Vaporeon: That's nice, Umbreon, but the thing is... she asked for chocolate-coated coffee beans.
Umbreon: What?! Dang. Well, I suppose we'll have to eat these instead. Care to join me, gang?
Team Eeveeon: Yeah!
Umbreon: Just a moment. *looks at readers* I don't own anything. Except Team Eeveeon, their little clubhouse, the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. (Telepathy-Aided Kinetic Equipment Of Fantastic Facilitation), this control room, the Biosphere Battlefield, and for now, this bag of coffee-coated chocolate beans. Ah heh heh heh...
Chapter 3: The Biosphere Battlefield Bashup (Part II)
Sugar Shortage
Umbreon: We now, chew, return back to where we left the Kids Next Door in the last chapter, munch. It appears that our experiment is, munch, going as smooth as silk; Grandma Stuffum and her henchmen have arrived safely in the Biosphere Battlefield, chomp. Stickybeard and company have arrived as well, chew, but well out of vision of the Kids Next Door, munch. Exactly as I planned it, har har, chomp.
Espeon: Hey, stop hogging the beans, Umbreon!
Flareon: Yeah, save some for us!
Umbreon: Oops. Paiseh. Time to check on their situation, people.
Meanwhile, in a candy-loaded dugout in the Biosphere Battlefield...
Numbuh 5: What do we do now, Numbuh 1?
As Numbuh 5 speaks, Numbuh 1 spots some flying spots headed for them.
Numbuh 1: GET DOWN! It's raining brussel sprout tofu!
The kids respond quickly, but they still can't escape a sorry splattering of Grandma Stuffum's Sprout Surprise.
Numbuh 3: Yuck! There's tofu in the konnyaku jelly!
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door. Battle stations!
The kids immediately get to repelling the madwoman and her shower of sprouts and goodness-knows-what. Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 help Numbuh 2 load his R.I.F.L.E. (Repels Intruders For Lethal Emergencies) with candy, while Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3 fling junk food back at Grandma Stuffum.
Numbuh 4: Yah! Death to tofu!
Grandma Stuffum, in fact, is loading her little military gadget -- the C.A.N.N.O.N. (Contains A Noxious Node of Nosh), with lots of her nasty gruel. The Kids respond just as valiantly. Pretty soon, Stuffum's dugout begins to fill with candy canes, jellybeans and marshmallows -- all which were repelled by Grandma Stuffum's spinning spoon.
Grandma Stuffum: You sure they'll come here eventually? They have to eat, you know.
Stickybeard: Ar, they'll have to come. They'll run out of candy sooner or later, and there's enough to last the seven of us.
Grandma Stuffum: Just keep down like that skinny rabbit (Umbreon at this point shouted, "I AM NOT A RABBIT!!!") told you to. By the way, are you sure those two (points to Chewy and Gooey) don't want any of my Sprout Surprise? They look very skinny to me.
Stickybeard: Missus, they've eaten candy all their lives. They won't eat anything else. Besides, nothing could taste better than this candy. *chews on a candy cane*
Three hours later...
Numbuh 1: We've been throwing candy for the past three hours, and Stuffum's showing no sign of wearing down! What's going on out there?
Grandma Stuffum: I'm happy you asked, child. For right here with me is someone who has been eating your candy all this time! Come up and say hello, captain!
Suddenly, a person wearing a pirate's hat, a parrot on his shoulder and has a medium-sized orange beard appears. (Author's Note: Paiseh if I got the description wrong -- I don't watch Spongebob Squarepants.)
Captain: Are you ready kids?
Background: Aye aye Captain!
Captain: I can't hear you!
Background: AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
Captain: Ooooooooo... Who lives in a pineapple under th--*ZIP*
Umbreon: Oops. Wrong captain.
Stickybeard emerges from the dugout besides Grandma Stuffum.
Kids Next Door: STICKYBEARD!
Stickybeard: Aye, Kids! Thanks for all the free candy! Har har har!
Numbuh 1: Why, you-!! Kids Next Door. Bat--
Numbuh 1's order is cut short as he spies another storm of nasty nosh coming their way.
Numbuh 1: --FALL BACK!
Meanwhile, back in Team Eeveeon's control room...
Vaporeon: So, has the informatic application come through yet?
Umbreon: Yep, it's coming through. Once I've gotten the information confirmed, we can upload it on the computer for future references, since this is not going to be the last time she's making an entrance... and it's also for her to confirm later on. Ah, there it is now!
