Rose: Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better then you!

Raiden: No you cant!

Rose: Yes I can! Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better then you!

Raiden: No you cant!

Rose: Yes I can!

Raiden: No you cant!

Rose: Yes I can!

Raiden: No you cant!

Rose: Yes I caaaaaaaaaaaa. . .

*gunshot*

*Raiden blows smoke from his Socom*

Anyway... onto the pointless fic!

Metal Gear Solid 2 1/2: INSIDE THE BIG SHELL! RAIDEN FOUND STILLMAN AND SUCH. They talk, etc. etc., and I'll just start here.

Pliskin: Lets see if that sensor works.

Stillman: k.

*Stillman switchs on Sensor*

Raiden: What's that icky green stuff?

Stillman: Hell if I know. Fatman always liked to use this perfume from Victoria Secrets, so that may be it. Now... I've established a linkup with your radar so be sure you don't get caught, or it'll jam... or something. Hell, you dudes are the stealth experts, you figure it out.

*Pliskin takes coolant and Sensor A*

Pliskin: Kid, this place is all yours, I'll take care of Shell 1

Raiden: Uh.. We're in Shell 1?

Pliskin: Uh.. Shell 2. Yeah, I ment Shell 2. Now Raiden, this is the coolant spray, just because you have an ungodly amount of it doesn' t mean you can go sticking it up your ass every now and then. Just because it has that nozzle that'll screw up somewhere dirty doesn't mean... !

Raiden: Got it!

Pliskin: Uh.. Petey, you stay here.

Stillman: k, I'll be chillin' in the pantry.

Pliskin: Take care, semper fi, live long and prosper, nano-nano

*Pliskin leaves*

Stillman: ...That man is no SEAL

Raiden: No shat sherlock! Any man who talks like my grandmother isn't a SEAL

Stillman: Your grandmother was a SEAL?

Raiden: Of course! You know you can see her in action in demo mode?

Stillman: Demo mode?

Raiden: Omg! You haven't played Substance? If you haven't you should! Raiden is a streaker in that one too!

Stillman: Is he now?

Raiden: Yes! He's got buns of steel!

Stillman: Looks like I'll have to check it out... Wait, what am I talking about! Get to work on those C4!

*Raiden leaves the room and codec calls*

Pliskin: How you doing, kid?

Raiden: Snake! Where've you been?

Pliskin: ... Snake died.

Raiden: Oh yeah, that's later in the game.

Pliskin: Yeah, duh.

Raiden: Were you really a SEAL?

Pliskin: ...maybe.

Raiden: Is Vamp a bisexual?

Pliskin: Yep, he was the lover of Military Commando: David Hayter

Raiden: David Hayter? Isn't that...?

Pliskin: So you noticed... not bad for a rookie.

Raiden: It can't be...! The President?!

Pliskin: What! No! He's the voice actor!

Raiden: I wanna have a voice like that! Switch!

*voices get mixed around*

Raiden(Snake voice): Yeah, now that's better... Pliskin?

Pliskin: Does this uniform make me look fat?

Raiden: ...why do you sound like Rose?

Pliskin: We never talk anymore! Am I not good enough for you!? Where are your clothes?

Raiden: Whoa.. I'm naked... Guess I took 'em off when I wasn't looking.

Pliskin: What an ass! Shake it baby!

Raiden: Where are you, Pliskin?

Pliskin: Where I can see ya!

*codec goes off*

Raiden: Hold on, I'm getting another call.*

Rose: Jack, do you remember the day we met?

Raiden: Solidus?!

Rose: ... maybe. Damn I feel like a woman! Look at my breasts... they're even bigger now! Hell, I don't even need the suit for this incredible feat!

Raiden: Look, I'm naked, I've been shot at, had gernades thrown at me, blown away by a harrier, slipped on bird shit, pissed on by a soldier, and cheated death on a skateboard! This is NOT MY DAY!

Rose: No you haven't...

Raiden: Well that's what the script says! How should I know, I just work here!

Rose: Just answer the f*ckin' question, dammit!

Raiden: Rose, when I get back... I'll tell you everything.

Rose: Whoa, my butt! That baby is huge too! er... Is that... a proposal?

Raiden: No. Oh, and Rose? It's not as big as you think

Rose: ...what!

*Codec goes off*