Author's Notes: (1) reminder ~~ ~~ indicates telekinetic conversation, * *
identifies private thoughts. (2) Just wanna thank everyone who has
reviewed this work so far, it's my first venture into fanfiction and I
appreciate the help. :) Special thanks to Muccamukk for mentioning the
Phoenix saga from the comics, which I have only begun familiarizing myself
with after writing this series. I'd like to note that the events in this
work of fanfiction differ from those in that storyline as I had been
unaware of it when I began writing and cannot think of how to incorporate
it now. -------------------------------------------------------------------
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*It can't be true.*
*Oh, God, please let it be true!*
*How can it be true?!*
Those three sentences repeat in my head as I run from my room down to await the return of the Blackbird.
*I'm sleeping.*
I must be dreaming, I think, leaping off the last step into the foyer and racing down the corridor to the elevator. I'm so consumed with my thoughts, I notice the front door opening to admit a man I didn't recognize, but ignore the possible threat and continue on my path.
I hear the rumble of the jet's engines dying down as I burst out of the elevator and run toward the bay where the Blackbird is stored. In the back of my mind, I note that someone has called the elevator back upstairs. My bare feet skid across the floor as I slide into the room. Seeing the ramp lower, I raced up it into the jet before it had even anchored itself to the ground..
Looking blindly at the people unfastening themselves from their seats at the front of the craft, I skid to a stop and take a moment to breathe.
No one speaks.
I wouldn't have been able to hear them even if they had. They're all looking toward the back, where I know Jean would be if they really had found her. Unable to believe there was even a chance that they could have done that, I brace myself to wake up from whatever this is or to be disappointed by seeing someone other than my beloved lying there.
Slowly and with some reluctance due to my fears, I turn around to look in the direction everyone else was.
There is no movement or sounds from them behind me, adding to the dream- like quality of the scene, as I take a step toward the table that folded down from the wall at the back of the jet.
Strapped down on that table is a board and on that board I can tell there is a body.
It was almost completely covered and all I can see is a pale profile peeking from the mass of furs and blankets.
The profile is achingly familiar, but it cannot be Jean.
No matter how I hate it, Logan is right. She's gone.
Gulping back the tears those words always bring, I take another step toward the table, praying this torture ends soon and I return to my dreams where the past few days never happened.
God, looks so much like her it must be Jean's face, I think moving to stand beside the body.
Unaware of the tears now falling from my eyes, I reach out to touch that face - knowing when I do it will turn to vapor and I will awake alone as I had the past two nights.
But as my fingers hover over her left cheek, I realize that it is injured.
A scrape mars the perfect features he knew so well, as did numerous cuts and bruises. Wondering briefly at why I would ever dream of her so battered, I shake my head and stroke the other side of her face, as it seems mostly untouched.
I close my eyes as my fingers glide over the warm flesh and I wait for her to disappear again from this dream and my life.
But she doesn't.
My eyes snap open as one fact burns itself into my mind.
*Her flesh was warm.*
Shaking my head in disbelief, I lean further over her, looking slowly over every inch of her face. Suddenly, something tickles my face as it's pressed so near hers and I jump backward.
I look around and everyone is simply watching me, anxiously letting me have this moment.
Whipping my head back around, I lean over her again. The tickle reoccurs and this time my mind figures out what it is.
*She's breathing.*
* I had felt her breath on my face.*
It was faint and shallow, but there was no denying the reality that it was there.
I turn my head to lock eyes with the Professor and he simply gives a slight nod of his head, answering the question I can't even begin to form.
~~It can't be.~~
~~It is, Scott. She's alive.~~
~~How can she be?!~~
My mind screams the question at him as I turn back to the body beside me.
He gives no answer and I am suddenly too busy yanking blankets and animal hides out of my way to care.
I have to see her.
To touch more of her.
To see her chest rise and fall with the breaths I'd felt across my face.
I had to prove to myself that this is real, that she is here and I'm not going to wake up again.
Xavier is suddenly behind me, placing a calming hand on my shoulder to stop my frantic motions.
"I know how you feel, Scott, but you must be more careful about jostling her. We do not yet know the extent of her injuries and you may be doing more harm."
His words sink in and I freeze, barely daring to breathe now for fear of inflicting some further damage that will take her from me.
