; his house elves in particular. They were whining, simpering things, useless in any critical situation. They could never go against orders, never think for themselves. The only house elf Lucius had ever heard of who had had the courage to go against his master's wishes was Dobby, and thus Lucius had grown hate him both the most and the least of any house elf.

Partially to spite Dibby (though he could not explain exactly how it would do so) Lucius pushed himself to his hands and knees. He tried to stand, but the wave of nausea that hit him was so intense that he was forced to crawl to his bedchambers. Well, it wasn't the first time, now was it? At least he knew Abraxas would not be following him this time, screaming insults and abuse, striking and cursing him for no particular reason except that Lucius was there and helpless and young and...

Lucius didn't realize he'd begun to cry until hot tears splashed into his trembling hand. When had everything gotten so out of control? By the time he reached the door to his bedroom, Lucius ached all over. He pushed open the door clumsily and dragged himself over the threshold. He kicked the door shut, and only made it halfway to the bed before his strength gave out completely.

Lucius collapsed onto his side and curled up into a tight ball. The thick, white carpet was far more comfortable than the bathroom tiles, but Lucius was barely aware of it. The feeling of sickness in his stomach, combined with the emotional pain he was in, had completely incapacitated him.

It occurred to him that he might die here. If not for Draco, Lucius would have welcomed an end to this pain. Well, if he couldn't let go of his life, he could let go of everything else. What was the point of keeping up appearances anymore? What was the point in trying to pretend that he was in control when he wasn't? There was no one there; Lucius was completely, utterly alone. No one knew, no one cared, what happened to Lucius in this house.

Lucius drew in a deep, ragged breath, then screamed as long and as loud as he could. When he'd expelled the last bit of air from his lungs, he panted wetly until he'd recovered enough to scream again. He screamed until his throat burned. He screamed until he was so light headed that he couldn't even feel the pain in his body or focus on the pain in his heart. When he couldn't scream anymore, he cried until oblivion overtook him.

O~O~O~O~O

The prefects' meeting was turning out to be worse than useless. Draco and Valini, and two other mudbloods were the only Slytherins there, and everyone seemed much more interested in how people had spent their summer holidays than the topics they were supposed to be discussing.

All except Granger, that is, who was acting so self important she was annoying everybody, especially Draco. "We're supposed to discuss when the first Hogsmeade weekend should be," Granger huffed. She was ignored.

Getting fed up with the chatter, Draco leaned back casually and drawled, "If you all are done gossiping, could we possibly be out of here before midnight?"

"Got a date, Malfoy?" Valini purred.

"What business is it of yours?" Draco snapped.

Valini shrugged, "None, just curious; you don't have to take it so personal. Besides, I *do* have a date, so I'd like to get out of here sooner rather than later as well." Valini leered at Potter, who looked scandalized.

Draco narrowed his eyes at Valini; for the life of him he could not figure out Valini's motives. He *seemed* sincere, but there had to be a reason he was sorted into Slytherin, and he had been so quiet and unassuming until recently. Yes, Draco would definitely have to keep an eye on Valini in the future.

O~O~O~O~O

When Lucius regained consciousness it was past midnight. He nearly panicked, thinking at first that Abraxas had locked him in the dungeons again, but then he realized that he was lying on a soft carpet and not hard stone.

"Lumos," Lucius croaked, and the candles in his bedchambers sprang to life. He still felt ill, but he thought he might be able to stand. Slowly, he rose to his knees and then stood, stumbling to the bathroom; he very much wanted to take a long, warm bath.

Lucius started the taps, undressing clumsily; his fingers didn't seem to be working properly. Finally, the last of his clothes fell to the floor, and he sat heavily on the side of the tub. He slid into the warm, soapy water and leaned back, closing his eyes. But almost instantly, they snapped open again as Lucius heard an unexpected creaking. He knew damn well that it was very unlikely to be anything other than the old house settling, but he couldn't quell the terror brewing in the pit of his stomach.

Loathe to call the house elves, he fumbled about for his wand and summoned the wizarding wireless from the bedroom. He set it on the side of the tub and switched it on, not caring what was being broadcast, only that he could fill this silence up with something. He breathed deeply, trying to slow the rapid pounding if his heart. He managed to convince himself that the wetness on his face was bath water and not tears.

Lucius climbed out of the bath when he started nodding off again, deciding that Draco would most likely be upset should Lucius drown. As Lucius dressed, the wireless started playing a song that sounded vaguely familiar to him. The song itself was irrelevant, what mattered were the memories that it seemed to be triggering, and Lucius bowed his head, trying to bring them into focus.

c~c~c~c~c

"Shhh, little one; it's time to sleep, shh..." Lucius was sitting in the antique, mahogany rocking chair next to Draco's crib trying to lull the nine-month-old infant to sleep.

