Consequences

Pt 6

O'Neill woke early in the morning grateful to have no more headache. In fact he felt great, Khalil must have fixed whatever was wrong. From the silence within his head he knew the symbiote was still asleep. He was moderately surprised to find himself at home in his own bed. Khalil could of course move the body and do things while he was asleep but he wondered how he managed to drive or more than that, how he dealt with the Cheyenne Mountain checkpoints and Friday evening traffic.

When he went downstairs to the kitchen he noticed the evidence of several take out food items in the trash and it crossed his mind to check the VCR. Star Wars. So that was it, Teal'c probably drove the truck and Daniel followed behind. They brought him home and then spent a little time getting to know Khalil. He didn't really mind, though it was odd to wonder if they talked about him while he was 'out'.

It was Saturday morning and he decided to go for a run. This was the end of his sixth week as a host, not counting the weeks he was unconscious, and life was surprisingly normal. The only consideration that had not been addressed to everyone's satisfaction was whether O'Neill could continue to live off base. He understood the risks well enough, hell, what if he were in a simple car accident and taken to the local hospital for a CT scan? O'Neill was still searching for an answer that he could live with. For now he'd been granted a four-day pass with the stipulation he stay in Colorado Springs, no fishing trips to his cabin just yet.

As O'Neill ran along the early morning deserted side streets he let his mind wander. This new 'thing' he'd become wasn't so bad after all. Most of the time Khalil was enjoyable to be around, especially after he began to appreciate the intricacies of sarcasm and juggling. O'Neill still couldn't get used to seeing his hands tossing wads of paper in the air and catching them without having control over what he was doing.

A lot of daily activities were like that. At first he kept the more 'fun' things to himself only delegating tasks related to work or chores to Khalil. As time went on he felt a need to share more of the things he really enjoyed.

For one thing he was now a fair partner for Teal'c in the sparring ring. He even knocked the Jaffa down once or twice and rarely ever found himself looking up from the mat. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing all activity in the gym cease when he and Teal'c went at it; their matches were becoming the stuff of legends.

He was soon allowing Khalil to choose what he wanted to do during their downtime. Surprisingly Khalil did like sports, at least anything that could be viewed as a contest of strength or a skill of some kind. Track and auto racing were out but Hockey, Baseball and especially Basketball were on his list of favorites. He did not see any point to 'The Simpson's' but Pavarotti reminded him of an uncle he once had and he enjoyed the stirring music of opera.

Eventually Khalil was awakened by the rhythmic jarring motion of O'Neill's running.

He spoke groggily, "What the hell are you doing?"

O'Neill grinned. "God morning to you too. I'm running."

"From what?"

"Not *from* anything. Because it's healthy, keeps me in shape."

"You do not need to exercise you understand."

"It still feels good to do it, endorphins you know."

"I can do that too."

O'Neill mentally shook his head, "Still not much of a morning person are you? What do you say I call the kids later and get them to come over? You feel like a barbecue this afternoon?"

There was a long pause. "You can't do that."

"Why not?"

Another pause, almost as long followed. "Because you already did."

Now O'Neill paused. "You mean that thing last night with Daniel and Teal'c? It's okay, that was you, this is me."

"It was you, trust me."

"No it wasn't."

"It was."

"Was not."

Khalil sighed heavily. "As far as they were concerned, it was."

O'Neill stopped running and spoke aloud. "You impersonated me? Why would you do that?"

"There was something I wanted to do."

"And you had to do it as me?"

"Yes."

"So what did you do?" O'Neill was becoming irritated; he began to run again. "You might as well fess up; if it involves Daniel I *will* find out about it."

There was another long pause before Khalil responded. "That is true." He winced. "I talked to Carter about Tony."

O'Neill's feet stopped moving. "Carter was there too?"

"She was."

Irate was not a strong enough word. "What the hell did you say to her?"

Khalil replied slowly. "I only told her she doesn't have much in common with him and that she could do better."

"And she thought it was me saying this to her?"

"Well, I think she suspected otherwise but, yes, she did."

The running resumed at an increased pace. O'Neill didn't speak another word all the way home. When he got to the house he slammed the door behind him and stalked into the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. He snapped off the cap and threw it forcefully across the room.

"All right, what else did you do?"

"Not much."

O'Neill squinted his eyes and asked, "So if I talk to any member of my team they will confirm this, right?"

He could feel Khalil cringe inside him. "Not exactly."

"So what then, exactly?"

Khalil took a breath. "Tony was here too; he and Daniel got along very well."

"And?" O'Neill's mood was getting darker; he knew there was something big behind that cringe.

