Numb
A/n: Sorry for the long wait guys, yes I am very slow and unfortunatly busy- I never should've bothered with that whole set designing thing for school, at least I got my volunteer hours in though. Anyways, I'll post this update, and I'll try to get another one up soon as I can but I can't promise anything as school's end is fast approaching and I've projects, exams and a triathlon June 7th woo hoo! lol... As for my wonderful reviewers who seem to make time to read my updates in their days, I thank you guys so much! I don't know what I did to deserve all that kind praise, lol. Well I won't keep you waiting any longer, here's chapter 4!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The day seemed to drag on, training went on as usual for most of the day, and Tyson's pushing demands came along with it. The training was something I didn't mind, but I could've done without Tyson's idiotic, sarcastic remarks. We had our daily arguments, and everything went along as it always does; Tyson would be an idiot, I'd beat him up, Max would comfort him, I'd take off, I'd go search for the neko-jinn.... Actually the last part is starting to become more normal, it never used to be part of my day but now it seems ongoing.
It seems whenever it's just Rei and me, everything seems right, really calming and I think I'm opening up to him more than anyone in my entire life. I don't want these weak feelings I have to distract me from my ultimate goal, but he's such an addiction! I don't really understand it all, everything feels good and right when we're talking or just sitting and enjoying each other's company, but this is something I've never felt before. Then again, I've never really had any real friends before, it was forbidden at the Abbey. Boris, my grandfather and the scientists taught us how to deal with life without having to resort to any kind of emotional attachments. We were designed to be the perfect bladers, warriors. Well not really 'we' but more directly 'me', because I am the heir.
During my time observing the others' training, my mind wandered to the day before when I'd brushed Rei's gorgeous raven locks. It was so comforting to just be doing something like that for Rei, he seemed to enjoy the attention, and his reactions were what kept me going. It made me feel good that I was honouring Rei for him just being him. And it struck me with curiousity whenever my fingers would brush his neck, that he shivered, and he suddenly had goosebumps all over. I didn't think I was that cold, maybe he was shivering about something else. Touching his neck and silky hair kept replaying over and over in my memories and I felt butterflies flitting about in my stomach. He was very soft, just like a kitten. That name could suit him very well, I thought. The thought brought a smile to my face.
To get my mind off my confused feelings about Rei, I got up and trained for the rest of the day, I hardly took a break. The last thing I wanted to be thinking about the Chinese boy when I had a tournament coming up so soon. Blading took my mind off everything except my goal and power, and what I was striving to achieve. Blading took my mind away from the mundane matters of my team and everything around me, it was freedom for me, well almost. It was too restrictive to be considered freedom, it was more like a job, like something that kept me going but wasn't blissful or an ideal life.
While pondering my thoughts in silence beneath the shade of the cherry blossom tree in the park, I noticed a flash of black silk strands. My eyes barely open, as I prefer them to be while in my deep meditations, I kept my head down so I could peer out from beneath my secretive bangs to see what was disturbing my training.
It seemed the little neko-jinn, Rei, was once again creeping around quietly, so as not to disturb me, and I noticed he was leaning dangerously close to the side of the fast flowing river near the rocks. A cold feeling made me shudder just slightly, suddenly I felt like something was seriously wrong. Keeping a close eye on Rei, he reached out over the rocks in attempt to catch an escaping butterfly (A/n; couldn't you so picture that? Awww, I could!) As he steadied his knees up on the rock, which glistened, the butterfly flew a little further out of reach, and suddenly Rei was gone! My eyes flew open as I frantically shot up to grab Rei from the rough rapids.
Rei's head came up from underneith the consuming waves and he struggled to keep afloat, though it was obvious he couldn't swim very well. Rei looked up as he took in a great gulp of water and saw me; his eyes widened and he tried to reach for me. Without a second thought, I dove into the rapids. The shock of the cold hit me full force, obviously the sun didn't do much to warm this water. I pushed up from the bottom of the river's bottom and kicked hard until I broke the surface of the water. Getting my bearings straight, I spotted Rei flowing fast down the river, then I remembered something. There was a waterfall only a couple kilometers downstream! With that thought of horror, I dove back under the water, and swam as fast as I could, training that I'd done for years was paying off.
