You know that idea that Mom had about inviting over Xander and Willow to watch videos? The one that I agreed to of my own free will? Well, let me just state for my mental record that I am very, very dumb. Like, Bjork wearing a dead swan to the Oscars dumb.

So the day had started out great, right? I wake up, smile, take a shower, smile, exchange flirty 'you had your tongue down my throat last night!' glances with Angel over the breakfast table, smile... life was good!

But then the mom unit announces that Xander had called and that she had invited him to our video day. Behind my back! And, okay, so maybe I had said yes to it the day before yesterday. Like that means anything! Besides, that was sooo... well, the day before yesterday.

Needless to say, the prospect of sitting through five hours of PG when I could be enjoying the R-rated show in 3D and SURROUND SOUND is not of the good.

Whine. Pout.

Which brings us up to the present. We've watched three videos and I couldn't tell you the name of any of them.

Stupid movie. Stupid Xander. Stupid eleven bags of potato chips he insisted had to sit next to him.

Ugh! The only way that Angel could be sitting further away from me on this couch is if it broke in half and the side he was on was spontaneously launched into space.

Who chose this seating arrangement, anyway? At least Willow seemed to pick up on my Angel-lustage and happily spread out on the floor. I love Willow. She's so... Willow!

"Would anyone care for a pretzel?"

Hmph. You can't buy my forgiveness with snack-food, Xander!

"NO," I groan. "Are you sure we need to watch this one, too? I mean, who HASN'T seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"

"Of course we have to watch it, Buffster!" Xander answers immediately. I frown. I hate it when he calls me that. "It's required viewing. And, really, we have HOURS to kill. My parents said I could stay here all night if I wanted!"

How can I put this nicely? Residents of the upper east side of Sunnydale were startled by the sound of thousands of car alarms being triggered by the bleeting, anguished mental scream coming from my house.

"Oo, like a sleepover!" Willow enthuses. I shoot her a pleading glance and jerk my head towards Angel. She glances back and forth between us, not understanding, before her eyes widen to previously unheard of proportions and her mouth made a little 'O'. She grins crazily and I couldn't help but return it. "Or-or... no. Because I... um..."

"You have a... thing!" I supply.

She gives a hyper-ish nod and stands up. "Um, yeah! The thing! That I have. I think I should be getting home now. I can't keep putting it off. The thing, I mean," she babbles. She brushes some stray popcorn kernels off her pants and gives Xander a signifigant glance. "Don't you have a thing tonight, too, Xander?"

"Nope! I have a completely free weekend," he announces, much to my absolute horror. He fumbles through the bag of videos he had brought and pulls out what appears to be the entire inventory of Blockbuster. "Looks like we have plenty to watch, too!"

Oh come ON! This is like a bad episode of Full House.

"Actually, Willy Wonka sort of gives me the creeps," Angel interrupts. He stands up abrubtly and sets his coke on the coffee table. "I think I'm going to go out back. Get some fresh air."

He gives me a strange look before disappearing into the kitchen and out our back door.

I frown in confusion. Okay, what was THAT about?

Willow nudges my shin with her shoe and I glance back up at her. "You know, your backyard is really big, Buffy. A-and it's dark out. Um, don't you think you should make sure Angel doesn't get lost?" she prods, raising her eyebrows.

I stare at her as if she had gone crazy for a moment before it clicks. Duh! God, I'm such a blonde. "Yes! Yes I should. I'll just go do that, then. Bye Willow!"

"Bye! Call me whenever you're not, um, 'busy'," she beams before grabbing her stuff and bolting out the door.

I wave spastically before jumping off the couch and power-walking towards the kitchen.

"Wait!" Xander blurts and I cringe. I'm going to start having phantom pains if I don't get some Angel-shaped action, ASAP. Xander gives me a panicked look before continuing. "Angel is a big boy! I think he can find his own way around the backyard, don't you? Besides, he probably needs some, you know, alone time. Adapting to a new culture and all. You should leave him be."

"Please! What would it say about America if my helpless exchange student twisted his ankle right in my very own backyard? Three out of four doctors agree that 90% of accidents occur in the home," I state. "You stay here in case we need someone to call for help, okay?"

Xander looks like he's about to protest, but I'm out the door before he can open his mouth.

The moment I step out onto our patio Angel grabs my hand and presses me up against the wood siding of our house. I let out a little shriek in surprise, but that is quickly swallowed by Angel's mouth.

Oh BOY!

I sigh happily and wind my arms around his neck. He slides his fingers lightly under my chin and lifts my face to his, giving us a little better angle. He's so tall and I'm so... not... that I have to stand on my very tiptoes and he has to bend over a bit for this to even work at all. Not that I'm complaining. In fact, feeling like I'm about to lose my balance at any moment and collapse against him just makes things hotter.

