Disclaimers: Well, I thought I was Chris Carter once. . .

A/N: For all of you who like this story, I'm so sorry it took so long.  I've been so busy.  But hopefully this will satisfy those of you who've been threatening me.  Just kidding.  But here it is.  I promise I'll try to get the next chapter up faster.  Oh, and I apologize if Mulder's out of character.  I never finished this chapter when I was a teen, and it's been a while since I've watched the X-Files.

Four

            "I knew it," Mulder mumbled, staring at the green computer screen in amazement.

            I arched an eyebrow warily. "Knew what, Mulder?"

            We'd been in the Lone Gunmen's hideout for all of about ten minutes.  The whole time we basically avoided each other like the black plague.  We purposely stayed on opposite sides of the room, not making any eye contact at all.  It was so obvious even the Lone Gunmen noticed.

            At the moment, Langly was staring at me behind his thick glasses in complete wonder.  Maybe he knows.  They are pretty smart.

            Mulder gazed at me.  No, not at me, through me.  He seemed much more interested in my shoulder than anything else. "This murderer, whoever he is, isn't killing because he's deranged.

            I folded my arms across my chest. "So the killer's murdering doctors because he feels like it.  And he's not deranged?"

            Mulder smiled. "Exactly!"

            I sighed.  He's right.  I should have gone back to being a doctor.  All he's done so far is infuriate and annoy me.  I should leave.  But that's the problem, isn't it?  I won't ever leave him without being forced to first.  I need him too much.  I love him.

            Whoa.  Wait a minute and back up.  Love him?  Where'd that come from?  Is that what everything is all about?  The reason I wanted to deny the kiss, the looks, everything?

"Scully," Mulder was saying. "The third doctor who was killed was the doctor who delivered you."

            "What?" I exclaimed, stunned.

            "The first one was the doctor who delivered me," Mulder continued excitedly. "Don't you see the pattern emerging here, Scully?"

            Too many thoughts were whirling through my mind: doctors, births, Mulder, me.

            I guess he saw the shock on my face and mistook it for confusion, because he answered me softly.

            "Scully, the killer is after us."

            I was finally able to speak. "What about Doctor Patterson?  You and I didn't know her."

            Mulder shook his head slowly. "No, Scully, you did.  Well, in a way.  She was your pediatrician."

            This was too much.  I looked at Mulder like he was a maniac and walked out the door.

            I reached Mulder's car at the end of the block by the time he caught up with me.  He grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

            "Scully, you have to believe this.  It's not one of my outrageous theories.  Someone is after us," he said quickly before I had time to put in my usual logical two cents in.

            I swallowed, trying not to notice his hand still resting on my arm. "Mulder, I do believe you."

            Mulder opened his mouth to state his normal counter argument. "Scully, the proof is right- You what?"

            I half smiled at his surprise. "I believe you."

            Mulder gazed at me out of child-like eyes filled with wonder. "You do?" he asked boyishly.

            "I do." His hand on my arm was sending warm tingles all over my body.  It was making it hard for me to concentrate.  Why do you do this to me? I wanted to ask him.  I suddenly felt light headed.

            "Are you okay?" he asked, peering closely at my face.  Too close, if you ask me.  His forehead was scrunched up in worry.

            "I'm fine!" I said, my voice sounding weak even to me.  Of course I knew that would never be true.  I'm in love with my partner and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

            Mulder's hand moved from my arm to the back of my neck.  Right about where that spot is.

            Don't do that, I silently begged.  If you do that, I won't be able to control myself.  And control is the last thing I can afford to lose.

            Mulder leaned in close, I held my breath in anticipation and my heart started beating rapidly in my chest, and he opened the car door.  I let out an inaudible sigh and I felt my face fall.

            "You're in shock, Scully," he explained quietly. "I'll drop you off at home on the way back to the office." He held the door open for me as I climbed numbly into the passenger seat.  I stared out window trying to get my thoughts in order.  Okay, I was in love with the guy.  No big deal.  People fall in love all the time.  And it doesn't always mean anything ever comes from it, right?

            "You know," Mulder began as he started up the car. "I thought things would be different."

            A sense of dread began kneading its way into my stomach.  I had the sudden feeling I wasn't going to like this conversation very much.

            "What did you think would be different?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral.

            Mulder kept his eyes on the road. "After we got back from Antarctica, I thought things would've changed by now.  But everything went back to the way it used to be.  You retreated behind your usual wall, shutting me out."

            I opened my mouth to answer him, but my vocal chords decided to let him keep talking.  I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that I never shut him out; that he's the only one I really talk to.  But I realized he was right.  I don't trust myself around him, so I do keep him in the dark about a lot of things.

            "So what do we do now?" he asked.

            "I don't want to go home," I told him in a quiet voice.

            He didn't say anything as we continued on our way.  He kept popping sunflower seeds into his mouth like prescription pills.  When the reached the parking lot of our building, he sat rigid behind the steering wheel.  I adjusted my jacket, nervously picking at non-existent lint.

            "So what do we do now?" he repeated, voice void of emotion.

