Ah, yet another songfic. This time I've really dived into my folders and pulled out an old song from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical. It's called "Wish I Could Stay". I really like the song, and it seems to fit. So, without further ado…oh wait…-.- I've kind of forgotten to put disclaimers haven't I? Ok…
Disclaimer: Pointless…ok, ok, I'll bite! I DON'T OWN YGO OR ANY OF THE SONGS I USE!!! *sobs* I kindly thank you for not suing me.
~*~
* Lyrics for Yugi *
~ Lyrics for Yami ~
*~ Lyrics for both ~*
'…' thinking
"…" saying stuff out loud
~*~Flashback~*~
~*~
Now, on with the fic…
~*~*~*~
~ You're not ready for the world outside
You keep pretending but you just can't hide
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side
But I… ~
Yami sat on the concrete railing of the bridge and turned his gaze skyward. He smiled as he traced the constellations, entranced by their beauty. The heavens had always fascinated him. Odd, how they almost made him forget his troubles. He sighed, his only way of releasing all emotion pent up within him. It was a common known fact: Pharaohs don't cry. He'd promised…he'd promised his hikari that he'd never leave. But this was for his aibou's own good! Right? Right?!
~ Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill
And you can meet it, but you never will
And I'm the reason that you're standing still
But I… ~
Yugi had been having a hard time of it when he had completed the puzzle; he had truly needed Yami then. He needed someone to teach him confidence in himself, to simply pull him out of his own depression. He wasn't the same little boy he was before Duelist Kingdom now. He'd not only realized his strength, but he'd gotten stronger. He shouldn't need Yami anymore. And that's why he had to leave him.
~ I wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand
Wish I could stay
But now I understand
I'm standing in the way ~
Yami wanted to help him. He wanted to keep things exactly as they were. But this wasn't what was best for his aibou. Yugi needed to use some of that confidence and newfound strength to prove his worth. Not to Yami, heavens no, but to himself. Maybe it would be better if he went away. Not for good, just so Yugi could learn that he didn't need him as much as he thought.
It would hurt his aibou at first; Yami knew it. But it was imperative that Yugi learn to fend for himself. And as Yami was always fond of saying, there's no better time than the present.
~ The cries around you, you don't hear at all
Because you know I'm here to take that call
So you just lie there when you should be standing tall
But I… ~
He was so used to Yami standing up for him, that he'd forgotten how to stand up for himself. He knew that Yami would always protect him. But that just wasn't good enough. Yami knew he wouldn't be around forever.
As soon as Yugi's destiny was completed, as soon as Yami's memory was returned, the former pharaoh had no idea what was to happen. But it would be likely that he and his hikari's connection would be severed, and he might even disappear from existence all together. And then Yugi would have to learn to be alone again the hard way. It was far better to teach him now, when Yami could still come back to him.
~ I wish I could lay your arms down and let you rest at last
Wish I could slay your demons, but now that time has passed
Wish I could stay
Your stalwart standing fast
But I'm standing in the way
I'm just standing in the way… ~
That was the answer then. Go away. Far away. He didn't want to. Maybe Yugi did need him after all- no, it's for the best. Yugi could NOT rely on him any longer. If he left now, he'd be long gone by the time Yugi woke up. But he had to see him one last time…just one last time…
He climbed through the window into Yugi's bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. The mixture of the sudden weight and the creak of protest the bed had emitted cause Yugi's eyes to flutter open.
"Yami, what's going on? Why are you up? It's late…"
Yugi yawned, and Yami couldn't help but smile. He cared so much about his little light…and that's why he knew he had to go. Now.
"It's ok, Yugi. I just decided to go for a walk. Go on back to sleep."
"Ok, Yami…night…"
"Goodnight, hikari."
As soon as he was sure Yugi was asleep, he gently ran his fingers through Yugi's bangs. "Goodnight and goodbye…my tenshi." And at those words, Yami climbed back out the window, forcing himself not to look back.
* I'm under your spell
God, how can this be
Playing with my memory *
Yugi leaned against the willow tree in the far end of the park. His willow tree. He had once come here for comfort, to escape from his tormented life. But he hadn't needed it, not since he had completed the puzzle.
