Happy Birthday Samus!

Welcome back to the hardly-fabulous, almost-wonderful world of my weirdly warped imagination! Oo

Chapter three! And how about a review at the end? You know I love that! :)


The Party

Mr. Game and Watch rang his bell, startling the Smashers and making those nearest to him jump in surprise. "Samus is here! SAMUS IS HERE! HIIIIIIIDE!" He screamed at everyone. As Mr. Game and Watch ran around the room yelling insanely, Peach gave all the lost people places to hide as Pikachu switched the lights off, Fox and Falco threw the remaining paper plates on the nearest table and dove underneath the tablecloth, Marth was running around double-checking everything and Zelda, who was hiding behind the table closest to the cake, kept a close eye on anyone who came within ten meters of her new prized possession, the fresh new cake.

The door slowly creaked open. Giggles could be heard form the other side, and two shadowy figures appeared in the doorway, silhouetted against the deep, orange, evening sky.

"What the... who turned out the lights?" came someone's voice.

"I dunno..." mumbled someone else. Fumbling sounds were heard for a while. "Aha, found 'em."

CLICK! The lights flickered on.

"SUUUUUURRRRPPPPRRRRIIIIIISSSEEE!!"

Samus staggered back. Twenty-four heads had popped out from behind tables, chairs, crates, bars and pillars, all smiling happily and holding colourfully wrapped presents. She gaped at them, and then, when she turned to Daisy, she saw that she, too, was beaming at her.

"Happy Birthday!" She said, and hugged Samus. Samus laughed uncertainly, still not taking in what was in front of her. The walls had been painted a dark orange colour, balloons and banners flooded the roof, disco balls had been hung from the ceiling, the tables had been shifted aside so that there was space in the middle for dancing... the whole room had been redone to suit the party. A bar had even been installed to the side of the room, and there was also an enormous stage with a Karaoke machine to one side.

"Oh... O-oh my god..." Samus stuttered, clapping her hands over her mouth. People emerged from their hiding places, all greeting Samus with a handshake or a hug and presenting her with a gift. She said thank you to everyone in turn, but her insides clenched together as she realised that Marth was no where to be seen. She was already thinking of excuses for his absence. He couldn't make it, he had other business to attend to, or maybe there was an emergency he had to leave for...or he... he didn't want to? No, surely not.

But then, Samus's theories were proved wrong as Marth emerged from the left archway of the Great Hall, his arm around Roy's back and underneath his arm to help him walk. He was walking extremely well, considering he had broken both of his legs. Oo

"Marth!" Samus screamed, not able to contain her joy. It felt like ages since she'd seen him last. Marth's smile broadened as Samus ran closer, and when she reached him, they wrapped their arms tightly around one another, and kissed. There was a low and admiring, "Awwww..." from their audience, but then there was a gasp and a loud "Thud!" at their feet.

They quickly broke the kiss, and, looking to the floor, they saw Roy on his back once more.

"Roy!" Marth and Samus screamed in unison. They both bent down and put an arm under each of Roy's, to help him up.

"Roy, I'm so sorry!" Samus stammered as they hoisted him up.

"Oh, don't worry about it." Roy laughed. His face was pale, but he was smiling, at least. "It's happened so many times to me that I half expected it to happen anyway, so it didn't hurt as much. Here," He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small brown box, covered in leather. At first, Marth's eyes widened as he thought it was a ring. But once Samus had opened it to reveal a necklace with a silver chain and a golden metroid attached to it, Marth smiled and nodded his approval to Roy. Samus squealed in delight when she saw it.

"Oh, it's beautiful, Roy!" She beamed at him, and embraced in a warm hug. Roy winced as she crunched his arms, and Samus let him go instantly, but he grinned and laughed, saying how good it made him feel that she liked it.

Samus had received many other gifts, besides the pendant Roy got her and Daisy's dresses, of which included a bracelet from Peach, some nice smelling soaps from Zelda and a flowery clock from Link. However, the oddest gift of all was from Y'Link, Nana and Popo, they had given her a potato peeler. When she looked up and was about to say "What the hell?!", they just smiled mischievously and then ran off when Peach walked up behind them. Oo What are they hiding?