After a considerable pause O'Neill said, "Still waiting."

"I kissed her."

"You *what*?" He slammed the bottle of water hard on the counter making it splash, then began to pace.

"It's okay, we were on your roof, alone, and she kissed back."

O'Neill closed his eyes trying to take in this information then suddenly erupted. "You *made out* with Carter on my *roof*? With *Tony* downstairs? *And* she thought it was *me*?" His voice rose in pitch with each exclamation.

"Are you *trying* to ruin my life?" O'Neill had passed 'livid' a while ago and moved on to 'outraged.'

Khalil tried to calm him but O'Neill was on a roll. "What was it you were so concerned about just a few weeks ago? Trust and honor? Have those words changed their meaning since I last looked? Anybody got a dictionary? I'll check it right now!"

"Enough!" Khalil forcibly took control of his host for the first time in over two hundred years. He was shocked when O'Neill held his ground.

O'Neill could feel the hatred Khalil held for what he was doing and knew it would make him weak, not enough to lose the battle but enough that it would not be over quickly. As they struggled for dominance his body swayed and came crashing down to the floor taking a lamp and several framed photos with it.

Khalil suddenly relented and allowed O'Neill to sit himself up and survey the damage to the room. "Well that was monumentally stupid!"

Khalil did not answer. If the human wanted to have another fit, he'd let him.

Suddenly O'Neill was rubbing his hands over his face and chuckling. Khalil relaxed just a tiny bit and approached him cautiously. "What has amused you?" He asked quietly, trying to be as non-confrontational as possible.

"You, me, all of this." He waved a hand in the air at nothing in particular.

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. It's not really funny. It's ironic. I'm angry with you for doing exactly what I'd *like* to do, but it was me doing it all along. You realize you still did wrong by hijacking my body and I'm not thrilled you deceived my team. I'm kinda disappointed they let you get away with it. I thought they knew me better than that."

"Do not discount them so easily. I put a great deal of effort into observing and mimicking your behavior."

O'Neill's mood grew dark again. "You won't do that again."

Khalil was silent at first then spoke. "What I will not do is lie," he paused, "to you."

"Leaving the door open are you?"

"Perhaps."

"Okay then." Khalil was surprised at the lightness of his tone. "As long as we know where we stand. One thing though, we really need to talk to Carter, both of us."

Monday morning O'Neill came sauntering into the SGC whistling, actually whistling he was in such a good mood. He'd spent almost the entire weekend trading barbs with Khalil. The symbiote was really getting the hang of sarcasm. After they made their peace with each other the rest of the weekend went by smoothly. They'd decided to let the 'Carter confrontation' go until they were back at work; since it was not something that would resolve itself quickly anyway. It gave them both a chance to figure out what they wanted to say to her.

The briefing went by quickly and Hammond gave them a 'go' for a standard meet and greet at 1400 hours.

The inhabitants of P5C 827 were quite willing to become friends, almost too much so. The only real barrier was their language. Of course Daniel was able to piece it together as a mixture of Greek island dialects and could converse on a rudimentary level. Eventually they were confident enough of their ability to communicate on a sign language basis that the team split up.

O'Neill and Teal'c joined a group of young men who, seeing the Staff Weapon and P-90's were excited to exhibit some of their own weaponry. There was a makeshift target range on the outskirts of town and they all took turns showing off their prowess.

Carter went with a young man and woman who according to Daniel would show her their hospital and what some of their medicines could do, while Daniel himself spent the time with the eldest of the men examining their ancient texts. The written word seemed to be much easier to understand than what was spoken.

While pouring over the manuscripts Daniel came upon their code of law. Most of it was fairly interesting and he was surprised to see they'd done away with the death penalty, which he considered to be an advanced concept.

He found only two exceptions to the rule, murder and demonic possession.

It seemed an odd thing for them to give such weight to a spiritual matter so he questioned it. He remembered seeing the same word in a medical book but the context was completely different.

The old man understood his confusion and explained, there was no difference; both texts were speaking of the same thing.

Daniel read the text again, and suddenly realized what it was saying. He quickly made his way to the outer doorway and thumbed his microphone. "Jack?"

O'Neill and Teal'c were currently examining non-projectile weapons. They looked like they were made of an ordinary metal but they were so lightweight it startled Teal'c to pick one up. He was sure wielding such a weapon would require great skill as one could not use the weight of the weapon itself to assure damage was done.

When the radio crackled O'Neill moved away from the group and answered. "Daniel? What is it?"

"Jack, we need to go."

O'Neill glanced down at the radio not believing the words that came out of it. "This is Doctor Daniel Jackson, is it not?"

