Numb
Disclaimer: I've already said it, I don't intend on mentioning it every chapter.
A/n: Wow, the first chapter wasn't even up a day and I got # reviews! Thanks everyone! I've just been obsessed with reading Kai/Rei fics lately, but I didn't mean anything insulting when I said I'd fallen into the trap of Beyblade fics, it was just odd for me. I've never written a yaoi fic, it's usually Digimon fics non-yaoi. Well anyways thanks again for the reviews and here's the next chapter! Kai, Rei and Linkin Park rule!!!!
P.s. oh someone asked about that thing where Kai was abused, that was a flashback from when he was in the abbey, heh shoulda mentioned that earlier, sorry!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I returned to the yard just in time to see Tyson and Max going all out in their beyblade battle. Their hard work and effort in training seemed to be paying off, and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. A few minutes later, when the two finished their battle, Tyson bragging loudly of how wonderful his skills were getting, Max and Tyson came to ask if they could go have a break. Feeling a little bit happy, but of course not showing it, I allowed them to have their hour long break. I didn't exactly feel like listening to Tyson's complaining or bragging and I thought they had deserved a break with all the work they'd been putting into their beyblading. The world tournament was coming up soon, so while I was a little glad the team was doing better, I didn't want them to slack off any.
Finally alone in peace, I began to contemplate my earlier actions. What was wrong with me? So what if everyone pissed me off except for Rei? That didn't mean I had to be extra nice to him, I was still the team captain and I had the power to influence them all. I wanted them to be tough, I wanted them to win, I wanted to win. I still desired power, but I wasn't about to be manipulated by Boris and Black Dranzer..again. It was a horrible ordeal I'd rather forget, but the way it seemed to have affected Rei compared to all the others made me wonder if my concern was more than that. When I faced the Blade Breakers with Black Dranzer, I knew everyone was shocked, disgusted or angry that I betreyed them. But Rei, Rei was all of those things but something else as well. What I saw in those golden orbs of his that day, among the tears that he'd tried desperately to hide, was loss and abandonment. When I looked into his eyes I understood immediately and I felt like comforting him. I knew that Rei had done the same thing though, when he abandoned his team, the White Tigers, but for more acceptable reasons than I had.
** ** ** [Caught in the undertow Just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is Another mistake to you ** ** **
I wasn't sure what I was feeling anymore, and I didn't want to think about it. I just wished I didn't have to feel! If feelings weren't real I could concentrate on what was really important, which was training and becoming the best. I would have put some more thought into this, but Rei chose this time to come and find me.
I could hear his quiet footsteps approaching me cautiously, and could tell instantly from where he was coming from. My eyes still closed I waited for him to say something, if he thought I couldn't hear him, despite his cunningly quiet movements, then he had another thing coming. The waiting was beginning to get on my nerves, was he just standing there? I dismissed the idea when I couldn't feel his gaze, I figured he must've been looking at the small pond near the large oak tree. I opened my eyes to see that he was, and he was tip toeing around the place so as not to disturb me. A smile tugged at my lips again that day, he was so naive sometimes. The raven-haired neko-jin kneeled infront of the pond in an attempt to catch the small frog hopping around gaily, but only succeeding in landing on his face. He let out a soft laugh, a melidious sound that seemed to chase my inner demons away and beg for a smile. I let a small smile creep onto my face but it fell as Rei caught my gaze.
I felt my cheeks heating up again -jeez! What's wrong with me??- but moved my face into shadows so he wouldn't spot my weakness. Soon it faded and I continued to watch Rei.
Finally he stood up, he sometimes liked to act childish but he really was smart and reasonable. He turned to look at me and matched my hard gaze with those slit cat-eyes of his.
"Hey Kai," he said quietly.
I nodded.
Deciding to take that as an invitation to sit down, he did and leaned against the oak tree behind us. Sighing, he continued to watch the horizon, the sun was already so high in the sky, but he seemed expectant of Her retreat. He seemed to enjoy the twilight as much as I did. So peaceful and calm and thoughts are left to scatter amongst themselves. My thoughts turned to my painful memories, just because I'm me. I deserve it. I, who caused others so much sadness, fear and loss, deserve any punishment I receive. And that includes the painful beatings I'd received at the abbey all those years ago. Just before I slipped into full-fledged memory lane, Rei saved me.
"So.excited about the tournament?"
"Not really. I just want to get back at Voltaire and his little gang of minions," I responded, hate filling me. I clenched my fists, but took a deep breath and resumed my brooding.
Rei nodded understanding.
