FOOLS FOR LIFE:
CHAPTER 5: FAILED ATTEMPTS
"I wish, I-I just wish he..."
"Yes? Yes?" Halfrek's voice had a slight tremble with anticipation. In 3 days she'd gotten little work done. Ventriloquist girl had been a bust. And at the Sunnydale high school pickings were slim. Everyone was way too happy lately.
"I just wish that, that...."
"What? What??" Halfrek's fists clenched together, she really needed to make her quota.
"That his-his precious toupee would just, just BLOW OFF. Right in the street!"
Fists relaxed as Halfrek's entire body deflated. "Toupee? That's it? He gets your boyfriend's dad fired, so they move to another state just to break you up and this is the worst you can wish on him??"
They girl looked at her, a little confused.
"Fine! Done! Why do I even bother! Couldn't get a decent 'feed him to the worms' wish out of you people if I spelled it out on a chalk board. Not even a simple 'off with his head", and not that THAT would score me any major points mind you, but at least it would RESEMBLE revenge. But no, fine, his toupee it is! Hope you're happy!"
The girl looked at her with more than a little worry and fear now. She got up from their table and backed away. "You're freaky , lady. You in some kind of cult or something?"
Halfrek looked at her, rather indignantly. She gave a fake smile. "Yes, that's right. The cult of toupee-blowing actually. Care to join?" Then her demonic face shimmered through for a split second as she snarled. "I'm sure you'd make an EXCELLENT member!"
The girl looked at her in astonishment, gave a sound that was not unlike 'eep!' and ran to the door.
"That's right, run off to daddy!" Halfrek called after her. She leaned on the table and gave a sigh of frustration. This was not going well. And Anyanka had gotten a major revenge moment without even half-trying. Wasn't fair. Soon it would be like the old days, with her slaving to get any attention from D'Hoffryn, while to Anyanka it was always so easy. They were friends, but still...
"Look like you need a drink, luv." She heard through the sound of wood scraping the floor as a chair was pulled up. Spike sat down and signaled a waitress.
** **
"I can do this, I can do this...."
Willow strained as she struggled with her task. Timing was essential. Precision and balance needed to be perfect or all would be lost. If her concentration wasn't a full 100%.........
"Hi Willow, whachoo doing?" Dawn said behind her.
Willow gave a tiny yelp as the voice startled her, and a good extra dose of oregano went into the sauce as her hand jerked.
"Ahhhh nooo."
"Something wrong?" Dawn looked over her shoulder into the pan.
"Ah nothing Dawnie, nothing. I'm.....I'm trying to cook. It's this really special sauce that Tara likes at our favorite restaurant and that's really hard to make, and...well I wanted to surprise her with it. In the sense that it's also a bit of therapy for me, doing this like a normal person. You know, while suppressing all my urges to...."
She hesitated. Dawn smiled and finished Willow's line. "To just wave your hand and have the whole restaurant appear in our living room?"
Willow pulled her lip in. "Something like that."
"So how's that working out for ya?"
Willow stared at the dubious looking gob in the pan that already had a color it wasn't supposed to have even before the oregano measuring went awry.
"Oh fine.....Like I'm trying to paint a Rembrandt by dipping my butt in paint and rubbing it on the canvas!"
Dawn giggled. "Maybe you should try it with your left foot. Get it? 'Left foot'!"
Willow looked at her with a sad droopy face. "I get it."
Dawn sighed and gave her a hug. "Oww it's not so bad. You know Tara would love you for just making her a peanut butter sandwich!"
"Yeah but it's not the same. I wanted to surprise her. Which I still can I suppose..." She looked at the contents of the pan again. "Next time her car needs an oil change or something."
Dawn giggled again. "So, surprise her with heart-shaped peanut butter sandwiches! With jelly!"
Willow looked at Dawn and raised her eyebrows.
"AND chocolate syrup! Dawn added.
A smile slowly broke on Willow's face.
"Alright, AND pickles on top, but I really think you should stop there!" Dawn mock-seriously added.