Daniel's tone was urgent. "I found something. Listen to me, these people have an advanced view of justice here, for the most part. They've done away with the death penalty with two major exceptions, one being demonic possession."

"And this is important- why?"

"The word they use is the same word that means 'parasitic infection'. Their code of justice requires a person with this condition to be executed by decapitation. And they *don't* require a trial."

O'Neill's hand involuntarily rose to his neck as Daniel continued. "Possession by a parasite. Does this even remotely describe anyone we know?"

"Shit."

"Jack, if they have a way of detecting this 'condition'- you've got to get out of here, now. Sam should go too, just in case it's the Naquadah they use as an indicator."

"And Teal'c, what about the Tretonin?"

Daniel frowned. "I have no idea, it could be I'm the only one who's safe."

O'Neill lowered his voice and replied. "You're close to the hospital. Get Carter, meet us on the road to the Stargate."

"They'll want an explanation."

"Make up something! Promise to come back soon and bring more friends. I don't care. Don't let Carter out of your sight for a minute. Go."

He raised his head and sent a big grin toward Teal'c then waved him over. "T, come here! I got somethin' to tell you."

Then men were disappointed at the sudden loss of their audience and insisted that they be escorted back to the city hall. It took some doing to convince them that their destination was the other direction, to the west side of town and the Stargate.

As they approached O'Neill could see a bit of a confrontation was going on. Daniel was fervently explaining something while Carter was standing by looking upset and pale.

O'Neill tried to act unconcerned. "Hey, kids. What's up?"

Daniel shot him a look then briefly spoke to an old man before turning back. "I'm sorry, Jack. There just wasn't any way to know. It was at the hospital."

"What?"

Carter spoke up, frowning. "They had a device. They told me it could diagnose infections. Part of it turned out to be the crystal from a Goa'uld hand device. They were just going to show me how it worked. This contraption was strapped to my arm and they applied a little electric current. It glowed."

Daniel cut in. "We've been standing here trying to convince them she's not sick, it's just a side effect from having the infection a along time ago. They're insisting there is no permanent cure. They want to execute her!"

"Tell them we're leaving right now. We'll take care of it on our side. We have our own laws to obey back home."

"That's what I've *been* saying! They insist she not be allowed to carry the disease to another place."

"Daniel! Explain it to them again. Explain it to them until they get it! There will be no executions today!"

"They aren't listening anymore, and it gets worse. They want to test all of us."

"Not on this side of hell they're not." He looked at Carter and rubbed a hand over his face. "Get them to hold off. Tell them we're not refusing anything. We're even grateful for their help, but we must deal with this in our own way. Carter, you think Teal'c can pass their test?"

"Maybe. How soon are you due for a dose of Tretonin?"

"I will require none for some time."

O'Neill looked around at the men who were waiting to take them. "The floor is open kids. Anyone?"

Carter offered a solution. "I think Teal'c will be able to pass if he can avoid being tested until his Tretonin levels drop. As far as you and I, I don't think they can tell the difference between a live symbiote and a dead one, maybe Janet can put together enough evidence to convince them we only have a marker left over from a past infection."

"Daniel, that means someone will have to get back to the SGC and tell Hammond what's going on. You're the only one who can leave."

He protested. "And what if they decide to execute all of you while I'm gone? You can't even communicate with them!"

"We are running out of choices here." O'Neill countered in a mockingly light tone.

A moment later their discussion was moot.

He didn't mean to do it, didn't see it coming in the slightest way; it was completely a reflex. All because a behemoth of a man laid his hand on Carter.

The people had become restless waiting for something to be done so one of the officials ordered her taken into custody by force. From the moment the man's hand gripped Carter's arm the world went into slow motion for O'Neill.

He was on the man in a blink of an eye, one hand on his collar and the other squeezing his wrist with such force the bones gave way and snapped like toothpicks. He lifted the man, who was nearly twice his weight, off the ground and threw him like a rag doll against a wall. Then he stood using his body as a shield between the onlookers and Carter, glaring at them.

He may have gotten away with it as a burst of adrenalin and good conditioning but for one thing. His eyes glowed.

He knew he'd done it, just a momentary switch of control to boost his strength but he forgot how easily a stressful situation could bring out the other qualities. He spun around grabbing Carter's arm as he went and spat out a curse. "Teal'c, Daniel! Move! Now!" He shoved Carter in the general direction of the Stargate. Their only hope was to escape in the confusion by outrunning them to the gate. Thank God their weapons hadn't yet been taken.

