AN: Well, in this chapter, Kagome reveals some of her story. But not all. I still want a little bit of a twist here and there before I finally end this story! Anyway, sorry I couldn't get it out earlier, we ended up going on a 'vacation' of sorts to Bahrain. Toodles and please review!
~*~
He remembers running away from home, clutching tightly to his chest, sobs screaming out from his scrawny body. He remembers his mother's wailing screams, dying in the fire as the face of his older brother, grinning maliciously, appears from behind the flames. He remembers the struggle for air, both mental and physical. And after that, all he remembers is the abstruse darkness surrounding his very core. To this very moment, he stays lingering between the abysmal pits of disaster and the slight openings of hope.
~*~
I jolted back to reality as I realized how much I've been day-dreaming for the past few hours. It's been quite a fiasco lately, nobody's found the prisoners, save for the rare sightings of a certain Kouga. Kagura and Souten tried to catch him, but all in all, he was too fast. Blame me for hiring a guy who won 3 marathons in elementary. I'm sitting in one of those tainted bars with a cigarette in between my lips. God knows I haven't done this in a long time. Used to be addicted when I was still on the streets, but Naraku made me give it up. Told me we needed a healthy fighter to finish his ideals. Who knew that after all these years, I still would be able to defy him to the death? I still wondered what the hell Higurashi was talking about when she said Onigumo burnt our house down. That thought's been lingering in my head for an eternity, but I've never actually proceeded to check on it. Life's been rough lately, I've been denying that fact for a while now, but I guess it finally caught up on me.
I wonder what's roaming through my body now. Satisfaction? It's been awhile before I've been up and it feels so goddman good to get that breath of fresh air in my lungs. Normally I'm surrounded by the dark, damp walls of my tender-loving castle, but a man's got to have some variety, eh? That saying's certainly true with all the women. Actually, it's just been a while, been a while, if you catch my drift.
Wonder what's up with Sango right now. And Miroku, mind you. Those two are a little bit fucked up in the head, if you ask me. Hell, through all that seething hatred that seems to pass by everyday, even I know that they're just ready to shag each other to death. I wouldn't mind being in Miroku's shoes right now, having a chick like that want me.
I blow out under huge puff into the bar tender's face and all I receive are a few stares from those surrounding me. Has time passed by that long? I can't remember when people would scold me for doing something 'bad,' or look at me weird when I make fun of others. Goddamn, I actually miss that kind of invisible arrest.
"Inu-yasha," I hear a voice behind me. Swing around, that's what I do, and I look into the tresses of this used-to-be-bombshell. Can't help but feel a little sorry for her. Kagura, that's who. I was actually planning to let her go after a few years, but who knew I couldn't do it? She was just too good. Now she's just a shell of who she once was. She's the perfect warrior, she used to be the perfect soul.
"What is it?" I belt out coarsely. That whelping of tequila really did do its damage. A whole 2 bottles, I drank. Suppose it's messing with my head a little.
"We've caught sight of Kagome," Kagura continued, her emotions inconceivable behind her tone, "she was with Miroku."
I scrunched my eyebrows slightly. Now that was pretty unusual.
"There's more, Inu-yasha," she held up her hands, silencing my would-be tirade, "when I talked to him last, he said he had never spotted her during his patrolling."
I'm just thankful that I drank those 2 bottles of alcohol, I might've lashed out in the bar and destroyed everything in sight if it weren't for that. Surprising how alcohol-induced figures tend to react violently to news; it did the exact opposite for me.
"So he's decided to go to the other side?" I ask dozily. I ask for another shot of tequila.
"I guess."
"And how about you?" I question. By this time, I'm willing to accept any answer she is going to propose.
"You know I'm going to stay here, Inu-yasha," she says. I can see the little slivers of doubt hanging in her eyes, though, and I can't help but feel that tiny ounce of guilt. I hate guilt. I shut it out a long time ago, but my little fiend's decided to release itself from its bars today.
"Inu-yasha," she asks, tilting her head. I can hear the merry screaming of men across the hall. They're watching some program on television right now. One of them's holding a cell while cooing his kids good-night.