As usual, Draco was fussy and restless, despite all Lucius' best efforts. The wizard wireless was playing, but tonight it didn't seem to be helping. "Oh, come on now, why won't you sleep? I've tried everything! Do you hate me? Is that it?"

Draco blinked at him with large, baby blue eyes, which were slowly fading to silver. He reached up and tugged playfully on Lucius' hair, giggling. Lucius couldn't help but smiling; Draco knew he had Lucius wrapped around his little finger and he knew it. Lucius looked at Draco sternly, "Draco, it's bed time; you have to go to sleep now."

Draco just grinned and tugged harder. Lucius frowned and carefully disentangled Draco's tiny fingers from his own, long hair. At the loss of his new toy, Draco's delicate nose wrinkled and Lucius could tell he was about to start crying. "Oh, please don't, my little dragon, don't cry; you'll just get all worked up, shh..."

But Draco didn't cry. Instead, he grabbed a new handful of Lucius hair and pulled hard on it. "Da!" he pouted angrily. Da? Lucius' gaped; Draco had just said his first word! "Yes!" Lucius laughed, "I'm Da!" Lucius bounced Draco joyfully while the baby laughed and clapped his hands happily. "Da! Da!"

c~c~c~c~c

Lucius picked up the wireless and carried it into the bedroom, smiling sadly; he missed his precious son. He was glad, therefore, to see Hades perched on his headboard with a letter from Draco. Lucius untied the letter and sent Hades off to the owlery.

Lucius opened the parchment greedily, but nearly dropped the letter in shock when he read the first paragraph. They made chocolate frog cards of Crouch! What were they thinking? Were they going to make cards of Riddle too? Lucius felt terribly guilty; he'd wanted to surprise Draco with some of his favorite sweets and ended up sending him a reminder of the man who had hurt him so. Draco must be so upset! He did not say as much in his letter, but Draco usually was completely unwilling to talk about Crouch.

Lucius took a deep breath before he finished reading the letter. He sighed sadly when Draco said he was lonely. Lucius wanted everything for Draco; he wanted to protect him, and the fact that he could not was driving him mad. Lucius dug parchment, ink, and a quill out of the drawer of his nightstand. He braced the parchment against a random book that had been lying about and struggled to think of what to say.

Draco,

I am so sorry that I sent you that card. I would never have sent frogs if I had known they had made a card of that monster. Are you all right? If at any time you wish to come home, just say the word and I'll be there. I love you; never forget that.

I am sorry that your friendship with Millicent has not been progressing as you had hoped, but if she truly is as sensitive as you say, a bit of patience will probably work wonders with her. Are there any others you might care to make connections with? I know that Pygmalion child is probably a bit young to provide the kind of connection you are likely interested in, what about some of the older students? When the rest of the students arrive next week I'm sure you'll have many options open to you.

I'm glad you made use of the panther; I know you think me overprotective but I do worry about how you sleep so far away from home. If it gets to be a problem, owl me or go see the nurse; I won't have you falling ill due to lack of sleep. Ignore the Gryffindors. They are beneath your notice. If they bother you, either owl me or go to Severus and Severus alone; if there was anything I learned in my seven years at Hogwarts it is that those arrogant muggle-lovers can do no wrong in the eyes of most of the faculty.

I miss you as well, my precious son. Without your presence the manor is considerably darker and more tedious. I am a fool not to have realized before how much joy you bring to this place.

Lucius frowned then magically erased that last sentence. It was completely true, but Draco was not overly fond of that type of syrupy sentiment.

I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that boredom is the furthest thing from my mind.

Lucius frowned again; that sentence was technically true, but he did not like misleading his son. But Draco did not deserve to be saddled with Lucius' problems. It was touching, but also disturbing, that Draco had noticed that Lucius was not acting exactly in character lately. Lucius would have to be careful in the future not to give Draco any reason to suspect that anything was wrong.

I am grateful for the freedom to choose my own schedule at the moment; frankly I consider not returning to work when I care not to as one of those luxuries that the Malfoy fortune allows us. The same will apply to you after you graduate. The hour is late, so I will say good night to you. Remember that I love you, and you can always come to me with any problem. Take care of yourself.

Love,

Father

Lucius decided to let Hades rest; he would send the letter in the morning with specific instructions that it be delivered to the dorm and not the Great Hall. This letter was no one's business but his and Draco's. Lucius placed the letter on the nightstand and returned all the writing supplies to their proper places. He still felt ill and exhausted, and writing the letter had taken his last bit of energy. Even so, he did not know if he would be able to sleep. He huddled under the covers with the stuffed dragon, regretting that he did not have his real dragon with him.

* End Chapter 3 *