I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness,
Was asked to throw two fools into the distant future...
Numbuh 4: Oi! Who are you calling a fool?!
Emeraldeye: That's right! Get 'im!
Aku: Before the first blow was even struck,
*CHA-RIIIIP*
Aku: I tore open in a portal in time!
Aku grabs Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye by their clothes.
Aku: And threw them into the future!
Umbreon: Ahem. Where their little tourney will take place.
Numbuh 4/Emeraldeye: WHAT?!
With a swift flick of the arm Aku throws Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye into the swirling vortex, which soon closes.
Umbreon: And now, they seek to return to the past, to... uh... erm... never mind. Thanks Aku, you may leave now. I heard Samurai Jack was heading for the local zombie-haunted graveyard.
Aku: Zombie-haunted graveyard?!
A smallish explosion, and Aku disappears.
Umbreon: Sucker...
Chapter 9: When KND Attacks (Part IV)
W.A.L.L.A.B.E.E. -- Warped Away, Lethally Lost, A Breakneck Experience, Eh?
Subject Identification Number: 10
Subject Identity: Emeraldeye
Other known Identities: Numbuh 7
Nationality: American
Appearance: 5 feet 4 inches tall, skinny buildup,long yellow hair, hazel eyes
Known likes/interests: Animals, computers, chocolate, writing, Kids Next Door, soda, hip-hop, television, drawing
Known dislikes/non-interests: Homework, being grounded, village people, mushrooms, vain people
Known strengths/weapons: Making people laugh, drawing, writing, dancing
Known weaknesses: Sugar, poetry, scallop allergy
Any other useful information: None so far.
Subject Identification Number: 14
Subject Identity: Wallabee Beatles
Other known Identities: Numbuh 4
Nationality: Australian-American
Appearance: 10-year-old, elliptical head, light skin, short-ish yellow hair, wears orange hooded shirt and
Known likes/interests: The Kids Next Door, physical combat, Numbuh 3
Known dislikes/non-interests: The Delightful Children From Down The Lane, anything considered sissy and feminine
Known strengths/weapons: Hand-to-hand combat
Known weaknesses: Being headstrong and Numbuh 3 (We should note that at this point while Jolteon was keying in this information he got thumped on the head by a very angry Numbuh 4, resulting in a lightning storm.)
Any other useful information: None so far, but rumours seem to state that he may have blood ties with one of the Delightful Children. See Operation TWINS written by Ookami No Shinpi.
As Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye travel through the portal they feel their bodies stretched into a similarity, flipped all about, and turned inside out for good measure. Someway or the other they separate on the journey. This part of the proceedings was put in the own words of Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye as our video camera technology is not yet advanced enough to be able to record clearly events happening in the fifth dimension. Enough for science, let's get on with the show...
With a very painful bump Numbuh 4 lands onto a sidewalk. Angrily he stands up and adjusts his hood.
Numbuh 4: Damnit! Now how the hell am I supposed to find Emeraldeye in all this?!
Grumbling, Numbuh 4 walks down the sidewalk, passing by many strange buildings and people -- oh, alright -- living things when suddenly...
*BUMP*
Numbuh 4: Oi! Why don't you look where you're going?!
The figure Numbuh 4 bumped into turns around slowly and glares at him menacingly. It is an old wizard with a long, white beard, his face wrinkled with time. He raises his gnarled fingers.
Several members of the public gasp in shock.
Sparks fly...
***
By the time Numbuh 4 gets his sense back he seems to have shrunk in size. For one thing the surroundings appeared larger than usual. And he found himself pecking the ground. Pecking? he thought.
Numbuh 4: What the **** is going on here?!
At least, that was what he had intended to say. A series of clucks rose from his beak. Just as he was gathering himself together, he heard another explosion.
Rushing over to see, he finds another confused chicken wearing the remains of a hat in the middle of the crater. Despite the fact that he is a natural blonde, he puts two and two together, and...
Numbuh 4: Puk puk puk puk puk, AWWWWWK!!! (OI! YOU STUPID WIZARD, COME BACK HERE AND CHANGE ME BACK INTO A HUMAN!)
Suddenly, a burly hand grabs Numbuh 4 by the neck.
Numbuh 4: PAWK! (Ow! Hey, what the--)
Captor: Ha, ha, ha! I know a good chicken when I see one.
Trapped in a cage, what will Chicken, sorry, Numbuh 4 do now?
Meanwhile, Emeraldeye is trying to look for Numbuh 4, when she hears the sound of disco dancing. She moves through a dark forest, until she discovers an entire crowd of teenagers dancing like there was no tomorrow.
Emeraldeye: Whee! Disco dancing!
As Emeraldeye starts to join the crowd, a strange figure stands behinds several loudspeakers and a CD player.
DJ: Children of Akuuuuuu!
Suddenly, the teenagers stop dancing, and their eyes begin glowing a dangerous crimson.
Emeraldeye: What?
DJ: Emeraldeye, is in the HOUUUUUUUSE!
Several thousand pairs of frowning eyes gaze upon Emeraldeye as she feels less and less sure of herself.
Emeraldeye: I think the party's over... EEP!
At the same time, Numbuh 4 finds himself trapped inside a cage, which is slowly being lowered down into a strange looking arena. Around the arena is a crowd of roaring, shouting people, waving banknotes in their hands.
Numbuh 4: Puk?
He gazes in front of him, where another cage has already been lowered down, and slowly opening, revealing a robotic weevil.
Numbuh 4: AWWWK! (ACCCK!)
As the beetle bot zooms towards him, he delivers a few sharp kicks and scratches with his newfound claws.
Numbuh 4: Puk puk puk puk puk! (Take THAT, Metalhead!)