He gently moves me away from the table and I allow it, though my eye lock on Jean's face and will not be moved.
"We need to get her down to the lab now. I have called a doctor to assist with her care and he should be waiting for us there. Logan and Luc are going to carry her down there for us, ok? We need to get her to the lab."
The professor keeps speaking the words in a calm, soothing voice as I watch Logan and some strange man unfasten the board from the table and lift it between them. He has to hold me back from lunging after them as I see the carry her down the ramp, taking her from my sight.
"We need to get her down to the lab now. They are taking her there for us. We need to get her to the lab." He states again. "We will go there, too, and they will all be waiting for us, Scott."
Some of my control and rationality return as I absorb his the meaning of his words.
Suddenly, Ororo is hugging me tightly before leading me gently out of the jet. Almost as one, we all leave the craft and begin traveling the halls to the medlab.
As we enter the room, I see Xavier told the truth.
Logan and two men I did not know were working carefully to remove the articles covering Jean.
One of the strangers was the man who had assisted Logan in moving her from the jet and I realized I'd seen the second one enter the school during my headlong rush down here.
The second man was big, with dark hair and looked familiar, but I could not place his angular features. He was wearing a lab coat and a pair of black rimmed glasses through which he oversaw Jean's transfer from the board she'd been on to an exam table.
Once her limp, naked body had been settled into place, the man - obviously a doctor - quickly began working on her.
We all watched silently as he started an IV, pried her eyes open to shine a light into them and check her pupils, checked her pulse, breathing, and blood pressure before moving to prod her body for serious injuries.
I watch his every action like a hawk, not completely trusting a stranger with Jean's care. Occasionally the man would frown at something he found in his exam and the Professor had to keep Logan and I from lunging forward at the doctor.
Eventually we both relaxed, realizing that the man knew what he was doing and would take care of her injuries as well as anyone could.
I began focusing less on the doctor and more on the patient he was examining.
The sight was not a pretty one.
I felt nauseous as I noticed the twisted angle of her left arm, realizing it is broken.
Her entire body was covered in bruises of various colors that were a sickening contrast to the patches of unmarked pale skin. Cuts, of different depths and lengths were everywhere.
The only other very obvious injury was her left leg, which was broken too.
*I did that.*
I remembered guiltily that it had been injured during the fight Jean and I had at the dam while I was still under the control of Stryker's drugs.
If that man weren't already dead.., I think as I had many times these past few days when Stryker came to mind.
Finally, I noticed the doctor covering Jean with what appeared to be a heating blanket before he turned to face us.
"I would never believe this if I were not seeing it for myself." The man began, removing his glasses and cleaning them. "From the quick check you just watched, I can say she is suffering the effects of hypothermia, fortunately not severe, but my first task will be raising her body temperature from it's current 79 degrees.
"It's obvious from the bump on her head and the broken bones on down, that the left side of her body bore the brunt of some kind of impact. I cannot say for sure without x-rays, but I'd imagine all the bones along that side have been fractured.
"By some miracle, I can find no signs of internal bleeding, but I will still check for it with CT scans and MRIs. There are traces of water in her lungs, which is why she is having some trouble with her breathing, but it is not nearly what one would expect considering how she sustained these injuries.
"Her head injury is of some concern. I'm sure she is concussed, but hopefully there is nothing more serious. If we're lucky, and I must say with the luck you all have had so far I believe we will be, it is simply the number of her injuries that is keeping her unconscious and not any brain damage. That is the body's natural answer to any real problem, it shuts down to sleep until it has healed. I'm very pleased with her vitals, even if her pulse is slow and her pressure low. I imagined I would be facing a much more dire situation, when you contacted me Xavier."
"I was afraid you would be as well, Hank. I cannot express how glad I am to find we were both wrong." The professor smiles and moves forward to shake the man's hand. "Thank you so much for coming on this short notice."
"I'm glad I was in the city and so nearby to do so. When I heard the news of Jean's death, I was stunned. We worked together many times to defeat the Mutant Registration Act and I have great respect for her. When you said that she had been found alive, nothing could keep me from getting here to see to her care." The man assures us all.
His words stir memories in me and I finally recognize him. Dr. Hank McCoy.
"So..she'll be alright?" I'm not surprised my voice cracks with the question. I'm surprised I was able to voice the question at all.
