I know going to the tree house seemed really soon especially after my
mothers death, seriously some ones mom dies and they wanna go out and have
fun? I think it shocked gordie when I asked to go but who wouldn't be? I
just couldn't stay; I mean im the type of person that when times get rough
I run I pretend it never happened. I try to forget but sometimes it's
really hard to let go. Everyone always says how strong I am and that maybe
I might be to strong for my own good and I should let my guards down once
and a while. I don't know why they think that of me, im scared of
everything, im just a big coward.
Once we came back from the tree house I couldn't let it go anymore it was eating me up inside, I excused myself from gordies presence and ran to my room. This was it, my moms funeral would be soon, god what would I do then? I was never really one to express my feelings well, I rarely ever cried and I don't know why I did that night in gordies room.
I used to keep a journal type thing with me to write out what I was feeling mostly my moms idea because she could never get through to me nor do I think she tried but that's just me. So that was my plan im was just going to write a letter to my mom, kind of like a closing an ending where everything is right.
Shit where do I start though I mean me and my mom were never really that close we were but at the same time we weren't and everything just fell completely apart when my dad left I don't even remember him and I don't care to but my mom just never overcame that after that she was out every night doing what is still unknown to me.
It doesn't bother me anymore I can start over, wipe the slates clean whatever phrase you want to use I just get a new begging.
I quickly got out a note book and a pen and started to write.
Dear mom, I know this seems stupid but I didn't know what else to do, I know it was hard raising me especially after dad left but your not the only one that was effected by it its not like he just walked out and left you and not me as well. It's over now though and I know I should be sad about your passing but im not really because just maybe it's your turn to watch over me. I hope your happy wherever you are and don't worry about me every things fine its not so bad living here after all. So I guess this is it and until we meet again. Love, Ashley
Just as I finished there was a knock at my door.
"Come in" I said
My aunt poked her head in, her eyes puffy and red from crying.
"How's your head?" she asked
"Fine" I replied
"Gordon told me you went to meet his friends today" she said
"Yea, they're pretty neat" I said
"I never really got to know them; do you think there a good influence on Gordon? Your uncle never thought so" she kind of laughed silently at that
"Overall I think they couldn't be better" I told her
"What's that in your hand, dear" she asked
"It's a letter to my mom; I know it seems ridiculous."
"No I think it's wonderful, some thing I should have done when Dennis past away." she said almost in a daze
"Well anyway sweetheart I just wanted you to know that im here if you ever need to talk" she said kissing my cheek and walking over to the door
"Ok, thank you" I said as she walked out.
I read over the letter once more, sure it wasn't the best thing in the world but it would have to do. I felt a lot better about it after, just the funeral to go and a final good bye and then im faced with a new begging which didn't seem so bad now.
A/N: hey guys just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone that's been reading you guys are great and my story wouldn't have made it with out you and I also wanted to apologize for taking so long to get chapters up lol and one final word is that I was watching TV the other day and it was called I Love The 80s and they talked about Stand By Me which I thought was very kool because no one said anything bad about it and it was just very kool that it got recognized for being the kick ass movie it is haha anyway I've wasted enough of your time, so thank you guys luv ya!!!
Once we came back from the tree house I couldn't let it go anymore it was eating me up inside, I excused myself from gordies presence and ran to my room. This was it, my moms funeral would be soon, god what would I do then? I was never really one to express my feelings well, I rarely ever cried and I don't know why I did that night in gordies room.
I used to keep a journal type thing with me to write out what I was feeling mostly my moms idea because she could never get through to me nor do I think she tried but that's just me. So that was my plan im was just going to write a letter to my mom, kind of like a closing an ending where everything is right.
Shit where do I start though I mean me and my mom were never really that close we were but at the same time we weren't and everything just fell completely apart when my dad left I don't even remember him and I don't care to but my mom just never overcame that after that she was out every night doing what is still unknown to me.
It doesn't bother me anymore I can start over, wipe the slates clean whatever phrase you want to use I just get a new begging.
I quickly got out a note book and a pen and started to write.
Dear mom, I know this seems stupid but I didn't know what else to do, I know it was hard raising me especially after dad left but your not the only one that was effected by it its not like he just walked out and left you and not me as well. It's over now though and I know I should be sad about your passing but im not really because just maybe it's your turn to watch over me. I hope your happy wherever you are and don't worry about me every things fine its not so bad living here after all. So I guess this is it and until we meet again. Love, Ashley
Just as I finished there was a knock at my door.
"Come in" I said
My aunt poked her head in, her eyes puffy and red from crying.
"How's your head?" she asked
"Fine" I replied
"Gordon told me you went to meet his friends today" she said
"Yea, they're pretty neat" I said
"I never really got to know them; do you think there a good influence on Gordon? Your uncle never thought so" she kind of laughed silently at that
"Overall I think they couldn't be better" I told her
"What's that in your hand, dear" she asked
"It's a letter to my mom; I know it seems ridiculous."
"No I think it's wonderful, some thing I should have done when Dennis past away." she said almost in a daze
"Well anyway sweetheart I just wanted you to know that im here if you ever need to talk" she said kissing my cheek and walking over to the door
"Ok, thank you" I said as she walked out.
I read over the letter once more, sure it wasn't the best thing in the world but it would have to do. I felt a lot better about it after, just the funeral to go and a final good bye and then im faced with a new begging which didn't seem so bad now.
A/N: hey guys just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone that's been reading you guys are great and my story wouldn't have made it with out you and I also wanted to apologize for taking so long to get chapters up lol and one final word is that I was watching TV the other day and it was called I Love The 80s and they talked about Stand By Me which I thought was very kool because no one said anything bad about it and it was just very kool that it got recognized for being the kick ass movie it is haha anyway I've wasted enough of your time, so thank you guys luv ya!!!
