[27th Police Precinct of the NYPD]
It feels like months since we argued instead of just weeks, Ryo thought for at least the seventh time that morning. The same thought repeated itself in his head ever since that terrible evening.
At least he hasn't called me Randy since, he thought to himself.
But he knew Dee simply continued to call him Ryo for the simple reason as to not arise curiosity.
The explanation would be too involved and Ryo knew that it would be something he would want to hear.
He watched Dee from across the room now, for Dee had moved his desk away from his. When asked why by the others, Dee proclaimed loudly that he had wanted a change of view, having looked at the same one for so long. Ryo had looked at Dee then to find him looking back at him solemnly for a moment before turning his head away. Not for the first time, Ryo felt a familiar prickling at his eyes and he surreptitiously wiped at them, hoping no one noticed his sudden influx of emotion.
//I get a feeling when I look at you//
Dee was sprawled lazily in his seat, drinking from his cocky "#1 Lover" coffee mug in his right hand and reading the report he held in the left. He looked careless, casual, and relaxed and inside Ryo couldn't help but resent him for it.
Judging by their present actions, the casual observer never would have guessed at how they felt.
But by one who knows them would have been an entirely different story.
Dee laughed as jovially as he ever did, arrogant and cocky in his actions and deeds; to the entire world he would seem fine and happy.
But Ryo could see the faint changes in the one he loved from afar. The laughter did not reach those once-smiling green eyes, nor did the brash words have the intensity of its past.
And he knew he was no better, and his pretending seemed to earn him more sympathy than he could bear.
Bikky and Cal did not know what had happened but it became obvious when Dee's near-daily visits and suppertime infringements ceased abruptly.
His colleagues seem to sense the change in him as well. He had never been overly talkative with his closet co-workers for he had never really felt his quiet nature had a place with them. Yet apparently they knew him better than he realized and offered compassion for a problem they knew nothing about.
And so everything felt worse.
//Wherever you go now, I wanna be there too//
They had been assigned new partners.
Though Dee had not discussed it with him, Ryo knew he had asked Commissioner Rose for the change. Rose had only been too happy to grant the request, Dee not even needing to provide more than a thin reason about wanting to work with someone who might have a different perspective than Ryo when working on cases.
Yet when they had worked as partners in justice against the crimes of New York City, they had been an unstoppable force. Everyone knew it. But Rose conveniently forgot that fact, most likely due to his misplaced and unwanted affections.
Rose "graciously" offered Ryo to become his partner in front of everyone. Ryo very much wanted to refuse, but the decision was already made really. What could he say anyway? That he feared his virtue was in danger?
It just wasn't done.
//They say we're crazy but I just don't care//
Dee went without a partner for what felt like a long time. His former partner was silently glad of it.
He didn't want to see anyone take his place.
Being assigned to become Dee's partner had ended up being the most fortunate, exciting thing to ever happen to him and he didn't want to share.
//And if they keep on talkin' still they get nowhere//
Diana. She was back.
The F.B.I had assigned her a new and difficult case and her successors had believed that they would require some police assistance.
Diana fluttered though the precinct like a zephyr, gliding in quietly with a smile. However the graceful image was broken when she spoke, smacking her lips as she chewed her cheery bubblegum and sashaying towards Rose's office.
Ryo watched as she went past and thought to greet her. As he opened his mouth, Diana's voice suddenly rang forth.
"Dee!" she called out happily, waved a manicured hand.
Ryo observed quietly as he watched the beautiful and flamboyant lady sauntered up to Dee, who comically raised his hands in an "Oh No! It's Diana!" gesture. She raised an arched eyebrow at that in an equally playful manner and leaned over to kiss on the cheek. Pulling back, Diana chided him for being a naughty cop while brushing lightly at the red smear of lipstick off his cheek. Dee offered her a charming smile in response that made their observer's gut clutch in remembrance.
He's never going to smile at me that way ever again...
//So I don't mind if they don't understand//
Diana never noticed him as Dee escorted her to Rose's office, though it was only a few mere steps away.
She smiled at him and pulled out a card from her long coat, and handed him what looked like a business card.
Her phone number, Ryo realized with a sick feeling.
A part of him chastised himself instantly at the instinctive feeling of despair.
Dee wouldn't call her; he's not interested in her.
Dee took the card, his face reflecting surprise as if he was startled than Diana was interested in him.
Ryo called Dee and himself seven kinds of idiots then.
Of course she interested, Baka! She kissed you before, didn't she?
Part of Ryo knew that his logic wasn't practical, for she had kissed him once as well.
"But she kissed you to get Dee's and Rose's attention, it was about Dee then, too! She wants him." Ryo bitterly reminded himself.
Diana stepped into Rose's office with a farewell wink to Dee, and stepped inside, closing the door.
Dee was still looking at the card, lost in thought.
Ryo observed him, eyes capturing the tall dark figure to memory once again and hoping against hope that Dee would not tear him further apart by dating Diana.
Ryo stifled a gasp as Dee suddenly looked at him for the first time in forever. The green gaze looked at him searchingly, probing for an answer Ryo did not know how to give but at the same time desperately wanting to.
Their gazes locked and Ryo's breathing started to become slightly erratic.
Dee...
I don't know what went wrong, but please forgive me for whatever it is I've done to send you away...
//When I look at you when you hold my hand//
Noise fell away and the table and desks disappeared. It was only Dee, looking at him with his soft black hair brushing his jade-coloured eyes.
He stepped forward, as Ryo watched. Foot after foot brought Dee in front of his desk and Ryo stood up to look the man he loved in his hypnotically sorrowful eyes.
Dark eyes absorbed each movement of the man in front of him, not wanting to miss a single motion.
Dee's lips parted, but no words came out. Ryo could hear the slight exhalation escaping him and felt his anxious heart beginning to thrum faster in his chest.
A strong hand slowly moved from Dee's side and was held out before him. The hand held Diana's business card and offered it to Ryo to do with as he saw fit.
Hesitating for barely a moment, Ryo plucked the card out of Dee's hand. Keeping Dee's gaze, mostly because he was immersing himself in the feeling of finally not being ignored by his loved one, he plucked the card out of Dee's hand. Allowing a small piece of his frustration to enter his expression, he crushed the card in his fist.
Dee watched his actions calmly then nodded and moved to go back to his desk.
The noisy world returned once again to Ryo as Dee began to walk away.
"Dee, please wait. Please."
Ryo knew in his heart that this had been Dee's way of showing him that he still cared for him and would take no one in his place, but so much more was needed. Things had to change. They had to.
He felt like he was dying inside.
He needed his life force back, he needed to be needed again, to be madly lusted after again, and most essentially of all, he needed to be loved again.
To be loved by Dee.
//'Cause they don't know 'bout us//
"Dee, please talk to me.... We need to talk about how we left things."
He rarely saw Dee as quiet as he was now. Even in the direst of situations, Dee was outspoken and opinionated. He was not like this, not like he was now.
Dee did not respond for full minute, just stood before him with a look unknown to Ryo in his eyes.
"Come to my place tonight. We can't talk now.", uttered Dee in an unusual monotone.
Tears of hope welled up in Ryo's eyes and he nodded quickly so Dee would not have a chance to change his mind.
"Tonight.", Ryo murmured softly and he thought he saw a flicker of warmth that spiral through Dee's eyes before they became serious once again.
Dee nodded.
"Tonight."
And walked away with Ryo's shadowed gaze trailing after him.
//And they've never heard of love//
To be continued…