"I hate to make any firm statements this early, without all the tests I need, but we appear to be very fortunate here. There are many potential bumps in the long road ahead, but the situation is not as dire as it could have been.
"I know how anxious you all are to have some definitive answers, so I must ask that you all leave me here to complete my tests." He states firmly, turning to the others.
"I'm not leaving." Logan and I growl simultaneously.
We look at each other and actually manage a smile at our mutual reactions. After yesterday, I know that he spoke the words and a very anxious and protective friend rather than a potential rival for Jean's love and so his automatic response amused me.
Dr. McCoy, smiled a little himself, "I understand your reasons, Scott, and will allow you to stay so long as you do not interfere in any way. You," he looks to Logan, "I'm afraid I must ask to leave. I truly do know where you're coming from, but I cannot work with distractions. You've been pacing here like a caged animal throughout my primary exam of Jean and I cannot have you doing that when I need to concentrate on actually treating her injuries."
Logan growls at that and the Professor has to restrain him from grabbing the Doctor.
"Logan, he's right. It will be difficult, but we all must leave him to work. It's been a long day and I for one suggest we finally grab something to eat or try to get some sleep." Xavier says.
Logan wants to argue, but as the others are reluctantly nodding their own agreement, he turns and stalks from the room.
"Hank, if there is any change whatsoever, notify me immediately. Do not worry about disturbing me regardless of the time." The professor orders. Receiving Hank's nod, he shepherded the others out.
For the first time, I really took a second to notice again the strange man and woman who had been present through it all, from the Blackbird to here.
They hung back from Kurt, Logan, Ororo and Xavier. I vaguely remember the professor calling the man wearing the furs over nearly every inch of his body, Luc. No introduction had been made to the woman with the flowing slivery white hair, almost like Storm's, who walked beside the man.
I hadn't cared to ask, but now I did feel a twinge of curiosity at who those people were as I watched her walk barefoot from the room wearing Kurt's overcoat, and I would wager nothing else.
The doctor's movements behind me brought my mind to the more important matters I had before me.
Jean, I think again. Still not believing it.
I walk blindly to her right side and clasp her hand in mine, careful not to bother her IV or any wires connecting her to the machines around the bed. I lightly brushed her cheek with my other hand and without knowing it, spoke her name aloud.
Hank, looked over at us and then said something about supplies before leaving the room, allowing me a moment.
Alone with my love, I finally allowed myself to accept all that was happening.
The Professor really had sent the telekinetic messages that Jean was alive and they were bringing her home that had started me running.
And she really was here.
Alive.
Tears slid from beneath my sunglasses, which I had put on before fleeing our room.
*Our room.*
I had thought she would never be there to share it again, but still I could never think of it as my room alone.
Now I would not have to.
Because battered as she was, she was here and as soon as she healed she would share it again for the rest of their lives.
I glanced at her left hand, seeing the familiar impression her engagement ring had left on her ring finger. She never wore it on missions, fearing it would be lost and saying the diamond was too valuable for that. Once we were married, that ring she would never remove as it would be a simple band wearable in any situation, she had said many times.
I vowed there would be nothing else to delay us from placing those rings on each other's fingers after she recovered.
For two days I had lived thinking she was dead and now that I know she is not, nothing would stop me from binding her to me in that last possible way - marriage.
The thought seemed so out of place in the present situation and it jolted me back to reality.
I was thinking and planning things that just an hour ago had been dead dreams, while by some miracle she was here again laying before me.
I focused firmly on the present, leant down to kiss her lips then whispered passionately in her ear how very much I loved her.
The flutter of her eyelashes somehow indicating that she heard me had me falling to my knees beside her. I began sobbing as I stayed in that position and thanked God for giving her back to me.
To us all.
Hank returned quietly and came to move me away from her. He didn't speak, but I knew he had allowed me all the displays of emotion he could right now and needed me out of the way to work on his patient.
I found a chair and sat watching him work, until my tears ran dry. The realization that there was no more reason for tears helped to stem their flow, but all the emotions had boiled over and I felt no shame for those that had fallen.
Exhausted, I let the steady sounds of machines beeping and Hank working wash over my frazzled nerves.
Words that spoke of a miracle began replaying in my head as I allowed myself to fall into a light sleep.