The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division
Subject Identity: Jessie A
Other known Identities: Rabbit, Numbuh 6
Appearance: Fourteen year old Mexican girl, short black hair, brown eyes, skinny figure
Known favourites: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eminem, Numbuh 2
Known hates: The Hoe Squad, The Delightful Children from Down The Lane
Known interests: Writing, drawing, playing Vice City
Known non-interests: Being in anger management and boot camp
Known strengths/weapons: Cannon Blaster, staff, baseball bat, werewolf powers
Known weaknesses: Music (especially Eminem), Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vice City, watching Crank Yankers, strawberries
Any other useful information: Really likes Numbuh 2. A student at Hogwarts school of wizardry with the occasional evil tendency.
Umbreon: Uh-huh, everything's going real fine. Now, let's check on the Kids, shall we?
Meanwhile, the Kids Next Door have used up most of their candy ammunition. All that is left is a small box of ice-cream cakes, three jawbreakers, and two arm-sized candy canes. The Kids are beginning to suffer the effects of being deprived of sugar. Numbuh 1 had strictly rationed the remaining ammuntion for food, but not even he can hold forever...
Numbuh 3: *lying deliriously on ground* Sugar... Need sugar... Mommy...
Numbuh 1: They can't hold out forever. Then again, neither can we...
Numbuh 2: What are we going to do? We're not going to eat that *points to the Sprout Surpise on floor*, are we? *shudders*
Numbuh 5: What's going to happen to us?
Numbuh 4: Damn Umbreon...
On the other side of the field, Stickybeard are still munching through what the Kids Next Door has fired over to them. Grandma Stuffum is still loading her C.A.N.N.O.N., but not as furiously as before.
Numbuh 3: Ooooooooooohhhh...
Numbuh 4: Numbuh 3?!
Numbuh 3: Mommy... Help me...
Numbuh 4: Don't worry Numbuh 3... Ah'm here...
Numbuh 3: Nu... Numbuh 4...
Numbuh 4: Yes? Yes?
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 4... I'm scared...
Numbuh 4: Don't worry... Ah won't let anything happen to you...
Numbuh 3: *gazes* Really?
Numbuh 4: Promise.
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 4?
Numbuh 4: Yes?
Numbuh 3: I... I... *begins to blush slightly*
Numbuh 1: *suddenly* Everbody DUCK!
Numbuh 5: Here we go again...
Umbreon: Well, I feel sorry for them already. What about you, team?
Vaporeon: I say we call Jessie in, A.S.A.P.
Flareon: I second that!
Espeon: I third that!
Jolteon: I fou... oh, forget it.
Umbreon: Right. I'll just give her a--eh?
Umbreon is interrupted as the phone rings. He picks it up.
Umbreon: Hello?
Johnny Bravo: Hello 911 Emergency? There's a handsome guy in my house.
Umbreon: Johnny?!?
Johnny Bravo: Oh, wait a second, cancel that -- it's only me. *click*
Umbreon: *mutters* Pinhead. *begins to dial Jessie A's number*
Jessie A: Hello?
Umbreon: Jessie A? It's time for your cue. Report to the Team Eeveeon Clubhouse A.S.A.P., and don't worry, the friendly security guard, Harry, will guide you in.
Jessie A: Okay, bye!
Suddenly, there is a knock on the door, and the door bursts open.
Umbreon: Here already?
Jessie: Prepare for trouble! *tries to mimic James* And make it double! *normal voice* Sheesh, it's just not the same without James, is it?
Umbreon: Oh, nuts. I didn't ask for this Jessie. Lurch!!!
Jessie: *gulps* Lurch?
A lumbering clone of Frankenstein enters the control room.
Lurch: You... called?
Umbreon: Yes Lurch. Please get rid of this intruder immediately.
Lurch: O... kay.
Lurch picks Jessie up and drop-kicks her through the roof.
Jessie: Looks like Jessie's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain--- *ting*
Umbreon: Thank you Lurch.
As Lurch lumbers off, a Mexican girl walks through the doorway. Actually, she's hanging from the hand of a growling Hariyama.
Umbreon: Thank you Harry. Now put her down--
CRASH!!!
Umbreon: --gently. Sorry about that, Jessie A.
Vaporeon: Now, please get into the tube...
Jolteon: And don't forget this.
Jessie: A... Burger King paper bag?
Umbreon: Pass it to the KND. They might find it useful.
Soon, Jessie A goes through the fourth-dimensional highway, headed for the Biosphere Battlefield.
Umbreon: Okay, gang. Now we need to fix that roof...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Fine, so my attempts at romance failed miserably. Kinda. Well, stay tuned for the next exciting instalment, people, and don't forget to R/R. Thanks.