Talks

That night Buffy took Dawn to a movie and to dinner. She wanted to tell her the truth about her situation. As Dawn was eating her juicy cheeseburger Buffy started, "Um. Dawn, I. um. have something to tell you." Dawn put her burger down and looked at her sister with fear in her eyes, she swallowed her mouth full and cleared her throat nodding her head.

"Um. well. recently I've been having these feelings that um. well I kissed Spike. a lot." Dawn's eyes bulged and her mouth opened a bit. Buffy looking at her sister's face was ready for the worst.

"I-I. don't know what to say. Do you like him? Are you guys together? Does this mean I can hang out with him?" Dawn sputtered out all at once.

"Whoa, whoa slow down! One question at a time, ok the first question is yes I like him," Dawn started sliming "and no we're not together, and I have to think about the third one."

"Aww. Buffy you like Spike, this is great, I mean even though I was the one who liked him WAY before you, but it's still great! I knew it too, I mean you would hear you talking in your sleep and like moaning Spike's name so I sorta knew it."

"What?! You heard me in my sleep why didn't you tell me?"

"I dunno I didn't think about it", Dawn responded.

"Oh well but Dawnie you can't tell anyone, ok? Especially Xander ESPECIALLY Xander, I want to tell them in my own time".

"So I'm the first to know? This is awesome!"

"Well actually you're not the first," Dawn looked at her sister with a confused look on her face, "Anya kinda walked in on us in the bathroom at the Bronze so it got to her first"

Dawn's smile settled to a glare, "What do you mean she 'walked in on you'? You were having sex in the bathroom!?!? Gross!" Dawn said starting to itch herself away of the germs since she had used to bathroom.

"No, no. We weren't having sex, well it as getting close. wait no. kid sister, time to stop talking!"

"It's ok Buffy I want you to be able to talk to me."

"Oh I will just not about certain things ya know", Buffy said as she smiled at Dawn.

"Alright, but 3 words of advice because I trust him and I know he loves you and the fact that you talk to him in your sleep. Go For It. you deserve to be happy and if this makes you happy then do it".

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Buffy wanted to talk with all of her friends about what she was feeing. She knew it would be hard, but she would feel so much better if it was out in the open. She decided that Xander would be the last because she knew she'd get a beat down from him. Willow was the next person.

Buffy knocked on the door, it was her mother's room before she had passed away. It had been so hard without her; Buffy could still smell her perfume she always wore. If only she were here. Willow opened the door looking tired and weary

"Hey could we talk for a sec?"

"Sure, whatever"

Buffy went inside and saw the mess that Willow had made of the room; she had been hibernating since Tara left. "Look, I that you have been in pain for a few days but I want to tell you that everything will be ok," Willow nodded her head, Buffy knew that she didn't believe what she was saying and only time would heal her "but I need to talk to you about something very import.". Buffy was cut off by Willow muttering something under her breath sounding like Latin. The tissue box flew from the dresser to Willow's hands. Buffy would have thought that Willow would have tried to stop since it was the reason why Tara left, but she assumed wrong. "Umm. there's this guy that I like and he likes me, but I wanted to talk to friends first about it."

Willow brought her head up and said, "Why does it matter? Relationships never work, Xander will leave Anya at the alter, you're relationships never work, and I'm just too screwed up to have one."

"Will, you know that's not true"

"Is it?"

"It's not, I'm the one that's screwed up, but I want to follow both my head and my heart, Willow I want to be with Spike." Buffy paused and looked at Willow who started cracking up followed by, "Yeah, you are the screwed up one!" They both started laughing together until Willow said "Look I've noticed a connection with you two since you came back, I can feel it. I think you're crazy but hey who isn't at some point!"

Buffy smiled at Willow, hugged and thanked her for understanding. Buffy left her in the bedroom with a phone call to make.

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Buffy checked the clock and calculated the time in England would be around 7PM. She picked up the phone and dialed long distance. When she heard him say hello she was ready to hang up the phone when she said, "Hey Giles"

"Buffy, it's so good to hear you're voice"

"How's England, I miss you"

"Raining like a pisser, I miss you also!"

"Ok, I'll get straight to the point, Giles I like Spike and I want him to be involved in my life, as more than just a friend.." Buffy swore she could hear him cleaning his glasses.

"What do you expect me to say to that? Are you under a spell? Has Willow done something?"

"No, Giles she hasn't done anything, this is all me and my own feelings."

"Do you understand what you're saying? He's a killer, he would kill you if he didn't have his chip!"

"I don't believe he would"

"Buffy you're thinking irrationally, Spike is a vampire without a soul! He can't possibly love you!"

"I believe he can"

"Why are you telling me this? I don't understand"

"I want everyone to know. I don't want to keep secrets"

"Buffy I can't tell you how wrong you are, we all accepted Angel and look where it got us, especially me!"

"So you're comparing him to Angel, he's nothing like him! Giles please una- "

"No Buffy I refuse to accept this least of all give me blessing"

"I'm not asking for your approval! I called to let you know"

"Well thank you Buffy", Giles said in a sarcastic tone.

"Goodbye Giles, hope you have a good night." Before he could say another word she had hung up the phone. "Asshole"

"Didn't go so well, huh?" Dawn said from behind her.

"Nope not at all."

"Remember, what makes you happy. but that doesn't kill the world."