~~Scott, meet us in the Blackbird's bay right away. We've found Jean and are bringing her home.~~
Xavier's words that had stirred me from my pathetic attempt at sleep earlier.
~~She is alive, Scott.~~
The unbelievable words that had brought me here.
*It can't be true.*
*Oh, God, please let it be true!*
*How can it be true?!*
Those three sentences repeat in my head as I run from my room down to await the return of the Blackbird.
*I'm sleeping.*
I must be dreaming, I think, leaping off the last step into the foyer and racing down the corridor to the elevator. I'm so consumed with my thoughts, I notice the front door opening to admit a man I didn't recognize, but ignore the possible threat and continue on my path.
I hear the rumble of the jet's engines dying down as I burst out of the elevator and run toward the bay where the Blackbird is stored. In the back of my mind, I note that someone has called the elevator back upstairs. My bare feet skid across the floor as I slide into the room. Seeing the ramp lower, I raced up it into the jet before it had even anchored itself to the ground..
Looking blindly at the people unfastening themselves from their seats at the front of the craft, I skid to a stop and take a moment to breathe.
No one speaks.
I wouldn't have been able to hear them even if they had. They're all looking toward the back, where I know Jean would be if they really had found her. Unable to believe there was even a chance that they could have done that, I brace myself to wake up from whatever this is or to be disappointed by seeing someone other than my beloved lying there.
Slowly and with some reluctance due to my fears, I turn around to look in the direction everyone else was.
There is no movement or sounds from them behind me, adding to the dream- like quality of the scene, as I take a step toward the table that folded down from the wall at the back of the jet.
Strapped down on that table is a board and on that board I can tell there is a body.
It was almost completely covered and all I can see is a pale profile peeking from the mass of furs and blankets.
The profile is achingly familiar, but it cannot be Jean.
No matter how I hate it, Logan is right. She's gone.
Gulping back the tears those words always bring, I take another step toward the table, praying this torture ends soon and I return to my dreams where the past few days never happened.
God, looks so much like her it must be Jean's face, I think moving to stand beside the body.
Unaware of the tears now falling from my eyes, I reach out to touch that face - knowing when I do it will turn to vapor and I will awake alone as I had the past two nights.
But as my fingers hover over her left cheek, I realize that it is injured.
A scrape mars the perfect features he knew so well, as did numerous cuts and bruises. Wondering briefly at why I would ever dream of her so battered, I shake my head and stroke the other side of her face, as it seems mostly untouched.
I close my eyes as my fingers glide over the warm flesh and I wait for her to disappear again from this dream and my life.
But she doesn't.
My eyes snap open as one fact burns itself into my mind.
*Her flesh was warm.*
Shaking my head in disbelief, I lean further over her, looking slowly over every inch of her face. Suddenly, something tickles my face as it's pressed so near hers and I jump backward.
I look around and everyone is simply watching me, anxiously letting me have this moment.
Whipping my head back around, I lean over her again. The tickle reoccurs and this time my mind figures out what it is.
*She's breathing.*
* I had felt her breath on my face.*
It was faint and shallow, but there was no denying the reality that it was there.
I turn my head to lock eyes with the Professor and he simply gives a slight nod of his head, answering the question I can't even begin to form.
~~It can't be.~~
~~It is, Scott. She's alive.~~
~~How can she be?!~~
My mind screams the question at him as I turn back to the body beside me.
He gives no answer and I am suddenly too busy yanking blankets and animal hides out of my way to care.
I have to see her.
To touch more of her.
To see her chest rise and fall with the breaths I'd felt across my face.
I had to prove to myself that this is real, that she is here and I'm not going to wake up again.
Xavier is suddenly behind me, placing a calming hand on my shoulder to stop my frantic motions.
"I know how you feel, Scott, but you must be more careful about jostling her. We do not yet know the extent of her injuries and you may be doing more harm."
His words sink in and I freeze, barely daring to breathe now for fear of inflicting some further damage that will take her from me.
He gently moves me away from the table and I allow it, though my eye lock on Jean's face and will not be moved.
"We need to get her down to the lab now. I have called a doctor to assist with her care and he should be waiting for us there. Logan and Luc are going to carry her down there for us, ok? We need to get her to the lab."