Avoiding rocks as much as I could, but getting a little bashed up anyways, I trailed after Rei like a bird after its prey. Rei was still struggling against the rough current and he looked visibly tired out, which seemed to call me faster.
** ** **
But I know
I may end up failing you too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
** ** **
"REI!" I called as loud as I could.
"Rei! I'm coming! Rei!" I yelled out to him.
Rei looked desperate and yelled out to me, stretching his arm towards me. Not looking what was ahead of him, he was thrown by the current against one of the large rocks poking dangerously out of the waves. It knocked him out. However, a piece of tree bark that'd been sticking out from underneith the rock caught on to his shirt. It gave me precious time to swim harder towards him, I slammed my arm up against the side of the rock to grab hold, and yanked Rei from the grasp the tree branch had on him.
I held him to me and pushed off from the rock, silently thanking luck I hadn't lost the neko-jinn. Breathing heavily, I finally managed to drag both myself and Rei over to the side rocks of the river. I pushed Rei up onto the damp rocks and heaved myself up a moment after.
I breathed in hard, trying to suck as much air in as I could, then I remembered Rei had been knocked out. I crawled over to where Rei landed and shook him. He didn't move and I was getting frantic. Rei hadn't been under the water that long, but he must've taken some in when he was knocked out.
"REI!" I shouted.
"REI! Wake up! Wake up! REI!" I kept yelling to try and wake him up.
I put my hand slightly above his mouth and didn't feel any air coming out. Remembering my first aid training at the abbey, I began pushing down on his chest. I'd stop at fifteen seconds and put my ear over his mouth.
"Rei! Come on! Come on Rei, don't give up on me now!" I yelled as I went through the resusitation.
Suddenly he began choking violently and leaned to the side to spit out some water. He was breathing hard and rested on his elbows. He looked up at me with gratitude at first and then looked down again as though he were ashamed and sorry.
"I'm sorry Kai, I can't believe I was so careless, I should've have done that. Thank you for saving me though," he said.
I resumed my cool-confident stare and crossed my arms. I nodded once grunting in acknowledgement. I had to keep up my front, he may have thought me weak if I did not. However, I did note the pained expression he quickly hid. Standing up, I no longer saw any reason to be sitting there, obviously the neko-jinn was all right.
He got up with a groan of pain and I turned to see what was hurting him so. Crimson blood dripped down his cheek. Shocked I put my hand to his face and brushed his thick, raven bangs out of the way. His head must have been injured when he hit the rock. He blushed a little and shook me off.
"Oh...I'll be fine, just a little scrape."
I looked at him oddly and though his pride was admirable, a head injury was nothing to shake off. I turned around and offered to carry him on my back.
"Get on. A head injury isn't just nothing, we have to get you back to the house," I told him.
He'd torn a piece of his arm bandage off and sopped up the blood. Unfortunatly that wasn't near enough to clean the wound and I prodded him to get on my back. He seemed reluctant.
"No really, it's fine, I'll be fine...just..just fine..I just have to get going and-"
He was cut off as he began to topple over. The blood loss was accumulating, that's what I could guess that caused him to faint like that. Just before he hit the ground, I grabbed him and heaved him up on my back. Jogging at a quick pace, I headed back with Rei to the house.
*~ *~ *~
An hour had already passed and Rei was no closer to waking up than he was an hour ago. It was beginning to hang around in my thoughts and made me feel...worry? Yes, I suppose I was worried. It affected my actions as I'd been sitting beside Rei the whole time after I'd bandaged him up properly. He was lying in his bed breathing soft and evening, ocassionally letting out a small purr. It was actually very cute..wait a moment, cute? I wondered vaguely where that had come from and assumed it was the lack of fresh air in the room.
I stood and walked over to the window. The sun had long gone down and I could hear murmurs of the others downstairs. They'd been really worried when I brought Rei back, but I told them Rei just fell and he would be okay. With a chuckle to myself, I penilized them for not continuing with their much needed training and once again beat Tyson up.