He had woken that morning to find Yami gone, vague memories of a gentle touch and a whispered goodbye plaguing his mind. He'd looked everywhere, only to end up here, content to just curl up in a ball and cry within the concealing curtain of branches.
* You know I've been through hell
Willow, don't you see
There'll be nothing left of me
You made me believe *
"Why did he leave? He knew I needed him…why would he just go? He made me think he cared about me, that he'd always be there for me. I feel like half of my own heart is gone…maybe he took that with him, too. Look at what this has done to me…I'm talking to a tree for the love of God!"
He laughed mirthlessly, feeling a slightly familiar pressure behind his eyes. It only took him moments to recognize what it was. Tears had been foreign to Yugi lately. But his old friends returned quickly, and as for now, they were the only comfort he could hope to receive. That and the rough bark of the willow against his back.
~ Believe me I don't want to go ~
Yami shivered. The sun was going down, and it was getting cold. It had really been a whole day since he left? Why was he doing this again? For Yugi. That's right, he was doing this for the good of his aibou. Yugi would understand, right? Of course he would. He had to understand. He always understood.
Yami smiled. 'Aren't you happy Yugi? No matter what I'm doing, no matter where I am, I'm thinking of you…'
*~ But we both know ~*
Yami leaned against a willow tree in exhaustion. He heard strangely familiar crying behind him and gasped. He glanced around the trunk, seeing his little hikari rubbing tears from his eyes. 'It's for his own good…remember, it's for his own good…'
Yugi exhaled slowly, trying to stop his tears from coming. He raised his gaze and watched as the sun set slowly beneath the huge skyscrapers of Domino. "Maybe it's good he left. He needs to search for his answers on his own. I wasn't much help anyway. It's better this way…"
~ Wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land ~
It was killing him to see Yugi so broken up. He was supposed to keep him from going through any pain, not cause it. He rose and sat back down several times before mentally slapping himself. 'No, you can't take care of him anymore. He needs to help himself now. It's not your life to live.'
* I wish I could trust that it was just this once
But I must do what I must *
Yugi discovered that ceasing his sobbing was much harder than he expected. "He did do that to Kaiba…I shouldn't trust him anyway. He could do it again." Yugi sighed and shook his head, taking a deep breath. "What am I saying. I can't forget about him…ever."
~ Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand ~
'Oh, Yugi…what have I done?! I'm sorry hikari…I'm so sorry…but this is a lesson you have to learn! I know it isn't easy, but I don't have a choice! I'll come back. I promise.'
He fought off the burning sensation behind his eyes, something he hadn't even come close to feeling in over five thousand years. 'I don't know if this means anything to you now, but this is tearing me apart, too.' Yami stood silently, took one last look at his aibou, and disappeared into the quickly oncoming night.
* I can't adjust to this disgust
We're done and I just *
"It's dark; I need to go home. Maybe he'll be there…" Yugi sighed and shook his head. "I need to stop giving myself false hope. He's gone…oh my God, he's really gone…" And the tiny form collapsed into itself, sobbing away what was left of its tears and grasping vainly for any source of comfort. Slowly but surely, he cried himself to sleep.
~ Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay ~
~*~ Yugi clutched the puzzle tightly, tears cutting clear tunnels in his angelic features. Yami sat silently beside him, unsure of what he should do. "What if I can't do it?! What if I fail again?! I'll let down my Grandpa…the Kaibas…you…"
Yami placed a hand on the puzzle, over Yugi's. "No, aibou. You won't fail." Yugi wiped his face on his sleeve. "How can you be so sure?!" Yami chuckled lightly. "I'm not. But I have faith in you, Yugi. And I'll always be here to help you."
Yugi's large eyes shone with adoration. "Really? You won't leave me?" Yami lowered his own crimson orbs. "Maybe for a little while, but never for long. You have my promise." ~*~
Yugi awoke with a start, finally establishing where he was and what was going on. He stood and began his walk home, Yami's words ringing in his head.
"Maybe for a little while, but never for long. You have my promise."
The young bearer of the puzzle looked into the face of the rising sun with a saddened smile. "See you later, Yami."
