7-11 Gundam Wing
By The Three Disgruntled And Seriously Fucked Up Muses of Tragedy, Discord, and Pestilence.
Disclaimer: Oh my goodness, we have forgotten the ethics of goof ficcing! Er, good ficcing! Sorry for taking too long to update, Gomen ne, gomen ne! ::Manically throws out pocky and plushies by the truckful:: So, new chapter! ::Dances in circle:: New chapter, new chapter, WHEE! More of everything evil, different, and of course, Gundam Wing! ::Releases firecrackers:: So, it's a good day to release a new chapter when you're this whacked. Yay! Don't forget to submit a pretty little review, or a pretty long with review, we accept either! And remember the cosmic rule of karma! What goes around, comes around!
BANG!
A harried looking Luna Stop Swearing runs up Luna Twysted to examine the now-dead Luna Antonio.
"Does this remind you of anything?" LSS inquired, poking the corpse with her foot, whilst dodging wild fireworks.
"Excel Saga," LT sighed, quickly opening a beach umbrella to shield herself from all the falling pocky and plushies. "We should really put her in an institution or something."
"Well, she's DEAD. Haler!"
Both look at each other, grab LA's wallet and valuables, and run off to decide how to split her belongings.
LA gasps. "Hey guys? I'm not dead yet! Guys? GUYS!"
~~~~~~~BEGINNING OF REAL CHAPTER~~~~~~~~
Chapter 12: So Much Vomit, So Little Room, So Little Air.
Duo rapped on the glass casing of the ice cream freezer.
"Who is it?" Sally asked, taking a time out from barfing.
Noin peered at the glass. "Duo and Quatre."
"Thank God!" Hilde breathed. "I thought he'd been sacrificed to the sandwich meat thing!"
Duo opened the glass door.
"Damn right we're not. I escaped Heero's clutches!" Duo claimed as he and Quatre jumped in.
"Oh my." Was all Quatre could say as he surveyed the ladies.
Duo noticed that, too.
"Is this like, bonding time?" he asked, silently wretching. "Are we disturbing anything.girly?"
"Not at all," Relena commented dryly. "We're just emptying our stomach's contents into ice cream containers just for kicks!"
"It's the latest rage in party games!" Noin added.
"No more dumb stuff like Spin The Bottle (1)!" Iria giggled.
"Or I've Never (2)," Hilde suggested.
Duo blushed. "Okay, I get the picture. Could you ladies put aside your buckets of barf and I'll tell something interesting."
"Like what?" Lady Une challenged him, jutting out her chin.
"Let's say I've found a way to get these guys back to their right minds."
Hilde raised an eyebrow. "Really, babe? Usually you're not the one with the brilliant ideas."
"Yes," Relena countered. "Heero comes up with them.when he's in his right mind."
"You give more of a hilariously demented idea, Duo," Noin admitted quietly.
Sally stood up until the glass door permitted her from doing so and grabbed Duo by the lapels and raising him at least two feet off the floor.
"CHANGE. WUFEI. BACK. NOW," she commanded.
Duo saluted. Sally was still holding him.
"I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!! HE ACTUALLY CALLED ME SALLY!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as she continued to shake the bejoseph out of Duo. "HE CALLED ME SALLY! HE CALLED ME SALLY!"
"Uh, Sally, I appreciate you appreciating my talents, but couldya please let me go?" Duo managed to choke out.
"Certainly."
Sally let him drop to the floor hard, and Duo made a big show of 'eating' air, indicating that air was good. Love air. Must have more air. Air, yum yum.
Hilde smirked.
"So, what's the big plan?" Catherine asked, getting up from her previous position.
"What happened to you?" Quatre demanded in some sort of worried-concerned- overprotective tone that no one had heard him use ever before. (A/N: Can you guess what we're hinting at???)
"Um, I guess I fainted," Catherine said sheepishly through her ice cream mask.
"Twice," Sally corrected.
Catherine nodded. "Twice."
"Why?" Quatre asked.
"Um, the first time because I saw Dorothy and Trowa hitting on each other and flirting."
Hilde wrapped both hands around her throat at the very remark and made not- so-subtle gagging sounds.
"Wait, ya mean to say that Dorothy is out there? WHY?" Duo inquired.