By the time Samus had finished unwrapping all of her presents and saying how great they all were, it was eight o' clock at night and dark outside. But the party was far from over.

The flashing, coloured lights were turned on, the disco ball began to spin and the tables were filled with people sitting, chatting, eating and drinking. The only unchanging light was that of the stage at the front, which had white lights directed upon the center of the stage as Pikachu, Pichu and Pikacyllia stumbled around on the stage in dark glasses, waving sticks, singing a rendition of "Three Blind Mice Rock" (Not exactly hard-core party music, but still quite relevant, right?), and the dim light of the bar.

Almost everyone, however, was dancing. Zelda and Link were spinning around in the center of the floor, and everyone clapped as they danced ever so swiftly to the music. Kirby was boogying with Jigglypuff, Daisy and Luigi were shakin' their booties together, and Roy had even asked Peach to dance, although he couldn't quite keep up with her and ended up falling to the floor at least three more times.

When Jigglypuff finally got up to sing, Samus dragged Marth onto the dance floor and prepared to dance. The lights began to flash on and off upon the stage, and then they turned a light, misty shade of pink. Everyone gasped in awe when Jigglypuff appeared on the stage, wearing a tight, sparkling gold one-piece dress, bright red, high-heeled shoes, and a brown wig that had curly hair and also sparkling glitter scattered through it. She had her back facing the audience, who were all staring intently upon her.

She tapped her foot to the beat, then, still with her body facing away, turned her head and said, in a very sexy voice unlike Jigglypuff's usual high-pitched squeals, mumbled "Hit it."

The song, Crazy in Love, by Beyoncé Knowles, came blaring through the speakers, and Jigglypuff spun around and began dancing and singing, she was an extremely good dancer, and an even better singer.

"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's - Got me looking so crazy right now, in love," She sang. Everyone clapped and cheered and started to dance, shaking their bodies and getting rather... erm... raunchy... XD

Kirby bounced in and started rapping, wearing a leather jacket and a cap back-to-front, plus a pair of dark, tinted sunglasses. (¯¶.¶¯) (Kirby in dark glasses! HAHA! Ahem anyway...) At this rate, Marth thought to himself, no one will fall asleep!

"Marth!" Samus yelled over the music to Marth as they danced. "Did you arrange all this?"

Marth smiled. "Well, most of it!" He yelled back. "Peach helped quite a lot, too. I would have gone insane if she hadn't been here!" Samus laughed, and leaned closer to him.

"Thank you... thanks so much, it really... made my day..." Samus said, quieter now that she was closer to him. Marth smirked at her.

"I'm sorry we had to stall you, with DK and Daisy." Marth apologized. "We had to keep you away while we prepared it all."

"You shouldn't have gone to all the trouble," Samus giggled, even closer now. Marth didn't feel at all uncomfortable with the music blaring and the lights flashing.

"Oh, it was... er... no trouble," Marth lied, looking away briefly. He was sure that if anything else went wrong while they were preparing, he would have murdered someone... ANYONE! (He had the thought of killing Ness in mind, though, so just to extinguish his flaming anger he pulled out a photo of Ness and set it alight, then stomped in it until it was mere ash Oo)

"Well, thanks anyway, a lot..." Samus said again, and, trying to ignore the fact that Marth's boot was flaming a little, she leant over and kissed him on the cheek. Marth felt his face burning red, but he hoped that the flashing lights covered his blushing cheeks. All of a sudden, Peach came walking up to the two.

"Hi, guys!" She yelled over Jigglypuff's song.

"Hi, Peach!" Samus yelled back. "The food is great!"

"Oh, well..." Peach said, blushing. "I had Zelda's help. And I was going to make some chips, too, but the potato peeler was missing and I didn't have time to go down to the shops and get another one..." Peach sighed, but Samus reached into her pocket and felt the potato peeler that the kids had given to her. They stole it to give me a present! She thought, clenching her fist. Then she sighed. How sweet... She smiled to herself, and kept dancing.

