CHAPTER SEVEN -
DOMESTIC BLISS
It was a few months later before Django was back in the UK again. He and Drusilla had decided to tour the world together, going wherever their hearts or fortune desired. Barring the inevitable odd mishap or journey into terror, it had been a wonderful experience for Django. Just him and his dark princess together. Like it should be. Now they'd come to a little town in England. For a while at least. It had been a mutual wish, being that everything had been so happy of late, for them to put up shop and try some of this domestic lark. It would be an interesting learning curve for both of them. Something new, alien and challenging.
"Oh look!" Drusilla exclaimed while scanning the tv listings. "There's a Manchester United game on tonight!"
"It's okay." Django shook his head at his girl. "You can watch it if you want pet. I've still got some unpacking to do. Unless you really want us to do it together, that is." He didn't want to seem unreasonable by ignoring her interests after all.
"I thought it's what you would want to watch." Drusilla said confused. She was so used to having to put up with all the fuss with Spike, when a game was on live or sent to him on videotape. She'd assumed Django would be the same.
"Never been one for sports love." Django smiled at her and patted her head.
Oh yes, last in the egg in spoon race, Drusilla caught a flash from him. She kept that to herself. "But this is so confusing. What will we do with all the marshmallow I bought?"
Django shook his head again affectionately. It seemed there would be some things he'd never quite understand about his Dru.
****
And then the day came when the new computer they'd bought arrived. Drusilla was happy at first. Watching Django scratch his head at the instruction manual. And later when they watched The Sim lose his job and walk home so dejected. It was such fun for them to bet on whether he would commit suicide or go on a killing spree. Even more fun was to let silly Lara Croft think her players were going to lead her to safety....and then letting her plummet into the alligator pit.
Drusilla realised what a valuable learning tool it could be for Django to get in touch with his darker side, unlock the inner demon. But then it all went bad! Drusilla was chastising her dollies for shouting at the neighbours, when she caught a warning flash in her head. She dashed into the spare room, where sure enough Django was on the computer again.
"What are you doing love?" Drusilla approached slowly, with trepidation.
"I found a How Sane Are You test on LiveJournal." Django told her. "I just need to press submit and it'll gauge my answers."
"No!" Drusilla knelt beside Django and pleaded. "I'm begging you dearie. Let's move onto something else."
"What's wrong Dru?" Django turned to her, concerned.
Drusilla had worry on her face. "I just worry about you is all. I don't want you to get hurt with what comes up. Switch it off dearie. Do it for princess."
Django was stunned. She really did seem to be worrying about the result he was going to get. He wasn't quite sure how flattering that was as to Dru's impressions of him, but it did show how much she cared for him. Django clicked on the mouse to call up the Shut Down menu. "You're right pet. Maybe it really is better not to know."
Drusilla sighed in relief and let her head rest on her knees. Sometimes it could be stressful to care about her Django so deeply.
****
Drusilla nudged Django in the ribs, waking him. It was the middle of the night and the house was creaking. And Dru couldn't sleep for the ghastly wailing. "It's your turn to see what Miss Edith wants." she said.
Django turned over at his side of the bed. "Dru, pet, you can't really be serious."
"I can't sleep." Drusilla groaned yawning. "She's already woken me twice tonight."
Django groaned tiredly and forced himself up. To be honest it really gave him the creeps when Dru did this. The idea of her hearing crying in the night from the smaller bedroom. Brrr! He didn't like the house at night, in the dark, when it creaked like this and a window somewhere in the house had blown open.
Django made his way timidly to the small bedroom where Drusilla kept her dolls at night. There he found Miss Edith sitting creepily in the corner. Not really knowing what to do next, Django picked her up and patted her. "There. There, there, Miss Edith. Go back to sleep now."
A small cough from behind Django nearly made him jump out of his skin. Drusilla stood in the doorway in her nightgown, looking very dazed. "Turns out it wasn't Miss Edith at all." Drusilla relayed, as if from somewhere else. "It was someone else I haven't met. Crying somewhere in the house." Drusilla shrugged and went over to kiss Django and Miss Edith goodnight. "I think there's a window open downstairs again love. Be a dear and close it after you're done with Miss Edith." She turned to go back to bed, without waiting for a reply.
****
"Sentimental hogwash!" Drusilla muttered to herself as she sat in the living room with Django. He was watching the mini-series "Taken" and Drusilla was feeling bored. She had to admit that the Blair Witch girl was superbly devious though. If only there had been someone like that in the FBI could have teamed up with, Drusilla thought, wondering what had happened to her important case that Harmony snatched from her. Should have given her my sit-com too, Drusilla thought evilly.