Lady Une wiped off the gunk on her mouth with her hand, which totally disgusted Duo and Quatre more than anything. "We voted her out. Tribal Council."
"Yeah, but WHY? What's the sense in that?"
Hilde touched her boyfriend's forehead. "Are you Duo, or some clone? Cause I can tell who's who, and you're way TOO philosophical and TOO concerned to be my Duokins!"
Duo laid an assault (a very long one) on Hilde's lips. "Well, is it me, babe?"
Hilde smiled breathlessly. "It's you Shinigami."
"Great. Now why did you vote Dorothy 'we-all-hate-her-so-much-but-deep-down- inside-she-holds-a-soft-spot-in-all-of-our-hearts-especially-Quatre's' Catalonia out of your sweet little hiding spot?" Duo asked, rephrasing the question in a way that was inoffensive to everybody.
"I." Relena took a deep breath. "I ripped her eyebrows off!"
"Holy shit!" Duo grinned. "Holy S. Hit! What were you thinking?"
"She told me that I wasn't married to Heero!"
"Uh, Miss Relena, you aren't," Duo said, making the fatal mistake of pointing it out.again.
But this time, Une and Noin stopped her from doing something similar to Duo, albeit that something having to do with his beloved locks.
"So-RRY," Duo apologized half-heartedly as Relena calmed down, backed off, and gave varying replicas of Heero Yuy's Death Glare, although none could match nor surpass the original.
"Fake eyebrows," Quatre mused. He was sitting next to Catherine, wiping the ice cream off her face with his handkerchief.
"Inane, isn't it?" Catherine said, flashing a smile.
Quatre felt his insides turn to mush. Think baby food mush. The stuff with pureed carrots, pureed wheat germ, pureed mixed vegetables, mashed squash, battered broccoli.
"Ain't that cute?" Hilde whispered to Noin, who nodded.
Personally, Noin was glad that Quatre was involved with someone other than Dorothy.
"Ahem, may I have your attention please, may I have your attention please?" Duo said in his ringmaster voice.
"Okay, right. Your plan," Iria said.
"Yeah. There was this special news bulletin. Said that 7-11 hotdogs were found to contain some sort of chemical. Something called bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo."
Everyone cracked up. (A/N: What a scary thought.)
"Bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo!" Relena ejaculated. [A/N: No, no, hentai fans, stop that thought, hold that thought, freeze it, and throw it in the Antarctic Ocean with the penguins!]
"Bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo!" Lady Une yelled, high-fiving her.
"Poo rhymes with bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo," Noin said, thoughtfully sucking her thumb.
"AND WE HAVE TO SHOCK THEM!" Duo finished loudly to be heard above the exchange of 'bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo's.'
At that moment, a clap of thunder was heard outside.
"Perfect," Sally commented, rubbing her hands together. Everything, foolish as it sounds, became somewhat normal. "All we have to do is to construct some sort of lightning rod and attach Heero and Wufei to it."
"How simple," Quatre said sarcastically, which freaked everyone out, because sarcasm wasn't even a word in good-boy-Quatre's vocabulary.
Sally scowled. "Like it or not, it's our only hope, Winner."
Quatre looked away.
"Well, who's with me?" Duo asked confidently, as usual.
"Me, of course," Hilde volunteered, snuggling up to Duo.
"Thanks, babe," Duo murmured. "Anyone else?"
Nada.
Duo sweatdropped. "Please?"
"Since you're being so nice, Duo, and close to the point of groveling at my feet and being my love slave for eternity, then I'll take advantage of that," Sally said with a malicious smile. "I'm in."
"Me too," Relena chimed.
"Count me in," Quatre added.
"I can be of some help," Catherine piped up.
"Let's kick ass!" Lady Une yelled, putting on her glasses.
"Lady Une? Wrong segment," Iria, who was nearest her, whispered.
"Oh, I mean, I'm in too." Lady Une looked embarrassed, but nonetheless, bitch mode was in full swing.
"And me," Iria squeaked.
"And me," Noin repeated.
"Sally, Lady Une, Noin, I leave the brilliance and plotting up to you three," Duo said, bowing deeply.
Lady Une heaved a can of ice cream at the braided boy.
"Aiieee!" Duo exclaimed as he dodged the container. It DID, however, bean Quatre on the head.
"Quatre!" Catherine and Iria shouted at the same time, rushing over to him.