Jigglypuff bounced off the stage as everyone hooted and whistled at her fantastic performance. She waved to her fans and then skipped over to grab some grub. At the food tables, she accidentally bumped into Pikacyllia, who was inspecting a dodgy looking salad that DK prepared.

"Oh, sorry, Cyl!" Jigglypuff cried when she made Pikacyllia drop her fork. 'Cyl' was her nickname, by the way.

"Oh, it's okay." Pikacyllia replied, brushing her earrings out of her face. "That was a great song you did up there!"

"Aww, thanks!" Jigglypuff said, but she didn't blush. She loved all the attention. "Kirby helped, of course. I don't know what I'd do without him..." She sighed dreamily, and them started scooping charred sausages and onions onto her plate (Bowser cooked them Oo). "So, anyway," She began again. "How are things with you and Pichu?"

"Well, we're going good," Pikacyllia said smiling. "Things have been nice, you know?"

Jigglypuff raised an eyebrow. "I see... nice..." She mumbled, returning to dishing DK's salad onto her plate. Pikacyllia frowned.

"What?" She asked, curious at Jigglypuff's antics. "What are you thinking?"

"Well, nothing..." Jigglypuff said, meeting Pikacyllia's gaze once more and smirking a little. "But when things are just... nice... well, don't you want anything more?" She said with a tone that implied she meant more to the word 'more' than one would first think.

"Like what? We're happy, you know..." Pikacyllia argued, now more confused.

"Well, I mean, with me and Kirby," Jigglypuff whispered. "We like to... well... things are nice... but they get... fiery, too... you know... dirty..." She giggled and Pikacyllia looked to the floor, embarrassed to be having the conversation.

"We have... our moments..." Pikacyllia said, not wanting Jigglypuff to tease her.

"Oh, come on! Have you even done it yet?" Jigglypuff squealed as she nudged Pikacyllia with her elbow. (Wait... does Jigglypuff even have elbows? I mean, she has, like, stumpy little pink floppy things that hang off her sides and resemble the general formation of arms... but are there elbows there? Any joints at all? BONES? I mean, how come she doesn't just flop to the ground in a mushy heap of wet and soggy pink fur that is useless for anything but- erm... getting off topic... MOVING ON...)

Pikacyllia gasped. Maybe Pichu and her needed to... er... do it. The truth was... they actually hadn't... yet. She frowned and turned to Jigglypuff. "I... er... have to go... seeya!" And with that, she ran off to find Pichu. Jigglypuff smiled to herself.

Ah, young love ... she thought to herself. How it blossoms... Sighing, she thoughtlessly took a bit of the lettuce from DK's salad and ate it, but then started to gag on its horrid taste, making her run out of the room to the bathroom Oo.

Pichu was talking to Dr. Mario about how many pills he takes a day, which was apparently quite a lot, for a doctor, when Pikacyllia waltzed up and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Pichu," She whispered into his ear. "Can you... er... come with me?"

Pichu almost choked on the sausage roll he was eating. Spitting it out onto his plate, he turned to face Pikacyllia. It was like looking into a mirror, except for the fact that Pikacyllia had very thick eyelashes, was wearing large ball-like earrings and, most obviously, a red dress.

"Why? What is it?" He asked, looking around for danger.

"N-nothing... it's just... well..." She stuttered, looking a little embarrassed. "Well, we've known each other for a long time now... and we haven't... you know, had... er... you know... yet... you get me?"

Pichu grinned. "Pikacyllia, do you want to have sex with me?" He asked her, grinning even more broadly. Pikacyllia looked shocked at first, but then nodded slightly, looking down.

"If you don't... I mean... I'm sorry if I..." She began to back away, blushing like mad, wishing she's never said anything. But Pichu smiled, walked over to her and picked her up.

"Yeah baby! LET'S GO GET A ROOM!" He yelled, shoving his plate with his saliva-covered sausage roll on it into Dr. Mario's hands. He ran off, out of the Hall, still carrying a giggling Pikacyllia, into one of the empty dormitory rooms. Oo Okay, don't ask me WHY I put that in there, but someone else deserved a mention in this story, and no one knows who Pikacyllia is, so there you go.