I lifted the window open and let the fresh cool air in. The moonlight shone through the coloured window panes and gave the room a smoky blue tinge. It was comforting, tranquil and allowed me to calm my nerves.
I decided to sit and meditate, maybe occupying my time with something wouldn't make the waiting seem so long. I sat on my side of the bed, facing away from Rei and towards the window. I slid my eyes shut as I relaxed into the common position I was used to meditating in.
My mind opened up to a peaceful path, but to my dismay, evaporated into the cold, stone tunnels of the abbey. Boris appeared and my mind reminisced the insults he'd abused me with all those years ago, not only the mental but the physcial. Something touched the long thin scar smeared across my back, and thinking I was being whipped again, I fell.
"Kai? Kai! What's wrong? I didn't mean to do anything, are you okay? What's wrong?" Rei's gentle voice called out to me.
Falling out of the dream-like state, I opened my eyes and realized I was sprawled across the bed, my hand lying on top of Rei's chest. Blushing, I sat myself upright and hid my face in the shadows.
"Kai? What happened?" Rei questioned confused.
"Nothing," I replied, "Just a dream." "Kai..are you sure? If anything it seemed like a nightmare."
He must've peeked around and saw my face contorted in pain. Shit.
"IT'S NOTHING! Now drop it."
I knew my answer was harsh sounding, but I had to be like that. I could not allow myself to develop any attachments, not even friendship.
I turned to look at his saddened features and felt regret.
"So how are you feeling?" I asked, trying to appologize in my own way for snapping at him.
He seemed to understand that.
"Oh, well my head hurts a little, not as much as before, so I guess I can say I feel much better. And thank you..for staying with me I mean. And bandaging me up. I know you didn't have to."
"Yes I do. I am your team captain. I must look out for the well-being of my team members," I answered as though I were some kind of andriod.
Rei sighed and nodded. He then did something I did not expect in the least. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around my waist in a hug.
Reddening I did not know how to react. Instinctively, I put my arms around him, returning the hug. After a moment I did not feel so comfortable about all this. What exactly was I doing? This is Rei, curious, kind-hearted, determined and prideful Rei. The kitten of the team. The level-headed one who separated Tyson and myself when we fought. Rei held everything together. The golden-eyed neko-jinn, at the moment, struck me as very attractive, both in looks and qualities. He was in a word....wonderful.
Rei had pulled away and lay back down on his side of the bed. He pulled up the covers and closed his eyes. I did not know what to think, say or do. I just sat there reminiscing his warmth. He seemed to have noticed my paralysis as he cracked one golden eye open, and grinned. The blush faded from my cheeks but I gave him a small smile back anyway. I pulled the covers back from my side of the bed and hopped in.
First, I faced away from Rei, but he prodded across my back, obviously trying to get my attention. Sighing, I turned towards him to see him grinning. He moved a little closer to me, gestering that he was cold, it silently pleased me that he turned to me for warmth. I decided to be daring and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped a little but settled into the embrace and returned it.
Finally he drifted off, I was sure that I nodded off not too long after him. He was just so pleasant to look at, him in his white pajamas and hair loose. Maybe feelings aren't so weak afterall, I mean this felt right, and I was actually content for once. Maybe I could give this a chance to develop into something more...maybe....just maybe the golden-eyed neko-jinn has broken down my icy shields. I played with his silky smooth bangs and settled into a deep, satisfying sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/n; Ah ha! There we go! Yes I know it wasn't that long, I wanted to end it on a sweet note though, the chapter I mean of course. There's still another chapter to come..I've gotta figure out how I'm gonna continue with the song. Anyways, a little bit of drama and some Kai/Rei fluff, I suppose I should now be begging you all for reviews, even though I hardly deserve 'em, making you all wait so long. I'm sorry! I've been really really busy, and my inspiration container needs to be filled up again, that's why it's taken me so long. Well I hope you guys still wanna review this, they definitely help and I really appreciate 'em! Thanks all! Next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up, k? No worries! I never leave a fic incomplete. Keisan
A/n: Sorry for the long wait guys, yes I am very slow and unfortunatly busy- I never should've bothered with that whole set designing thing for school, at least I got my volunteer hours in though. Anyways, I'll post this update, and I'll try to get another one up soon as I can but I can't promise anything as school's end is fast approaching and I've projects, exams and a triathlon June 7th woo hoo! lol... As for my wonderful reviewers who seem to make time to read my updates in their days, I thank you guys so much! I don't know what I did to deserve all that kind praise, lol. Well I won't keep you waiting any longer, here's chapter 4!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The day seemed to drag on, training went on as usual for most of the day, and Tyson's pushing demands came along with it. The training was something I didn't mind, but I could've done without Tyson's idiotic, sarcastic remarks. We had our daily arguments, and everything went along as it always does; Tyson would be an idiot, I'd beat him up, Max would comfort him, I'd take off, I'd go search for the neko-jinn.... Actually the last part is starting to become more normal, it never used to be part of my day but now it seems ongoing.