The professor keeps speaking the words in a calm, soothing voice as I watch Logan and some strange man unfasten the board from the table and lift it between them. He has to hold me back from lunging after them as I see the carry her down the ramp, taking her from my sight.
"We need to get her down to the lab now. They are taking her there for us. We need to get her to the lab." He states again. "We will go there, too, and they will all be waiting for us, Scott."
Some of my control and rationality return as I absorb his the meaning of his words.
Suddenly, Ororo is hugging me tightly before leading me gently out of the jet. Almost as one, we all leave the craft and begin traveling the halls to the medlab.
As we enter the room, I see Xavier told the truth.
Logan and two men I did not know were working carefully to remove the articles covering Jean.
One of the strangers was the man who had assisted Logan in moving her from the jet and I realized I'd seen the second one enter the school during my headlong rush down here.
The second man was big, with dark hair and looked familiar, but I could not place his angular features. He was wearing a lab coat and a pair of black rimmed glasses through which he oversaw Jean's transfer from the board she'd been on to an exam table.
Once her limp, naked body had been settled into place, the man - obviously a doctor - quickly began working on her.
We all watched silently as he started an IV, pried her eyes open to shine a light into them and check her pupils, checked her pulse, breathing, and blood pressure before moving to prod her body for serious injuries.
I watch his every action like a hawk, not completely trusting a stranger with Jean's care. Occasionally the man would frown at something he found in his exam and the Professor had to keep Logan and I from lunging forward at the doctor.
Eventually we both relaxed, realizing that the man knew what he was doing and would take care of her injuries as well as anyone could.
I began focusing less on the doctor and more on the patient he was examining.
The sight was not a pretty one.
I felt nauseous as I noticed the twisted angle of her left arm, realizing it is broken.
Her entire body was covered in bruises of various colors that were a sickening contrast to the patches of unmarked pale skin. Cuts, of different depths and lengths were everywhere.
The only other very obvious injury was her left leg, which was broken too.
*I did that.*
I remembered guiltily that it had been injured during the fight Jean and I had at the dam while I was still under the control of Stryker's drugs.
If that man weren't already dead.., I think as I had many times these past few days when Stryker came to mind.
Finally, I noticed the doctor covering Jean with what appeared to be a heating blanket before he turned to face us.
"I would never believe this if I were not seeing it for myself." The man began, removing his glasses and cleaning them. "From the quick check you just watched, I can say she is suffering the effects of hypothermia, fortunately not severe, but my first task will be raising her body temperature from it's current 79 degrees.
"It's obvious from the bump on her head and the broken bones on down, that the left side of her body bore the brunt of some kind of impact. I cannot say for sure without x-rays, but I'd imagine all the bones along that side have been fractured.
"By some miracle, I can find no signs of internal bleeding, but I will still check for it with CT scans and MRIs. There are traces of water in her lungs, which is why she is having some trouble with her breathing, but it is not nearly what one would expect considering how she sustained these injuries.
"Her head injury is of some concern. I'm sure she is concussed, but hopefully there is nothing more serious. If we're lucky, and I must say with the luck you all have had so far I believe we will be, it is simply the number of her injuries that is keeping her unconscious and not any brain damage. That is the body's natural answer to any real problem, it shuts down to sleep until it has healed. I'm very pleased with her vitals, even if her pulse is slow and her pressure low. I imagined I would be facing a much more dire situation, when you contacted me Xavier."
"I was afraid you would be as well, Hank. I cannot express how glad I am to find we were both wrong." The professor smiles and moves forward to shake the man's hand. "Thank you so much for coming on this short notice."
"I'm glad I was in the city and so nearby to do so. When I heard the news of Jean's death, I was stunned. We worked together many times to defeat the Mutant Registration Act and I have great respect for her. When you said that she had been found alive, nothing could keep me from getting here to see to her care." The man assures us all.
His words stir memories in me and I finally recognize him. Dr. Hank McCoy.
"So..she'll be alright?" I'm not surprised my voice cracks with the question. I'm surprised I was able to voice the question at all.
"I hate to make any firm statements this early, without all the tests I need, but we appear to be very fortunate here. There are many potential bumps in the long road ahead, but the situation is not as dire as it could have been.
