"Look! It's Mulan the Mighty Huntress's Castle of Darkness!" Crutchy smiled to himself. He had made it. He had done the impossible. HE HAD made it out of the psychotic fields! Wow, he thought. I'm a special guy. I am a very special guy.
"Hey!" Spooky yelled.
Crutchy smiled warmly at the creature he was atop of. "Oh, Spooky. I can't imagine what it'd be like without you." Tears of joy streamed silently down his cheeks, making a neat little puddle in Spooky's mane.
"Kid, I can't either," the horse replied. "But we're coming up to the castle gates, so be quiet!"
"Y'know what?" Ling giggled. "That looks like Boots and Vitani."
"What? Who?" Crutchy asked frantically.
"Over there!" Ling pointed to two figures, then gasped.
"Oh, no! It IS Boots and Vitani!" they chorused.
Crutchy kicked Spooky. "Faster! We need to catch them before they get to the gate!"
Buttercup and Spooky began running, and the female equine wheezed, "It's a trap!"
"Stop!" Ling yelled. "It's a trap! A TRAP!"
"Can you yell more quietly?!" Spooky demanded.
Buttercup laughed. "Oh, Spooky, don't be so hard on him. He's just a child."
"No I'm not!" Ling yelled just as loudly.
Spooky flattened his ears and his fur puffed out in anger, but by that time they had reached Vitani and Boots. There were many people there they'd never before in their lives seen. A joyful reunion took place and a round of introductions followed.
"So...uh...what's the trap?" Boots asked.
"There isn't one," Buttercup informed him. She whipped out an Uzi. "I just wanted all the glory for myself!"
Bullets sprayed all over everyone, but the Liquidator quickly spread his watery self to intercept the flying projectiles.
"Hey!" one of the bullets complained. It sounded disturbingly similar to the Taco Bell chihuahua of legend. "Get out of our way, man!"
"Sorry, no can do," the Liquidator replied. "Not while there's still money to be had!"
"Psh," the bullet snorted. "You're not getting any money out of them!" It tried to swim away, but then it realized it had to arms or legs (being a bullet). "Alright, alright, fine, I won't try to embed myself in anyone. It's messy business, anyway. Just let me out, I'm starting to rust!"
The Liquidator drew back, and the bullets clattered to the ground.
Darkwing sent a flying kick at Buttercup, and though she fought desperately, the Dark Duck was more than a match for her. Spooky wrested the gun away from her.
I bet you've forgotten all about Ling. Haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU?! Well, I haven't.
Poor Ling was lying on the ground. He had been thrown from Buttercup's back when she stood up and pulled out her gun.
"Oh!" Mulan exclaimed, hurrying over to the frail, injured man. She cradled his bleeding head in her lap and pulled a sharp rock from his skull. "Are you okay? Are you okay?" she asked gently. When no answer came, she looked up and pointed at Bushroot. "Help, YOU go call 911!"
Bushroot paled and beads of sweat stood out on his forehead. "B-b-but...um...what...wh-what was that number?"
"Eh?" Boots demanded, holding a ear horn (y'know, one of those things that you hold up to your ear...it looks like a horn...) up to his ear. "Heh?"
Suddenly, the dark spooky moor where Mulan (TMH)'s Castle of Darkness was grew even darker and a spotlight appeared. The whole gang looked up, bewildered, as a really fakey announcer's voice came on. "Welcome to Mulan's Castle of Darkness!"
At this, Darkwing looked at the Liquidator, who shrugged and said, "It's not me."
"We've got some very special guests today!" the voice continued. A dramatic fanfare sounded and two girls, both about average height with short red hair and green eyes, stepped into the circle of light.
"I'm Pixie!" one of the girls announced (dramatically).
"And I'm Dixie!" the other announced (just as dramatically).
"Hell's bells, I'm seein' double!" Crutchy exclaimed.
"PEO-PLE!" Vitani yelled, totally ignoring the two girls. "We've got something to accomplish here! No time for chatter! Let's move move MOVE!"
"Hey!" one of the girls yelled. Everyone thought it was Dixie, but they weren't entirely sure.
The fact that no one was entirely sure really got to Boots, so he suggested, "Why don't you guys--er--girls put your names on your shirts, or something? So then we can all tell which one of you is which."
The girls looked at each other, then said simultaneously, "We DO look a lot alike, don't we?"
Spooky, Ling, Crutchy, the Liquidator, Bushroot, Mulan, Boots, Vitani, and Darkwing nodded.
"So...the names?" Boots pressed.
They both took out markers and wrote their names in big block letters on their shirts.
