Author's Note: My personal thanks to…
yukie-chan: I know…I tend to kind of push Hisoka a little…but I can't help it. ^^; Sorry, 'soka-chan!
klyukaizer: Ahem, correction. I tend to pick on them both. What can I say, I like shinigami angst. ^^;
kurai: why, thank you. ^-^
Lexa: Well, that's probably because I'm crazy as well. ^_~ And I do enjoy their suffering, it's what makes a good plot better. And about that happy ending…I'll think about it. Can't give you any guarantees though. ::is evil::
Joni Quest: ah, the fun part. Well, sorry it took so long, but it's here now… ^^;
sotty-chan: yes, the angst category is not a lie. ^^;
Nini: wai! Another sucker/fangirl for Hisoka Pain! XD; thanks for liking it!
Yanagi-sen, shadowgal, yukie_chan: well, here's your update. Read and enjoy! ^-^
Miname: Yes, that was the point that I was trying to get across. If you just wanted nothing more than to die, you can't snap out of it just like that. More writing is here.
Selah: That's good. If there's one thing that I can't stand, it's a writer's block. I have all these ideas, but then they never seem to flow right. That's partially the reason for this delay in chapter update. ::looks sheepish:: Anywho, enjoy!
MYA!: erm…it's continued… ^^; ::is frightened of that old man::
Frank: well, here you go, the next chapter. I probably wouldn't have finished it if it hadn't been for your answering that question of mine. So please stop shaking me, and read the next chapter. ^^;
I am absolutely SO sorry for not having this chapter done sooner. There was a lot on my mind, and with all of these things for school and work going on. Although, ironically, I did finish this at work, but that's beside the point… ::bows:: Thanks to all the support though, that was what kept me going. I'll try not to be this late in updates again, but I still need your support! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I am poor, and I havu no mahney, so don't sue me. ^^; Matsushita-sensei is the only one who has legal reign over these charas…I just get to mess with their minds…mwahaha!
Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 6
Tatsumi carefully carried Tsuzuki into the infirmary and set him down on a bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin to see that he didn't get cold. Tsuzuki needed rest, and this was the result that he got after neglecting himself like that.
Tatsumi pulled up a chair next to Tsuzuki's bed, and thought about the best way to handle this. The situation in the office can only get worse, since Tsuzuki was steadily going downhill, not up. And he seriously doubted that Hisoka could withstand any more confrontations of this sort. Just from what he'd seen, the boy obviously cared about the shinigami, and was willing to throw everything aside just so that Tsuzuki could be happy with him.
Keeping the two of them in the office would be a bad idea, he could see that immediately. As for what to have them do, they would have to sort things out on their own if they wanted to have anything fixed.
Looking at Tsuzuki's face, Tatsumi saw a tired expression there, one full of pain and wisdom, hardened and sad, so unlike the genki man that had been there before.
Tatsumi wanted to take all of that away from him, to let him rest and be content at last. He wanted to be there to comfort and cherish the life that the man before him had hidden inside. He just wanted Tsuzuki.
Reaching out a hand, Tatsumi brushed a few strands of chocolate brown hair out of Tsuzuki's eyes, before moving his hand to caress the silky smooth skin of Tsuzuki's face. Perfect, everything about him, even now, through all of this. Tatsumi's eyes traveled to linger on Tsuzuki's lips, pink, contrasting his currently pale complexion drastically. Just for once, Tatsumi's logic was overwhelmed with his desire towards the man in front of him. Just once, Tatsumi wanted to feel those soft lips on his, even if Tsuzuki never knew. It was almost better that way.
Leaning forward over Tsuzuki, Tatsumi hesitated. He felt guilty that he could only have the courage during a situation such as this one. Closing his eyes, Tatsumi brought his face towards Tsuzuki's, until their lips were inches apart. Just this once…just this once…
Tatsumi's desires were shattered as the infirmary door could be heard, bringing him to his senses and snapping him up, away from Tsuzuki. From behind the door emerged Watari, carrying a smaller, hiccupping and very tired Hisoka.
Watari nodded to Tatsumi, seeing Tsuzuki in the bed before walking to the one next to it. Laying Hisoka down, he almost had to literally pry Hisoka's hands from around his neck. Large, almost child-like tired green eyes blinked wearily at him.
Hisoka felt drained. The lack of shields around Tsuzuki nearly knocked him out right then and there. Watari had been the one to calm him down, telling him things he couldn't remember, but had seemed important and helpful at the time, and in his current state, he needed a firm hold on comfort.
Watari could see that in Hisoka's expression immediately after he let go of the boy. "Don't worry," he reassured him, "I'll be right here, so will Tatsumi. It's all right, bon, you need some rest. We'll stay right here."