Iria patted her brother's cheek softly. "Open your eyes, Quatre. Please."
Quatre dutifully did so. "Easy squeasy, lemon peasy." he said half- consciously.
"Er," Catherine pondered. "Perhaps more ice cream?"
A/N: Have you had your fill of randomness yet?
(1) And (2): A heartfelt apology to all the Spin the Bottle and I've Never writers. We loved them, don't be mad. But after seeing dozen thousands of them. the best is still Jaelle and Orla's version. They're also among our favorite GW writers. ^_~
Responses to the Uber-Nice Pipol Who Were Super-Nice Enough To Post Their Serious, Somewhat Philosophical Reviews:
First of all, doumo arigatou gozaimasu! That's how thankful we are for getting reviews!
Spooky: Yes, indeed, barfing is good. And guess what's better? MORE BARFING! 0__0;;
Wufei: Too bad 'bout that. anyway, hope your mother doesn't kick you off again! At least, we hope it's funny enough to keep you rolling in your seat.
Melancholy Girl: Ooh, convert! ::Glomps:: Thankies for reviewing! Thanks, thanks, we're quite aware of the fact that we've pretty much lost all the sane cells in our brains. Sorry for making you almost do a barf-fest, we killed off the writer of the Trowa Dorothy, yet somehow, it's still 3/D flavored! 3D, LOL! ^^
Skydancer: Thanks for sticking will L3 for this long, we're bad, yes, we don't update often, only when we're completely bored and feel like it. But you're still reviewing, yez!
~~FREE! Vocabulary Lesson!~~
And remember, the word of the day is Haler! Kind of like 'holler' but with an 'A.' Sort of like, "Hello?" Usually used after a sentence, when responding to someone stating the obvious. An example of this when used in a sentence:
Situation: Relena and Hilde talking randomly.
Hilde: You like Heero right?
Relena (rolling her eyes): Do I have to answer that question, HALER!
~~~~~END~~~~~
Luna SS: Sorry about that. Don't forget to review, okay? Oh yes, the FF.Net server seems pretty screwed, so if you see any format errors, like weird symbols inserted in place of this or that, it's not our fault. We type things correcllyy. Correctly.
By The Three Disgruntled And Seriously Fucked Up Muses of Tragedy, Discord, and Pestilence.
Disclaimer: Oh my goodness, we have forgotten the ethics of goof ficcing! Er, good ficcing! Sorry for taking too long to update, Gomen ne, gomen ne! ::Manically throws out pocky and plushies by the truckful:: So, new chapter! ::Dances in circle:: New chapter, new chapter, WHEE! More of everything evil, different, and of course, Gundam Wing! ::Releases firecrackers:: So, it's a good day to release a new chapter when you're this whacked. Yay! Don't forget to submit a pretty little review, or a pretty long with review, we accept either! And remember the cosmic rule of karma! What goes around, comes around!
BANG!
A harried looking Luna Stop Swearing runs up Luna Twysted to examine the now-dead Luna Antonio.
"Does this remind you of anything?" LSS inquired, poking the corpse with her foot, whilst dodging wild fireworks.
"Excel Saga," LT sighed, quickly opening a beach umbrella to shield herself from all the falling pocky and plushies. "We should really put her in an institution or something."
"Well, she's DEAD. Haler!"
Both look at each other, grab LA's wallet and valuables, and run off to decide how to split her belongings.
LA gasps. "Hey guys? I'm not dead yet! Guys? GUYS!"
~~~~~~~BEGINNING OF REAL CHAPTER~~~~~~~~
Chapter 12: So Much Vomit, So Little Room, So Little Air.
Duo rapped on the glass casing of the ice cream freezer.
"Who is it?" Sally asked, taking a time out from barfing.
Noin peered at the glass. "Duo and Quatre."
"Thank God!" Hilde breathed. "I thought he'd been sacrificed to the sandwich meat thing!"
Duo opened the glass door.
"Damn right we're not. I escaped Heero's clutches!" Duo claimed as he and Quatre jumped in.
"Oh my." Was all Quatre could say as he surveyed the ladies.
Duo noticed that, too.
"Is this like, bonding time?" he asked, silently wretching. "Are we disturbing anything.girly?"
"Not at all," Relena commented dryly. "We're just emptying our stomach's contents into ice cream containers just for kicks!"