            I could feel his eyes studying me carefully and tried not to flinch under the gaze.  I took a deep breath and turned to him. "Why can't it be like before?  Why do you want to complicate things?"

            Mulder sighed. "Isn't that much obvious, Scully?  I want you.  I want you so bad it hurts to think, to breath.  It's been like that for years."

            I tore my eyes away from his searing one and stared out the window. "You don't mean that, Mulder.  We've been partners for six years.  It wasn't unlikely we'd be sexually attracted to each other."

            His hand came down on the steering wheel, hard, making me jump. "Don't give me that reasoning excuse.  I don't want to hear it.  And don't try to tell me how I feel."

            I turned back to him after a moment of silence.  He had one hand on his face, rubbing it roughly.

            "I can't do this, Scully.  I don't think we should be partners anymore."

            It was like a slap in the face.  I'm sure a real one wouldn't have hurt so much.  And it wouldn't have felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.  Tears sprang to my eyes, clouding my vision. "After all we've been through?  You'd throw it all away?"

            "Isn't that what you're doing?"

            I shook my head slowly and swallowed. "Do what you have to, Mulder.  Isn't that what we always do?  What's best for you?  I'm not going to be bullied into something just because you want now.  I think you're a little late realizing we should be together."  I opened the door and got out, ignoring his sounds of protest. And before I slammed it shut in his complaining face, I told him, "I'm not feeling so great.  I think I'll head home."

~*~

            I cried for the first time in a long time.  I don't even know how long I lay curled up in my bed staring at the wall.  I slept a little, but not much.  I was sure he'd be staying at a hotel, but was surprised (and a little relieved) when I heard the key in the lock and his feet shuffle in.

            I didn't move.  I didn't want to see him right that moment.  The one person I trusted and cared for more than anyone wanted to be with me.  Just as a good lay.  Not anything more.  What exactly was wrong with me?  That alone started a fresh set of tears.

            "Scully?" he called from the open doorway.

            I didn't answer.  I just burrowed deeper into the sea of blankets.  The wooden floor creaked under his footsteps as he moved to the bed.  My heart beat faster when the mattress shifted under his weight as he lay down next to me.  He slid under the blankets and wrapped his arms around me tightly, my back pressed against his chest.

            "I'm sorry.  For everything," he said quietly, his breath tickling my neck.

            My stomach turned over unnaturally and my skin broke out into goose bumps.  My body moved to face him, even though my mind was telling it no.

            "Mulder, I-"

            "Ssh," he told me gently. "No talking. Not tonight.  Let's imagine it's the last time we'll see each other for years." He leaned in and pressed a single kiss to both my eyelids.  He bent his head and his mouth captured my in a rough, desperate kiss.  I returned the kiss, just as desperate, just as needy, dragging him closer.

            My mouth opened under his with little difficulty and he slid his tongue in.  He shifted so his body covered mine.  I arched my back as his hands found his way under my shirt.  His hand covered my breast, kneading it until I let out a loud gasp.  Then his mouth left mine to take over where his hand left off.  I tugged at his shirt, but he merely shook his head and whispered, "Not yet."

            I wrapped my legs around his waist impatiently and lifted my hips up.  His eyes rolled back into his head at the sensation.  He mumbled something incoherent and started tugging on my clothes.

A few more seconds and his shirt and jeans were on the floor somewhere, quickly followed by my underwear.  God, he was fast.  His mouth covered mine as he filled me completely; making both our breaths speed up.

            It happened so fast I couldn't stop it if I tried.  But I didn't want to.  It felt like I'd been missing something my whole life, and I'd just found it.  But it wasn't the time for thought.  My heart was beating faster than it ever has, and I was so sure it would jump out at any minute.  My hands clutched at his back as he pushed in deeper.

            The room was filled with moans and heavy breathing as he pushed me deeper into the bed.  I matched him for every movement he made, sensing that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, begging for release.

            It came quickly, exploding in me like a bomb, filling every inch of my body.  Mulder linked his hands with mine, clenching them tightly as he continued to move in me.  He pressed a searing kiss to my lips, then buried his face in my hair.

            He moaned my name loudly when he reached his peak.  Our hearts were beating loudly in the same rhythm.  He lifted his head and stared at me.  Neither of us said anything for a long time.  But then there wasn't much to say.  Six years of waiting finally over. 

            Mulder rolled off me and lay next to me.  I decided now was as good a time as any to say something.

            "What-"

            He put a hand to my lips and cut me off. "I told you, no talking.  Well, you can talk, but no questioning what just happened."

            I nodded my head in agreement. "All right.  Then why now?"

            He let out a laugh and turned his head to me. "It was bound to happen, don't you think, Scully? Better now than later."

            I didn't answer.  Instead I turned to the window, my back facing him.  My heart felt heavy suddenly.  Of course.  Leave it to Mulder to sleep with you because it would have happened anyway.  I wanted to yell and scream at him to get the hell out of my bedroom and my life. 

            I pretended to be asleep as he called my name.

A/N:  Okay, this chapter is done.  I'm trying not to take too long for the next one.  I'm really sorry it took over two months.  Bad case of writer's block.  And I apologize for the sex scene.  I don't write them very well yet.