Buffy laughed at her comment, "When did my kid sister get so smart?" Buffy commented with a smile on her face. She hugged her sister and left to talk with the next person. Tara.

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Spike laid on his bed thinking of what Buffy would be doing this very moment 'Probably flirting with some stupid git not worth her time like a lame-boy like Peaches or a commando-boy like Riley. None of them deserved her at all; they had left and hurt her. They should all rot for eternity.' Spike moved out of bed and grabbed some nearby pants. 'She deserves someone better. than me. She would never settle for me, why do I do this? How could she ever love me even care for me? Alright then I'm going to the Bronze and show her that I can make it without her.'

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Buffy waited outside Tara's classroom at UC Sunnydale. The class was let out left and Tara was one of the last to leave. "Hey Tara"

"Hey Buffy, what are you doing here? Wait no scratch that, how are you doing?"

Buffy smiled, "I'm great, I came here because I wanted to tell you something."

"What's Willow done? Is it bad?"

"Oh no, Willow is ok still doing magic but ok," Tara let out a sigh of disappointment to learn that she was still into the magic, "I know this must be hard, she loves you and she's lightened up with it a bit, she'll get better before she gets worse."

"I know I jus miss her, anyways what did you want to talk about?"

"Let's go outside." Tara and Buffy began walking to the grass part of the campus when Buffy started to explain, "I met this guy and he really likes me and I like him, and I wanted you guys to know, because that is if he'll have me, I want to be in a relationship with him."

"Ooo. Buffy how cute but I need to meet him ASAP!" "You already have"

"I have huh? Tell me who this mystery guy is!"

"Now don't freak out when I tell you"

"Uh oh, this can't be good."

"It's. Spike."

"No way?! I was hoping you two would get together, I mean besides the fact that he is a vamp and all"

"You did?"

"Yeah, I see the way he looks at you and the way that he loves you, it seemed so right."

"Some people don't think so."

"Some people think that witches only have has and brooms, some people are wrong, I know that you've had bad luck with guys before but I have a feeling about this and I'm a witch!"

Buffy wrapped her arms around Tara, "Thank you so much for everything!"

"It's what I'm here for." And with that Buffy took off to the last person she had to talk to and she sure wasn't going to rush this.

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On the way to Xander and Anya's apartment Buffy wanted to patrol for a few minutes. After slaying3 very incompetent vamps, Buffy decided that she needed to make her way to Xander.

Anya let Buffy in and they were talking for a while until Xander came in from work.

"Xander! Look Buffy dropped by for a visit, I think she wants to talk to you", Anya said as she retreated to the door leaving the two alone so they could talk.

"Hey Xander, how was your day?"

"Same ol' same ol'. You want to talk?"

"Yeah, I do. You might want to sit down for this." Xander went to the end of the table and sat, it was silent until Buffy let out a sigh.

"Ok Buffy, what's going on? You can tell me."

"I know it's just hard, the situation is hard."

"Come on Buff, you can do it. Just let it come out."

"Alright, Xander you have been my best friend since I came here. I will always consider you my best friend, I want to be honest with you." Xander's face was motionless. Buffy took a deep breath, "I've decided that I want a relationship"

"With me?!?!?"

"NO! I mean, no," seeing the astonished look on Xander's face "no, I want a relationship with someone, not you, I don't care what you say about it I'm still going to go for it, but I don't want to hold any secrets, so here it is. I want to be with Spike."

Xander began to laugh, "Yeah, okay, good one, so really who is it?" Xander stopped and looked at Buffy, he could tell she was serious. "Buffy? No, no! We're talking about the same Spike right? The Spike that has killed 2 Slayers? Almost killed your mom, you, me, and Willow? The same Spike that made a robot look-a-like so he could have his way with it? The same Spike that has a chip in his head, which keeps him from harming humans but would gladly rip it out and kill again? Spike the monster? Are we talking about the same person?"

"No we're not, he's different Xander. You know it and I know it."

"No, he's not different he would kill you in an instant if he had a chance."

"You know that's not true; you trusted him with Dawn."

"I've never forgotten what he is, a monster, he doesn't have a soul Buffy, he can't love at all."

"Look at you, you're marrying an ex-demon that has killed men for revenge again and again."

"She doesn't do that anymore."

"Neither does Spike!"

"Buffy listen to yourself, think about it"

"I have Xander, when I'm with him I'm happy, no pretending to be someone I'm not. He loves me for me, you may not see it or believe it but I do."

Xander was speechless he couldn't believe that this was happening. Buffy falling for another vampire. "Buf-" she cut him off before he say another word.

"Don't Xander, I didn't come here to argue I came here to tell you the truth, I don't care if you hate me or him because it doesn't concern you. I just want you to know."

Buffy turned and got up from he table and walked out the door leaving Xander to think alone.

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When Buffy arrived home, she told Dawn what the others had thought. After her sister had heard them all she asked, "So, what are you going to do?"

With a smile on her face she replied, "I'm going to tell him that I want to be with him and him to be with me, that I need him by m side."

"Aww. and then you'll make passionate love!"

"Dawn, enough! Time to go to bed!"

"So when are you going to tell him?"

"Tomorrow"

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm tired and need to sleep. Let's go!"

Both sisters then ascended the stairs to their quiet rooms. Dawn knew that Buffy wouldn't last long at that she would go to him tonight, but for now all was quiet in the Summer's home.

To be Continued.