Willow was laughing now. "Okay, okay, I got it, I got it. What are you being so happy about anyway?"
Dawn pulled her shoulders up and smiled widely. "I'm just so happy you guys are back together again!!" And she added a little jump for emphasis. "Anyway, let me know how that works out. I gotta go now. Janice called, we're going to hang out. I'm meeting her at the mall."
Willow hesitated. "Ah, the....mall?"
Dawn pulled a face. "Yes, the mall. Not my idea. I wanted to pull a bank job, but Janice opted for the jewelry heist."
Willow sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean to sound like that....it's just......you know....."
"Yeah I know. I'll be fine. I have my own 'therapy' things to work through. Like picking out a lipstick I intend to pay for."
For a moment they looked at each other. "You know?"
Willow nodded. "I know."
Dawn grinned. "I know you know."
"And I know you know I know." Willow upped, grinning wider.
"And I know you know I know-"
Then Willow's sauce started smoking a bit and she quickly got the pan off the stove. "Oww yuck, scratch even the oil change plan." She looked at Dawn again still slightly grinning. "Ok I'll tell Buffy where you went. Now off with you, ya thieving wench!" Dawn laughed and walked out the door. Just as she closed it she called back: "Thanks, ya wicked witch!"
Willow filled the pan with water in the sink, smiling and shaking her head. 'Well at least we can laugh and make bad jokes about our problems again. A good sign.' Of course it had been easy for her to laugh now that she and Tara had made up. It was like she had the other half of her whole being back. She still had the shakes at night, every now and then, but now Tara was there to hold her and it made all the difference. It had been so bad without her, even though she'd still seen her around and Willow had always had some hope she'd somehow get her back. She didn't know what she'd do if she'd ever think she'd lost her forever...go off the deep end probably.
"Hey Will, wachoo doing?" Buffy said behind her as she entered the kitchen.
Willow looked in the pot, the goo now mixed with water and detergent, and smiled. "Well last time someone asked that question, I could still pretend I was making an haute cuisine sauce, but now....."
Like Dawn had before, Buffy looked over her shoulder. "Ew, what kind of sauce? Evil and demonic?"
Willow sighed again. "Something like that. It had to be destroyed."
Buffy patted her on the back and walked to the fridge. "Darn Hellmouth. Won't even stay out of our kitchen. Or our streets, I just saw the weirdest and funniest thing: there was this guy chasing his toupee, and he just couldn't get it. It just kept going, right out of his reach. But the weird thing was, there was no wind or anything. Oh well as long as it doesn't turn around and try to eat him, I'm staying out of it." She chuckled.
"By the way, where's Dawn?"
"Oh, at the mall with some friends."
Buffy paused with the fridge door open. "Oh. The .....mall?"
Willow gave her a crooked smile. "We've already covered that. She's not pulling a bank job, just a jewelry heist."
Buffy scratched her head. "Ah.....I see. Well that's a relief." She paused. "Ooh fine, I'm being too careful. But all this happened because I wasn't paying enough attention. It's hard to figure out what the correct amount is."
Willow scrubbed hard in the pan. "Yeah, welcome to parenthood 101. No tests will be given, just start in the field."
Buffy paused again and her face took on a serious look. "Well, I didn't.....just mean Dawn."
Willow stopped scrubbing and turned around. "Buffy, don't be silly. I'm an adult, I'm responsible for my own actions. No one told me to turn all junkie and make a mess of things, and it didn't happen because you weren't busy being my mom." "No," Buffy answered, "but I could have seen what was happening, with you, between you and Tara, and perhaps made a difference as a caring friend before things got so ugly, if I hadn't....if I hadn't..."
Willow looked in her eyes and gave a thin smile. "If you hadn't been caught up in your own guilty little secret?"
Buffy stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I was going to say if I hadn't had my head so far up my own butt actually, but...yeah...."
An uncomfortable silence fell.
The Talk of the Sex with Spike...it was overdue.
TBC!