It seems whenever it's just Rei and me, everything seems right, really calming and I think I'm opening up to him more than anyone in my entire life. I don't want these weak feelings I have to distract me from my ultimate goal, but he's such an addiction! I don't really understand it all, everything feels good and right when we're talking or just sitting and enjoying each other's company, but this is something I've never felt before. Then again, I've never really had any real friends before, it was forbidden at the Abbey. Boris, my grandfather and the scientists taught us how to deal with life without having to resort to any kind of emotional attachments. We were designed to be the perfect bladers, warriors. Well not really 'we' but more directly 'me', because I am the heir.
During my time observing the others' training, my mind wandered to the day before when I'd brushed Rei's gorgeous raven locks. It was so comforting to just be doing something like that for Rei, he seemed to enjoy the attention, and his reactions were what kept me going. It made me feel good that I was honouring Rei for him just being him. And it struck me with curiousity whenever my fingers would brush his neck, that he shivered, and he suddenly had goosebumps all over. I didn't think I was that cold, maybe he was shivering about something else. Touching his neck and silky hair kept replaying over and over in my memories and I felt butterflies flitting about in my stomach. He was very soft, just like a kitten. That name could suit him very well, I thought. The thought brought a smile to my face.
To get my mind off my confused feelings about Rei, I got up and trained for the rest of the day, I hardly took a break. The last thing I wanted to be thinking about the Chinese boy when I had a tournament coming up so soon. Blading took my mind off everything except my goal and power, and what I was striving to achieve. Blading took my mind away from the mundane matters of my team and everything around me, it was freedom for me, well almost. It was too restrictive to be considered freedom, it was more like a job, like something that kept me going but wasn't blissful or an ideal life.
While pondering my thoughts in silence beneath the shade of the cherry blossom tree in the park, I noticed a flash of black silk strands. My eyes barely open, as I prefer them to be while in my deep meditations, I kept my head down so I could peer out from beneath my secretive bangs to see what was disturbing my training.
It seemed the little neko-jinn, Rei, was once again creeping around quietly, so as not to disturb me, and I noticed he was leaning dangerously close to the side of the fast flowing river near the rocks. A cold feeling made me shudder just slightly, suddenly I felt like something was seriously wrong. Keeping a close eye on Rei, he reached out over the rocks in attempt to catch an escaping butterfly (A/n; couldn't you so picture that? Awww, I could!) As he steadied his knees up on the rock, which glistened, the butterfly flew a little further out of reach, and suddenly Rei was gone! My eyes flew open as I frantically shot up to grab Rei from the rough rapids.
Rei's head came up from underneith the consuming waves and he struggled to keep afloat, though it was obvious he couldn't swim very well. Rei looked up as he took in a great gulp of water and saw me; his eyes widened and he tried to reach for me. Without a second thought, I dove into the rapids. The shock of the cold hit me full force, obviously the sun didn't do much to warm this water. I pushed up from the bottom of the river's bottom and kicked hard until I broke the surface of the water. Getting my bearings straight, I spotted Rei flowing fast down the river, then I remembered something. There was a waterfall only a couple kilometers downstream! With that thought of horror, I dove back under the water, and swam as fast as I could, training that I'd done for years was paying off.