Roy and Peach had moved over to sit down at one of the tables that weren't lined with food after Jigglypuff had finished her song, because Peach was worried about Roy's legs. Although he claimed to be fine, Peach still felt conscious about it and thought of herself as a bad nurse if she ignored it.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" Peach asked Roy for the third time, insisting that he must be sore somewhere.

"I'm fine! Don't worry, let's just have a good time, okay?" He grumbled. Peach raised an eyebrow at him and looked as though she was about to say something more, but eventually she reached across and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Roy grabbed a party hat and popped it on his head, and gave a cheesy grin. Peach laughed.

"You're a freak," She giggled between mouthfuls. They both laughed again and stared at each other... their smiles faded as they looked into each other's eyes. Peach's glistening pink lips parted softly, and Roy gulped. They leaned in at the same time, edging off their seats and coming closer to one another's lips... and then-

"Peach," Said someone behind them. They both shot upright, and Roy turned and pretended to be watching Daisy singing a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song (I got a date with therrrr niiiight!), while Peach turned around to see Mario standing behind her.

"Yes?" She said, sounding rather annoyed.

"Uhhm..." Mario started. "W-would you like to dance?" He asked her sincerely, holding out his gloved hand.

Peach's face softened. She took a deep breath, and felt herself feeling sorry for Mario. If she said no to him, he'd be heartbroken. With a quick glance at Roy, who was still pretending to be preoccupied, she turned back to Mario. "Of course," She said politely, and he led her to the dance floor, arms linked.

As he watched them walk away, Roy looked to the ceiling a let out a groan. He had been so close... if only Mario would rack off somewhere...

He got up and limped off, trying to find somewhere he could escape too. Eventually, he stopped in front of the study, it was bound to be empty whilst everyone was partying. He pushed open the doors, but was then deluged in a mound of whiteness as paper came gushing out of the doors like and endless waterfall.

"Aargh!" Roy yelled as he was knocked off his feet. After a while the paper stopped gushing, and as he lay under the Paper Mountain, he heard the distant sounds of the printer, still printing. And then, he heard a woman's voice-

"Printing; complete."


"Thank you, Daisy, lovely song," Said Falco as Daisy stepped down from the stage. Marth had selected Falco as the 'Host'. "And, now, it's time for a bit of fun! Will you all welcome Y'Link, Popo and Nana!" Everyone clapped, and Samus turned to Marth.

"You prepared games?! That's so sweet, Marth!" She whispered to him. Marth chuckled nervously, and loosened his collar. It had suddenly become very hot in the Great Hall.

"Hello, everyone!" Popo said, after he had adjusted the microphone so that it was down to his height. "We have heaps of games prepared tonight, but can you all first come into the center of the floor?"

Everyone got up, smiling and whispering to each other. What had the kids got planned for them?

"Okay," Nana said into the microphone. "Find a partner..." Marth grabbed Samus's arm. "... and then we can begin the game, PICTIONARY!"

"Oh, I love this game, Marth, how did you know?" Samus said, amazed at how great the party was going to be.

"I...erm... lucky guess, I suppose..." Marth said to her, wiping his sweating forehead.

There was a loud ringing noise from the speakers as Y'Link adjusted the microphone once again. People clapped their hands over their ears.

"Oops, sorry," He said. "Well, come up here when you're ready for the word. You can start as soon as you get back! The first six pairs up here go onto the next round!" He pulled out a small card that had the item they had to draw on it, and whispered the object to people as the came up.

Samus insisted that she draw first, so Marth took a seat behind her and watched intently as she walked up to the stage and put her ear to Y'Link's mouth to hear the object. She smiled and then ran back to the clipboard in front of Marth, and snatching up the pen, she began to draw.

At first, the picture looked like a box, so Marth began shouting...

"Box! Cube! Container!"

Then she drew wavy lines in it... like... water?

"Er... ocean? Box of water? Kiloliters?" Samus shook her head and kept drawing. She then drew some sort of triangle-looking shape inside... then more little triangle-shaped thingies attached to circles...

"What the..."

Samus turned around and smiled. "Got it yet?"

