7-11 Gundam Wung. er, Wing, Sorry, We've Kinda Just Got Back From A Party
Where Our *Friends* Spiked The Pomelo Juice.
By Three Unbelievably Bored Androgynous Sort-Of Lesbians (At Least We Think We Are)
Chapter 8: Puck, Shit, Damn, Darn, Putang Ina*.
Disclaimer: Combined, we have barely 3000 pesos. And we are going to spend it on more cheap manga and blank CDs. So if you sue, you get NOTHING. Mwahahaha. Did we already mention that we don't own anything mentioned here? Oh yeah, you've been warned, implied. adult situations, nothing too serious though. DO NOT sue us if you are traumatized in any way, we have enough problems with taekwondo, guitar, ballet, piano, and swimming lessons as it is.
{~*~}
"Aw, dammit!" Duo grumbled furiously, chucking the cellphone against the wall of the air vent.
"MY NOKIA!" Quatre wailed, collapsing into a new fit of fresh tears.
The operator's voice kept repeating the same annoying message. "No signal. Please try your call later."
"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Duo murmured, plopping his cute little ass down beside Quatre. "No fucking signal!"
That made Quatre cry some more, babbling incomprehensible jumbled nonsense in mixed Arabic, Latin, English, Hebrew, and Chinese.
Duo sighed, picked up the phone, and tried one last time.
Ring.
Duo's eyes popped open.
(A/N: Of course we'd make Duo reach the damn radio station!)
"Hello! This is Bubbles. Caller #1, what's your question for Professor Utonium?"
"Uh, hi, Bubbles!!!" Quatre shouted into the phone, quickly recovering from his stupor. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! WILL YOU MARRY ME? MY NAME IS QUATRE RABERBA WINNER, I'M. I'M 15 YEARS OLD, I'M A GUNDAM PILOT, I'M ARABIAN, AND.I'M FILTHY STINKING RICH!!! I LIVE ON L4 COLONY, IN THIS HUGE HUGE MANSION THAT BELONGS TO MY DEAD FATHER AND MY 28 OR 29 SOMETHING SISTERS! I COULD MAKE YOU SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A VIIIIRRRRRGGGGGIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!!!"
Professor Utonium was so shocked and outraged at the same time that he grabbed the phone from Bubbles and started shouting into the phone, "HELLO! Hello! What kind of pervert are you, hitting on a little girl?"
Duo was unsuccessfully trying to wrench the phone from the sex-depraved man in front of him, while trying to shout into the phone, "WE NEED HELP! WE'RE NOT PERVERTS! WE'RE STUCK IN A 7-11 WITH CRAZY PEOPLE!!!"
"Likely story!" The Professor shouted back.
Below, Wufei and Heero were re-enacting a whole two hours of Playhouse Disney, and Duo was thinking that if this was hell, it was worse than being poked at with red tridents by little red demons and experiencing excruciating pain. On the other hand, hearing Heero sing was already classified as excruciating pain. With the addition of Wufei, he might as well curl up and die in Antarctica.
"IIIITTTT'SSSS the.. GREAT BIG BOOK OF EVERYTHING WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE!
TO SEE THE WORLD AROUND US THIS BOOK'S THE PERFECT GUIDE!"
"Yo, God-dude! I know I'm not religious-QUIT IT, WINNER!-but if you could at least make Heero stop singing, then I'll spare someone. DO IT NOW BEFORE I SHOOT QUATRE!!!"
"If you believe you must be big in order to be tough! Then you should get to know me, I'll teach you other stuff!
I'm Madeleine, I'm Madeleine I may be very small! I'm Madeleine, I'm Madeleine, But inside I'm tall!"
"Oh God."
"Giveittome, giveittome, giveittome!!!"
"Shaddup before I whack you into the next after colony!"
"I'm not a little girl!" Bubbles protested. "You told me I was a young lady minutes ago! How can I go from young lady to little girl in two crappy MINUTES?"
