A/N: This is my first trigun fic. It's a one-shot on Vash, and what he thinks about when he's heading off to face Knives. There's angsty goodness, and mentions of Vash/Meryl. Enjoy!

Oh yeah! Things in both bold an italics are things he remembers people or himself saying. Things in just plain italics are things he's thinking now. Excluding, of course, the title and author. But you probably already knew that ^_^;;




Back In The Sun



by Sarah Peabody








It seems like it was such a long time ago, and miles back. Was it really just yesterday that I had stood on that cliff, sanding whipping up a storm farther out accross the desert? Somehow, I want it to be so long ago. Long enough that I could forget what I'd done; the thing I had taken.

Nobody has the right to take the life of another, because everybody deserves a future...

You were right, Rem. You were right, too, Meryl...

It comes to me again. I see myself in him. Begging for death, because he had commited so many wrongs. Because he couldn't stop. But I had always dreamed of peace. It was as elusive as the wind, and appeared less and less frequently. Turmoil seemed to trail behind me in the dust my footfalls left. And yet she kept following me. I told her not to, but she kept on following me. I killed a man, and she forgave me, took care of me. She said I slept for ten days straight. And she smiled at me, asked me to stay with her, and I will. As soon as I've done what it is Rem told me to do.

Vash, take care of Knives...

And I said I would. I will; I have to save my brother. From himself.

I stand on the edge of a cliff. Not the same one, but they all look similar on this planet. It is a long way down to the swirling sandstorm below. I turn back, and begin my slow descent down and around the cliff to the bottom. Slung against my back I carry a cross wrapped in cloth and leather straps. At least, that's what it looks like. The preacher once told me that it was heavy because it was so full of mercy. But now I know what is in there, and the only reason I carry it is because Millie said Woolfewood would've wanted me to.

It's been a pleasure, Vash The Stampede...

Hey, what kinda preacher man are you, anyway?!

I smile as I reach the swirling dust. It envelopes me completely, and I welcome the roaring silence for a moment. I once accepted this as my fate: the silence of the lonely walk. A nomad, unwanted by the people he tried to save. But I had caused destruction, too. I think about July, and Augusta. In July, it was Knives, and in Augusta, it was his servants. They started the process, but I let it finish. I grimace. My eyes sting from sweat, sand, and tears.

I emerge from the rushing winds minutes later. I wipe the tears away. I can't cry now. I need to take care of Knives. I walk on.

If you keep your vision clear, you will see the future...

Okay, Rem. Okay...

Forgive me...







A/N: Hokay, so was that good? I liked it. *kills the fly that won't stop landing on her* DIEEEE, spawn of SATAN!!!!!!!! Grrrrrr..... ^_^ Anyway! See that button in the bottom left corner? Yeah? Good! Press it and a magic box will appear and you can review! It's amazing, ne? ^_~ I appreciate reviews, yup I do!

Much *evil* love,
ChasingMaybe