7-11 Gundam Wing

By Luna's Really Twysted (This chapter only, since LA's sick and Luna SS is in the Dungeons, being er, whipped by her brother Emerson as we speak)

Chapter 7: The Tribe Has Spoken! You Are the Weakest Link.Goodbye!

Disclaimer: We don't own Survivor, or The Weakest Link, or Gundam Wing, or 7-11, or Li Syaoran, for that matter. No offense, but we can't stand him.

Warnings: Possible construction of pagan meat idol. If you are offended by pagan meat idols, read something else. Also, if possible 3 x Doro disturbs you, read some more!

Erratum: Okay, okay, we know we never should have given Luna Stop Swearing a frickin' chance to author something by herself, since we knew she'd just screw things up. Yes, we know that it's onomatopoeia, not oxymoron, obviously Luna SS didn't, thank you for pointing that out, all of you, we apologize, please forgive us, Luna SS will be dealt with accordingly, if you know what we mean.

~*~

So Dorothy was thrown out of the freezer.

"Hooligans!" she yelled, waving her middle finger at them.

Lucky for her, Heero and Wufei were too busy constructing what seemed an idol out of processed sandwich meats near the freezers far away from the ones intended for ice cream.

"Mphhmmhp.TURKEY!" Heero debated, slapping a few slices of the frozen bird meat onto the head of the idol.

"NO! MUSTARD'S BESTEST!" Wufei disagreed, squirting some of the poop-like viscous semi-liquid onto the idol's head, making eyes.

"Bolognia!"

"What's blognia, Heewo?"

" 'Tis Bologna and Boloney combined to perform like the marvelous intermixture of processed sandwich meat that it is, Princess Wufei."

Wufei started crying.

"Wat's wong, Wuffy-Wiffy-Goo-Goo?"

Wufei started whimpering like an injured dog and banging his head into the tall, door-type freezer. "I. I lost my jooled slippers! And now the Prince will never marry me!!!"

Heero hugged Wufei and started stroking his hair comfortingly. "Aw. poor Wuffie." Then he quickly drew back his hand and started wiping it on Wufei's pants leg. It was abnormally greasy and it left a huge stain on Wufei's pants.

"Baby oil," Heero said disgustedly, falling to his knees and shouting praises to the sandwich meat god (who was thus named Dora the Explora) in different languages: Swahili, Abernackee, American Indian, Egyptian, Indian, Mandarin, Japanese, Filipino, Fookien, and Cantonese.

Wufei stopped looking for his 'jooled' glass slippers and started taking out more Swedish smoked ham.

Trowa was still taking pictures. He had also borrowed Duo's camcorder in case he ran out of film.

Now Trowa had never liked Dorothy much (since she DID shoot Quatre AND fell in love with him after that), but he pitied those in trouble or weaker than he was. And when he saw Dorothy with a pint of ice cream on her head.his heart gave a lurch.

(A/N: Sickening? We're not sure. THIS, actually, is based on an idea given by Luna Antonio, who is currently recuperating in the hospital. Since there is a chance that she might die, we're doing this chapter for her.)

"Dorothy!" Trowa sputtered.

Dorothy squinted and looked up. It was pretty dark. After a couple of hours in a cramped freezer, she was thankful to be able to stretch her limbs, which had gone numb hours ago.

"Up HERE!" Trowa called, waving her up.

Dorothy blinked, but still her feet refused to budge.

"Hurry!!!" Trowa added, his tone of voice more urgent.

"Trowa." she whispered. She was confused. Trowa Barton had never shown her kindness before.why start now? When she happened to be standing mere yards away from a pair of lunatics who happened to be making an idol come totem pole using sandwich meats and condiments?

"They'll sacrifice you!" Trowa called.

Dorothy felt like she was standing in glue. She looked down at her high heels and tried to raise a foot.

She was stuck. In glue.

"C'mon!" Trowa said, a bit more loudly.

Dorothy felt her vocal cords contract. She tried to say something, but no words came out. Then a light bulb in her head went off.

She held up six fingers at Trowa.

"Six words?" Trowa guessed.

Dorothy nodded. She held up one finger.

"First word," Trowa said.

Dorothy pointed at herself.

"Dorothy. I. You. Me. Myself and I. My?"

Dorothy gave him a thumbs-up. She held up two fingers.

"Second word," Trowa murmured thoughtfully.

She pointed downwards.

"Uh, high heels? Shoes?"

He saw the thumbs up.

Dorothy held up four fingers.

"Fourth word."

Dorothy pulled her feet.

"STUCK?" Trowa guessed. "You're stuck?"

Dorothy nodded helplessly.

"I'm coming to get you."

~*~

LA (coughing): Wasn't that so disgustingly disgusting?

LRT: I'd rather watch Trip or Jologs* several times over. Whose frickin' idea was this, anyway?

LSS: LA's!

LRT: What did we tell you, Luna? Leave the relationship shit to US! You always make sick pairings that screw up the fic!

LA: Uh. ::cough cough:: My fever's already at 40 degrees, guys, not to ALARM you or anything.

LSS: Like that first fic of yours! The 3 x Doro! That was sick sick sick! Let us correct the error by.

LRT: Throwing her into a room with Li Syaoran!

LA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shall seek my revenge with. SARS!

*Trip is a Pinoy movie about a few teens going on a summer-long road trip. This stars the worst actress in Filipino movie history, Heart Evangelista, and my favorite part was when she tripped into the mud/dung puddle, face first. Hehehe. Jologs is another Pinoy movie aimed at teenagers, though I haven't seen it yet. It stars the adult film star, okay, porn star, Assunta de Rossi.