andie: well…it's supposed to add to the suspense factor, I hope that didn't mean that you were bored with the story though… x_x
yukie-chan: wow, thank you so much! -^^- I hope that I don't disappoint!
klyukaizer: it's okay, just as long as you like it, I'm happy ^-^
Scarlets: ah! ::had a bad experience with lightening:: ^^; well, here is the next chapter for ya!
sotty-emoutochan: thanks for reading it, little sister. I'm hoping that it wasn't incredibly boring for you…
Fanny chan: wah…arigatou! -^^-
Elle-FaTe2x1: of course you're going to find out…::evil grin::
sherbie: glad you like it! It's my pride and joy! -^^-
Lexa: heh, I like the way you think. And yeah, school is a pain, but I still have to be there until the 17th, sadly.
Many thanks to those who liked the "worried bon to a second death" line, it is muchly appreciated! ^__^
Disclaimer: sadly, I am poor, and have no money, so don't sue me, because Matsushita-san is the only one who has legal reign over these charas…I just get to mess with their minds…mwahaha!
Ahem…anyway, a major turning point in this chapter. Enjoy!
Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 5
Hisoka sighed. For the fourth day in a row, his partner hadn't come back on time. By the second day, Hisoka gave up going to look for him. It wasted time, and only caused more uncomfortable situations between them than usual.
Having finished the stack of papers he needed to get done, Hisoka sat back in his chair and stretched. He didn't know what to think anymore. Capping his pen, he reached for the mug of tea sitting on his desk. Or rather, where the tea should've been, if he hadn't finished it already. Frowning, he stood up, and decided to go get some more tea.
On the way out the door, the thought crossed him; what if Tsuzuki came back to an empty office? Hisoka, having had enough of Tsuzuki's secretive nature, snorted at that, and exited the room, heading towards the break room. Let Tsuzuki wonder where he was. He was tired of worrying about his elder partner.
Emotion was something that didn't come from the emerald-eyed boy very easily, yet it was almost unstoppable when it came to his partner. After living his life trying to ignore how he felt (and succeeding, for the most part), to feel this much for one person was wearing him down.
Tsuzuki was being reckless, and not like himself. And almost everyone in the office (Kanoe, Tatsumi, Watari, Wakaba, Hisoka, and even Terazuma) seemed to notice it. Everyone, that is, except for Tsuzuki himself.
Upon reaching the room, Hisoka brought his mug over to the kettle and poured some hot water in it, before grabbing a tea bag and putting it in, wishing that there were real tea, but not questioning it, knowing JuOhCho's tight budget.
Sighing, he started to head back to his office before stopping. He had done all the paperwork he'd planned to get done before lunch, yet there was still an hour until his lunch break rolled around. He had enough time to go to the lounge and read for a while before he had to go back to writing.
Walking to the lounge, he picked a nice, big, comforting and inviting sofa in the middle of the room, glancing around timidly before picking up a random book and sitting down to read it.
It wasn't long, though, before a rather rambunctious blonde scientist broke his silent atmosphere.
"Bon! I didn't think anyone would be in here…usually it's only me, when I can pull myself away from the lab…" he said, almost rambling.
"Hello, Watari-san," Hisoka said, jumping at the sound of the man's voice. "I was just…reading here, because the paperwork is finished. I'm sorry if I invaded your space or something; I could leave if you want me to…"
"No! This is a place for all of us, and besides, you are actually good company, Hisoka, despite what you may think."
That comment caused the boy to blush slightly, but he kept his composure as he subtly hid his blush behind the mug of tea.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two, a certain shinigami awoke from his light nap in the armchair facing the window…the opposite direction of the door and the couch.
"So, bon, how are you doing?" Watari asked casually, not wanting to intrude but feeling the need to ask anyway.
"Well, since we're not on case anymore, there's only this paperwork, which is kind of monotonous, but—"
"No, that's not what I asked," interrupted Watari. "How are you, bon?"
Hisoka seemed startled at that question, and for a few moments, he could do nothing but gape at Watari. No one ever asked him things like that, no one but Tsuzuki anyway.