Arright..R&R me...
CHAPTER 5: FAILED ATTEMPTS
"I wish, I-I just wish he..."
"Yes? Yes?" Halfrek's voice had a slight tremble with anticipation. In 3 days she'd gotten little work done. Ventriloquist girl had been a bust. And at the Sunnydale high school pickings were slim. Everyone was way too happy lately.
"I just wish that, that...."
"What? What??" Halfrek's fists clenched together, she really needed to make her quota.
"That his-his precious toupee would just, just BLOW OFF. Right in the street!"
Fists relaxed as Halfrek's entire body deflated. "Toupee? That's it? He gets your boyfriend's dad fired, so they move to another state just to break you up and this is the worst you can wish on him??"
They girl looked at her, a little confused.
"Fine! Done! Why do I even bother! Couldn't get a decent 'feed him to the worms' wish out of you people if I spelled it out on a chalk board. Not even a simple 'off with his head", and not that THAT would score me any major points mind you, but at least it would RESEMBLE revenge. But no, fine, his toupee it is! Hope you're happy!"
The girl looked at her with more than a little worry and fear now. She got up from their table and backed away. "You're freaky , lady. You in some kind of cult or something?"
Halfrek looked at her, rather indignantly. She gave a fake smile. "Yes, that's right. The cult of toupee-blowing actually. Care to join?" Then her demonic face shimmered through for a split second as she snarled. "I'm sure you'd make an EXCELLENT member!"
The girl looked at her in astonishment, gave a sound that was not unlike 'eep!' and ran to the door.
"That's right, run off to daddy!" Halfrek called after her. She leaned on the table and gave a sigh of frustration. This was not going well. And Anyanka had gotten a major revenge moment without even half-trying. Wasn't fair. Soon it would be like the old days, with her slaving to get any attention from D'Hoffryn, while to Anyanka it was always so easy. They were friends, but still...
"Look like you need a drink, luv." She heard through the sound of wood scraping the floor as a chair was pulled up. Spike sat down and signaled a waitress.
** **
"I can do this, I can do this...."
Willow strained as she struggled with her task. Timing was essential. Precision and balance needed to be perfect or all would be lost. If her concentration wasn't a full 100%.........
"Hi Willow, whachoo doing?" Dawn said behind her.
Willow gave a tiny yelp as the voice startled her, and a good extra dose of oregano went into the sauce as her hand jerked.
"Ahhhh nooo."
"Something wrong?" Dawn looked over her shoulder into the pan.
"Ah nothing Dawnie, nothing. I'm.....I'm trying to cook. It's this really special sauce that Tara likes at our favorite restaurant and that's really hard to make, and...well I wanted to surprise her with it. In the sense that it's also a bit of therapy for me, doing this like a normal person. You know, while suppressing all my urges to...."
She hesitated. Dawn smiled and finished Willow's line. "To just wave your hand and have the whole restaurant appear in our living room?"
Willow pulled her lip in. "Something like that."
"So how's that working out for ya?"
Willow stared at the dubious looking gob in the pan that already had a color it wasn't supposed to have even before the oregano measuring went awry.
"Oh fine.....Like I'm trying to paint a Rembrandt by dipping my butt in paint and rubbing it on the canvas!"
Dawn giggled. "Maybe you should try it with your left foot. Get it? 'Left foot'!"
Willow looked at her with a sad droopy face. "I get it."
Dawn sighed and gave her a hug. "Oww it's not so bad. You know Tara would love you for just making her a peanut butter sandwich!"
"Yeah but it's not the same. I wanted to surprise her. Which I still can I suppose..." She looked at the contents of the pan again. "Next time her car needs an oil change or something."
Dawn giggled again. "So, surprise her with heart-shaped peanut butter sandwiches! With jelly!"
Willow looked at Dawn and raised her eyebrows.
"AND chocolate syrup! Dawn added.
A smile slowly broke on Willow's face.
"Alright, AND pickles on top, but I really think you should stop there!" Dawn mock-seriously added.