"Face it Bubbles," A voice shouted from the corner of the room. It was Buttercup, mutilated and such, but pretty much still alive. "We're all going to be sent to convents on different sides of the world once we hit sixteen where all there'll be will be ugly people. We'll die virgins. And when we escape from the nun house, when we DO escape from the nun house, we'll be so desperate and surrounded by ugly people and we'll have to make the choice whether to further populate the ugly population or die untainted!"
"SHUT UP!" Blossom screeched, banging her sister on the head with a mic stand.
"Get off the goddamned phone, Winner!" Duo grabbed the phone back from Quatre, who was already drooling. Then he wrestled the blonde Arabian away from him. Duo did his best to avoid the puddle of drool accumulating on the floor.
"Hello? Hello?" Duo spat into the phone.
"Psychos," Professor Utonium told his test-tube daughter.
"Most definitely," Bubbles agreed, tapping her powder blue crayon against her desk.
"HOW THE HECK DO YOU REVERSE THE EFFECT-get AWAY from me, Quatre-OF THE GODDAMNED CHEMICAL??????" Duo yelled. "Quatre, I said GEOFAAME!!!"
"No! NO!" Quatre was screaming hysterically, clawing at Duo's leg, trying to get to the precious cellphone with
"Please don't curse, sir. Impressionable children might be listening," Bubbles scolded the braided Gundam pilot. Naturally, she was already jaded.
"I'll curse whenever I want to, you blonde pigtailed test-tube reject!" Duo screamed.
Bubbles started to cry, which made Quatre cry, too.
"NOW WHERE'S MY ANSWER?" Duo demanded.
"You have to shock them." Was all Duo heard. Then the transmission went dead.
{~*~}
A/N: Well, not exactly massive audience response. ::Sigh:: Come on, people, we write to keep you guys sane! Please review!
*We weren't sure it was okay to curse in the title, so we made it 'puck' instead of 'fuck.' Because someone might rat on us again, like what happened to Luna's R. Twysted when we left the summary to her. ::grumble grumble:: So puck is a play on fuck (duh); on the way Filipinos sometimes pronounce f as p. We're making fun of ourselves, ha ha ha. Also, this is usually what Luna SS's friend (and our friend, I guess) Kim usually says when she feels utterly screwed. LAST: Putang ina is the Filipino equivalent of fuck. Ja!
By Three Unbelievably Bored Androgynous Sort-Of Lesbians (At Least We Think We Are)
Chapter 8: Puck, Shit, Damn, Darn, Putang Ina*.
Disclaimer: Combined, we have barely 3000 pesos. And we are going to spend it on more cheap manga and blank CDs. So if you sue, you get NOTHING. Mwahahaha. Did we already mention that we don't own anything mentioned here? Oh yeah, you've been warned, implied. adult situations, nothing too serious though. DO NOT sue us if you are traumatized in any way, we have enough problems with taekwondo, guitar, ballet, piano, and swimming lessons as it is.
{~*~}
"Aw, dammit!" Duo grumbled furiously, chucking the cellphone against the wall of the air vent.
"MY NOKIA!" Quatre wailed, collapsing into a new fit of fresh tears.
The operator's voice kept repeating the same annoying message. "No signal. Please try your call later."
"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Duo murmured, plopping his cute little ass down beside Quatre. "No fucking signal!"
That made Quatre cry some more, babbling incomprehensible jumbled nonsense in mixed Arabic, Latin, English, Hebrew, and Chinese.
Duo sighed, picked up the phone, and tried one last time.
Ring.
Duo's eyes popped open.
(A/N: Of course we'd make Duo reach the damn radio station!)
"Hello! This is Bubbles. Caller #1, what's your question for Professor Utonium?"
"Uh, hi, Bubbles!!!" Quatre shouted into the phone, quickly recovering from his stupor. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! WILL YOU MARRY ME? MY NAME IS QUATRE RABERBA WINNER, I'M. I'M 15 YEARS OLD, I'M A GUNDAM PILOT, I'M ARABIAN, AND.I'M FILTHY STINKING RICH!!! I LIVE ON L4 COLONY, IN THIS HUGE HUGE MANSION THAT BELONGS TO MY DEAD FATHER AND MY 28 OR 29 SOMETHING SISTERS! I COULD MAKE YOU SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A VIIIIRRRRRGGGGGIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!!!"