Hisoka's bleary gaze shifted from Watari to Tatsumi, before he nodded slightly, and obediently shut his eyes. Almost immediately after Hisoka's slight fear of being left alone subsided, he fell into a deep sleep.
Watari regarded the sleeping boy for a few seconds, before he pulled up a chair between the beds, next to Tatsumi's, and collapsed in it, sighing deeply.
"Watari-san, I would like an explanation of all of what just happened, if you please…" Tatsumi inquired, after a few moments of leaving Watari to his thoughts.
In a very brief description, Watari explained that they had been discussing Tsuzuki, not knowing that he was in the room, so naturally, he was upset. Eventually, Tsuzuki's emotions made Hisoka upset too, and shortly after was when Tatsumi had entered.
Nodding slightly, Tatsumi thought into the situation. It was bound to have happened sometime, so he wasn't exactly surprised. Yet he still had to find a solution to this.
There wasn't a definite one. This had been boiling for a long time, but he had never actually thought that it would, so a solution wasn't easy to find.
"We have to do something…" he said, voicing his thoughts. But what? It was almost too personal for Tsuzuki. They couldn't just flat out give him advice, or ask him to tell them what was wrong. And trusting him to tell them on his own was beyond questioning. You had to be close to Tsuzuki for that. Very close. But who was that?
After a few moments thought, the answer hit him. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner? The one who knows Tsuzuki the best is Hisoka. Not because they've known each other for a long time, or because they were both easygoing spirits, or because he knew about his past.
It's because he cared. Because he was the one who saved him from the flames of Kyoto, not in the physical sense, but mentally, he did give him a reason to live for. That didn't mean that Tsuzuki wanted to live, or even knew what to do with himself. It just meant that he had a reason, and ironically, that reason kept him alive, and would probably save him from himself.
Yet it was all up to Hisoka. He had to agree to help, and without his help, they were right where they started, if not worse off.
Tatsumi was broken out of his thoughts as Tsuzuki shifted restlessly. By the looks of it, Tsuzuki hadn't really slept at all, wearing himself out until he passed out, and only then did he rest. It also looked like he would wake up soon, but he needed to stay asleep.
"Tsuzuki doesn't look that good…" Watari observed, as if reading Tatsumi's thoughts. It was true, now that Tsuzuki's shining eyes and ever-present smile weren't there, Watari could point out the dark circles under his eyes. It was a wonder that he had hidden that much from them, or was it just that they didn't notice…?
"…Watari-san…do you think that you could give him something to keep him asleep for a little longer. It'd be better for him, as well as the fact that I want to speak with Kurosaki-kun before Tsuzuki wakes up, and Kurosaki himself…" he trailed off, motioning to the sleeping boy in the bed next to them.
Watari nodded. "I'm sure that I have just the right thing for him. It'll keep him here at least until tonight, which should give you plenty of time."
"Good," Tatsumi said, standing up. "I'll be in my office then. When Kurosaki-kun wakes up and is feeling better, tell him that I want to speak with him." And with that, Tatsumi left the infirmary, to go beck to his paperwork, almost as if nothing had happened, and his routine check was uneventful.
Hisoka blinked his eyes open to find that he was in the infirmary again, as he recognized the pattern on the tiles of the ceiling from before. Turning, he saw Tsuzuki, who was sleeping like a rock in the bed next to him. Somehow, that seemed totally unnatural to him.
"Don't worry about him, he'll be out for a while," Watari said, surprising the boy out of his drowsy reverie. "How are you feeling, bon?" he asked.
Hisoka shifted to look at Watari, sitting in the chair between their beds. He vaguely remembered being carried there by Watari, and a promise of staying right there. Obviously, Watari kept his promises.
Sitting up slowly, Hisoka checked to see if he was all right. He didn't have a headache like he normally would've, but that would be Watari's doing. "I'm all right," he concluded, after making sure.
"Good. Then Tatsumi wants to talk to you. He should be in his office, if you feel up to it at the moment…" Watari said, slowly getting up from the chair.
Hisoka slowly stood up as well. What did Tatsumi want to seem him for? Did he want to reprimand him for the situation earlier, and his poor handling of his empathy? Did he want an explanation for it all? Hisoka didn't want to appear weak, therefore he gave his answer. "I'm going to see Tatsumi-san then…"
And with that, he walked out the door.
Tatsumi, like he had said, was sitting in his office, doing paperwork. Since he was the only one to usually be in his office, he had removed his jacket, and loosened his tie a fraction, but not so much as he appeared unprofessional.
Looking around his office, most people wouldn't be that surprised. The room reflected the person who worked there. Neat file cabinets, a stiff, brown wooden desk with piles on it, not a single paper out of pile, pens and pencils in strategically placed mugs around the desktop. In the corner of the office, there stood a small plant in a pottery, reaching around three feet, carefully trimmed and watered. Behind the door, there was a coat stand, where his suit jacket was hanging from. It was all stiff, organized, and professional. It was all Tatsumi.