"Thank you," everyone sighed.
"You're welcome!" Dixie put her hands on her hips. "Now, to get into that castle."
"Wait, you two aren't coming with us!" Darkwing exclaimed.
"We're bored!" Pixie whined.
"We're coming with you," Dixie added decisively (and more maturely than her sister).
"Just let 'em come," Crutchy said.
Darkwing sighed. "Oh, fine. But you can deal with the lawsuit by their parents if they get hurt!"
For several hours, they discussed how to get into the castle, how to avoid the guards, how to free Snipes, and just sort of general break-out tactics.
Soon it was darker. Well, it was always dark, but now, since it was night, it was even darker than before.
"Here we go," Pixie stated, tipping her army helmet. No one bothered asking where she'd gotten it. "Troops, this is going to be a long and dangerous mission." She paced back and forth in front of the castle gates. "Now, you all know the plan. Let's go."
The whole group crept into the castle, slowly and stealthily making their ways to what they thought was the dungeon.
Then Spooky kicked a pebble.
Alarms sounded and red, blinking lights came on, which pretty much just screamed out their presence to everyone in a twelve-mile radius.
"Look!" Boots shouted, pointing to an orange exit sign. "If we go in there she won't catch us!" He ran towards the door, opening it.
"NOOOOO!" screamed Dixie. "IT'S A TRAP!"
But Boots had already passed through the door.
Seconds later, the sound of a chainsaw was audible, and evil laughter closely followed,
Bushroot's eyes widened. "That s-sounds like--"
Suddenly, the door exploded outwards, and a figure emerged from the smoke. "Why, hello, you two. It's about time you showed up again."
At the sound of this voice, Bushroot and the Liquidator exchanged terrified glances.
And the figure's evil laughter filled the air.
"Hello? Anyone there?" Megavolt called. No answer. He tried to swivel his head around, but to no avail. Hanging upside down was most definitely NOT fun.
He reached up and touched his throat gingerly. After all, blood HAD come out of his mouth, and that most certainly wasn't normal. Stupid house. If he ever got his hands on it, he'd fry it! Oh, wait. It was a house.
"Where's Quackerjack?" he asked nobody in particular. "And Mr. Banana Brain? and that obnoxious, whiny little kid?" With a sigh, he answered himself, "They probably forgot about me. Down here in the basement of his cold, cruel, house, whiling away the hours staring at that chainsaw over there in the corner..." A thought hit him. "Chainsaw? Uh oh." He squirmed to break free from his bonds, but nothing happened. Evidently the House knew how to tie a knot. And it had even taken the time to hook him up to an energy draining device.
"Oh, what I wouldn't give to be back in St. Canard," he moaned. Back in St. Canard, he...STILL had to deal with strange happenings, but at least THERE it was out of the ordinary! But here...where WAS here, anyway? Did it even really exist? Maybe he was imagining it all. Maybe it wasn't real. Maybe...maybe he was just asleep!
He pinched himself and yelped in pain. No, he wasn't asleep. That should have been obvious. It was such a simple solution. Too simple. To pass the time, he began whistling a song that he could never remember the words to. 'Daring duck of mystery' or something weird like that.
Suddenly, a door slammed, and Megavolt twisted around to see what was going on.
His visitor evoked a typical reaction--the rat began to tremble and attempted to make himself as small as possible. Of course, as he was hanging upside-down from the ceiling, this became, rather quickly, a failed attempt.
"What are you looking at, you knob?!"
Megavolt gulped. "N-nothing, Boss. Um...I just...uh...didn't expect to see you down here, that's all."
"How quaint." Dressed in a yellow, red, and black double-breasted jacket, blood red fedora, and black mask, the notorious, fearsome Negaduck stalked into the room, dragging two whimpering figures behind him. "Remember these two, Sparky?" he asked patronizingly.
"Um...yeah..."
"Well, that's good, because they'll be joining you!"
"But N-n-n-negaduck," Bushroot pleaded from the floor, "we were just doing your dirty work!"
"Oh, sure, you were doing EXACTLY what I told you to! Bringing Darkwimp and all his little friends here to break THEIR little friends out! Since when is doing work for me the same as playing traitor?!"
"B-b-but, Boss--" Bushroot stopped when he heard a voice.
"Oh, Negs!"
"AH!" Bushroot screamed. "IT'S MULAN!"
"Shutup, you knob!" Negaduck straightened his jacket, chuckling as he eyed all of the torture equipment. "I'll be back. And you'd better all be where you were when I left!" He smiled strangely. "My lady awaits."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Megavolt paused, shaking his head to clear it (not that his head was EVER clear). "Did he just say, 'my lady awaits'? In reference to MULAN?"