The Stargate was less than a mile away, well within sight when a group of the youngest, strongest and unfortunately most well armed men caught up with them. Teal'c was ahead by a good twenty yards and spun as O'Neill yelled his name. At once he stood fast and raised his staff weapon to fire volley after volley of flames over the heads of their pursuers.

O'Neill and the others ran on past the big Jaffa and after finding suitable cover used their weapons to allow him to join them. They'd had enough experience over the years of making runs to the gate like this and everything fell into place as if it were rehearsed.

Fifteen feet short of the DHD the scenario failed.

Daniel was right beside O'Neill and saw him lurch forward suddenly and go down. He gasped at the sight of an arrow sticking straight out of the base of his head. A perfect shot if someone were trying to kill a symbiote.

"Jack! Oh, my God! Sam!"

She spun around at the sound of her name and almost missed the crumpled form on the ground. Without a thought she began to run toward him. "Teal'c! Cover us!"

She dropped to her knees beside O'Neill and quickly felt for a pulse. It was there and strong and he was still breathing. She couldn't ask for much more under these circumstances. Her instinct was to grasp the offending piece of metal and yank it free but she had no idea if it would cause more damage to do so. She scrubbed her hand through her hair and looked at Daniel. "Help me get him up."

"Up? What *up*? He's not going anywhere."

She held back from yelling right in his face. "Oh, yes he is, dragged every inch if we have to! Come on!" She grabbed one arm and started to pull. Daniel shook his head but took hold of the other side and started to move along with her. Between the two of them they got him as far as the DHD.

Carter stopped and began to lower O'Neill back to the ground. "Daniel! Dial now!" She quickly entered their 911 code into her GDO and set it to continuous repeat then raised her P-90 and began to sweep the area. Daniel finally pressed the center crystal and the wormhole whooshed to life temporarily bringing the assaulting force to a standstill as they watched the spectacle.

Immediately Carter lowered her weapon and swung an arm up under O'Neill's willing her strength to be enough. Daniel was soon there beside her and had the other shoulder as before. Together they dragged the unconscious man up the six stone steps and through the Stargate. As the tip of O'Neill's boot went through Teal'c took one step back and raised the end of his staff weapon immersing himself in the event horizon.

On the other side Teal'c turned slowly as the iris began to close. A medical team was already filing into the room. Carter and Daniel took only a few steps forward then gently lay their CO on the ramp and backed away. He looked so odd there on the ground; his jacket was hoisted up around his head and neck from the way they'd been pulling on his arms and only the top of his head was visible. The arrow a grotesque reminder he was not merely unconscious or asleep.

Frasier only took a second to make sure he was still alive and ordered him lifted on a gurney and moved to the infirmary immediately. Knowing the position of the symbiote, she didn't know how the arrow could possibly have missed him.

In the few minutes it took for the surgical team to prep Frasier had her nurses jumping through hoops, or nearly so. It was a challenge to get O'Neill stripped and hook up all the various lines and tubes they'd need for surgery and not turn him over or move his head. The little Doctor herself took charge of that from the moment they left the Gate room. Now she stood at the head of the bed barking orders all the while cradling O'Neill's head between her arms. As soon as the clothing covering his upper body had been cut free she braced her hands against his shoulders and sandwiched his head between her forearms. A rolled up towel was placed under his forehead so he could breathe through his nose and mouth.

She realized they were not going to be able to get an endotracheal tube in like this and growled at the lack of options. He would have to be turned over if only for a few minutes. She barked more orders "Central line kit, Trach tray! Somebody get a pair of cutters and trim off about two feet of this damn thing before it puts out somebody's eye!"

Once the arrow was cut to a manageable two-centimeter nub she switched places with a first-year corpsman and prayed he wouldn't pass out at being put to work in this way. She stuck a finger right between his eyes and told him if he let that head loose for one second she'd know it.

It took a whole flock of white uniforms to roll him without twisting and once they had him firmly on his back she nodded to the corpsman 'well done'. His job wasn't through yet though, he was now the stand-in brace for as long as needed.

Frasier turned her attention elsewhere. She couldn't take the chance on tilting his head to place the ET tube so she quickly swabbed below his larynx and sliced through the hard cartilage with a scalpel. She had to lean her weight into it but only for a moment then she felt the tissue give way indicating she was into the trachea. The respiratory technician was ready with a tracheostomy tube and she slipped it in. One of the nurses attached an Ambu bag and squeezed twice, hard, while the Respiratory tech slapped a stethoscope on O'Neill's chest and listened intently. He spoke aloud amid the chaos, "Tube position good!" then quickly set to taping it in place.

Frasier had already moved on but somewhere deep inside her mind another item was checked off her list of 'must do now'. A CT would take too long right now so she ordered a simple skull and neck x-ray series, then set to getting in a large bore IV line.

