Vaporeon: After months of anticipation...
Flareon: And almost giving up hope...
Jolteon: The Hong Kong people are finally releasing Kids Next Door on July 4th.
Espeon: What irony. We get a new cartoon on America's birthday. America gets a new cartoon on Umbreon's birthday.
Umbreon: And phooey, we won't even be there to see it.
Jolteon: Still, not to worry -- it's only seven months, and we can ask the others for information. After all, like the transmission said -- there's strength in NUMBUHS!
The rest of Team Eeveeon groan. Umbreon beckons to Lurch to come over and put Jolteon in a strait jacket.
Umbreon: And before we begin the third round of Kuki vs. Zenith, we'd like to do the disclaimers for this and the last two chapters. Other than ourselves, and all our staff and fancy gear, we don't own anything.
Chapter 8: When KND Attacks (Part III)
K.O.O.K.I. -- Kuteness Of Opponent Krushes Intellegentsia
Subject Identification Number: 9
Subject Identity: Zenith
Other known Identities: None
Nationality: British
Appearance: Medium height, thin, black hair, brown eyes
Known likes/interests: Anime, video games, reading, math class
Known dislikes/non-interests: Snow days in spring (Not that here in Singapore you could tell the difference.)
Known strengths/weapons: Smart, equipped with mecha piloting knowledge
Known weaknesses: Physically weak, knows little about combat
Any other useful information: None so far.
Subject Identification Number: 13
Subject Identity: Kuki Sanban
Other known Identities: Numbuh 3
Nationality: Japanese-American
Appearance: 10-year-old, elliptical head, beige skin, long black hair, sports oversized green jumper
Known likes/interests: The Kids Next Door, Rainbow Monkeys
Known dislikes/non-interests: Gory movies
Known strengths/weapons: Diversionary tactics, the T.H.U.M.P.E.R. and other animal/stuffed toy-related weaponry
Known weaknesses: Flowers, butterflies and any other girly stuff.
Any other useful information: Her mother was a KND agent, Numbuh 30. See Operation PARENTS written by Sgamer82.
Umbreon: Blame my ignorance, but what's mecha?
Espeon: Mechanised things like Zoids, methinks.
Umbreon: Absolutely great. We've got quite a bunch of the stuff. And now we hand you over to Flareon who will be in charge in today's match, away in the Biosphere Battledome.
Umbreon flips a switch, turning on a monitor screen showing that the Biosphere Battledome is...
Umbreon: ...empty?! Flippin' 'eck, what the hell did you do, Flareon?!
Flareon: I dunno, I thought I keyed in the coordinates correctly...
Umbreon: Those are the coordinates to the middle of nowhere, you dumbcluck!
Flareon: Oops. Heh heh.
Umbreon: *sighs* This will not be easy. There's a character in Neil Simon's "Rumours" called 'Cookie' (I'm not making this up), and according to one of the actors from our local high school drama group she's got the intelligence quotient of a half-baked cookie. Really.
Vaporeon: So what are we going to do?
Umbreon: Beats me, but it should be fine. We sent Zenith in our Archaeopte-Rex and he should protect her just finely until we can settle our R.E.T.R.E.E.V.U.H. (Reaching Everywhere To Retrieve Everything, Extreme Versatility Used Here) to get them back.
Courage sighs happily as he sits on Muriel's lap. Muriel is enjoying a nice sit in her rocking chair while Eustace is reading the Nowhere News. Suddenly, a hurried series of knocks is heard from outside.
Courage: Ahhhhhhh!!!
Muriel: Oh my. Could you get the door, Eustace?
Eustace: (not moving) Nope, not getting out of this chair!
Muriel gets up and opens the door to find a young Asian girl in a big green shirt.
Numbuh 3: (smiling sweetly) Could I spend the night here, please?
Muriel: Why of course! I'll just get the spare room ready.
Eustace just sits there without moving at all. Courage moves over and gets a relaxing scratching session behind the ears from Numbuh 3. Meanwhile, in a two-metre-tall flying machine shaped like a cross between an Archaeopteryx and a Tyrannosaurus Rex...
Zenith: Hmmm... the heat-sensors seem to point towards that run-down farmhouse over there... but I'll not bother them seeing as it's so late.
Zenith yawns, activates the cockpit bed and begins to doze off. So does Numbuh 3, and the others in the farmhouse, but...
Eustace: (grumbling) Argggk... Scratch... scratch...
Courage wakes up, rubs his eyes and happens to catch a glimpse at Eustace's foot.
Courage: ARRRRRRRRGH!
Courage screams, leaps up and hits the ceiling.
Eustace: Eh? Stupid dog.
Muriel: *yawns* What's the matter Courage?