Bushroot nodded. "Where've you been?"
"Hanging from the ceiling!"
"He doesn't remember," the Liquidator remarked.
Megavolt pulled a lightbulb from a pocket of his jumpsuit and began gently stroking it.
"Do you want me to get you down?" Bushroot questioned.
There was no answer.
"Megavolt!"
"Oh! I thought you were talking to the lightbulb," he admitted. "But yeah, I'm about ready to come down now...I've only been up here for about THREE HOURS!"
The plant-duck stretched out a leafy tendril and untied the knots holding Megavolt bound upside-down, and the rat promptly fell flat on his face.
"Ow..." he moaned in pain. "Help me..."
"He just did," the Liquidator said snidely.
Neither, of course, made any attempt to peel the rat off the floor.
"What are you knobs doing?!"
"Ah!" they screamed.
Negaduck reentered the room, this time with Mulan the Mighty Huntress at his side. "Did I give you permission to move?" he demanded.
Mulan smiled evilly.
"Don't hurt us," Bushroot whimpered.
"Oh, but my dear Veggie, that was EXACTLY my intent," Mulan replied, her tone masking her true sadistic nature. "Negs, darling," she said, turning to him, "put them in the The Machine."
"The Machine?" Negaduck's eyes widened in delight. "I love a woman with an affinity for inflicting pain upon her minions!"
The two of them them shared a moment of evil chuckling, causing Bushroot, Megavolt, and the Liquidator to cringe. The Machine. The very words struck fear and terror into their hears. And with excellent reason. Oh, not because they'd seen...The Machine...but just because it sounded pretty terrifying. Hell, if Mulan and Negaduck had made it, it HAD to be terrifying.
After a couple more seconds of evil chuckling, the duck and the huntress shared a kiss filled with evil passion. And, then, quite evilly, she left the chamber.
"Alright, you three," Negaduck began, a devilish grin gracing his face, "it's time for you to experience some REAL pain."
"C'mon, Boss," Megavolt attempted meekly. "Think of all the great times we've had together! Um...the robberies! And...the failed attempts at world domination..."
"Shutup!" he snarled. Megavolt wilted and the duck went on, "Now, if you'll come with me..."
"Any way I can sell my ticket?" the Liquidator murmured.
"I'm not giving you a choice, moron!"
Negaduck dragged them all from the room. "Gentlemen, you are about to become the first in a long line of losers to see The Machine. It's the ULTIMATE world-conquest-demolition-device. And it's powered by living tissue."
Megavolt cringed. "Living...tissue?"
The duck nodded, the continued, "When fully powered, it will rise to the top of this Castle of Darkness from inside and shoot an anti-gravitational electron flux laser beam into the sky directly at the sun." He took a breath. "The beam will then form a mirror between our LOVELY planet and the sun." Negaduck looked at Bushroot. "And then...darkness."
Bushroot cringed. "But what about the plants?"
"They'll all die, I guess," Negaduck shrugged. "Then, The Machine will drill into the earth and release millions of robots. And THEN--this is the best part--the robots will drill upwards through the surface in all the major cities of the world, including St. Canard!"
The three villains gasped.
"That way my queen, Mulan, and I can board our spaceship and fly to the moon to wait out the destruction."
Megavolt glanced at the Liquidator and made the universally known sign for 'psycho'. Then, turning back to Negaduck, he questioned, "No offense, but what are you gonna do up there?"
"I'm glad you asked. We will be using the Super Meltdown Device to melt the arctic and turn it into a giant slave pen. Then we'll come back and round up all the citizens that we've subdued and put them to work. We'll be the rulers of the world!"
Abruptly, Mulan floated into the room.
"Negs!" she called excitedly. "When are you going to get rid of them?"
"I will when I'm ready," he snapped.
"Oh." She cackled softly.
"Why don't you...check on the prisoners?" Negaduck suggested.
She hurried off.
The Liquidator, Megavolt, and Bushroot heard her shouting, "Hey! You better not be hiding any more licorice!"
Negaduck turned to Bushroot and the Liquidator. "Your little friends won't get far."
"What friends?" Megavolt questioned. "The weed has friends?"
"They were trying to infiltrate the place. They escaped. But we'll catch them. Soon. They. Will. Be. Captured."
"Th-then what prisoners are you talking about?"
"Some other prisoners, knob! It doesn't concern you!" Negaduck opened a door. "Behold, the machine."
