One...
Tinky Winky: One!
Two...
Dipsy: Two!
Three...
Laa Laa: Thwee!
Fou--
*PIU*
Umbreon: Remind me never to let Numbuh 3 near the television for the rest of this chapter.
Jolteon: Never let Numbuh 3 near the television for the rest of this chapter.
Umbreon: Thank you, Jolteon. Now, could you do the disclaimer, please?
Jolteon: Fine, fine, fine. Umbreon doesn't own anything. Except for Team Eeveeon, and... The Biosphere Battlefield? You're not going to-
Umbreon: Shhh... You'll give the game away.
Chapter 2: The Biosphere Battlefield Bashup (Part I)
Prepare for T.A.K.E.O.F.F.
Umbreon: Kids Next Door, today I require you to get ready for another mission, for you will be taking part in another of our experiments.
Numbuh 4: Oh yeah? Says who?
Umbreon: Us and all the people who reviewed. Would you rather face the wrath of Dynasty San, Jessie A and some others?
Numbuh 4: *grumbles*
Umbreon: Now, Kids, step this way, please.
Numbuh 3: Goody! Are we going to another Candy Room?
Umbreon: Well, it's something like that. *sniggers*
Later, the Kids follow Team Eeveeon into a huge room filled with a humongous screen covering three-quarters of one wall, with a computerised system of buttons and levers under it. The other side of the room has a pair of cylindric perspex chambers complete with control panel.
Umbreon: Now, Kids, please step into this chamber. *points to a chamber*
Numbuh 1: Very well, but what are you going to do?
Umbreon: You'll see. *waits until all five are inside the chamber* Espeon, upload the map and confirm the coordinates.
Espeon: Roger. Initiating map, confirming coordinates... the position for the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. (Telepathy-Aided Kinetic Equipment Of Fantastic Facilitation) destination is confirmed at 100% accuracy rating.
Umbreon: Jolteon?
Jolteon: All clear for transportation to point 342314, Zone C, The Biosphere Battlefield. Awaiting instructions.
Numbuh 2: The what?
Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 don't like the sound of this.
Umbreon: Flareon?
Flareon: Tube 1 clear for telekinetic transportation sequence, over!
Umbreon: Alright. Vaporeon, now!
Vaporeon nods and quickly presses a significantly big button on the control panel below the humongous screen. Instantly, the room is plunged into a bright light, which comes from the two chambers.
Umbreon: Bye, Kids Next Door! We'll be monitoring you from this control centre, and good luck!
Numbuh 1: Hey, waaaaaaaaaai- *zip*
Vaporeon: Umbreon, now that we've transferred the kids to the Biosphere Battlefield, what are you going to do?
Jolteon: Yeah, the last time you sent someone to the Biosphere Battlefield, we never saw them again, and all that was left was a few mouldy bones.
Umbreon: Relax, my brothers and sisters, the kids will turn out absolutely fine. This experiment is to test out another ingenious theory I had yesterday--
Espeon: Since when did you have any ingenious theories?
Umbreon: Aw, shut up. Anyway, it has come to my attention that among the Kids Next Door's most dangerous enemies, there are two of them, of which according to my theory will become a deadly duo if they should join forces.
Flareon: And who might those be in question?
Umbreon: Stickybeard, the pirate with a sweet tooth, and Grandma Stuffum. Stickybeard and his henchmen, Chewy and Gooey, I've heard, once tried to eat the whole lot of the Kids' candy. As for Grandma Stuffum and her sidekicks, Liver and Onions, they're always trying to make people eat their disgusting foods. I've reason to believe she's been responsible for several cases of indigestion epidemics in grade schools over there in the U.S.A. (Author's Note: Well you would have indigestion if you took any food from her, right?)
Vaporeon: So where are they?
Umbreon: Grandma Stuffum will be coming along any moment. Stickybeard said he would be a bit late; he phoned to say that his cabin boys discovered an ice-cream parlour nearby in desperate need of raiding.
Flareon: And how will we know if she's here?
Umbreon: You don't have to worry. She's always wielding her trusty bowl and spoon, walking around, looking for kids to stuff with her disgusting feed, saying --
Voice from doorway: Oooh, skinny rabbit. You need to eat!
Umbreon: Who said that?! I am by no means at all a rabbi--!!
Everyone backs away from the door to see an enormous old woman holding a bowl of I-don't-wanna-know-what-it-is and a wooden spoon. Standing by her is a pair of onions with faces and a stomach-like thing that looked like it escaped from the abbattoir.
Flareon: Oh, sweet mother of juppie!
Espeon: Reminds you Anne the First of Stuart England, don't you think?
Umbreon: Liver? Hm, I once mashed one from a chicken mixed in hydrogen peroxide in biology class.
Jolteon: You did what?
Vaporeon: Everybody quit yapping and RUN FOR YOUR STOMACHS!
Grandma Stuffum: Come back, rabbits, you have to eat!