The nurses were done placing a urinary catheter and Frasier moved to stand beside O'Neill's still exposed groin. The Central line kit was placed on the bed between his feet for ease of access and Frasier literally began to grab items off the tray before the nurse had it set up. Once prepped, Frasier deftly inserted the line into the femoral vein. They both worked methodically, the nurse running the procedure over in her mind trying to stay just one step ahead of the doctor in the process. As Frasier sutured it in place, the nurse flushed out the four ports to be used for fluids and medications and promptly began to plug in the drips already set up by her teammates. Their hands were nearly on top of each other but knowing well their own tasks they didn't interfere with one another.

By the time Frasier had relieved herself of her fourth pair of bloody gloves the x-ray was ready for a 'wet' reading. It was as she expected. While the arrow did go through O'Neill's skull and some of his brain tissue, it lodged itself almost completely in Khalil. Doctor Warner appeared from the OR suite and stood behind her to view the films. She could tell by his breathing he was unhappy. Not only had he never operated on a symbiote with the goal of saving it's life, this one was nearly severed in half.

"Could use a neurosurgeon." He commented quietly.

"Joe Franks is on the way but you'll have to start alone."

He outlined his plan of attack as much for himself as to gain Frasier's opinion on his choices. "Intracranial pressure monitor first, left side, vertebrae look okay, remove bone chips here and here." He indicated three white objects near the shaft of the arrow. He chewed his lower lip and looked in closer. "Symbiote has two crushed vertebrae. Don't think repair is an option. I could take a piece of cartilage from here and use it as a splint. Then we'll deal with the arrow."

Frasier nodded.

"Could use a pair of small hands until Joe gets here."

"Thought you'd never ask."

They hadn't looked at each other until this very moment and saw their own fears and concerns echoed in each others eyes. "Let's go."

After Doctor Franks was scrubbed in Frasier took her leave. She'd done everything she could, it was up to the two men to complete the task. She walked slowly out of the suite and wasn't surprised to find a host of SGC personnel lining the hallway.

Carter and Daniel were sitting side by side on the floor with their backs against the wall, Daniel's arm was around the Major's shoulders gripping her tightly and Teal'c was standing with hands clasped behind his back at attention. Frasier wondered how long it had been since he last moved.

General Hammond himself was seated in a chair staring at his hands. When the door opened he looked up expectantly. All of them did. Frasier could only shrug, it was far too soon to know anything. "It will be some time yet."

The General stood stiffly and gestured toward the chair. He didn't wait for a response but began to walk slowly down the hall avoiding all eyes as he went. His shoulders slumped as he walked and to anyone who didn't know him he seemed to be nothing more than a tired old man.

Seven hours later two exhausted surgeons emerged from the OR suite. O'Neill was stable, but that was about all they could say.

He was moved to the ICU and Frasier met SG-1 at the door. "I doubt I could stop you so you may come in for a few minutes." She was glad to see Hammond had returned as she did not relish having to explain the situation twice.

She led the way to the only occupied cubicle. There were so many machines in place it looked like there were ten patients instead of just one.

Frasier swallowed and began her explanation of what had occurred and what they were now seeing. "Colonel O'Neill was impaled by a large-bladed arrow just above the first vertebrae. His skull was fractured in the process but tissue damage was less than expected for such a large wound. The most significant issues to address will be the loss of cerebral spinal fluid and infection. There is a fair amount of swelling as well, which could result in additional injury to the tissues."

"The brunt of the initial damage was taken by Khalil. The symbiote suffered two crushed vertebrae and at the point of impact was nearly severed in half. Doctor Franks and Doctor Warner were able to create a sort of 'splint' to support the symbiotes spine for now but we don't know if this injury is something from which even a symbiote can recover. Due to the nature of the injury a large amount of the symbiotes blood was intermingled with the Colonel's spinal fluid. While we know that symbiote blood mixed with human blood is fatal to the host, we have no idea what the effect will be in the central nervous system. There is a blood-brain barrier that protects the brain from foreign substances and bacteria; but we don't know if it will protect the Colonel from Khalil's blood."

"As you can see we have stabilized the head and neck area with a brace and since it could have caused more damage at the time, instead of a regular endotracheal tube, a tracheotomy was performed. He is breathing through the tube in his neck. For now, and the next several days, he will remain comatose; do not expect anything else. He is receiving drugs to paralyze his body so he can heal. You will also note a small tube extending out from the left side of his head. That is a pressure monitor. We expect the pressure to be high due to swelling but if it is too high the Colonel will die. We are giving him medications to keep the swelling to a minimum but we need to monitor it for at least a day or so."