And GOD are things hot already. I've kissed other guys, but I sure as hell never felt anything like this. My heart is pounding and I feel like I've run a marathon. Just when I think I'm going to run out of air, Angel pulls back a little and slides his lips up to my forehead, holding my face between his big palms. He kisses me softly there and I sigh again. God, it's too much.

"A-angel," I moan and tip my face back up. He kisses me immediately and I paw desperately at the front of his shirt. My fingers seem to take on a life of their own when they slide over a button. I unhook it shakily and move my hand inside the space between the cloth and his chest.

He pulls back a little bit and leans his cheek against the top of my head and sighs. I'm a little worried that maybe he thinks I was going too fast, but I don't move my hand. I like it right where it is and it's staying put until further notice.

We stand there for a moment, really close. Like, thigh-pressing, face-smushing into his shoulder close. If his jeans were just a little bit tighter, I'd probably be able to tell what religion he is.

"I've been thinking about what you said," Angel mumbles against my hair. I can feel the vibration of his voice from somewhere underneath my cheek. I press my face against him a little harder and try not to moan. "About working it out."

"Mmm-unng?" I ask with some of his shirt in my mouth.

I'd like to say that that was an accident, but... lying is wrong.

"I think we can," he continues and his voice is soft and quiet. I snap out of my salty-Angel-chest-stupor and blink, looking up at him and listening much more carefully. "I know that things are going to be tough, but when you kiss me..."

I wait for him to finish his sentence, but he doesn't. He stares down at me, smoothing his big hands over my shoulder blades. There is something in his eyes that he isn't saying, but I know what it is. So I say it for him. "When you kiss me, I wanna die."




Fifteen insanely perfect minutes later, Angel and I stumble back inside the house. Well, I stumbled and he looked as calm and perfect and fuckable as ever.

And yes, before you freak, I WAS starting to think of him like that. And when I say 'starting', I of course mean that I had always thought of him like that, but was only now coming to the scary/delicious realization that it might actually happen.

I mean, losing my virginity is a big deal. I've thought about it a lot, but I've SO not been ready to go there, you know? The closest I've ever even gotten was letting Tyler put his hand under my shirt once when we were making out in his Dad's Toyota Corolla. But the moment I felt his sweaty hand paw at my boob like it was the gearshift, the night was pretty much over.

As romantic as the whole event was... n't, we never got around to a repeat performance. Probably because whenever Tyler got the idea in his head that he might get somewhere with me after a date, he would start to make these gross "Uuh uuh uuh" sounds in his throat and I'd spontaneously remember that I had cheerleading practice.

Not long after my fourth 10:30 PM 'hair appointment', Marissa Lyons gleefully announced in front of the whole cafeteria that my best friend Jennifer had 'gone all the way' with my boyfriend. I tried to save face by saying that Tyler and I were so over already, but the truth was that it really, really hurt. What kind of friends did I have that would do this to me?

I kept my head up and stalked outside to the quad with my vacuum-sealed salad pak and as much dignity as I could muster. When Tyler figured out what had happened, he slithered outside and starting spewing all this bullshit about how sorry he was and how much he loved me and how it meant nothing to him at all.

I listened patiently until he was done and then dumped my cup of low-fat ranch dressing over his head. I felt a little better after that.

The point of this whole trip down memory lane was that I hadn't really thought much about sex after that moment. Well, I HAD, but in more of a 'I'm almost seventeen and apparently I'll never have a boyfriend again. Looks like I won't ever be having the sex!'.

And yes, embarassingly enough I used to put the word 'the' before 'sex' when I was thinking about it. I guess it sounded more clinical that way.

'Lots of people my age aren't having the sex.'

'I wonder if it hurts when you have the sex?"

'I don't need the sex. I have chocolate and trashy harlequin paperbacks!'

This was all well and good when I was alone and my best prospect for eternal bliss was Joey Peterson, who sat behind me in math and carried a canteen of milk around with him at all times. Not exactly the stuff torrid fantasies are made of.

But then, through an incredible stroke of good luck, I met Angel and suddenly sex is looking a lot more attractive.

My mind is saying, 'He's only going to be here five weeks. What if you give your virginity to him but you don't stay together?"

But my heart says, "You love him. Don't you want to feel as close to him as you possibly can? What if you never feel like this again?"

And it's true. What if I DON'T ever feel like this again? I know that people don't feel the way that I do every day. I know it. It's rare and it's incredible and it's once in a lifetime.

I've known him for less than a week and I know it's crazy, but... I DO love him. I do. And something tells me he feels the same way about me.

Besides, my body is saying, "I want me some Naked Angel!" and frankly, that's a pretty persuasive argument. Who am I to differ?

So when my mom comes down the stairs and sees the two of us holding hands and me looking like a girl who's just been thoroughly kissed, I know what she's thinking.

'Oh god, my only daughter is going to be having the sex.'

... and she's right.