"I know how anxious you all are to have some definitive answers, so I must ask that you all leave me here to complete my tests." He states firmly, turning to the others.
"I'm not leaving." Logan and I growl simultaneously.
We look at each other and actually manage a smile at our mutual reactions. After yesterday, I know that he spoke the words and a very anxious and protective friend rather than a potential rival for Jean's love and so his automatic response amused me.
Dr. McCoy, smiled a little himself, "I understand your reasons, Scott, and will allow you to stay so long as you do not interfere in any way. You," he looks to Logan, "I'm afraid I must ask to leave. I truly do know where you're coming from, but I cannot work with distractions. You've been pacing here like a caged animal throughout my primary exam of Jean and I cannot have you doing that when I need to concentrate on actually treating her injuries."
Logan growls at that and the Professor has to restrain him from grabbing the Doctor.
"Logan, he's right. It will be difficult, but we all must leave him to work. It's been a long day and I for one suggest we finally grab something to eat or try to get some sleep." Xavier says.
Logan wants to argue, but as the others are reluctantly nodding their own agreement, he turns and stalks from the room.
"Hank, if there is any change whatsoever, notify me immediately. Do not worry about disturbing me regardless of the time." The professor orders. Receiving Hank's nod, he shepherded the others out.
For the first time, I really took a second to notice again the strange man and woman who had been present through it all, from the Blackbird to here.
They hung back from Kurt, Logan, Ororo and Xavier. I vaguely remember the professor calling the man wearing the furs over nearly every inch of his body, Luc. No introduction had been made to the woman with the flowing slivery white hair, almost like Storm's, who walked beside the man.
I hadn't cared to ask, but now I did feel a twinge of curiosity at who those people were as I watched her walk barefoot from the room wearing Kurt's overcoat, and I would wager nothing else.
The doctor's movements behind me brought my mind to the more important matters I had before me.
Jean, I think again. Still not believing it.
I walk blindly to her right side and clasp her hand in mine, careful not to bother her IV or any wires connecting her to the machines around the bed. I lightly brushed her cheek with my other hand and without knowing it, spoke her name aloud.
Hank, looked over at us and then said something about supplies before leaving the room, allowing me a moment.
Alone with my love, I finally allowed myself to accept all that was happening.
The Professor really had sent the telekinetic messages that Jean was alive and they were bringing her home that had started me running.
And she really was here.
Alive.
Tears slid from beneath my sunglasses, which I had put on before fleeing our room.
*Our room.*
I had thought she would never be there to share it again, but still I could never think of it as my room alone.
Now I would not have to.
Because battered as she was, she was here and as soon as she healed she would share it again for the rest of their lives.
I glanced at her left hand, seeing the familiar impression her engagement ring had left on her ring finger. She never wore it on missions, fearing it would be lost and saying the diamond was too valuable for that. Once we were married, that ring she would never remove as it would be a simple band wearable in any situation, she had said many times.
I vowed there would be nothing else to delay us from placing those rings on each other's fingers after she recovered.
For two days I had lived thinking she was dead and now that I know she is not, nothing would stop me from binding her to me in that last possible way - marriage.
The thought seemed so out of place in the present situation and it jolted me back to reality.
I was thinking and planning things that just an hour ago had been dead dreams, while by some miracle she was here again laying before me.
I focused firmly on the present, leant down to kiss her lips then whispered passionately in her ear how very much I loved her.
The flutter of her eyelashes somehow indicating that she heard me had me falling to my knees beside her. I began sobbing as I stayed in that position and thanked God for giving her back to me.
To us all.
Hank returned quietly and came to move me away from her. He didn't speak, but I knew he had allowed me all the displays of emotion he could right now and needed me out of the way to work on his patient.
I found a chair and sat watching him work, until my tears ran dry. The realization that there was no more reason for tears helped to stem their flow, but all the emotions had boiled over and I felt no shame for those that had fallen.
Exhausted, I let the steady sounds of machines beeping and Hank working wash over my frazzled nerves.
Words that spoke of a miracle began replaying in my head as I allowed myself to fall into a light sleep.
~~Scott, meet us in the Blackbird's bay right away. We've found Jean and are bringing her home.~~
Xavier's words that had stirred me from my pathetic attempt at sleep earlier.
~~She is alive, Scott.~~
The unbelievable words that had brought me here.