All the Days By Camilla Sandman

Disclaimer: Blue Heelers is the property of Channel Seven and its affiliates. I claim no ownership.

Author's Notes: This is an AU, an alternate universe where Tess is indeed pregnant by Josh, but things spin off in a different direction from there.

II

The sun rose with a spectacle of light, seeming to burn the skies and the clouds as it chased darkness away yet again. The eternal cycle; day became night became day became night. Forever and always time went on, day by day, heartbeat by heartbeat.

Tess Gallagher could feel her heartbeat echo through her body, beating for two now. A fragile heartbeat, so easily drowned out and engulfed by darkness. It seemed so strange that such a fragile thing could mean so much.

Life. Her life and her unborn child's. She dared not think of it by name yet, as if a name would curse it. She didn't even know if it was a boy or girl. A part of her hoped for a girl, a daughter she could raise to make the world more beautiful. A part of her hoped for a boy, a son she could see Jonesy teach soccer and grin proudly at.

Strange how Evan had snuck his way into her visions of the future, bit by bit. Now she could not envision the future without him there, even though she dared not admit it. It was a morning fantasy, a little shelter from reality before she got up and faced the day. Just a little fantasy.

He'd asked her to marry him when he had found out she was pregnant, an act so stunning she sometimes wondered if it was part of the fantasy. It wasn't his child. He had no obligations to do anything and owed her nothing. Yet he had asked her to marry him.

In her little morning fantasy, she had said yes. A silly little fantasy. In real life, he was only her friend, even if he had promised to be by her through the whole pregnancy and beyond. She had just asked for friendship, but the moment had seemed so filled with much more. She didn't really dare to consider what.

The alarm clock went off, its shrill sound tearing through the fantasy and heralding day. With a sigh, she rolled over and smacked it silent. She let one hand rest on her stomach for just a second longer, marvelling again that there was a life growing inside her. One heartbeat for two lives.

The day promised to be warm and lazy, the sun burning white in the sky as she ventured out. One or two clouds drifted lazily, seeming to be in no hurry at all. The weatherman had promised rain this day, but the light clouds of white fluff looked devoid of any rain at all. If rain was coming, it was still hiding beyond the horizon in dark clouds.

The horizon always hid dark clouds. Perhaps just as well, sometimes it was best not to know what storms were to come.

The station was quiet as Tess entered, Jo and Ben giving her a muted greeting as she slipped in. Evan was nowhere to be seen, and she chided herself for feeling a sting of disappointment. Hormonal imbalance, that was all.

A moment later, his soft humming came drifting through from the lockerroom, sounding upbeat. She forced herself to walk slowly in its direction, resisting the impulse to run.

He looked up as soon as she entered, his gaze seeming to devour her whole.

"Sleep well?"

"Dreamlessly," she replied, smiling.

He grinned at her, seeming to take delight in her delight. He was happy because she was happy. She didn't know why that meant so much to her, but it did.

"Kid didn't keep you up kicking and demanding to be let out?"

"It's still early days, Evan."

"I know." He gave her a wink, looking very pleased with himself. "I've been reading this book..."

The door opened to reveal Jo, looking curious at their good mood. "We had a report of a heated fight. Someone driving past the Gorge reckon he saw two men going at it."

"We'll take it," Tess replied. "Come on, bookworm. Let's get some actual work done."

Jonesy smirked at her as they walked out. "You need to learn to appreciate the joys of literature. I have just the book for you to start with."

"Dare I ask?"

"Kama sutra. Very stimulating bedtime reading."

"You're impossible," she informed him, but even to her own ears she sounded hopelessly gushy. Hormones, for sure.

"No, just cheeky," he replied, opening the car door for her. She gave him a suitably stern look before getting in, wondering if he'd next start carrying cushions for her to sit on. He had been acting a bit as if she was made of glass of late. Baby or no baby, she could still open the doors herself and carry her own things. She could manage on her own; she didn't need to depend on him, even if she wished to.

She got the car in gear, concentrating on her driving before her mind could run onto complicated trains of thoughts. Her life was troubled enough, and she'd just managed a balance between having him as close as she needed and keeping him as distant as she felt comfortable with. It was a tricky balance; the last thing she needed was to upset anything.

He gave her a sideway look as they drove on, but said nothing until they reached the Gorge. A van was parked across the road recklessly. The engine was still humming, but it was otherwise quiet.

"Driver seems to have gone missing," Evan observed, eyeing the horizon. "He can't have gone far."

She nodded, eyes sweeping across the ground until something red on the ground caught her attention. "Evan..."

He followed her gaze. "Is that blood?"

"Yes. You better radio it in, I think we have a situation on our hands."

He nodded, a hand resting on his gun. She kept her own hand hovering by her side, scanning the area tensely. A light breeze swept up some dust, tossing it away a second later. She bent down by the blood, only then noticing something was under the car. A man, gun aimed at her.

The van's engine coughed and died. Even before her hand reached for the gun, she felt something hard crash against her head and her vision turned white and painful.

She wanted to call out to Evan, to warn him, but her body seemed to slip out of her control and become distant. The sun seemed to lose its light, and thankfully the pain started to die away. She more smelt than felt the dust, realising she had fallen to the ground and that a gun was pointed at her.

The last thing she felt was her fragile heartbeat, sounding muted and alone.

Darkness embraced her.