Suffering several gashes in its metal wings, the robotic insect dives for a very unsuccessful crash, or should we say SMASH, landing. The crowd cheers wildly. Money is being emptied into a basket, held by Numbuh 4's captor.
Nubmuh 4: Puk puk puk? Puk puk, cock-a-doodle doo! (What the... Oh no! I'm a GLADIATOR chicken!)
Commentator: It's time for the free-for-all melee round, folks!
Numbuh 4 snaps out of his train of thought to find himself surrounded by a lethal lamprey, a sinister spider, a ravenous rat and an angry anaconda.
Numbuh 4: *thinking* Bionic versus biotic -- I am so cooked! Where the hell is Emeraldeye, anyway?
In the meantime, Emeraldeye was busy fighting off the mind-controlled teenagers.
Emeraldeye: HEY! Acneface!
A pimpled teenager, enraged, launches his fist at Emeraldeye and misses, hitting it against another girl's chest. She screams, grabs him by the collar, and throws him like a slingshot at Emeraldeye, who dodges. Kersmash goes a nearby loudspeaker.
Emeraldeye: I'd better get outta here -- whoa!
Emeraldeye finds herself pinned down, and receives several knuckle sandwiches from some other ravers.
Emeraldeye: No thanks, I already ate!
The pummeling teenagers stopped over a while, mulled over Emeraldeye's pun, giving her a chance to slip through. Weaving her way through loudspeakers and platforms she attempts to make a desperate escape, but couldn't dodge the lightstring lassoes fired by some more teenagers.
Emeraldeye: Oh, crap.
Just then, in the year 1 Million A.D....
Larry3000: Our mission today takes us to the year 5219 A.D., on the Euro-American continent.
Otto: Cool! It's Samurai Jack! He was the once responsible for defeating Aku, who in the year 1600 B.C. plunged the world into eternal darkness!
Buck: Yeah? Well what do we have to do, help him find his sword?
Larry3000: No... apparently he's behind his episode schedule!
In a modernised city in the year 5219 A.D., however, Jack was busy fighting off some Mantoids, when...
KERBLAM!
Otto: Jack! What are you still doing in Episode V?!
Larry3000: You're supposed to be in the Creature Combat Club right now in Episode XXVII!
Jack: What?
Buck: You heard the robot, now GIT!
Buck drags Jack along with him, who is too surprised and confused to strike back. Larry keys in another bunch of coordinates, and the four blast off in a blaze of light.
Space people: HEY! WHAT ABOUT US?!
KERBLAM!
Larry3000: We're in the middle of the city where our dear captor should be bringing Jack to the shops...
Jack: Bringing me? But I thought you were bringing me...
Suddenly, a well-clad person passes by -- it's Jack's should-have-been captor with Numbuh 4, but of course Jack and the Time Squad don't know that. On cue, the plump captor bumps into a familiar figure...
Captor: Hey! Can't you see you almost bumped into my champion?
The sparks begin to fly... *KRAKOW*
Captor: Puk! Puk puk puk!
Numbuh 4: Whoa... I thought I'd never get free from that coop. Damnit, I'm famished!
Jack/Time Squad: Huh?!
Larry3000: Well, I guess we'd better help this child obtain some nutrition... whoever he is.
Back to Emeraldeye in her disco dilemma. Currently she seems a little, er, tied up...
Emeraldeye: Damn, damn, damn! Where is that Numbuh 4 when you need 'im?
She attempts to break free from her lightstring ropes, but fails. Just then...
Numbuh 4: Unhand her, fiends!
DJ: Children of Akuuuuuu! Samurai Jack, Numbuh 4 and Time Squad, are in the houuuuuuuuse!
Emeraldeye: Alright, this is getting stupid.
Numbuh 4: Oi, punk! Gimme that lightstring.
Snatching a lightstring, Numbuh 4 thanks Lasso Lass for giving him a few lessons, and ropes the string onto an upstairs pipe.
Numbuh 4: I always wanted to do this... OOOOOooooOOOOOOOHHHHH!
Yelling like Tarzan, Numbuh 4 leaps down and rips Emeraldeye free from her bonds before cleanly leaping back to the same platform.
Emeraldeye: Oh, thanks Numbuh 4! *kisses Numbuh 4, who blushes*
Meanwhile, the Demonic DJ has already activated his loudspeaker robot, only to be thrashed upside-down by raver Jack. As the teenagers regain control of their minds, Jack says those famous words.
Jack: You have once been pawns of Aku's wickedness, but now you are free. Return to your homes and never dance to this evil beat again.
Buck: Well, mission accomplished. Let's go, gang.
Numbuh 4: Don't forget us! (Let go of me, Emeraldeye, I can't breathe!)
Back in Team Eeveeon headquarters...
KERBLAM!
Umbreon: So, I see you people made it back safely. And you brought visitors home, too!
Larry3000: It's all part of the job. See you some other time, Team Eeveeon.
KERBLAM!
Vaporeon: Well, I guess that means this tournament is over.
Flareon: What? They never even fought each other!
Numbuh 4: It will be over for her if she pecks me again on the --
*SMACK*
Numbuh 4: That does it!
*KLONK*
Umbreon: There was no need to knock her out, Numbuh 4.
Numbuh 4: Whoops. Sorry.
Umbreon: And THAT concludes yet another exciting round of When KND Attacks. Stay tuned for the final round, Dynasty San versus Numbuh 5!
Jolteon: Just as well. The Energy Orb Prison badly needs maintenance now.
Umbreon: What?! You idiots didn't really chuck her in the --
Just then, a huge clear ball of energy crashes through the door, with Dynasty San trapped inside.
Espeon: I couldn't stop her. She just tongue-thrashed me and I lost my concentration.
Umbreon: Oh, end this already.