"It's the latest rage in party games!" Noin added.
"No more dumb stuff like Spin The Bottle (1)!" Iria giggled.
"Or I've Never (2)," Hilde suggested.
Duo blushed. "Okay, I get the picture. Could you ladies put aside your buckets of barf and I'll tell something interesting."
"Like what?" Lady Une challenged him, jutting out her chin.
"Let's say I've found a way to get these guys back to their right minds."
Hilde raised an eyebrow. "Really, babe? Usually you're not the one with the brilliant ideas."
"Yes," Relena countered. "Heero comes up with them.when he's in his right mind."
"You give more of a hilariously demented idea, Duo," Noin admitted quietly.
Sally stood up until the glass door permitted her from doing so and grabbed Duo by the lapels and raising him at least two feet off the floor.
"CHANGE. WUFEI. BACK. NOW," she commanded.
Duo saluted. Sally was still holding him.
"I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!! HE ACTUALLY CALLED ME SALLY!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as she continued to shake the bejoseph out of Duo. "HE CALLED ME SALLY! HE CALLED ME SALLY!"
"Uh, Sally, I appreciate you appreciating my talents, but couldya please let me go?" Duo managed to choke out.
"Certainly."
Sally let him drop to the floor hard, and Duo made a big show of 'eating' air, indicating that air was good. Love air. Must have more air. Air, yum yum.
Hilde smirked.
"So, what's the big plan?" Catherine asked, getting up from her previous position.
"What happened to you?" Quatre demanded in some sort of worried-concerned- overprotective tone that no one had heard him use ever before. (A/N: Can you guess what we're hinting at???)
"Um, I guess I fainted," Catherine said sheepishly through her ice cream mask.
"Twice," Sally corrected.
Catherine nodded. "Twice."
"Why?" Quatre asked.
"Um, the first time because I saw Dorothy and Trowa hitting on each other and flirting."
Hilde wrapped both hands around her throat at the very remark and made not- so-subtle gagging sounds.
"Wait, ya mean to say that Dorothy is out there? WHY?" Duo inquired.
Lady Une wiped off the gunk on her mouth with her hand, which totally disgusted Duo and Quatre more than anything. "We voted her out. Tribal Council."
"Yeah, but WHY? What's the sense in that?"
Hilde touched her boyfriend's forehead. "Are you Duo, or some clone? Cause I can tell who's who, and you're way TOO philosophical and TOO concerned to be my Duokins!"
Duo laid an assault (a very long one) on Hilde's lips. "Well, is it me, babe?"
Hilde smiled breathlessly. "It's you Shinigami."
"Great. Now why did you vote Dorothy 'we-all-hate-her-so-much-but-deep-down- inside-she-holds-a-soft-spot-in-all-of-our-hearts-especially-Quatre's' Catalonia out of your sweet little hiding spot?" Duo asked, rephrasing the question in a way that was inoffensive to everybody.
"I." Relena took a deep breath. "I ripped her eyebrows off!"
"Holy shit!" Duo grinned. "Holy S. Hit! What were you thinking?"
"She told me that I wasn't married to Heero!"
"Uh, Miss Relena, you aren't," Duo said, making the fatal mistake of pointing it out.again.
But this time, Une and Noin stopped her from doing something similar to Duo, albeit that something having to do with his beloved locks.
"So-RRY," Duo apologized half-heartedly as Relena calmed down, backed off, and gave varying replicas of Heero Yuy's Death Glare, although none could match nor surpass the original.
"Fake eyebrows," Quatre mused. He was sitting next to Catherine, wiping the ice cream off her face with his handkerchief.
"Inane, isn't it?" Catherine said, flashing a smile.
Quatre felt his insides turn to mush. Think baby food mush. The stuff with pureed carrots, pureed wheat germ, pureed mixed vegetables, mashed squash, battered broccoli.
"Ain't that cute?" Hilde whispered to Noin, who nodded.
Personally, Noin was glad that Quatre was involved with someone other than Dorothy.
"Ahem, may I have your attention please, may I have your attention please?" Duo said in his ringmaster voice.
"Okay, right. Your plan," Iria said.
"Yeah. There was this special news bulletin. Said that 7-11 hotdogs were found to contain some sort of chemical. Something called bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo."
Everyone cracked up. (A/N: What a scary thought.)
"Bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo!" Relena ejaculated. [A/N: No, no, hentai fans, stop that thought, hold that thought, freeze it, and throw it in the Antarctic Ocean with the penguins!]
"Bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo!" Lady Une yelled, high-fiving her.
"Poo rhymes with bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo," Noin said, thoughtfully sucking her thumb.
"AND WE HAVE TO SHOCK THEM!" Duo finished loudly to be heard above the exchange of 'bladidiwackiwackiwoowoo's.'
At that moment, a clap of thunder was heard outside.
"Perfect," Sally commented, rubbing her hands together. Everything, foolish as it sounds, became somewhat normal. "All we have to do is to construct some sort of lightning rod and attach Heero and Wufei to it."
"How simple," Quatre said sarcastically, which freaked everyone out, because sarcasm wasn't even a word in good-boy-Quatre's vocabulary.
Sally scowled. "Like it or not, it's our only hope, Winner."
Quatre looked away.
"Well, who's with me?" Duo asked confidently, as usual.
"Me, of course," Hilde volunteered, snuggling up to Duo.
"Thanks, babe," Duo murmured. "Anyone else?"
Nada.
Duo sweatdropped. "Please?"
"Since you're being so nice, Duo, and close to the point of groveling at my feet and being my love slave for eternity, then I'll take advantage of that," Sally said with a malicious smile. "I'm in."
"Me too," Relena chimed.
"Count me in," Quatre added.
"I can be of some help," Catherine piped up.
"Let's kick ass!" Lady Une yelled, putting on her glasses.
"Lady Une? Wrong segment," Iria, who was nearest her, whispered.
"Oh, I mean, I'm in too." Lady Une looked embarrassed, but nonetheless, bitch mode was in full swing.
"And me," Iria squeaked.
"And me," Noin repeated.
"Sally, Lady Une, Noin, I leave the brilliance and plotting up to you three," Duo said, bowing deeply.
Lady Une heaved a can of ice cream at the braided boy.
"Aiieee!" Duo exclaimed as he dodged the container. It DID, however, bean Quatre on the head.
"Quatre!" Catherine and Iria shouted at the same time, rushing over to him.
Iria patted her brother's cheek softly. "Open your eyes, Quatre. Please."
Quatre dutifully did so. "Easy squeasy, lemon peasy." he said half- consciously.
"Er," Catherine pondered. "Perhaps more ice cream?"
A/N: Have you had your fill of randomness yet?
(1) And (2): A heartfelt apology to all the Spin the Bottle and I've Never writers. We loved them, don't be mad. But after seeing dozen thousands of them. the best is still Jaelle and Orla's version. They're also among our favorite GW writers. ^_~
Responses to the Uber-Nice Pipol Who Were Super-Nice Enough To Post Their Serious, Somewhat Philosophical Reviews:
First of all, doumo arigatou gozaimasu! That's how thankful we are for getting reviews!
Spooky: Yes, indeed, barfing is good. And guess what's better? MORE BARFING! 0__0;;
Wufei: Too bad 'bout that. anyway, hope your mother doesn't kick you off again! At least, we hope it's funny enough to keep you rolling in your seat.
Melancholy Girl: Ooh, convert! ::Glomps:: Thankies for reviewing! Thanks, thanks, we're quite aware of the fact that we've pretty much lost all the sane cells in our brains. Sorry for making you almost do a barf-fest, we killed off the writer of the Trowa Dorothy, yet somehow, it's still 3/D flavored! 3D, LOL! ^^
Skydancer: Thanks for sticking will L3 for this long, we're bad, yes, we don't update often, only when we're completely bored and feel like it. But you're still reviewing, yez!
~~FREE! Vocabulary Lesson!~~
And remember, the word of the day is Haler! Kind of like 'holler' but with an 'A.' Sort of like, "Hello?" Usually used after a sentence, when responding to someone stating the obvious. An example of this when used in a sentence:
Situation: Relena and Hilde talking randomly.
Hilde: You like Heero right?
Relena (rolling her eyes): Do I have to answer that question, HALER!
~~~~~END~~~~~
Luna SS: Sorry about that. Don't forget to review, okay? Oh yes, the FF.Net server seems pretty screwed, so if you see any format errors, like weird symbols inserted in place of this or that, it's not our fault. We type things correcllyy. Correctly.