"I—I'm…" he stuttered. 'Calm down, Hisoka, this is Watari. Talk to him, he's concerned,' he thought to himself. "I guess that I'm all right. I could be better. It's just…emotions here lately have been running high, and it's just…tiring…I guess."
"I know what you mean," said Watari. "Not in the same sense, but you don't have to be empathic to feel the tenseness in the air. What with Tsuzuki back like he is and all…"
Back…? For a second, Hisoka blinked at Watari. What did he mean? "Back, Watari-san…?" he asked quietly.
Watari regarded him for a second. "You are the newest shinigami, so I guess that means I'll have to explain this to you. You see, right around when Tatsumi was Tsuzuki's partner, Tsuzuki had the same problem. He couldn't take the fact that he continued to live while he killed others. You know Tsuzuki, he just…is almost too caring for this job…" Watari said, trailing off.
It took Hisoka a few moments to process this. It had happened before? How…why? He still didn't understand, and he knew that Watari wasn't going to tell him all that he knew.
"Demo…he's powerful. Everyone loves him. Why does he feel like this?" asked Hisoka, trying to set things straight in his mind.
"It's because everyone loves him, that's why. Don't you see, bon, it's because you saved him."
"He's tired, he's not eating, forcing himself to pretend to be happy, and not taking care of himself. It hurts, Watari-san. He won't even let me know what's wrong…I thought he trusted me," Hisoka said, looking down.
"He does trust you, bon, more than any of us. But that still doesn't mean that he'll let you in on anything. Hell, even I had to do a cast amount of hacking into the database before I found out all the details about him, and I'm not some beginner hacker!" he exclaimed.
"He'll get better, though, bon. He always does. He has his up's and down's, yet he's always come out shining in the end."
"No he hasn't! He still is hurt by all of those cases, he hasn't forgiven himself about that Sagaatanasu case no matter what I say! He's just getting worse!" Hisoka said, obviously becoming distraught.
With those words, Watari saw something in Hisoka that made him obviously believe him. He could see the pain in his eyes as he had said those words.
"But bon…he'll be fine…"
"No! He's not getting better! He's not going to get better! He's not fine at all!" Hisoka said, trying hard to keep the tears in his voice out of his eyes.
Tsuzuki couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, he got up out of the chair, and turned to face Watari and Hisoka.
Watari was surprised at that, to say the least. "Tsu—Tsuzuki!" he gasped.
"Why are you guys so concerned? Honestly, I'm fine…" he said slowly, trying to hold as much emotion in as he could.
"Ha! Don't make me laugh! You're not 'fine' at all, everyone can see that!" Hisoka exclaimed, trying his hardest to keep the tears of frustration in.
"But…I am fine…-"
"Stop! Just stop!" Hisoka yelled. "Tsuzuki, when's the last time you smiled. Not just forced, when's the last time you were truly happy? Or the last time you ate a full meal? Or the last time you slept the whole night?" he asked, his voice beginning to crack.
"What are you talking about? This morning I—"
"No, Tsuzuki…stop lying to me! God damn it, Tsuzuki, I can't stand it when you lie! I can feel at least some of what you're feeling, I'm not totally oblivious, you know! And what I can feel, it hurts…you're not fine. God damn it, Tsuzuki, you're not fine at all!!" he screamed, his voice breaking on the last words as the previously held tears finally escaped from their floodgates and filled his eyes, trailing down his cheeks to quickly form tracks.
Watari, who had previously been watching on, could only gawk. This was an argument that had been brewing for some time between the two, and to interfere would only make things worse than they already were. He could just watch on helplessly as they tore each other apart.
Tsuzuki took a few steps backward, horrified at what Hisoka had said. "N—no… I'm not lying… Y—you don't understand… You don't understand!! How could you…? I--…" He took another step back, shaking his head, tears coming to his eyes as well. "…No…" he said again quietly, although his voice was flat and devoid of his usual vibrant emotion.
Watari watched helplessly as Hisoka and Tsuzuki progressed on their own little paths toward hysterics, and he was about to interfere, when the door opened and he was met with surprised cerulean blue eyes.