~Owari~
And there goes another songfic! Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and yes, I did morph that scene with Yugi crying a little. I know that didn't really happen like that, but I just had to get the promise thing in there. R/R! Ja ne, readers!
Disclaimer: Pointless…ok, ok, I'll bite! I DON'T OWN YGO OR ANY OF THE SONGS I USE!!! *sobs* I kindly thank you for not suing me.
~*~
* Lyrics for Yugi *
~ Lyrics for Yami ~
*~ Lyrics for both ~*
'…' thinking
"…" saying stuff out loud
~*~Flashback~*~
~*~
Now, on with the fic…
~*~*~*~
~ You're not ready for the world outside
You keep pretending but you just can't hide
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side
But I… ~
Yami sat on the concrete railing of the bridge and turned his gaze skyward. He smiled as he traced the constellations, entranced by their beauty. The heavens had always fascinated him. Odd, how they almost made him forget his troubles. He sighed, his only way of releasing all emotion pent up within him. It was a common known fact: Pharaohs don't cry. He'd promised…he'd promised his hikari that he'd never leave. But this was for his aibou's own good! Right? Right?!
~ Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill
And you can meet it, but you never will
And I'm the reason that you're standing still
But I… ~
Yugi had been having a hard time of it when he had completed the puzzle; he had truly needed Yami then. He needed someone to teach him confidence in himself, to simply pull him out of his own depression. He wasn't the same little boy he was before Duelist Kingdom now. He'd not only realized his strength, but he'd gotten stronger. He shouldn't need Yami anymore. And that's why he had to leave him.
~ I wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand
Wish I could stay
But now I understand
I'm standing in the way ~
Yami wanted to help him. He wanted to keep things exactly as they were. But this wasn't what was best for his aibou. Yugi needed to use some of that confidence and newfound strength to prove his worth. Not to Yami, heavens no, but to himself. Maybe it would be better if he went away. Not for good, just so Yugi could learn that he didn't need him as much as he thought.
It would hurt his aibou at first; Yami knew it. But it was imperative that Yugi learn to fend for himself. And as Yami was always fond of saying, there's no better time than the present.
~ The cries around you, you don't hear at all
Because you know I'm here to take that call
So you just lie there when you should be standing tall
But I… ~
He was so used to Yami standing up for him, that he'd forgotten how to stand up for himself. He knew that Yami would always protect him. But that just wasn't good enough. Yami knew he wouldn't be around forever.
As soon as Yugi's destiny was completed, as soon as Yami's memory was returned, the former pharaoh had no idea what was to happen. But it would be likely that he and his hikari's connection would be severed, and he might even disappear from existence all together. And then Yugi would have to learn to be alone again the hard way. It was far better to teach him now, when Yami could still come back to him.
~ I wish I could lay your arms down and let you rest at last
Wish I could slay your demons, but now that time has passed
Wish I could stay
Your stalwart standing fast
But I'm standing in the way
I'm just standing in the way… ~
That was the answer then. Go away. Far away. He didn't want to. Maybe Yugi did need him after all- no, it's for the best. Yugi could NOT rely on him any longer. If he left now, he'd be long gone by the time Yugi woke up. But he had to see him one last time…just one last time…
He climbed through the window into Yugi's bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. The mixture of the sudden weight and the creak of protest the bed had emitted cause Yugi's eyes to flutter open.
"Yami, what's going on? Why are you up? It's late…"
Yugi yawned, and Yami couldn't help but smile. He cared so much about his little light…and that's why he knew he had to go. Now.
"It's ok, Yugi. I just decided to go for a walk. Go on back to sleep."
"Ok, Yami…night…"
"Goodnight, hikari."
As soon as he was sure Yugi was asleep, he gently ran his fingers through Yugi's bangs. "Goodnight and goodbye…my tenshi." And at those words, Yami climbed back out the window, forcing himself not to look back.
* I'm under your spell
God, how can this be
Playing with my memory *
Yugi leaned against the willow tree in the far end of the park. His willow tree. He had once come here for comfort, to escape from his tormented life. But he hadn't needed it, not since he had completed the puzzle.
He had woken that morning to find Yami gone, vague memories of a gentle touch and a whispered goodbye plaguing his mind. He'd looked everywhere, only to end up here, content to just curl up in a ball and cry within the concealing curtain of branches.