Upon hearing a timid knock on the doorframe (as he had left the door open) he didn't even have to look up to know whom it was. Hisoka. He didn't have to look up to know why he was there. Because he had asked for him. And he needn't look up to know one more thing, that the thought of a one on one talk with himself was making the boy tremble.
"Come in, Kurosaki-kun," he said, gesturing to a chair across from his desk, before capping his pen and putting the paperwork away, to finally bring his gaze up to the boy.
Hisoka timidly stepped into the office, shutting the door behind him. He could tell that Tatsumi meant business when he asked him to come there. When he asked anyone, as a matter of fact. Tatsumi was just a business type of person.
"You wanted to see me…" hisoka said, awkwardly sitting down in the chair. There was something in the way that Tatsumi was so professional, it made him uncomfortable. It almost felt that if he messed up even once, not only was he probing that he was too young to do this work, but it also gave the other workers a reason to make fun of him.
"You can probably guess what I wanted to talk to you about," Tatsumi said, causing Hisoka's stomach to do somersaults. For a second, he was seriously worried about his job. It was true that Tsuzuki had done far worse, but it was also true that Tsuzuki had special connections with Enma, which were kept under tight wraps. Hisoka nodded slightly.
"I want to make a proposition with you. About Tsuzuki-san." Whatever Hisoka had been expecting, it hadn't been that.
"A…proposition about Tsuzuki…?" he asked, almost surprised. Tatsumi nodded, confirming Hisoka's question. But why? What could he possible do for Tsuzuki?
"I want you to help me…help everyone. Let's just get down to it. You, and everyone really, know that Tsuzuki-san hasn't been himself lately. You warned Watari-san and I that he might not be the same, and you were right. If he continues on like this, not only is he a distraction to the workers in this office, a stall in the paperwork and work in general, but he's also a danger to himself."
"Excuse me for saying so, Tatsumi-san, but all of this has been evident, as you've said. I don't know where you're aiming with this…" Hisoka said, an obviously curious expression playing across his features.
Tatsumi paused at this. He had to think of the best possible way to get this across to the boy. Any wrong step, and this whole situation could blow up.
"Fine then. What I'm saying is that we need a way to get Tsuzuki back to himself, or rather, a way to get him to open up to at least one person. So he has some rational thought, and he isn't acting upon whim. We need someone to keep him in check, know his every thought, his every emotion," he added, eyeing Hisoka very seriously.
"…You're asking me to try to do that…aren't you. Asking me to try and get him to open up. It's impossible, Tatsumi-san, I can't help you."
"Yes you can, Kurosaki-kun. He trusts you the most out of all of us—"
"Why? He's known you for longer, why can't you try and get him to tell you what's wrong with him?" Hisoka inquired.
"Kurosaki-kun, as I've told you before, you are the only one for him. You told me before that the next time you would be the one there to comfort him. Well, now's your chance." Tatsumi looked at Hisoka, an almost pleading look in his eyes. He would try to help Tsuzuki if he didn't know that his efforts would be to no avail.
Hisoka completely ignored the expression. "How can I be the only one for him? He doesn't trust me anymore than he trusts you, how are you sure he feels otherwise?"
"Kurosaki-kun, who was the one to rescue him from those fires? Not physically, but making him want to come back to sanity? It certainly wasn't me," Tatsumi said tiredly.
"I might have gotten him back, but I certainly haven't rescued him from himself! Tatsumi-san, he still hates himself, now more than ever! It hurts just being near him and knowing that he feels differently than what he appears to! I can't handle his emotions, don't you see!? I can't save him! Even if I'm the only one who might be able to, I can't do it!" Hisoka was obviously frustrated.
Tatsumi put his head in his hands. He had hoped that it wouldn't have to come to this, but he had no other choice.
"Hisoka…" he said, using his first name to be clear he was deadly serious. "If you don't at least try, than he'll remain this…he'll continue to sink further into depression…"
Hisoka's expression remained stubborn, but tears came to his eyes. "I can't do it," he said flatly.
Tatsumi's voice became deadly monotonous. "If he can't continue the duties of a shinigami, than he'll be fired. Don't you see? If he doesn't recover, than he'll be gone…indefinitely. No longer will he be here…no longer will he be anywhere. The Tsuzuki that we both know and love will be erased completely," he finished, a stray tear running down his face, his emotionless mask slipping. "Please, Hisoka…please…"
End of Chapter 6
Author's note: De, de? What'd you think? Tell me honestly; is this an all right chapter to follow what I had before? Honestly, I'm not sure. x_x;; The plot line that I had planned before seems boring now, and I'm making some drastic changes to it. I hope that you all will like it, but I guess that I'll have to wait and see…
Anyway, please review! That's what keeps this whole thing going, after all!