Drusilla couldn't go another minute of some vomit-inducing brat and her dorky parents being all sugary. And after that it would be Smallville! The only episode Dru had ever liked was the one where Clark got all badass in his leather. Mmmmm, Django liked to wear leather. Would he get up and wear it for her now? Drusilla listened to the air around her. It sparkled and told her magnificent things. "Ooooh! I'd almost forgotten about that!" Dru whispered. Rising from the sofa, she turned to Django sweetly. "Care for some marshmallow love?"
Ultimately Django had to wait for re-runs before he found out how it all ended.
****
Django huffed and wheezed with his share of the load. Drusilla felt a little guilty. She had grown lazy the last few weeks about her food disposal. And now she and Django were carrying a rolled up carpet to the stolen van. It was light as a feather to Drusilla's vampire strength of course. But she had already carried a few and Django wanted to help. So gallant he was! They got to the van and put the carpet in with a few others.
"Rest a bit love." Drusilla stroked her lover's hair. "There's just another binbag or two to bring down. And then we can leave this house for good."
"And our belongings?" Django asked.
"Shhh!" Dru cooed mischievously and wrapped her arms around her brave knight. "I told you princess would see to it. I have some demon friends who'll help. They'll pack up all our belongings and bring them to our new house." She kissed Django and ran her hand seductively up his crotch. "All before the mean landlord knows we're gone." It was all so romantic, Drusilla reflected. They were going to go back to Scotland where Django was going to introduce her to some of his friends. "Let's get the job finished then pet."
On their way out from the house, this last time, they met a nosy old woman neighbour. Time to go into suburban young wife mode, Drusilla reminded herself. The silly old woman didn't notice them being up to anything of course. She chattered away to both of them, about all the recent disappearances around the neighbourhood of late. Including a child while out playing one night. Django raised his eyebrow at Dru but she shook her head idly. Quite convincingly, she thought. Her dear sweet prince could still be so funny about things like that. Anyway, they were leaving now. Noone would be able to connect mysterious sightings of the "bloofer lady" with her.
The old woman was still prattling on about how horrible it all was. But how the police were likely to catch who was behind it soon. "I dare say. I dare say." Django agreed absentmindedly, as he locked the front door. Making their excuses to get on, they carried the heavy binbags to the van. Locking the van door, they got into the driving compartment. Drusilla whispered something wicked in Django's ear and he let out a long hard laugh as they drove away.
Such a nice couple, the old woman watched them go off. And with that, like Mary Of The Fourth Form before them, they headed out into the night.
THE END? MMMWUUUUUHAHAHAHAHA!
DOMESTIC BLISS
It was a few months later before Django was back in the UK again. He and Drusilla had decided to tour the world together, going wherever their hearts or fortune desired. Barring the inevitable odd mishap or journey into terror, it had been a wonderful experience for Django. Just him and his dark princess together. Like it should be. Now they'd come to a little town in England. For a while at least. It had been a mutual wish, being that everything had been so happy of late, for them to put up shop and try some of this domestic lark. It would be an interesting learning curve for both of them. Something new, alien and challenging.
"Oh look!" Drusilla exclaimed while scanning the tv listings. "There's a Manchester United game on tonight!"
"It's okay." Django shook his head at his girl. "You can watch it if you want pet. I've still got some unpacking to do. Unless you really want us to do it together, that is." He didn't want to seem unreasonable by ignoring her interests after all.
"I thought it's what you would want to watch." Drusilla said confused. She was so used to having to put up with all the fuss with Spike, when a game was on live or sent to him on videotape. She'd assumed Django would be the same.
"Never been one for sports love." Django smiled at her and patted her head.
Oh yes, last in the egg in spoon race, Drusilla caught a flash from him. She kept that to herself. "But this is so confusing. What will we do with all the marshmallow I bought?"
Django shook his head again affectionately. It seemed there would be some things he'd never quite understand about his Dru.
****
And then the day came when the new computer they'd bought arrived. Drusilla was happy at first. Watching Django scratch his head at the instruction manual. And later when they watched The Sim lose his job and walk home so dejected. It was such fun for them to bet on whether he would commit suicide or go on a killing spree. Even more fun was to let silly Lara Croft think her players were going to lead her to safety....and then letting her plummet into the alligator pit.
Drusilla realised what a valuable learning tool it could be for Django to get in touch with his darker side, unlock the inner demon. But then it all went bad! Drusilla was chastising her dollies for shouting at the neighbours, when she caught a warning flash in her head. She dashed into the spare room, where sure enough Django was on the computer again.
"What are you doing love?" Drusilla approached slowly, with trepidation.
"I found a How Sane Are You test on LiveJournal." Django told her. "I just need to press submit and it'll gauge my answers."
"No!" Drusilla knelt beside Django and pleaded. "I'm begging you dearie. Let's move onto something else."
"What's wrong Dru?" Django turned to her, concerned.