Courage whimpers and points to Eustace's festering foot.
Muriel: Ooh, it's looks like you've got a fungus. Don't worry, I know some family cures.
The next morning, Numbuh 3 eats her breakfast in the kitchen while Muriel prepares some podiatric therapy for Eustace's foot, including stabbing it all over with cacti spines, letting loose some wild lobsters on it, and plunging it into some compost -- all of which the only results are Eustace shouting his head off.
Numbuh 3: Is your place always noisy like this?
Courage: You have no idea.
Eustace: I ain't going to no doctor.
Muriel: But you have to.
Eustace: Make me!
Muriel: Oh, alright. But I think it's starting to fester.
Uncle Fester: Someone mentioned my name?
Quietly, Muriel goes into the kitchen and tell Numbuh 3 and Courage to keep an eye on Eustace as she slips out of the back door to look for a doctor. Numbuh 3 and Courage get back to finishing breakfast while Eustace decides to take a kip on his chair. After half an hour, however...
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!" An ear-piercing scream cuts through the house. Numbuh 3 and Courage rush to the living room to find a huge mutant purple foot in place of Eustace.
Numbuh 3/Courage: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!
Numbuh 3: What have you done to that dear old man?
Courage: Are you kidding?
Big Toe: We're the Foot, see? And I'm the Big Toe, see? And we're gonna pull off this big heist, see?
Back in a huge mansion in the U.S. five shady characters chuckle lightly. At the farmhouse, the door suddenly falls down with Zenith in the doorway.
Zenith: Is everything all right in here? I've been knocking for the past ten minutes? And boy, someone needs a good bath! Phew!
Index/Middle/Ring Toes: No, everything is not all right. (Hops on Numbuh 3) And you two'd better not call the coppers, or the Asian girl here gets it, see?
Other toes: Yeah, or the Asian girl gets it!
Little toe: Yeah, or the Asian girl gets it!
Numbuh 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Zenith: Okay, we've got a situation here.
Team Eeveeon is busy fixing up the R.E.T.R.E.E.V.E.R., a box-like mechanism as big as a car, when several knocks are heard from the door. Espeon gets up and opens it to find Madison the Medicham and Muriel.
Espeon: Muriel! What brings you here today?
Muriel: Oh, Team Eeveeon, you have to help me! My poor Eustace has got a fungus and that Indian doctor said there was nothing he could do.
Espeon: Yes, we'll follow you immediately. Thank you, Madison. You guys ready yet?
Jolteon yells as a spurt of oil splashes into his face and Vaporeon quickly grabs a flying gear. Umbreon presses a button and the box begins to transform into a car.
Umbreon: Yep, it's finished. Now that we've transformed it into its Mobile Mode, we can get there within a few hours, or so.
Flareon: Couldn't we take the T.A.K.E.O.F.F.?
Umbreon: 'Fraid not. The Translocation Matrix Highway seems to have stalled, and I can't imagine why. Anyway, let's go fix that fungus and get our contestants back.
Meanwhile, in a faraway planet called D'hoonib, four saurians have just reached their destination...
Raphael: UNH! I feel like I've been turned inside out and back again!
Michelangelo: What happened? That light -- the strange lab -- those weird robot aliens? Where'd they go?
Donatello: I don't know, but we've got new company -- and they don't look too friendly either!
Leonardo: Well, before their trigger fingers get too itchy -- HIT 'EM!!!
Umbreon: We now return you to your normal broadcasting.
Inside the Archaeopte-Rex Zenith is piloting the robotic craft. Courage is hopping around nervously and Numbuh 3 is still struggling to get free from the Foot. Suddenly, Zenith touches down next to a cookie factory.
Big Toe: Alright, you two, here's the plan, see? *whispers instructions to Courage and Zenith* Now get in there, and grab all them cookies you can find, or the Asian girl gets it, see?
Numbuh 3: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Courage and Zenith hurriedly run down the landing platform and dash towards the closed factory. Zenith fires his grappling gun, smashing a window, grabs Courage and climbs into the factory. The two run through what seem like endless corridors until they find a password-protected trapdoor in a secluded corner. Courage nods, grabs the blowtorch he found in the Archaeopte-Rex and melts a hole open for them to get through.
Hurriedly Zenith and Courage climb down the seemingly eternal ladder and both of them begin to feel that the temperature is starting to rise a little. As they leap onto a metal platform they gasp to find that they are surrounded by a lake of lethal lava.
Cringing, they slowly move across the platform, huddling the wall, until they find a huge door that looks like a safe. Courage twiddles with the wheel while Zenith places a stethoscope to the door. After a while, and several bashes on the door with assorted toolbox equipment, the decision is made to blow up the door. Zenith attaches the dynamite to the door, fires the grappling gun, and slowly haul himself and Courage to the melted hole.
