Chapter4: Is this what i really want?
"Aren't you going to say something?", he asked. I couldn't just sit there all day so what was i to do? I had to say something! But...what? "Kitow", he yelled as he grabbed me by the arms demanding me to say something. "Okay...but why now? "Why ignore me...leave me in my own depts?", i asked.
"I can't explain as you wish for me to do!", he began. "But isn't this what you wanted?" "I did all that i could" "I know...but...somehow i feel this is not what you really want... is it?", i asked. "Yes, this is what i want!" "Do you even know why i kept to myself...away from you...youkina...and even myself?" "I was afraid...afraid of what i might do...who i might hurt!" "But why...i love you Hiei... i always have and always will!", i began. "Without you...i would be alone once again."
As i said this i rested my hand with his. He was astonished...speechless. But not for long! He cupped my chin in his palms and looked deeply into my eyes saying something to me with his lips Kitow,i promise to take care of you always and love you as you are! Undersatand. I could hear it? But...how? I was only human or was i? No i can't be! I am as what my mother has come to be or what she really was. An Angel.
He moved his face closer to mine as we looked into each others eyes. Our lips began to touch. This went on and on until i decided to back away. As much as i didn't want to i had to.
"Hiei...i can't....shhhh", he said as he put an index finger to my lip.
I kept quite to see what his next move would be...but was i ready....was i really afraid to love him?
But why would i? i loved him more than anything in the entire world!! what was this sudden change?
I dont quite understand wuts wrong with me...why is this happening...i do want hiei..i do..but..
"KITOW LISTEN TO ME...im sorry but i cant do this hiei...i just can't..im so sorry"
"ISN'T THIS WHAT U WANT?" "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"I dont know alright..just leave me alone..for now...ill explain to you soon..but i cant quite figure it out myself..WHAT DO U MEAN...I DID EVERYTHING U WANTED ME TO DO..I EVEN PROPOSED MY LOVE TO YOU KITOW...WHERE DID I GO WRONG?"
"it's not you..it's me..i want you im sure i do...but something is stopping me from showing you ho i really feel...and i can't right now..i just cant..please dont be angry with me hiei..i love u more than anything..i just...WHAT...YOU JUST WHAT...TELL ME KITOW!!"
"I can't..WHY CANT YOU...TELL ME NOW...IM SORRY HIEI BUT I CANT TELL YOU ANYTHING...I NEED TO BE ALONE...I NEED TO THINK"
"THINK...U DONT NEED TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU AND ME..NOW TELL ME WHATS GOING ON", Hiei yelled as he pulled me closer to him.
I couldnt answer him..because i truely didnt know the answers. But why? Wut was going on through my head? Anyone could answer that..but why couldnt i? Is it because my mother is now dead...IS THAT IT?
"WUT DO U WANT FROM ME", i yelled as i looked hiei directly in the eye.
"I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WUTS GOING ON KITOW...I KNOW YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS... SO TELL ME..PLEASE..
It was the first time i had ever heard Hiei so determined to know wut was going on in my life...i mean i truely didnt know..i was telling him the truth so why wont he beleive me? Am i going crazy...somehow..it seems im out of my mind..i cant even tell him how i realy feel about him...i know that i love him..but there is more to it than just love..doesnt anyone notice that? How could they when they beleive nothing i say? Every word that escapes from my mouth they think its a lie..BUT IM NOT LIEING!!
"IM NOT LIEING", i yelled as i collapsed to the floor with hiei at my side.
"HEY, U GUYS SHE PASSED OUT", Hiei called to the others.
{sorry that this chapter was soooooo short but i had to stop it here...oh and sry for the long wait!! hope u enjoyed this fic so far!! i promise ill update the next one alittle faster!!}
"Aren't you going to say something?", he asked. I couldn't just sit there all day so what was i to do? I had to say something! But...what? "Kitow", he yelled as he grabbed me by the arms demanding me to say something. "Okay...but why now? "Why ignore me...leave me in my own depts?", i asked.
"I can't explain as you wish for me to do!", he began. "But isn't this what you wanted?" "I did all that i could" "I know...but...somehow i feel this is not what you really want... is it?", i asked. "Yes, this is what i want!" "Do you even know why i kept to myself...away from you...youkina...and even myself?" "I was afraid...afraid of what i might do...who i might hurt!" "But why...i love you Hiei... i always have and always will!", i began. "Without you...i would be alone once again."
As i said this i rested my hand with his. He was astonished...speechless. But not for long! He cupped my chin in his palms and looked deeply into my eyes saying something to me with his lips Kitow,i promise to take care of you always and love you as you are! Undersatand. I could hear it? But...how? I was only human or was i? No i can't be! I am as what my mother has come to be or what she really was. An Angel.
He moved his face closer to mine as we looked into each others eyes. Our lips began to touch. This went on and on until i decided to back away. As much as i didn't want to i had to.
"Hiei...i can't....shhhh", he said as he put an index finger to my lip.
I kept quite to see what his next move would be...but was i ready....was i really afraid to love him?
But why would i? i loved him more than anything in the entire world!! what was this sudden change?
I dont quite understand wuts wrong with me...why is this happening...i do want hiei..i do..but..
"KITOW LISTEN TO ME...im sorry but i cant do this hiei...i just can't..im so sorry"
"ISN'T THIS WHAT U WANT?" "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"I dont know alright..just leave me alone..for now...ill explain to you soon..but i cant quite figure it out myself..WHAT DO U MEAN...I DID EVERYTHING U WANTED ME TO DO..I EVEN PROPOSED MY LOVE TO YOU KITOW...WHERE DID I GO WRONG?"
"it's not you..it's me..i want you im sure i do...but something is stopping me from showing you ho i really feel...and i can't right now..i just cant..please dont be angry with me hiei..i love u more than anything..i just...WHAT...YOU JUST WHAT...TELL ME KITOW!!"
"I can't..WHY CANT YOU...TELL ME NOW...IM SORRY HIEI BUT I CANT TELL YOU ANYTHING...I NEED TO BE ALONE...I NEED TO THINK"
"THINK...U DONT NEED TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU AND ME..NOW TELL ME WHATS GOING ON", Hiei yelled as he pulled me closer to him.
I couldnt answer him..because i truely didnt know the answers. But why? Wut was going on through my head? Anyone could answer that..but why couldnt i? Is it because my mother is now dead...IS THAT IT?
"WUT DO U WANT FROM ME", i yelled as i looked hiei directly in the eye.
"I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WUTS GOING ON KITOW...I KNOW YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS... SO TELL ME..PLEASE..
It was the first time i had ever heard Hiei so determined to know wut was going on in my life...i mean i truely didnt know..i was telling him the truth so why wont he beleive me? Am i going crazy...somehow..it seems im out of my mind..i cant even tell him how i realy feel about him...i know that i love him..but there is more to it than just love..doesnt anyone notice that? How could they when they beleive nothing i say? Every word that escapes from my mouth they think its a lie..BUT IM NOT LIEING!!
"IM NOT LIEING", i yelled as i collapsed to the floor with hiei at my side.
"HEY, U GUYS SHE PASSED OUT", Hiei called to the others.
{sorry that this chapter was soooooo short but i had to stop it here...oh and sry for the long wait!! hope u enjoyed this fic so far!! i promise ill update the next one alittle faster!!}