Drusilla had worry on her face. "I just worry about you is all. I don't want you to get hurt with what comes up. Switch it off dearie. Do it for princess."
Django was stunned. She really did seem to be worrying about the result he was going to get. He wasn't quite sure how flattering that was as to Dru's impressions of him, but it did show how much she cared for him. Django clicked on the mouse to call up the Shut Down menu. "You're right pet. Maybe it really is better not to know."
Drusilla sighed in relief and let her head rest on her knees. Sometimes it could be stressful to care about her Django so deeply.
****
Drusilla nudged Django in the ribs, waking him. It was the middle of the night and the house was creaking. And Dru couldn't sleep for the ghastly wailing. "It's your turn to see what Miss Edith wants." she said.
Django turned over at his side of the bed. "Dru, pet, you can't really be serious."
"I can't sleep." Drusilla groaned yawning. "She's already woken me twice tonight."
Django groaned tiredly and forced himself up. To be honest it really gave him the creeps when Dru did this. The idea of her hearing crying in the night from the smaller bedroom. Brrr! He didn't like the house at night, in the dark, when it creaked like this and a window somewhere in the house had blown open.
Django made his way timidly to the small bedroom where Drusilla kept her dolls at night. There he found Miss Edith sitting creepily in the corner. Not really knowing what to do next, Django picked her up and patted her. "There. There, there, Miss Edith. Go back to sleep now."
A small cough from behind Django nearly made him jump out of his skin. Drusilla stood in the doorway in her nightgown, looking very dazed. "Turns out it wasn't Miss Edith at all." Drusilla relayed, as if from somewhere else. "It was someone else I haven't met. Crying somewhere in the house." Drusilla shrugged and went over to kiss Django and Miss Edith goodnight. "I think there's a window open downstairs again love. Be a dear and close it after you're done with Miss Edith." She turned to go back to bed, without waiting for a reply.
****
"Sentimental hogwash!" Drusilla muttered to herself as she sat in the living room with Django. He was watching the mini-series "Taken" and Drusilla was feeling bored. She had to admit that the Blair Witch girl was superbly devious though. If only there had been someone like that in the FBI could have teamed up with, Drusilla thought, wondering what had happened to her important case that Harmony snatched from her. Should have given her my sit-com too, Drusilla thought evilly.
Drusilla couldn't go another minute of some vomit-inducing brat and her dorky parents being all sugary. And after that it would be Smallville! The only episode Dru had ever liked was the one where Clark got all badass in his leather. Mmmmm, Django liked to wear leather. Would he get up and wear it for her now? Drusilla listened to the air around her. It sparkled and told her magnificent things. "Ooooh! I'd almost forgotten about that!" Dru whispered. Rising from the sofa, she turned to Django sweetly. "Care for some marshmallow love?"
Ultimately Django had to wait for re-runs before he found out how it all ended.
****
Django huffed and wheezed with his share of the load. Drusilla felt a little guilty. She had grown lazy the last few weeks about her food disposal. And now she and Django were carrying a rolled up carpet to the stolen van. It was light as a feather to Drusilla's vampire strength of course. But she had already carried a few and Django wanted to help. So gallant he was! They got to the van and put the carpet in with a few others.
"Rest a bit love." Drusilla stroked her lover's hair. "There's just another binbag or two to bring down. And then we can leave this house for good."
"And our belongings?" Django asked.
"Shhh!" Dru cooed mischievously and wrapped her arms around her brave knight. "I told you princess would see to it. I have some demon friends who'll help. They'll pack up all our belongings and bring them to our new house." She kissed Django and ran her hand seductively up his crotch. "All before the mean landlord knows we're gone." It was all so romantic, Drusilla reflected. They were going to go back to Scotland where Django was going to introduce her to some of his friends. "Let's get the job finished then pet."
On their way out from the house, this last time, they met a nosy old woman neighbour. Time to go into suburban young wife mode, Drusilla reminded herself. The silly old woman didn't notice them being up to anything of course. She chattered away to both of them, about all the recent disappearances around the neighbourhood of late. Including a child while out playing one night. Django raised his eyebrow at Dru but she shook her head idly. Quite convincingly, she thought. Her dear sweet prince could still be so funny about things like that. Anyway, they were leaving now. Noone would be able to connect mysterious sightings of the "bloofer lady" with her.
The old woman was still prattling on about how horrible it all was. But how the police were likely to catch who was behind it soon. "I dare say. I dare say." Django agreed absentmindedly, as he locked the front door. Making their excuses to get on, they carried the heavy binbags to the van. Locking the van door, they got into the driving compartment. Drusilla whispered something wicked in Django's ear and he let out a long hard laugh as they drove away.
Such a nice couple, the old woman watched them go off. And with that, like Mary Of The Fourth Form before them, they headed out into the night.
THE END? MMMWUUUUUHAHAHAHAHA!