"The first 24 hours will be critical. For now all we can do is maintain total life support, for Colonel O'Neill anyway. We can only hope it will benefit Khalil as well."

"I know you are all worried, but please keep your visits short for tonight. The nurses will be quite busy, please stay out of their way."

Speech over, Frasier stepped back from the bed as if dragged away by a heavy weight. In a way it was; she'd need to sit down and document in even greater detail all that she had just related.

Carter, Daniel, Teal'c and Hammond stood still as statues taking in the massive amount of information Frasier had just laid out for them to absorb. For all the Colonel had been through a single piece of shaped metal could mean his death.

One by one they filed out as they each came to understand what a long haul this was sure to be. Those 'weeks' before could have only been a short prelude. Finally Carter was left standing alone at the foot of the bed. Frasier stepped out of her office and saw her standing there, her head almost on her chest, eyes closed.

"Sam. You should get some rest."

Her head snapped up and she sniffed harshly then wiped quickly at her cheeks.

Frasier watched her friend for a minute and decided there would be no rest no matter where Sam was, so she might as well stay for a few more minutes. She walked to the corner of the room and picked up a lightweight plastic chair.

"Here. Sit. Thirty minutes, then promise me you'll get some rest. Take these." She pressed a small packet of sleeping pills into the Major's palm.

Carter nodded reluctantly. After Frasier was gone she moved the chair over close to the bed and settled herself into it. There was so much to think about, how could she even consider sleep?

First of all there was what she'd done over the weekend. It all started with that rooftop kiss. When she and Tony left that night he wasn't done discussing politics, he kept the subject going until he finally dropped her off and said goodnight. She *never* was so bored in her entire life! Instead of crashing once she got home she stayed up most of the night thinking, re-evaluating again. It seemed O'Neill was right, she liked Tony as a person, really enjoyed being around him, but it never felt like anything more than a friendship. What she had with him just wasn't enough.

The first thing she did Saturday morning was call Tony. He knew by her tone something was wrong and agreed to meet her for lunch at a little diner near the Air Base.

Typical place for a 'Dear John' brunch she thought. The small diner she'd chosen was the perfect place to talk. It was just busy enough their waitress was kept busy elsewhere and just empty enough that they didn't have to keep their voices low for fear of someone overhearing their private conversation.

He wasn't thrilled. In fact he was downright irked. How could she just decide one day it was over? As of last night everything was fine. Or so he'd thought. What had he done?

She assured him it wasn't what he'd done it was *who* she was. They had just too little in common. Her work was everything, defined her as a person, too much a part of her life to not share. She tried to make him understand it was her failing not his.

Her explanation didn't suit him and he pushed her to find out what it was she really did for a living, knowing full well she'd never tell him. He was convinced that little 'team night' thing was what did it.

She decided the conversation was over and stood to leave. "As I've told you before, satellites and deep space radar telemetry."

"And you're quitting us for that?"

She grimaced when he put it that way. "It's very demanding and time-consuming work; I don't expect you to wait for me or anything."

He shook his head and pleaded with her. "Samantha, you only get one life, you should live it."

"I know. That's what I intend to do." On an impulse she took his hand and squeezed it. "You mean a lot to me, I even like your mom." She smiled at the flush in his cheeks. "But there are things I have to do right now. Who knows what the future holds for either of us. Just be happy and be happy for me, if our paths cross again-" She cocked her head and shrugged.

She fully intended to notify her CO she'd be spending a bit more time on the base and offer her services for any projects he might have in mind. She never got the chance.

Frasier came back through the infirmary two hours later and shook her head when she saw Sam was still there. Sleep, apparently, was not a problem anymore. Carter was slumped against the side of the bed; her right arm was resting in her lap and her left was crooked up on the bed cradling her head.

Unbeknownst to anyone that night there was another restless soul. Khalil woke shortly after the surgery and was surprised to find he had no control over most of his body and none at all over the host. It was only a slight consolation to find a chemical circulating in O'Neill's blood that was effectively paralyzing him.

He quickly assessed the damage. There was so much in such a small space! The pressure alone was enough to kill them both. He noted the tiny tube extending into the cranium and surmised it was a monitor of some kind. He couldn't understand if they were monitoring, why they weren't doing something, unless they were not aware that a normal human could tolerate a much higher level than a blended human. He cursed knowing he had no way to tell them.

Twice O'Neill's heart began to falter and Khalil had to quickly release a barrage of chemicals to stabilize him. He knew he was slowly losing his ability to hold on to life at all. After the next episode he decided he had to do something; they were both mere minutes away from death.