Were these the kind of people I hunted everyday? These fathers who loved their children, these husbands who brought gifts for their wives? I raided a bar once before, thinking it was only full of drunkards and pot-cracking assholes. One of them begged me not to kill their families as well. I went to his home. And I did what I always did.
"Inu-yasha!" Kagura belted out, nearly ready to thrash me with her claw-like hands.
"Yeah, monitor Miroku for a while," I say.
"And if I catch signs of betrayal?"
"Leave him be. The boy needs to make a choice," I say again. My words slur as my head decides to rest itself on the counter. I am no longer better than what I once perceived my victims to be.
"You're going to regret this later, Inu-yasha," Kagura warned, raising a finger at me.
"Yes, yes I am."
And she was off.
~*~
A few hours later I was up and running myself. Kagura dropped by to give me the occasional news-heading. Seems like Miroku was checking into a hotel with Higurashi; lucky bastard. Two women in one, must be every guy's dream.
During the time that I was out, I kept getting a few glances from people walking by. I guess it's because of that white mass of hair plastered on top of my head. It's become my legendary trademark, as of late. I know white hair is supposed to be for old cronies and all that innuendo, but I can't help my messed up genetics. Apparently, I was half-albino or something like that. My brother, now he was the full one. He couldn't go out into the day time for fear of the sun pelting his skin to death. Nevertheless, parents loved him full-time. Couldn't help but be jealous.
There I am, lamenting on the past again, I should've never had that tequila! My head's pounding concurrently and it's so messed up how every beat ends up evolving into another memory.
My mother for example; I never was a momma's boy, I was told that whenever she held me while I was a kid, I'd bawl out loud and my father would have to come bounding into the room. I could just imagine that scene, the big ass would start trying to calm me down. Yeah, the perfect little family.
I stumble over a small log as I run, never minding about the cuts and bruises I would have to suffer through later. Never mind about the Horizon Six or my band of followers now, never mind about Higurashi or Sango or how Miroku's up for betraying me. Never mind about anything. I'm free for the first few moments, and it feels so fucking great to be just myself for once.
Yeah, I cradle my head in my arms as I finally fall down. My knees go out before me and I wail into the night sky. Too bad there's nobody here to hear me, they would finally love to see the great Inu-yasha crack. And then I hear shallow footsteps in the ground next to me. Obviously, whoever it was, was trying to cover up their tracks. I don't care anymore.
"Inu-yasha," a soft, mellow voice came from behind me. I recognized it as Higurashi. Was she out here to kill me? Wouldn't mind that.
"Yo," was all I could muster up. King of Words my ass.
"Can I sit down here? All enemies aside," she invites herself onto the ground, smoothing her skirt as she ends up falling.
"It's a little bit slippery," I add hastily. All I received was an inevitable glare.
"You know, aren't the stars out there real nice?" she asks, pointing over to the nearest constellation. "That's Capricorn right over there. It's the only one I've ever been able to spot. I was born in January, actually, and I guess it really shows who I am. Stubborn, with a little tinsel of pride," she adds. I can only give her 'the look' as she decides to bit her lip.
"What sign are you?"
"Don't know."
"You don't know," my ears prick up, "or you don't want to tell me?"
"A little bit of both."
"Bad past, huh? I guess that's kind of like me. We're not so different, you know?" Higurashi tightens her grip on her sleeve.
"Don't talk about the past."
"Sorry," she sighs, "but I have to. I have to get off of my chest what I did before. I can't take it anymore," another sigh, "would you be my listening partner?"
"Don't think I'd help much."
"I don't care. I just need to talk."
"Why don't you go to Miroku or a priest?"
"You know about us, huh? You don't know the whole story," she begins, "can't talk to them. God knows I've been to so many priests, pastors, Fathers, and everything, but they're either too busy to take me in, or too scared."
I chuckle a little at her statement. My breath freezes in the cold air.
"Had yourself some tequila there, did you?" she frowns. I'm surprised she could even recognize the faint traces, "I know because I've been there before. A lot of times actually. Almost everyday I was hung up on alcohol. For some time it was my only escape after her."
