FOOLS FOR LIFE
CHAPTER 2: MORNING REGRETS
"Wzznhppenglmf?"
This had been the most coherent word out of Spike's mouth since they had arrived back at his crypt. He was lying on his bed looking not unlike a bruised pear that kids had kicked around the playground a little too much. Or Wile E. Coyote at the end of the cartoon, Clem thought. He envisioned Spike walking off a cliff, and not noticing until a few steps later, and then looking down and holding up a sign that said, 'bye bye' before he fell in to the ravine.that was kinda funny. Which reminded him to check if Spike's TV had Cartoon Network here.
"Blahbrmgfingnotsotuff.."
Clem shook out of his thoughts and brought Spike a cup of warm blood. He had put it in the microwave and was still wondering how his friend had managed to get electricity into the crypt. Comfy little place this had become, even though he'd said he had to redecorate after some explosion a few weeks ago.
"Here ya go pal, this will make you feel better."
"Wzzut?" Spike tried to look up but his eyes were pretty swollen. As was his mouth, which didn't help with the speech coherency. "Clm? Zzatyoo?"
"Yeah, pal it's me. We managed to drag you back here. Gonna take a day or two to heal from this one I think. So the more blood, the faster that'll go. Man, you're looking..." Spike raised one eyebrow and looked at him through what little space he had between his eyelids.
"Uhm, you look fine, really. Just a little...ruffled. Yeah, ruffled's good. Here, drink up now."
Spike tried to sit up and took a few sips. "Pffff...whuhappend ?" he asked. "I rmember fighting."
"Yeah, and quite a lot of it too. You remember the Shybarii demon you beat?" Spike searched for a moment, then nodded. Clem patted him on the shoulder. "Well, his wife was there too."
Spike grimaced at the word then looked up again. "D' I win?" he asked sincerely. Then looked at himself lying on the bed and already figured the answer.
"Uhm....not so much." Clem said. Spike looked gave a low growl and sipped some more blood.
"But you uh, lasted a while. Really, it took at least 5 minutes of bouncing you off the walls before she was satisfie-" Spike glared at Clem before he could finish that particular word. Clem stopped and tried to smile.
"Oh pal, don't take it so hard. You won your earlier fights. And you know the female Shybarii are even bigger and badder than the males."
Spike grunted into his cup. "Yeah..sure 'nuff. If Spike gets trounced good an' proper it'll be a woman doin' the trouncin'. Story of my bloody life."
Clem frowned. "Oh come on now, there you go again, getting all bummed. I still say it wasn't that awful a thing what happened earlier tonight. Buffy DID tell you to move on. So maybe this Anya is not the most perfect choice being the Slayer's friend....and ex fiancée to the Slayer's OTHER friend...and then there was that camera thing, who'd have figured that one, which gave everyone a front row seat...and...."
Spike looked up at him. "Is the cheerful bit still comin' then?"
"All I'm saying is, looking at another girl could be a good idea. And ok, you did a little more than looking, but you know, you were both on the rebound. First step to moving on they say: rebound-sex." He nodded seriously.
Spike laughed wryly. "Movin' on...not movin' anywhere. Still right where I've been for a while now..on the ground, holding on to her ankle, getting dragged across the ground as she just strides on and barely knows I'm there. And the happiest moments in my p'thetic life are when she momentarily looks down and says 'oh there's something stuck to my boot, how bloody quaint'!"
Clem scratched his head as he didn't think he'd heard the Slayer use the word 'bloody' all that often but decided not to say anything.
"Oh you just drink that blood and have a good rest, and things will look better tomorrow. I'm just glad we got you out of there. I thought that Shybarii was going to kill you, or that, after she was done, some of the other demons maybe would. Fortunately there were those who felt they won their bets because you'd beaten her husband, and there were those who felt the fight with his wife should be included, in which case you lost and THEY won their bet....well, long story short everyone started hitting each other and in the confusion we managed to drag you out and get you back here. Well, you just have a yourself good rest. I gotta go, catch ya later pal."
Spike nodded. "Well thanks for that mate, an'....wait, did you say 'we'?"
"Oh, sorry, I thought you'd remember. Me and that friend of yours, Halfrek. The Vengeance demon."
Spike's mouth fell open. "Whu...."
"Yeah we talked a lot about you. She's pretty nice. And she was pretty interested in it all. Maybe you should consider dating HER eh?" Clem winked and chuckled as he walked out the door.
Spike stared at the wall with his mouth open for half a minute before snapping out of it.
"Bloody hell. I'm cursed. That's it, I'm just soddin' cursed."
** **
Anya didn't even hear the bell as the door to the Magic Shop opened. She was doing inventory and had gotten more and more annoyed at how little pleasure it brought her. If her financial success with the shop didn't lift her spirits, what was left? Sex? Almost funny, she thought.
"Anyanka?"
Anya put the books and the jar of toad livers down as she recognized the voice. She walked to the counter where Halfrek was smiling broadly at her.
"Hi Hallie." she said with little enthusiasm. She didn't exactly have any successful vengeance stories for her coworker.
