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Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with "Third Watch". That honor belongs solely to Edward Bernero, John Wells, and a bunch of other damned lucky people.
Author's Note: First off I have to give a HUGE thank you to those of you who reviewed. Thank you all so very much for all your incredibly kind words! When I checked back and saw the response this little old fic was getting, it made my day! Thanks again for all the support and the encouragement… keep it coming!! :o)
And secondly, I'm sorry it took so long to get this thing up, and I apologize for how short it is, but this second installment of the prologue was really killing me. I must have reworked this thing at least a dozen times, and I finally settled on this version even though it still bugs me a bit. The overall feel of this chapter it a bit different from the first… hopefully it doesn't read too choppy or too sappy… though I suppose the shippers should soak it up, cause that won't last. Anyway, I got sick of how damn disagreeable my brain was being when it came to this chapter so I decided to wrap it up and get started on the actual story, which is proving to write out a lot faster and a lot smoother… thank you lord!
Okay… now that that's out of the way… lets get it goin'! ~L
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The Way Things Change
Prologue II
The darkness that swirled around him shrouded nearly everything it touched. The familiar landscape of his bedroom was almost completely lost to him, with only the slightest of outlines visible. It should have made him uneasy since he had never been comfortable with the dark. Its cold emptiness held too many things he didn't want to remember, and was home to far too many ghosts that would never let him forget. From the time he was a little boy the dark had gone hand in hand with pain, with fear. But now, the rare shadows that invaded his bedroom didn't seem quite so menacing, or quite so haunting. Instead of anxiety, it was a strange and almost absurd calm that plagued him now, allowing him a sense of peace that he hadn't felt in such a long time.
But how could he feel at peace when so many things would never be right again? How could he allow himself even the smallest moment of happiness when some of those closest to him were in their darkest hour?
The reason for his odd tranquility wasn't some great mystery or carefully hidden truth. That reason was glaringly obvious to him. That reason had appeared at his door just after midnight, looking sorrowful and broken. And now that reason lay sleeping in his arms, cloaked in the same restful dark.
While the desire for sleep tugged at his exhausted body, the need to savor her presence proved far more powerful and he kept his eyes open, allowing his thoughtful gaze to rest upon her barely visible face. He wasn't exactly sure of what had brought her to him, of what had made her do the things she did, but in all honesty, reasons didn't mater right then, and neither did answers. The only thing he gave a damn about was keeping her close to him until the moment came where everything would change. And that moment would come. Because there was one truth he couldn't deny and one fact he couldn't pretend away.
She wasn't supposed to be there, and once morning came, she would be gone, taking with her his perfect peace.
And unfortunately, that was an outcome he couldn't bring himself to face. Because even the harsh reality of the situation didn't change the fact that the last thing he wanted was to have to let her go. All he wanted was to freeze that moment, to hold on to it and keep it safe from the future, from the fallout that awaited them. And though he knew it wouldn't be possible, he wanted to push all the doubt and the uncertainty away, close his eyes, and pretend that there was nothing to regret and nothing to be sorry for. Truthfully, he needed that calm before the storm, because he could already feel it brewing on the horizon, threatening to destroy whatever it was he had found in her arms.
Feeling his body tense at the thought, his arms tightened around her, and he pressed his lips softly to the top of her head as a strange protective anger washed over him.
'I can't loose her…'But it was a selfish thought really, one rooted in desperation and denial. He knew very well that she could fade out of his life forever. He just wanted to believe that she wouldn't, even though their actions had all but guaranteed that she would. What other choice did she have? She was a mother… a wife, and this, he imagined, was not included her plans for the future. She might just decide to cut the cord as they say, and sever all ties with him and the relationship they had shared for the past ten years.
But while he was aware of the possibilities lurking in the shadows, he still wanted nothing more than to chase them away with what lay on the flip side of the coin.
Faith loved him.
She wouldn't have done what she did if that weren't the case. She wouldn't have sacrificed her life in every sense of the word if they had been 'just partners'. And if she loved and cared about him that much, then there would be no way she could let go of him. You don't walk away from something that powerful, it's just not possible. Besides, what the hell was he supposed to do without her? How could he possibly face what awaited him in the morning without her beside him?
And again, his answer was simple… he couldn't.
He had spent most of life trying to be a person who didn't need anyone, and so far he had succeeded. He didn't need just anyone… he needed her. And after the past few hours, he had never been more certain of anything in his life. He needed what Faith did for him and what she gave him. Because over the years she had become more than a friend, more than a partner, she had become part of him, the other half of 55-David and the other half of himself in a lot of ways.
But who was he to believe that any of his needs would ever really change the inevitable? Because the brutal truth of it was that he couldn't see a happy ending for this one. Faith had a whole other life that needed her more than he ever would, and as his eyes traced her barely lit profile, his tired mind finally gave in to the beaten understanding that though she was very much alive, he had probably just lost the only person who every really mattered.
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T.B.C…. and so it shall begin… that is of course, if you guys are still liking this…. ;o) Oh, and don't forget to R&R!!
Thank You!
~L