SPLAT!
Vaporeon: Tomato flavoured tofu?! EWWWW!!!
Umbreon: Rabbits? Nobody calls us rabbits! Espeon! Use your Hypnosis attack!
Espeon: Affirmative! *stares*
Grandma Stuffum/Liver/Onions: Zzzzzz...
Umbreon: Whew! Now let's shove 'em into the teleportation chamber.
Voice: Ahoy, me hearties!
Umbreon: Ah, that must be Stickybeard. So, how was today's raid?
Stickybeard: Brilliant, me laddie!
Umbreon: Really, don't you ever get sugar high or something?
Stickybeard: Laddie, I've been eating candy all me life. I can't get sugar high.
Umbreon: Which is just as well, because today you'll have almost all the candy you can eat. But I hope you've stocked enough stuff in your ship to last you, because you may be staying for a month at where you're going.
Vaporeon: *whisper* Nah, he'd probably live off his body fats.
Jolteon: Hey, I need someone to help me shove this fat circus lady in tube number 1!
Flareon: Right!
After half an hour of shifting, shuffling and shoving...
Flareon: Whew, job done. I still wish you had been helping us with your psychic powers, Espy, I can hardly move my tail!
Espeon: I'm busy with the control panel, dimwit. And don't call me Espy, or I'll send you to join the KND.
Vaporeon: Well, I've loaded Stickybeard and company into tube 2 -- not to mention his shipload of junk food. Ouch.
Flareon: Speaking of food, where did you throw those sorry seasoning sidekicks anyway?
Jolteon: I threw them in the tube before Stuffum, why?
Flareon: Never mind -- I'm feeling sorry for those poor pinheads already.
Umbreon: Alright, Eeveeons. Let's go through the routine again, shall we?
Umbreon: And now, a Cartoon Network fashion tip from Joe Rockhead.
Joe Rockhead: Find a look you're comfortable in and stick with it. Forever.
Umbreon: Thanks Joe.
Meanwhile, in the Biosphere Battlefield...
Numbuh 1: Hm. An entire battle zone, World War One theme, complete with sandbags, barbed wire, and several dugouts. What could all this mean?
Numbuh 4: Ah don't know, but what Ah do know, is that this hole, is absolutely filled to tha brim with...
Numbuh 3: Candy! Wheeeeeeee!
Numbuh 2: Whoopee! No more feasts from Grandma Stuffum! *shudders at the thought, remembering what Jessie A once did to him (see Operation B.A.B.I.E.S., Chapter 8, by Numbuh 6)*
Numbuh's 2, 3 and 4 happily move in to feast on the pile of junk food. Numbuh 4 stuffs a jawbreaker in his mouth two times the size of his little head, Numbuh 2 is sucking on a candy cane, and Numbuh 3 is blissfully swimming in a tub of konnyaku jelly. (A type of jelly from Japan for those who don't know -- absolutely delicious! ^_^)
In the Control Room of the T.A.K.E.O.F.F., Team Eeveeon is monitoring the Kids. On the main screen is an image of Numbuh 5 sitting next to Numbuh 1. The team watches as Numbuh 5 offers Numbuh 1 a pack of jellybeans.
Umbreon: One, two, three...
Team Eeveeon: Aw...
Umbreon: I always knew those two had something for each other.
Vaporeon: So, when are those fatheads going to arrive in the Battlefield?
Umbreon: Hm, I'm not that sure. Judging by their technical mass...
Numbuh 5: Whassamatta Numbuh 1? Don't you want any candy?
Umbreon: Not to mention the electromagnetic spectrum of the fourth-dimensional highway...
Numbuh 1: Thanks, Numbuh 5, but no thanks.
Umbreon: Also considering the possibilities of physical obstacles they may meet during the translocation...
Numbuh 5: Is something wrong, Numbuh 1? *thinking* He looks so cute in those shades...
Umbreon: I should say that they reach the Biosphere Battlefield right about...
Numbuh 1: Well, Numbuh 5, it's just... *blushes slightly*
Umbreon: ...now.
At that freak moment, two beams of light shoot from the sky where the Kids Next Door are into a dugout about forty metres away.
Numbuh 3: What was that?
Grandma Stuffum: Ooooh, skinny children. You need to eat!
Numbuh 2: *shocked* It can't be!
Numbuh 4: It just CAN'T be!
Numbuh 5: But... it is!
Kids Next Door: It's GRANDMA STUFFUM!!!
Dun dun dun...!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Fine. So I couldn't resist a bit of Numbuh 1 and 5 romance. Sue me.
Anyway... this new experiment will take about 3 chapters, instead of just two. Paiseh. (Paiseh means "sorry" in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect.) Team Eeveeon is still waiting for an applicant to save the Kids Next Door in this experiment... First come first served, remember. Also please remember to include any further details you want me to add, and keep those reviews coming in! Thank you all!
-- Umbreon and Team Eeveeon