Avoiding rocks as much as I could, but getting a little bashed up anyways, I trailed after Rei like a bird after its prey. Rei was still struggling against the rough current and he looked visibly tired out, which seemed to call me faster.
** ** **
But I know
I may end up failing you too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
** ** **
"REI!" I called as loud as I could.
"Rei! I'm coming! Rei!" I yelled out to him.
Rei looked desperate and yelled out to me, stretching his arm towards me. Not looking what was ahead of him, he was thrown by the current against one of the large rocks poking dangerously out of the waves. It knocked him out. However, a piece of tree bark that'd been sticking out from underneith the rock caught on to his shirt. It gave me precious time to swim harder towards him, I slammed my arm up against the side of the rock to grab hold, and yanked Rei from the grasp the tree branch had on him.
I held him to me and pushed off from the rock, silently thanking luck I hadn't lost the neko-jinn. Breathing heavily, I finally managed to drag both myself and Rei over to the side rocks of the river. I pushed Rei up onto the damp rocks and heaved myself up a moment after.
I breathed in hard, trying to suck as much air in as I could, then I remembered Rei had been knocked out. I crawled over to where Rei landed and shook him. He didn't move and I was getting frantic. Rei hadn't been under the water that long, but he must've taken some in when he was knocked out.
"REI!" I shouted.
"REI! Wake up! Wake up! REI!" I kept yelling to try and wake him up.
I put my hand slightly above his mouth and didn't feel any air coming out. Remembering my first aid training at the abbey, I began pushing down on his chest. I'd stop at fifteen seconds and put my ear over his mouth.
"Rei! Come on! Come on Rei, don't give up on me now!" I yelled as I went through the resusitation.
Suddenly he began choking violently and leaned to the side to spit out some water. He was breathing hard and rested on his elbows. He looked up at me with gratitude at first and then looked down again as though he were ashamed and sorry.
"I'm sorry Kai, I can't believe I was so careless, I should've have done that. Thank you for saving me though," he said.
I resumed my cool-confident stare and crossed my arms. I nodded once grunting in acknowledgement. I had to keep up my front, he may have thought me weak if I did not. However, I did note the pained expression he quickly hid. Standing up, I no longer saw any reason to be sitting there, obviously the neko-jinn was all right.
He got up with a groan of pain and I turned to see what was hurting him so. Crimson blood dripped down his cheek. Shocked I put my hand to his face and brushed his thick, raven bangs out of the way. His head must have been injured when he hit the rock. He blushed a little and shook me off.
"Oh...I'll be fine, just a little scrape."
I looked at him oddly and though his pride was admirable, a head injury was nothing to shake off. I turned around and offered to carry him on my back.
"Get on. A head injury isn't just nothing, we have to get you back to the house," I told him.
He'd torn a piece of his arm bandage off and sopped up the blood. Unfortunatly that wasn't near enough to clean the wound and I prodded him to get on my back. He seemed reluctant.
"No really, it's fine, I'll be fine...just..just fine..I just have to get going and-"
He was cut off as he began to topple over. The blood loss was accumulating, that's what I could guess that caused him to faint like that. Just before he hit the ground, I grabbed him and heaved him up on my back. Jogging at a quick pace, I headed back with Rei to the house.
*~ *~ *~
An hour had already passed and Rei was no closer to waking up than he was an hour ago. It was beginning to hang around in my thoughts and made me feel...worry? Yes, I suppose I was worried. It affected my actions as I'd been sitting beside Rei the whole time after I'd bandaged him up properly. He was lying in his bed breathing soft and evening, ocassionally letting out a small purr. It was actually very cute..wait a moment, cute? I wondered vaguely where that had come from and assumed it was the lack of fresh air in the room.
I stood and walked over to the window. The sun had long gone down and I could hear murmurs of the others downstairs. They'd been really worried when I brought Rei back, but I told them Rei just fell and he would be okay. With a chuckle to myself, I penilized them for not continuing with their much needed training and once again beat Tyson up.