He knew there was no time to make repairs methodically, he'd have to choose what little he could and could not do. He either had to concentrate on himself and jump hosts immediately or put his efforts into O'Neill. The choice was simple, after all he'd cheated death more times than he could count, one of them being a direct result of this uncommon human's intervention.

He concentrated on pulling nerve fibers together and reducing the swelling. He literally forced the pressure monitoring device out leaving behind an opening through which excess fluid could flow freely and reduce the internal pressure. The very fluid that he needed to survive would cause irreparable brain damage to O'Neill if it were allowed to stay.

Once the pressure had begun to drop, Khalil turned his attention to O'Neill's injuries. First, a large section of O'Neill's brain tissue had simply been slashed as the arrow imbedded itself in him. Then there was the additional damage done by the surgeons who removed the arrow. He knew it couldn't have been helped but it did make matters worse. Khalil repaired the tissue knitting together the neurons strand by strand until the pathways were complete. This part of the brain controlled many of the basic functions of life such as breathing and other autonomic tasks and Khalil knew it was essential they be repaired. He completed his work and then released a barrage of hormones to accelerate healing throughout the area.

Exhausted but finally satisfied he'd done enough for O'Neill to mend on his own Khalil opened his mind to his host one last time. He knew O'Neill was still unresponsive but he wanted to impress as many memories as possible into his mind while he still could. It was not a necessary task but the memories would be more accessible if he were able to imprint them. As he recalled hundreds of years of memories Khalil slipped into a deep dreamy sleep. He relaxed and though his own bodily functions slowed and stopped, the dreams continued for a short while as though seen through a heavy fog then they too, ceased. He never woke again.

Doctor Frasier walked briskly into the infirmary that morning intent on one thing only, the condition of Colonel O'Neill. Not that she expected much to have changed in the few hours she'd permitted herself to sleep. She was pleased to see one thing; Carter was gone.

Likely it was only because she had to pee, but hopefully she'd decided to get at least a little sleep while she was out.

The night nurse's report was not as pleasing. The monitors were all over the place much of the night and three times the Colonel had lapsed into a near-fatal heart rhythm, each time pulling himself out of it just as the nurses started a full code response. The last time was the worst. His heart stopped completely for over a minute. To the doctor's dismay, sometime during the night the ICP had come out, the nurses were most apologetic and assured her it was not because they'd handled him too roughly. Frasier just shook her head in response; she would have liked to keep it for at least one more day.

Despite the horrid night somehow that morning he seemed better. When she checked the incision she was surprised at how much healing had occurred. Apparently Khalil wasn't as injured as she first thought.

Days later O'Neill was still stable and improving though very slowly. Frasier ordered the sedation to be deceased slightly and ordered a CT just to check up on her second patient. She was shocked at the results; she'd seen films like this before, right after Jolinar died of massive trauma. She closed her eyes and massaged her aching temples with her fingertips. Dead. There was not doubt this time, no margin for error, Khalil was dead.

Carter found herself in this position far too often it seemed. Frasier broke the news that morning Khalil was unmistakingly dead, verified by CT and EEG. There was only a single brain wave pattern; no doubt remained. She came here directly afterward and hadn't moved for several hours. It was calming in a way, serene even. The only sound was the beeping of the monitors and soft whooshing noise of air being blown through the oxygen tubing. The only motion was the slight rise and fall of the white sheet as the man before her took shallow breaths. At least according to Janet he was breathing on his own. The trach was still there with it's odd-looking tubing sticking out of his neck in case that changed; but it was still an improvement. She tried to remind herself of that and not stare at how pale he looked against the white sheets.

As she sat there with him she thought about the things he said to her that last night. She thought about other things too, it wasn't just her work she needed to be able to share it was the people here at the SGC that she loved. It was a little bit of an epiphany, yes she did love them, and that was okay. Right then she knew in the deepest part of her heart this was all the family she needed. If things changed in the future so be it. She wouldn't have any regrets, not for allowing these people to be the most important things in her life.

She took his hand and began talking to him. Janet swore it was possible he could hear what she was saying and that it was not just therapy for her. She told him how sorry she was she'd missed some things before but was determined to stay with him this time, no matter what. As she spoke she squeezed his hand and to her surprise he squeezed back.

Her head jerked up eyes open wide. Not sure if it was just a reflex she leaned forward and spoke to him more directly than before, "Colonel, it's Carter, can you feel my hand? You squeezed it once can you do it again? Squeeze my hand." He did. This time he tightened his grip and didn't let go. Carter was too frightened to let go of him, thinking that somehow by breaking the connection she'd lose him again. Instead of going to find Frasier, she yelled for her.