"Tell me, why did you leave your old team?" I questioned Rei, just trying to make casual conversation, even though I was really bad at it.
Rei contemplated my question for a minute and responded. His eyes were glazed over, "I could never have become the blader I am today had I stayed with them. They were restricted to the village, and I needed to travel the world to reach my full potential," he paused and glancing a little angrily at me. "I never thought them lower than me, in fact, I thought I was the weakest, most pathetic one of the whole team. Lee liked to taunt me with that fact, I needed to get away from all the insults."
** ** ** I've Become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired So much more aware I'm becoming this All I want to do Is be more like me And be less like you ** ** **
Shocked I looked at him in the eye, I never knew his old team thought of him like that! I looked down at myself, and felt horrible, painful regret coursing through me. I swallowed and proceeded to speak.
"I do not think you are weak or pathetic. I think you are.one of the strongest bladers I have ever seen. Lee is wrong to say that about you. You have my respect," I said finally, and I stood up to leave him with those thoughts.
His features seemed to have brightened considerably. Though I could see the shock, the infamous Kai would never compliment a fellow beyblader, but I had my reasons. Perhaps I hadn't really meant it, perhaps it was those odd feelings that I felt whenever I was close to the Chinese beyblader. Looking at him one last time before I left the yard, I nodded to myself. I had meant those words, I felt the hard core of their truth brush my mind and heart. He continued to stare at me with that shocked look, along with acceptance, admiration and even liking? I couldn't be sure. But I felt things were settled between us, perhaps he'd be the only person I'd ever confide in, because I knew he wouldn't say anything about this to the others. I gave him a nod and walked back to the rental house to bring those lazy bums of teammates out for more practice.
I wasn't worried about Rei, because he, similar to myself, liked to train alone, except of course for the occasional beybattle with the others. Rei was also a natural hard worker, he trained all the time. I sometimes found him in the hills and mountains, wherever we happened to be staying (which was currently at a rented house that Mr. Dickenson arranged for us to stay at for our training and the tournament). He also seemed to have an impeccible appreciation for nature and peacefulness.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/n: Well there's that chapter people, hope ya liked it! I actually put thought into it! Lol, jk, I just tend to write, hardly ever thinking about what I'm actually writing, heh. The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it written, so hold your horses! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews, they've all been great motivation. I hope to get some more reviews in the future! Ja!
Keisan
Disclaimer: I've already said it, I don't intend on mentioning it every chapter.
A/n: Wow, the first chapter wasn't even up a day and I got # reviews! Thanks everyone! I've just been obsessed with reading Kai/Rei fics lately, but I didn't mean anything insulting when I said I'd fallen into the trap of Beyblade fics, it was just odd for me. I've never written a yaoi fic, it's usually Digimon fics non-yaoi. Well anyways thanks again for the reviews and here's the next chapter! Kai, Rei and Linkin Park rule!!!!
P.s. oh someone asked about that thing where Kai was abused, that was a flashback from when he was in the abbey, heh shoulda mentioned that earlier, sorry!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I returned to the yard just in time to see Tyson and Max going all out in their beyblade battle. Their hard work and effort in training seemed to be paying off, and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. A few minutes later, when the two finished their battle, Tyson bragging loudly of how wonderful his skills were getting, Max and Tyson came to ask if they could go have a break. Feeling a little bit happy, but of course not showing it, I allowed them to have their hour long break. I didn't exactly feel like listening to Tyson's complaining or bragging and I thought they had deserved a break with all the work they'd been putting into their beyblading. The world tournament was coming up soon, so while I was a little glad the team was doing better, I didn't want them to slack off any.
Finally alone in peace, I began to contemplate my earlier actions. What was wrong with me? So what if everyone pissed me off except for Rei? That didn't mean I had to be extra nice to him, I was still the team captain and I had the power to influence them all. I wanted them to be tough, I wanted them to win, I wanted to win. I still desired power, but I wasn't about to be manipulated by Boris and Black Dranzer..again. It was a horrible ordeal I'd rather forget, but the way it seemed to have affected Rei compared to all the others made me wonder if my concern was more than that. When I faced the Blade Breakers with Black Dranzer, I knew everyone was shocked, disgusted or angry that I betreyed them. But Rei, Rei was all of those things but something else as well. What I saw in those golden orbs of his that day, among the tears that he'd tried desperately to hide, was loss and abandonment. When I looked into his eyes I understood immediately and I felt like comforting him. I knew that Rei had done the same thing though, when he abandoned his team, the White Tigers, but for more acceptable reasons than I had.