"You naughty, naughty girl!" Halfrek said as she gave Anya's shoulder a little nudge. "It certainly WAS my cue to leave yesterday wasn't it? Niece work! Granted, this was not exactly according to the book, and there were no entrails involved, but as vengeance goes, you certainly still know to be creative!"
"What?" Anya tried to look confused although she already got what Halfrek was referring to.
"Oh now don't play coy with me. I'm talking about a certain activity with a certain blond vampiric gentleman last night? I didn't know you planned to 'use' him THAT way." Halfrek raised her eyebrows and grinned. "And to arrange for your ex-lover to see it...I have to tell you I'm a little in awe of you again. I see I'm going to have to work hard to keep up with you, if I want D'Hoffryn to even notice me."
Anya was flustered. "How did you..?"
"Oh, I had a little chat with one of said vampiric gentleman's friends. I know all about it. Veeery creative."
Anya hesitated. "Yes well....I thought it would be....and with the camera..." Then she shook her head. "Owww, no stop it! It was just spur of the moment! I didn't even know that stupid camera was there! And if I find those nerds who put it in that skull, I'm going to shove it up their geeky little butts!"
"You didn't know? Well, nice bonus then. Saved you the trouble of having Xander find out. Unless it ruined the moment you wanted to tell him yourself."
Anya sank onto the counter, leaning on her elbows. "Ahh it's just a big mess. I hurt Xander enormously, and after our confrontation I didn't feel any better at all."
Halfrek cleared her throat. "Well I'm assuming last night had you feeling a LITTLE better, hmmm?"
Anya looked at her. "What? Oh, you mean the sex with Spike. Well, it had it's...charm. I mean, he was pretty virile. And he did that manly thing where he wipes everything off the table before placing you on it, which really kind of worked for him. And did you know he smells really good?"
Halfrek shrugged in a non-committal way as she smiled and played with one of her curls.
Then Anya shook her head. "But, but afterwards nothing was better or changed, and then Xander came and we argued and I was so mad and he was so hurt and now I STILL don't feel better! I even stopped Spike from ." She stopped.
"Yes?" Halfrek asked, curious.
"Nothing, nothing. Everything's just a big mess. I still feel awful and I can't even imagine the amounts of cash I need to earn to make me feel better. And making big amounts of cash takes time! One of the few faults of capitalism!" She dropped her head in to her folded arms. Halfrek petted her on the head and smiled a knowing smile.
"There, there dear, don't worry. After all, you never know what the future might bring."
END OF PART TWO
TBC
R&R me up. Let's R&R.
CHAPTER 2: MORNING REGRETS
"Wzznhppenglmf?"
This had been the most coherent word out of Spike's mouth since they had arrived back at his crypt. He was lying on his bed looking not unlike a bruised pear that kids had kicked around the playground a little too much. Or Wile E. Coyote at the end of the cartoon, Clem thought. He envisioned Spike walking off a cliff, and not noticing until a few steps later, and then looking down and holding up a sign that said, 'bye bye' before he fell in to the ravine.that was kinda funny. Which reminded him to check if Spike's TV had Cartoon Network here.
"Blahbrmgfingnotsotuff.."
Clem shook out of his thoughts and brought Spike a cup of warm blood. He had put it in the microwave and was still wondering how his friend had managed to get electricity into the crypt. Comfy little place this had become, even though he'd said he had to redecorate after some explosion a few weeks ago.
"Here ya go pal, this will make you feel better."
"Wzzut?" Spike tried to look up but his eyes were pretty swollen. As was his mouth, which didn't help with the speech coherency. "Clm? Zzatyoo?"
"Yeah, pal it's me. We managed to drag you back here. Gonna take a day or two to heal from this one I think. So the more blood, the faster that'll go. Man, you're looking..." Spike raised one eyebrow and looked at him through what little space he had between his eyelids.
"Uhm, you look fine, really. Just a little...ruffled. Yeah, ruffled's good. Here, drink up now."
Spike tried to sit up and took a few sips. "Pffff...whuhappend ?" he asked. "I rmember fighting."
"Yeah, and quite a lot of it too. You remember the Shybarii demon you beat?" Spike searched for a moment, then nodded. Clem patted him on the shoulder. "Well, his wife was there too."
Spike grimaced at the word then looked up again. "D' I win?" he asked sincerely. Then looked at himself lying on the bed and already figured the answer.
"Uhm....not so much." Clem said. Spike looked gave a low growl and sipped some more blood.
"But you uh, lasted a while. Really, it took at least 5 minutes of bouncing you off the walls before she was satisfie-" Spike glared at Clem before he could finish that particular word. Clem stopped and tried to smile.
"Oh pal, don't take it so hard. You won your earlier fights. And you know the female Shybarii are even bigger and badder than the males."
Spike grunted into his cup. "Yeah..sure 'nuff. If Spike gets trounced good an' proper it'll be a woman doin' the trouncin'. Story of my bloody life."