The doctor came around the corner running, expecting nothing and everything at the same time. She stopped just short of the foot of the bed. "What's wrong?"

Carter answered with tears in her eyes, "He squeezed my hand."

Frasier immediately came to the other side of the bed and shone the penlight into his eyes. She smiled for the first time in days it seemed. "I think you're right." She dimmed the overhead light and took his other hand. "Colonel? It's time to wake up. Open your eyes. You can do it."

His first response was to tighten his fingers on both of the hands he was holding. Carter looked up at Janet just as she looked back and they smiled at each other. Something was happening. They both looked at his face expectantly. His eyelids fluttered for a moment then opened slowly. Relief washed over them both.

"Colonel, it's good to have you back. You can't talk right now because there's a tube in your throat. Do you understand?"

He moved his head just slightly to nod and winced at the discomfort. The brace had already been removed but the muscles were still weak.

Frasier glanced at Sam for approval to tell him with what they both knew they must. "Colonel, you should know, Khalil..."

He responded before she could say more by squeezing her hand again and pressing his eyes shut firmly. He knew. The silence in his head was deafening. He could barely remember what it was like to be alone in his own mind, he was so accustomed to Khalil being there; even after this short while.

He wanted to turn away but settled for keeping his eyes closed and shutting out the world that way. Both women took the hint and silently exited leaving him to be alone in his grief.

The loss was horrendous. It was so similar to losing Charlie and brought all of those feelings back to the surface. Severe trauma, no time to say goodbye, no way to hold back the inevitable.

He never thought about it before but his relationship with Khalil had grown considerably. At first he was a kind of 'pet' something that was there but only occasionally given attention. From that he became something much more. O'Neill had to explain the customs of Earth to him and 'bring him up' so to speak in how humans here lived their lives and what behaviors were acceptable and what was not.

In many ways it was like raising a son- in a vastly accelerated time frame of course, but still very much the same. With his playful and curious nature, it was not hard to forget Khalil was centuries old, which only made the parallel more realistic.

Most recently O'Neill was beginning to view Khalil as an equal, a step of immense proportions. Even Khalil understood. It was a final acceptance of their status as a 'blended' being, making the ultimate choice to not go back. That choice was not quite yet made and O'Neill winced, he should have told him days ago, before the last mission. He hoped Khalil knew. He wasn't going back.

While O'Neill physically grew stronger over the next several days, he remained withdrawn and eerily quiet. Carter came and went, Teal'c came and went. Daniel often came and stayed for long periods of time. He was dealing with his own guilt for not being able to get them out of a bad situation.

By this time all the tubes were out except a single IV in O'Neill's hand. He was grateful especially to get the tube out of his neck and that 'spike' out of his groin. Both of those made him feel like some kind of bizarre life-sized voodoo doll.

Still the Colonel was barely talking. After another visit and a one-sided conversation Carter rose from the chair and slowly walked past Frasier's office and toward the door.

"Sam."

Carter stopped walking and glanced in the little room. "Janet."

Frasier waved her hand and spoke in a hushed tone. "Come in here. Close the door."

Carter did as she was told, and plopped down in the hard chair. "He's not getting better is he?"

"You know, neither did you for a long time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jolinar."

Carter's face dropped. "That was different. I never came to accept her before she died. Maybe I would have if there'd been time, I don't know. What he's feeling has got to be something beyond my comprehension."

"You think he'd made the choice to keep the symbiote?"

"Yeah."

Janet looked down at her hands thoughtfully. "You're still the only one with any where near the same experience." She glanced at the Major for a sign and when none was forthcoming she continued. "He's suffering from severe depression. I'm thinking of calling in Doctor Mackenzie."

Carter's head shot up. "That won't help."

Now Janet's hand sneaked over and rested on Sam's. "Maybe not, but there is something that might."

Sam didn't move.

"Talk to him. Not about what's happening around here or your latest project. Talk to him about Jolinar. About what it was like to gain something so extraordinary and then lose it. Or; don't talk. Just be there for him. I know what you went through. I was here. Cassie was here. There was a while we weren't sure you'd make it."

"Cassie helped. I was so afraid she'd hate me after how I threatened her, and then this 'thing' that had made me into a monster, turned out to be something caring, noble even. If there had just been a little more time." He head dropped to her hands.

"I'm planning on taking out the IV later. He hasn't asked, not even once, but I plan to permit him to leave the infirmary. Why don't you come back in a while and we'll see if we can motivate him?"

Carter nodded hesitantly. She still had issues to deal with herself; how could she help the Colonel?