** ** ** [Caught in the undertow Just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is Another mistake to you ** ** **
I wasn't sure what I was feeling anymore, and I didn't want to think about it. I just wished I didn't have to feel! If feelings weren't real I could concentrate on what was really important, which was training and becoming the best. I would have put some more thought into this, but Rei chose this time to come and find me.
I could hear his quiet footsteps approaching me cautiously, and could tell instantly from where he was coming from. My eyes still closed I waited for him to say something, if he thought I couldn't hear him, despite his cunningly quiet movements, then he had another thing coming. The waiting was beginning to get on my nerves, was he just standing there? I dismissed the idea when I couldn't feel his gaze, I figured he must've been looking at the small pond near the large oak tree. I opened my eyes to see that he was, and he was tip toeing around the place so as not to disturb me. A smile tugged at my lips again that day, he was so naive sometimes. The raven-haired neko-jin kneeled infront of the pond in an attempt to catch the small frog hopping around gaily, but only succeeding in landing on his face. He let out a soft laugh, a melidious sound that seemed to chase my inner demons away and beg for a smile. I let a small smile creep onto my face but it fell as Rei caught my gaze.
I felt my cheeks heating up again -jeez! What's wrong with me??- but moved my face into shadows so he wouldn't spot my weakness. Soon it faded and I continued to watch Rei.
Finally he stood up, he sometimes liked to act childish but he really was smart and reasonable. He turned to look at me and matched my hard gaze with those slit cat-eyes of his.
"Hey Kai," he said quietly.
I nodded.
Deciding to take that as an invitation to sit down, he did and leaned against the oak tree behind us. Sighing, he continued to watch the horizon, the sun was already so high in the sky, but he seemed expectant of Her retreat. He seemed to enjoy the twilight as much as I did. So peaceful and calm and thoughts are left to scatter amongst themselves. My thoughts turned to my painful memories, just because I'm me. I deserve it. I, who caused others so much sadness, fear and loss, deserve any punishment I receive. And that includes the painful beatings I'd received at the abbey all those years ago. Just before I slipped into full-fledged memory lane, Rei saved me.
"So.excited about the tournament?"
"Not really. I just want to get back at Voltaire and his little gang of minions," I responded, hate filling me. I clenched my fists, but took a deep breath and resumed my brooding.
Rei nodded understanding.
"Tell me, why did you leave your old team?" I questioned Rei, just trying to make casual conversation, even though I was really bad at it.
Rei contemplated my question for a minute and responded. His eyes were glazed over, "I could never have become the blader I am today had I stayed with them. They were restricted to the village, and I needed to travel the world to reach my full potential," he paused and glancing a little angrily at me. "I never thought them lower than me, in fact, I thought I was the weakest, most pathetic one of the whole team. Lee liked to taunt me with that fact, I needed to get away from all the insults."
** ** ** I've Become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired So much more aware I'm becoming this All I want to do Is be more like me And be less like you ** ** **
Shocked I looked at him in the eye, I never knew his old team thought of him like that! I looked down at myself, and felt horrible, painful regret coursing through me. I swallowed and proceeded to speak.
"I do not think you are weak or pathetic. I think you are.one of the strongest bladers I have ever seen. Lee is wrong to say that about you. You have my respect," I said finally, and I stood up to leave him with those thoughts.
His features seemed to have brightened considerably. Though I could see the shock, the infamous Kai would never compliment a fellow beyblader, but I had my reasons. Perhaps I hadn't really meant it, perhaps it was those odd feelings that I felt whenever I was close to the Chinese beyblader. Looking at him one last time before I left the yard, I nodded to myself. I had meant those words, I felt the hard core of their truth brush my mind and heart. He continued to stare at me with that shocked look, along with acceptance, admiration and even liking? I couldn't be sure. But I felt things were settled between us, perhaps he'd be the only person I'd ever confide in, because I knew he wouldn't say anything about this to the others. I gave him a nod and walked back to the rental house to bring those lazy bums of teammates out for more practice.
I wasn't worried about Rei, because he, similar to myself, liked to train alone, except of course for the occasional beybattle with the others. Rei was also a natural hard worker, he trained all the time. I sometimes found him in the hills and mountains, wherever we happened to be staying (which was currently at a rented house that Mr. Dickenson arranged for us to stay at for our training and the tournament). He also seemed to have an impeccible appreciation for nature and peacefulness.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/n: Well there's that chapter people, hope ya liked it! I actually put thought into it! Lol, jk, I just tend to write, hardly ever thinking about what I'm actually writing, heh. The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it written, so hold your horses! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews, they've all been great motivation. I hope to get some more reviews in the future! Ja!
Keisan