Tatsumi, once again, was on a routine check of the building between paperwork. Of course, recently that translated to "go find Tsuzuki and get him to go back to Kurosaki-kun", which was starting to get to him.
Walking down the hallway, he could almost feel the tension in the air long before he heard the yelling and screaming. Approaching the room, he identified the voices to be those of Tsuzuki's, and his partner's. Ah, well…at least when Tsuzuki was upset with Kurosaki-kun, the building wouldn't be badly damaged…
He was about to walk past the room, when a thought struck him. Tsuzuki upset with Kurosaki-kun? Tsuzuki yelling and screaming at the boy? No, something was definitely wrong there. Without hesitating, he opened the door to meet the scene before his eyes.
Tsuzuki glanced up at Tatsumi, the tears running down his face. Tatsumi…he'd be the one to save him, to dig him out like he always did. Hisoka, meanwhile, was doing little but sobbing at this point, as the walls that Tsuzuki usually had up were basically gone, and his fears of what might actually be in Tsuzuki came true with each new, painful emotion to come.
Tsuzuki stumbled towards Tatsumi, what little grace he had before being gone now.
"Tatsumi…tell them they're lying…and I'm not. Tell them that I'm fine, Tatsumi. Tell them that I'm fine," Tsuzuki said, taking hold of the front of Tatsumi's suit jacket.
Tatsumi held his ground admirably. He didn't ever want to see Tsuzuki cry, but this had gone on far too long. Glancing down, away from Tsuzuki, he replied to him.
"I can not lie to them for you forever, Tsuzuki-san. There are only so many times when you are actually 'fine'," Tatsumi said, his cold blue eyes devoid of the pain that he felt.
"…No…" Tsuzuki said. "…No…No! No!!" He stepped back, shaking. "Oh god, this isn't happening, it isn't…nononono…" His breathing got heavier and heavier, and it became evident that he was hyperventilating.
"Tsuzuki-san, calm down," Tatsumi said coolly. "Don't worry, we're here. We know that you aren't 'fine', but—"
"That's just it! God, you know, of all people, you know. Isn't that what you people are always saying? 'Tsuzuki, you're such an idiot, I don't know how I put up with you.' God, if you really hate me, just tell me! None of you cared before, why should you care now?!" he yelled, his beautiful amethyst eyes filling yet again with tears, his breath growing more unsteady by the minute.
Tatsumi didn't know how to take that. For the first time in his life, he was lost for words.
Taking Tatsumi's silence to be acceptance, Tsuzuki continued. "…You really don't ever care at all, do you? 'Oops, another shinigami down the drain', that's all you look at! Why won't you all just leave me alone…why can't you all…just…leave me…" And with that, Tsuzuki Asato passed out.
Luckily enough for him, Tatsumi had been standing nearby and was fast enough to catch him. Tatsumi gently picked the amethyst-eyed man up, and brushed a piece of hair out of his face. Tsuzuki was surprisingly light, or at least more so than a man of his size should be. Tatsumi frowned at that.
"Watari-san," Tatsumi said, snapping the said blonde scientist out of a daze. "I'm taking Tsuzuki-san over to the infirmary, will you see what you can do for Kurosaki-kun?" And without waiting for an answer, he left.
Watari turned to Hisoka, who had shrunken to the floor sometime during the ordeal. The boy was sobbing as if he had had his heart ripped out, and Watari knew that nothing he could do would ease the pain of the truth of emotions. Yet he gathered the sobbing boy into his arms, and held him anyway.
''None of you cared before, why should you care now'? Tsuzuki, have you really lost your faith in us? In your partner?
'He cares more than you think,' echoed through his mind as he sat on the floor of the lounge, cradling the broken heart of a broken boy in his arms.
End of Chapter 5
Wow…I think that's the first time I've ever been completely happy with my writing…I hope you all liked this chapter as much as I did. ^-^
Remember to review, as your comments are the only thing that is keeping this going! Tell me what you think! I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker, if enough of you review soon…