Professor Utonium was so shocked and outraged at the same time that he grabbed the phone from Bubbles and started shouting into the phone, "HELLO! Hello! What kind of pervert are you, hitting on a little girl?"
Duo was unsuccessfully trying to wrench the phone from the sex-depraved man in front of him, while trying to shout into the phone, "WE NEED HELP! WE'RE NOT PERVERTS! WE'RE STUCK IN A 7-11 WITH CRAZY PEOPLE!!!"
"Likely story!" The Professor shouted back.
Below, Wufei and Heero were re-enacting a whole two hours of Playhouse Disney, and Duo was thinking that if this was hell, it was worse than being poked at with red tridents by little red demons and experiencing excruciating pain. On the other hand, hearing Heero sing was already classified as excruciating pain. With the addition of Wufei, he might as well curl up and die in Antarctica.
"IIIITTTT'SSSS the.. GREAT BIG BOOK OF EVERYTHING WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE!
TO SEE THE WORLD AROUND US THIS BOOK'S THE PERFECT GUIDE!"
"Yo, God-dude! I know I'm not religious-QUIT IT, WINNER!-but if you could at least make Heero stop singing, then I'll spare someone. DO IT NOW BEFORE I SHOOT QUATRE!!!"
"If you believe you must be big in order to be tough! Then you should get to know me, I'll teach you other stuff!
I'm Madeleine, I'm Madeleine I may be very small! I'm Madeleine, I'm Madeleine, But inside I'm tall!"
"Oh God."
"Giveittome, giveittome, giveittome!!!"
"Shaddup before I whack you into the next after colony!"
"I'm not a little girl!" Bubbles protested. "You told me I was a young lady minutes ago! How can I go from young lady to little girl in two crappy MINUTES?"
"Face it Bubbles," A voice shouted from the corner of the room. It was Buttercup, mutilated and such, but pretty much still alive. "We're all going to be sent to convents on different sides of the world once we hit sixteen where all there'll be will be ugly people. We'll die virgins. And when we escape from the nun house, when we DO escape from the nun house, we'll be so desperate and surrounded by ugly people and we'll have to make the choice whether to further populate the ugly population or die untainted!"
"SHUT UP!" Blossom screeched, banging her sister on the head with a mic stand.
"Get off the goddamned phone, Winner!" Duo grabbed the phone back from Quatre, who was already drooling. Then he wrestled the blonde Arabian away from him. Duo did his best to avoid the puddle of drool accumulating on the floor.
"Hello? Hello?" Duo spat into the phone.
"Psychos," Professor Utonium told his test-tube daughter.
"Most definitely," Bubbles agreed, tapping her powder blue crayon against her desk.
"HOW THE HECK DO YOU REVERSE THE EFFECT-get AWAY from me, Quatre-OF THE GODDAMNED CHEMICAL??????" Duo yelled. "Quatre, I said GEOFAAME!!!"
"No! NO!" Quatre was screaming hysterically, clawing at Duo's leg, trying to get to the precious cellphone with
"Please don't curse, sir. Impressionable children might be listening," Bubbles scolded the braided Gundam pilot. Naturally, she was already jaded.
"I'll curse whenever I want to, you blonde pigtailed test-tube reject!" Duo screamed.
Bubbles started to cry, which made Quatre cry, too.
"NOW WHERE'S MY ANSWER?" Duo demanded.
"You have to shock them." Was all Duo heard. Then the transmission went dead.
{~*~}
A/N: Well, not exactly massive audience response. ::Sigh:: Come on, people, we write to keep you guys sane! Please review!
*We weren't sure it was okay to curse in the title, so we made it 'puck' instead of 'fuck.' Because someone might rat on us again, like what happened to Luna's R. Twysted when we left the summary to her. ::grumble grumble:: So puck is a play on fuck (duh); on the way Filipinos sometimes pronounce f as p. We're making fun of ourselves, ha ha ha. Also, this is usually what Luna SS's friend (and our friend, I guess) Kim usually says when she feels utterly screwed. LAST: Putang ina is the Filipino equivalent of fuck. Ja!