Clem frowned. "Oh come on now, there you go again, getting all bummed. I still say it wasn't that awful a thing what happened earlier tonight. Buffy DID tell you to move on. So maybe this Anya is not the most perfect choice being the Slayer's friend....and ex fiancée to the Slayer's OTHER friend...and then there was that camera thing, who'd have figured that one, which gave everyone a front row seat...and...."
Spike looked up at him. "Is the cheerful bit still comin' then?"
"All I'm saying is, looking at another girl could be a good idea. And ok, you did a little more than looking, but you know, you were both on the rebound. First step to moving on they say: rebound-sex." He nodded seriously.
Spike laughed wryly. "Movin' on...not movin' anywhere. Still right where I've been for a while now..on the ground, holding on to her ankle, getting dragged across the ground as she just strides on and barely knows I'm there. And the happiest moments in my p'thetic life are when she momentarily looks down and says 'oh there's something stuck to my boot, how bloody quaint'!"
Clem scratched his head as he didn't think he'd heard the Slayer use the word 'bloody' all that often but decided not to say anything.
"Oh you just drink that blood and have a good rest, and things will look better tomorrow. I'm just glad we got you out of there. I thought that Shybarii was going to kill you, or that, after she was done, some of the other demons maybe would. Fortunately there were those who felt they won their bets because you'd beaten her husband, and there were those who felt the fight with his wife should be included, in which case you lost and THEY won their bet....well, long story short everyone started hitting each other and in the confusion we managed to drag you out and get you back here. Well, you just have a yourself good rest. I gotta go, catch ya later pal."
Spike nodded. "Well thanks for that mate, an'....wait, did you say 'we'?"
"Oh, sorry, I thought you'd remember. Me and that friend of yours, Halfrek. The Vengeance demon."
Spike's mouth fell open. "Whu...."
"Yeah we talked a lot about you. She's pretty nice. And she was pretty interested in it all. Maybe you should consider dating HER eh?" Clem winked and chuckled as he walked out the door.
Spike stared at the wall with his mouth open for half a minute before snapping out of it.
"Bloody hell. I'm cursed. That's it, I'm just soddin' cursed."
** **
Anya didn't even hear the bell as the door to the Magic Shop opened. She was doing inventory and had gotten more and more annoyed at how little pleasure it brought her. If her financial success with the shop didn't lift her spirits, what was left? Sex? Almost funny, she thought.
"Anyanka?"
Anya put the books and the jar of toad livers down as she recognized the voice. She walked to the counter where Halfrek was smiling broadly at her.
"Hi Hallie." she said with little enthusiasm. She didn't exactly have any successful vengeance stories for her coworker.
"You naughty, naughty girl!" Halfrek said as she gave Anya's shoulder a little nudge. "It certainly WAS my cue to leave yesterday wasn't it? Niece work! Granted, this was not exactly according to the book, and there were no entrails involved, but as vengeance goes, you certainly still know to be creative!"
"What?" Anya tried to look confused although she already got what Halfrek was referring to.
"Oh now don't play coy with me. I'm talking about a certain activity with a certain blond vampiric gentleman last night? I didn't know you planned to 'use' him THAT way." Halfrek raised her eyebrows and grinned. "And to arrange for your ex-lover to see it...I have to tell you I'm a little in awe of you again. I see I'm going to have to work hard to keep up with you, if I want D'Hoffryn to even notice me."
Anya was flustered. "How did you..?"
"Oh, I had a little chat with one of said vampiric gentleman's friends. I know all about it. Veeery creative."
Anya hesitated. "Yes well....I thought it would be....and with the camera..." Then she shook her head. "Owww, no stop it! It was just spur of the moment! I didn't even know that stupid camera was there! And if I find those nerds who put it in that skull, I'm going to shove it up their geeky little butts!"
"You didn't know? Well, nice bonus then. Saved you the trouble of having Xander find out. Unless it ruined the moment you wanted to tell him yourself."
Anya sank onto the counter, leaning on her elbows. "Ahh it's just a big mess. I hurt Xander enormously, and after our confrontation I didn't feel any better at all."
Halfrek cleared her throat. "Well I'm assuming last night had you feeling a LITTLE better, hmmm?"
Anya looked at her. "What? Oh, you mean the sex with Spike. Well, it had it's...charm. I mean, he was pretty virile. And he did that manly thing where he wipes everything off the table before placing you on it, which really kind of worked for him. And did you know he smells really good?"
Halfrek shrugged in a non-committal way as she smiled and played with one of her curls.
Then Anya shook her head. "But, but afterwards nothing was better or changed, and then Xander came and we argued and I was so mad and he was so hurt and now I STILL don't feel better! I even stopped Spike from ." She stopped.
"Yes?" Halfrek asked, curious.
"Nothing, nothing. Everything's just a big mess. I still feel awful and I can't even imagine the amounts of cash I need to earn to make me feel better. And making big amounts of cash takes time! One of the few faults of capitalism!" She dropped her head in to her folded arms. Halfrek petted her on the head and smiled a knowing smile.
"There, there dear, don't worry. After all, you never know what the future might bring."
END OF PART TWO
TBC
R&R me up. Let's R&R.