* You know I've been through hell
Willow, don't you see
There'll be nothing left of me
You made me believe *
"Why did he leave? He knew I needed him…why would he just go? He made me think he cared about me, that he'd always be there for me. I feel like half of my own heart is gone…maybe he took that with him, too. Look at what this has done to me…I'm talking to a tree for the love of God!"
He laughed mirthlessly, feeling a slightly familiar pressure behind his eyes. It only took him moments to recognize what it was. Tears had been foreign to Yugi lately. But his old friends returned quickly, and as for now, they were the only comfort he could hope to receive. That and the rough bark of the willow against his back.
~ Believe me I don't want to go ~
Yami shivered. The sun was going down, and it was getting cold. It had really been a whole day since he left? Why was he doing this again? For Yugi. That's right, he was doing this for the good of his aibou. Yugi would understand, right? Of course he would. He had to understand. He always understood.
Yami smiled. 'Aren't you happy Yugi? No matter what I'm doing, no matter where I am, I'm thinking of you…'
*~ But we both know ~*
Yami leaned against a willow tree in exhaustion. He heard strangely familiar crying behind him and gasped. He glanced around the trunk, seeing his little hikari rubbing tears from his eyes. 'It's for his own good…remember, it's for his own good…'
Yugi exhaled slowly, trying to stop his tears from coming. He raised his gaze and watched as the sun set slowly beneath the huge skyscrapers of Domino. "Maybe it's good he left. He needs to search for his answers on his own. I wasn't much help anyway. It's better this way…"
~ Wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land ~
It was killing him to see Yugi so broken up. He was supposed to keep him from going through any pain, not cause it. He rose and sat back down several times before mentally slapping himself. 'No, you can't take care of him anymore. He needs to help himself now. It's not your life to live.'
* I wish I could trust that it was just this once
But I must do what I must *
Yugi discovered that ceasing his sobbing was much harder than he expected. "He did do that to Kaiba…I shouldn't trust him anyway. He could do it again." Yugi sighed and shook his head, taking a deep breath. "What am I saying. I can't forget about him…ever."
~ Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand ~
'Oh, Yugi…what have I done?! I'm sorry hikari…I'm so sorry…but this is a lesson you have to learn! I know it isn't easy, but I don't have a choice! I'll come back. I promise.'
He fought off the burning sensation behind his eyes, something he hadn't even come close to feeling in over five thousand years. 'I don't know if this means anything to you now, but this is tearing me apart, too.' Yami stood silently, took one last look at his aibou, and disappeared into the quickly oncoming night.
* I can't adjust to this disgust
We're done and I just *
"It's dark; I need to go home. Maybe he'll be there…" Yugi sighed and shook his head. "I need to stop giving myself false hope. He's gone…oh my God, he's really gone…" And the tiny form collapsed into itself, sobbing away what was left of its tears and grasping vainly for any source of comfort. Slowly but surely, he cried himself to sleep.
~ Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay ~
~*~ Yugi clutched the puzzle tightly, tears cutting clear tunnels in his angelic features. Yami sat silently beside him, unsure of what he should do. "What if I can't do it?! What if I fail again?! I'll let down my Grandpa…the Kaibas…you…"
Yami placed a hand on the puzzle, over Yugi's. "No, aibou. You won't fail." Yugi wiped his face on his sleeve. "How can you be so sure?!" Yami chuckled lightly. "I'm not. But I have faith in you, Yugi. And I'll always be here to help you."
Yugi's large eyes shone with adoration. "Really? You won't leave me?" Yami lowered his own crimson orbs. "Maybe for a little while, but never for long. You have my promise." ~*~
Yugi awoke with a start, finally establishing where he was and what was going on. He stood and began his walk home, Yami's words ringing in his head.
"Maybe for a little while, but never for long. You have my promise."
The young bearer of the puzzle looked into the face of the rising sun with a saddened smile. "See you later, Yami."
~Owari~
And there goes another songfic! Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and yes, I did morph that scene with Yugi crying a little. I know that didn't really happen like that, but I just had to get the promise thing in there. R/R! Ja ne, readers!