Courage: Look! LOOK!
Zenith turns back to see that the door has mysteriously creaked open and that the fuse has just reached its destination.
Zenith: Oh, knickers.
With a resounding explosion the factory blows apart. Courage and Zenith fly through the air before making their descent down to Earth. Luckily for Zenith, his parachute is attached right to his back, and he pulls the cord, activating the parachute, giving him and Courage a safe fall down to good old terra firma.
Big Toe: You pinheads, you blew up the damned factory. Now let's shift back to the house before the cops arrive.
As Umbreon pulls the R.E.T.R.E.E.V.E.R. over to the farmhouse, a signal suddenly begins to beep in a pattern.
Jolteon: Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot -- Numbuh 3 and Zenith are in trouble!
As the hatchway opens Team Eeveeon leap out of the machine to find Courage rushing out of the door, who stops in front of the gang and Muriel, making some strange sign-speak.
Umbreon: A humongous foot fungus took over Eustace and held Numbuh 3 hostage?
Team Eeveeon gaze among each other.
Umbreon: Well, a contestant is a contestant, and we'll have to rescue them -- you'll need to bring me a sample of that fungus, Courage.
Courage complies and five minutes later returns with a small flourescent-green piece of the fungus. Umbreon feeds it into his portable A.N.A.L.I.S.A. (A Nanotechnological Analytical Luminous Invention, Sophisticated Assistant).
"YUCK! PTOOEY!" The A.N.A.L.I.S.A. spits out the fungus and ejects a slip of paper.
Umbreon: Species: Gangsta Gigantactis. Cure: Dog spit.
Six pairs of eyes land on Courage who whines terribly. He goes into the house, and half an hour later, out come Courage, Eustace, Numbuh 3 and Zenith. Eustace is stumbling around dizzily, Numbuh 3 is holding Courage in a bear hug and Zenith is sitting on the steps.
Zenith: Weeeeesh. I'm glad that's over.
Umbreon: Not yet -- you have yet to meet your opponent in physical combat, Zenith.
And so, Numbuh 3 and Zenith find themselves in a big field behind the farmhouse. Everyone else is sitting down on the ground except Eustace, of course.
Muriel: Oh my, Eustace. Can't I sit down on that chair for a while?
Eustace: Nope! Not getting out of this chair.
Numbuh 3 bows Japanese-style, then rips off her green jumper, revealing a karate uniform with a black belt.
Zenith/Team Eeveeon minus Umbreon: Holy shit!
Numbuh 3: Haaaaaai-ya!
Vaporeon: You never told us Numbuh 3 was a karate student...
Umbreon: Actually, she wasn't. But Marco the Machamp was happy enough to give her some lessons, and she learns fast indeed. Samurai Jack passed by for a few moments, too.
Zenith immediately fires a series of exploding cannons. Being the most agile of the team Numbuh 3 makes quick work of dodging the lethal bombs, then flies at Archaeopte-Rex and gives it a few kicks.
Grappling claws are fired, which Numbuh 3 swiftly grabs, but Zenith simply flings her over a hundred metres away. Numbuh 3 leaps up, and begins to fly at Zenith.
Espeon: And I suppose Ron the Aggron taught her how to Skull Bash?
Umbreon: Actually, he didn't. It was Antonio the Dodrio, but never mind that.
Zenith responsively turns on the most powerful weapon that the Archaeopte-Rex wields.
Jolteon: And that might be?
Umbreon: The Plasmalasa DeParticulator.
Espeon: What's that supposed to be?
Umbreon: A powerful laser that utilises the strength of plasma to form a powerful laser, that, at optimum destructability, could liberate the bonds between the atoms of its target.
Everyone else: WHAT?!
Umbreon: Hey, it's not my fault you didn't read the manual.
As the laser charges Numbuh 3's foot connects with the robotic machine which falls back, launching the laser into a cloud in the sky, causing a rainstorm. Lightning strikes the Archaeopte-Rex, shorting it out.
Umbreon: What hell, I thought you peeps made it shock-proof!
Jolteon: Oops. Heh heh.
Everyone gazes at the smouldering chunk of metal that is, or was, the Archaeopte-Rex. Zenith climbs out, totally battered. Numbuh 3 simply bows, and puts on her jumper before returning to her happy-go-lucky, neurotic self.
Umbreon: That's it for Round Numbuh 3! Sorry for not updating, but if you must know, I've had six stitches on me foot after a serious gash between the toes!
Vaporeon: So, please read and review, people.
Big Toe: Or the Asian girl gets it, see?