Marth widened his eyes in thought. "Erm..."

"Oh, c'mon!" Samus shouted. "It's easy!"

Marth looked up at the stage, Mewtwo was standing next to Popo, beaming, along with Zelda, Kirby and Daisy. There were two more places left.

"C'MON, MARTH!" Samus screamed. She drew more wavy lines at the bottom, going vertical, and then Marth realized that the wavy lines were seaweed, that the other horizontal waves were water, the triangles were fish...

"Aquarium!" He screamed. Samus jumped up and down and nodded, pointing him in the direction of the stage. He raced up to it, next to Pikachu, and they both yelled it at the same time.

"AQUARIUM!" Marth and Pikachu screamed at the top of their lungs.

"STOOOOOP!" Nana screamed into the microphone. "We have the six winners!"

Bowser and Ganondorf, Mario and Peach, Mr. Game and Watch and Dr. Mario and Fox and Ness were all out. Bowser and Ganondorf roared and ran off to the bar, where DK was sitting, face down on the counter and drunk as a doornail, Mario and Peach shrugged and sat down, Mr. G&W and Dr. Mario cried and Fox booted Ness in the head because his drawing looked more like an empty can of Baked Beans rather than an aquarium.

The six people returned to their clipboards, and they swapped pens with their partners. As Marth took the pen from Samus, he saw the three kids looking at him, and grinning maliciously. Marth gulped, and turned over a new page.

"Okay, first three people this time!" Y'Link bellowed through the speakers. Marth ran up to the stage and leant close to Nana, who whispered to him; "Stiffen". Marth's eyes widened, and he looked at Nana, who stifled a laugh and turned to whisper it to Zelda, who's eye's turned as large as dinner plates when she heard it, making Nana laugh even harder.

Marth ran back to his clipboard. The word 'stiffen' triggers only one picture to mind... so, if he wanted to win... he had to draw it.

Samus looked on in curiosity as he began drawing. He firstly drew the basic body shape of a man...

"Person!" Samus shouted. "Man! Human Being! Homosapian! Erm... What's that? Hand? Long Legs? Daddy Long Legs! Oh.. is that a leg... or... oh... OH... OH MY GOD, MARTH! Is that a- a- er... Free Willie? Mobey Dick? Um... boner?" She said quietly. Marth then drew the... um... thingy... sticking... um... straight up... Oo

"Oh god... erm..." She lowered her voice, "Erection? Woody? Stiffy?"

"Close!" Marth yelled desperately.

"Stiffen?"

"YES!" Screamed Marth, now exhausted. Samus leapt out of her seat and dashed towards the stage.

She leant close to Y'Link and said, "Erm... was it... stiffen?" Nana and Popo cackled with laughter and Y'Link smiled and nodded.

After Yoshi had jumped up on the stage, Popo halted everyone and said they had three. Pikachu and C. Falcon were out, but they had red faces that looked as though they had been laughing hard. Jigglypuff was complaining that Kirby's drawing looked wrong and the two of them were arguing all the way to their table. And, although the audience was laughing at the drawings that people had done, no one was laughing harder and louder than Luigi and Daisy.

They had tears in their eyes, Luigi's face was red from laughing too hard and Daisy was clutching her sides in hysterics. When Marth and Samus saw what Daisy had drawn, they, too, began laughing.

Daisy had drawn what looked vaguely like a man, walking down the street. There was a naked woman standing next to him, and his pants were ripped at the front and there was his... manhood... sticking out straight, poking the woman in the eye. Apparently, Luigi had known what the answer was, but was too busy rolling around on the floor laughing to run to the stage and tell Popo the answer. Oo

It was down to Zelda and Link, Mewtwo and Yoshi, and Marth and Samus. Zelda waved to Samus, who giggled and waved back, as they both ran up to the stage to hear the word.

"It's the first person up here to win, guys!" Marth heard Y'Link call from up stage.

"Okay," Samus said as she sped back to the clipboard.

Samus drew a picture that was unmistakably Ness, Marth knew that familiar stupid hat and stripped shirt. Then, Samus drew Fox bashing him over the head, and then drew and arrow pointing away from them to show what happened next. Ness dead on the ground and Fox running off in the distance.