Willow was laughing now. "Okay, okay, I got it, I got it. What are you being so happy about anyway?"
Dawn pulled her shoulders up and smiled widely. "I'm just so happy you guys are back together again!!" And she added a little jump for emphasis. "Anyway, let me know how that works out. I gotta go now. Janice called, we're going to hang out. I'm meeting her at the mall."
Willow hesitated. "Ah, the....mall?"
Dawn pulled a face. "Yes, the mall. Not my idea. I wanted to pull a bank job, but Janice opted for the jewelry heist."
Willow sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean to sound like that....it's just......you know....."
"Yeah I know. I'll be fine. I have my own 'therapy' things to work through. Like picking out a lipstick I intend to pay for."
For a moment they looked at each other. "You know?"
Willow nodded. "I know."
Dawn grinned. "I know you know."
"And I know you know I know." Willow upped, grinning wider.
"And I know you know I know-"
Then Willow's sauce started smoking a bit and she quickly got the pan off the stove. "Oww yuck, scratch even the oil change plan." She looked at Dawn again still slightly grinning. "Ok I'll tell Buffy where you went. Now off with you, ya thieving wench!" Dawn laughed and walked out the door. Just as she closed it she called back: "Thanks, ya wicked witch!"
Willow filled the pan with water in the sink, smiling and shaking her head. 'Well at least we can laugh and make bad jokes about our problems again. A good sign.' Of course it had been easy for her to laugh now that she and Tara had made up. It was like she had the other half of her whole being back. She still had the shakes at night, every now and then, but now Tara was there to hold her and it made all the difference. It had been so bad without her, even though she'd still seen her around and Willow had always had some hope she'd somehow get her back. She didn't know what she'd do if she'd ever think she'd lost her forever...go off the deep end probably.
"Hey Will, wachoo doing?" Buffy said behind her as she entered the kitchen.
Willow looked in the pot, the goo now mixed with water and detergent, and smiled. "Well last time someone asked that question, I could still pretend I was making an haute cuisine sauce, but now....."
Like Dawn had before, Buffy looked over her shoulder. "Ew, what kind of sauce? Evil and demonic?"
Willow sighed again. "Something like that. It had to be destroyed."
Buffy patted her on the back and walked to the fridge. "Darn Hellmouth. Won't even stay out of our kitchen. Or our streets, I just saw the weirdest and funniest thing: there was this guy chasing his toupee, and he just couldn't get it. It just kept going, right out of his reach. But the weird thing was, there was no wind or anything. Oh well as long as it doesn't turn around and try to eat him, I'm staying out of it." She chuckled.
"By the way, where's Dawn?"
"Oh, at the mall with some friends."
Buffy paused with the fridge door open. "Oh. The .....mall?"
Willow gave her a crooked smile. "We've already covered that. She's not pulling a bank job, just a jewelry heist."
Buffy scratched her head. "Ah.....I see. Well that's a relief." She paused. "Ooh fine, I'm being too careful. But all this happened because I wasn't paying enough attention. It's hard to figure out what the correct amount is."
Willow scrubbed hard in the pan. "Yeah, welcome to parenthood 101. No tests will be given, just start in the field."
Buffy paused again and her face took on a serious look. "Well, I didn't.....just mean Dawn."
Willow stopped scrubbing and turned around. "Buffy, don't be silly. I'm an adult, I'm responsible for my own actions. No one told me to turn all junkie and make a mess of things, and it didn't happen because you weren't busy being my mom." "No," Buffy answered, "but I could have seen what was happening, with you, between you and Tara, and perhaps made a difference as a caring friend before things got so ugly, if I hadn't....if I hadn't..."
Willow looked in her eyes and gave a thin smile. "If you hadn't been caught up in your own guilty little secret?"
Buffy stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I was going to say if I hadn't had my head so far up my own butt actually, but...yeah...."
An uncomfortable silence fell.
The Talk of the Sex with Spike...it was overdue.
TBC!
Arright..R&R me...