"Sango?"
"Right on mister, right on."
She sits there, next to me; two adversaries, two sides of a coin, two complete opposites, breathing in unison while gazing out at the stars like a pair of wankers.
"So shoot, while I'm still hung up, and not ready to kill you. Tell me about this burden of yours," I slur.
"Condensed version or Elongated one?" she answers her own question, "I guess elongated's better," she nods, "Everything was so simple before she came. Miroku and I were practically inseparable. We were the hottest couple in town. Everyday, we'd go to the harbor and gaze out at the sea. Sometimes we'd get lucky and see the fishermen haul their catches onto the pier. I loved it like that," she sniffed, "you know, he told me he loved me over there?"
I roll my eyes disapprovingly.
"Sorry, it's just one of life's treasured memories for a girl when someone tells her he loves her.
"Anyway, the day Sango came, everyone seemed to forget about little old me. It was like they were under a spell, or something. Miroku's parents took her in and during the first few months, he hated her guts. Couldn't stand her! He came over to mine for hours upon hours, until, finally, Sango broke his little shell and became something like a little kid sister to him.
"God, I was so fucking jealous of her! And when she went on telling other people that her and Miroku already hooked up, I kind of snapped.
" I threatened her that if she ever spread out any lies again, she'd answer straight to me. That's when she started those rumors, you know? It was the regular teenage girl rivalry, but it was far more than that. She ordered me around, slapped me for no reason, tried to tell Miroku petty lies about me.
"It was that one day at the harbor," she closed her eyes, "that I finally decided to act. I was with Miroku at that time, I think it was straight out after 11th grade graduation. Who knew? It's all practically a blur now. I dragged him over to our favorite spot and I showed him the little surprise I had for him.
"It was a gun. A classic, 1950's model of a hunter's rifle. It belonged to my father, actually. And it still worked. I told him we could go have a little fun. Raid their home and blank shoot at the family."
"So you did exactly that and it turned out to be loaded, right?" I continue for her.
"No."
Silence filled around us as tears poured from her eyes.
"No," she whispered, "I never meant to blank shoot them. I meant to kill them all. And when I was doing it, I just couldn't stop myself. Ruining someone like that, a weird euphoria came to me, you know? And oh God, the look on Miroku's face! The people he were staying with, those were his adopted parents too! But they were like his family, for God's sake. And I killed them all. Every single last one of them. When Sango got home, she just found me holding that gun.
"Miroku was beside me, covering his face in horror. I left. Ran, actually. Out of the town. Out of every single thing I knew. I never expected to be seeing them anytime soon."
A sharp breath inclined in me as I finally figured out this girl's past. I'm in horror here, to be sitting next to someone who could do such a terrible thing. And then I realize that I myself, am a million times worse than her. It's my fucking profession to do something like that everyday and feel nothing of it.
"Did you know that I actually lived a couple of years as a salesclerk?" she added, "and then I got the opportunity of a lifetime. But I don't want to burden you with any more of my stories." She slides up, biting her lip gently. I guess she does that when she's nervous.
"Inu-yasha?" she asks, "thanks for listening. I think you should stop the search for us. You're never going to find where we're hiding. Pull back every soldier you've got from this city and plan for what you're about to do next," she says monotonously, "I'm telling you because you need to this; it's also my repayment for today."
"I'm leaving Miroku with you," I answer back.
"Thanks," she waves.
"But I'm also going to force Sango to come with you guys too."
"What?" she suddenly stops.
"I'm telling you, with Miroku gone, Sango's going to be with you."
"But--…"
"No buts. I'm doing this for her. And I'm doing it for him. They've been through a lot. The others can decide which side they choose, but nothing can make me change my opinion about them."
She nods slowly and walks away once more.
Goddamnit, what have I done?
~*~
AN: Hmm, I am really not satisfied with how this chapter turned out. Argh, in fact, I tried re-writing it but I just couldn't make it any better. Anyway, please review!
Disclaimer: I realize I've never done one of these before! Inu-yasha and co. are mine but I lost them in a game of poker. I suck at poker. I should never have played.