"Er... is it... Happiness? Fun?" Marth guessed, smirking. "Oh! Oh! It's Joy to The World, isn't it!"

"No, Marth," said Samus scowling. "Try harder."

Marth frowned. What the hell was it? It was funny... hehe... but...

"STOOOOP!" Nana called.

Marth screwed his face up and Samus sighed. Zelda and Link had won, and they were up the front receiving their basket of goods as a prize.

"What was the answer?" Marth asked, turning to Samus.

"Um... hit-and-run..." Samus replied, standing back to admire her work. "Hmm," She said as she stared at the picture of a dead Ness. "I think I'll buy a frame for that."

After Pictionary, Y'Link, Popo and Nana played a game of 'Graveyard', where you have to lie as still as you can and pretend you're dead (Ness won, but people later found out he was unconscious, so he was disqualified, and the basket of goods went to Mr. G&W). After Graveyard they asked everyone to play Musical Chairs. Samus won, and after she had jumped up and down screaming in joy, she was also given a basket of goods. While she received the gift, she secretly thanked the kids for her present. They blushed when they found out she knew they had nicked it from the kitchens, but were pleased that Samus liked it.

It was then that they all sat down for some cake. Samus walked up to the enormous orange cake and grabbed a huge knife that lay next to the tray. However, she grabbed Marth and dragged him up with her, placed his hand on hers as she clutched the knife, and together, (and much to the annoyance of Zelda, whose eyes had become tiny slits as she watched them destroy her prized possession), they sliced the cake. The whole thing was gone in about half an hour, everyone had at least three slices, and Marth could swear that he saw Zelda slipping the "Happy Birthday Samus" sign that was on top into her pocket Oo.

It was now extremely late at night, about midnight, most people were at the bar getting drunk, dancing again or still sitting and talking. Dr. Mario was on stage singing 'Purple Pills', "I've been to Mushroom Mountain, once or twice but hey whose countin'...", whilst Peach had gone off to tend to Roy once again, apparently he was knocked down by a gush of paper from the study. (Peach had blushed pinker than her dress when she realised she'd never checked the printing she had done before #.#). Meanwhile, Zelda and Link were trying to convince a hammered DK he could tap-dance on the table whilst balancing a glass on his head, and, since he was so drunk, they succeeded and proved them right (although they went through about twelve glasses O.o).

This left Marth and Samus alone for a while, and Marth took this as his chance. He sat for a while staring at Samus's beautiful, freckled face... along with her red hair, Samus had always reminded Marth of strawberrys.

"Samus?" He said to get her attention. She turned her head to face him.

"Yeah, babe?" She said, and yawned.

"I... I just wanted you to know that... I l-love you..." Marth stuttered.

Samus smiled a smile more beautiful than ever before. Her sky-blue eyes gleamed as she spoke. "I love you too, Marth." She said. They had never said that they loved each other before...

"And..." Marth spoke again. "I wanted to ask you something..." Samus raised an eyebrow. "We... we've known each other for ages, now, ever since that first day I saw you without your armour, I knew..." He paused, and reached into his pocket and pulled a small, velvet box. Samus gasped. "Which is why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you... marry me?" He asked her quietly, as he opened the box to reveal a glistening, five-diamond ring. Samus was taken aback. This was her birthday present? Tears of joy and love and affection swelled in her eyes as she bent down and hugged Marth tightly.

"Yes..." she sobbed, wiping tears from her eyes. "Yes, of course I will, you twit!" And Marth laughed in relief as she kissed him passionately on the lips, and Marth slipped the ring on her third finger on her left hand. They wrapped their hands around each others and kept kissing, not noticing that Jigglypuff had stopped singing right in the middle of her song, Daisy had dropped the glass she was drinking from and the whole room was gaping at them, eyes wide as they watched them kiss.

"Ooooh my gooood..." Zelda gasped under her breath, as DK collapsed and toppled off the table, crushing a squealing Link.


Yay! That means a weddingz0r! Anyway... last chapter... can you handle it? Naw... I don't think you can... ;)