I lifted the window open and let the fresh cool air in. The moonlight shone through the coloured window panes and gave the room a smoky blue tinge. It was comforting, tranquil and allowed me to calm my nerves.
I decided to sit and meditate, maybe occupying my time with something wouldn't make the waiting seem so long. I sat on my side of the bed, facing away from Rei and towards the window. I slid my eyes shut as I relaxed into the common position I was used to meditating in.
My mind opened up to a peaceful path, but to my dismay, evaporated into the cold, stone tunnels of the abbey. Boris appeared and my mind reminisced the insults he'd abused me with all those years ago, not only the mental but the physcial. Something touched the long thin scar smeared across my back, and thinking I was being whipped again, I fell.
"Kai? Kai! What's wrong? I didn't mean to do anything, are you okay? What's wrong?" Rei's gentle voice called out to me.
Falling out of the dream-like state, I opened my eyes and realized I was sprawled across the bed, my hand lying on top of Rei's chest. Blushing, I sat myself upright and hid my face in the shadows.
"Kai? What happened?" Rei questioned confused.
"Nothing," I replied, "Just a dream." "Kai..are you sure? If anything it seemed like a nightmare."
He must've peeked around and saw my face contorted in pain. Shit.
"IT'S NOTHING! Now drop it."
I knew my answer was harsh sounding, but I had to be like that. I could not allow myself to develop any attachments, not even friendship.
I turned to look at his saddened features and felt regret.
"So how are you feeling?" I asked, trying to appologize in my own way for snapping at him.
He seemed to understand that.
"Oh, well my head hurts a little, not as much as before, so I guess I can say I feel much better. And thank you..for staying with me I mean. And bandaging me up. I know you didn't have to."
"Yes I do. I am your team captain. I must look out for the well-being of my team members," I answered as though I were some kind of andriod.
Rei sighed and nodded. He then did something I did not expect in the least. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around my waist in a hug.
Reddening I did not know how to react. Instinctively, I put my arms around him, returning the hug. After a moment I did not feel so comfortable about all this. What exactly was I doing? This is Rei, curious, kind-hearted, determined and prideful Rei. The kitten of the team. The level-headed one who separated Tyson and myself when we fought. Rei held everything together. The golden-eyed neko-jinn, at the moment, struck me as very attractive, both in looks and qualities. He was in a word....wonderful.
Rei had pulled away and lay back down on his side of the bed. He pulled up the covers and closed his eyes. I did not know what to think, say or do. I just sat there reminiscing his warmth. He seemed to have noticed my paralysis as he cracked one golden eye open, and grinned. The blush faded from my cheeks but I gave him a small smile back anyway. I pulled the covers back from my side of the bed and hopped in.
First, I faced away from Rei, but he prodded across my back, obviously trying to get my attention. Sighing, I turned towards him to see him grinning. He moved a little closer to me, gestering that he was cold, it silently pleased me that he turned to me for warmth. I decided to be daring and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped a little but settled into the embrace and returned it.
Finally he drifted off, I was sure that I nodded off not too long after him. He was just so pleasant to look at, him in his white pajamas and hair loose. Maybe feelings aren't so weak afterall, I mean this felt right, and I was actually content for once. Maybe I could give this a chance to develop into something more...maybe....just maybe the golden-eyed neko-jinn has broken down my icy shields. I played with his silky smooth bangs and settled into a deep, satisfying sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/n; Ah ha! There we go! Yes I know it wasn't that long, I wanted to end it on a sweet note though, the chapter I mean of course. There's still another chapter to come..I've gotta figure out how I'm gonna continue with the song. Anyways, a little bit of drama and some Kai/Rei fluff, I suppose I should now be begging you all for reviews, even though I hardly deserve 'em, making you all wait so long. I'm sorry! I've been really really busy, and my inspiration container needs to be filled up again, that's why it's taken me so long. Well I hope you guys still wanna review this, they definitely help and I really appreciate 'em! Thanks all! Next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up, k? No worries! I never leave a fic incomplete. Keisan
