Disclaimer: No characters belong to me, and the song doesn't either.

Draco stood in front of the mirror, standing in his boxers, admiring himself. He liked his finger, put it on his chest and made a sizzle noise. 'Oh, yeah! Looking gooood for another day of class!' He skipped over to Potions, feeling superior and, well, just plain sexy. He then got an idea. Why not make Potions a bit more... interesting today?

He went to Snape's desk, asking him if he could do with he planned. Snape looked at him, with a look that said, No, now piss off. 'I'll tell my father about this!' Draco snapped. Snape rolled his eyes and said, 'Oh alright then, but make it quick!' Draco clapped his hands in an exciting way.

When the Gryffindors came into the room, they couldn't believe what they saw. Disco-balls, spotlights, smoke machines, balloons, you name the party things, it was there. 'Sit down already!' Snape yelled, standing in the middle of the classroom, wearing a bunnysuit and holding a microphone. The Gryffindors were so shocked they just did that.

'And now, whores and pimps, the man you've all been waiting for, Draco Malfoy!!' Snape announced in a bored voice. Lights flashed, a strange guitar solo was heard and Draco suddenly appeared, wearing a top hat and a tuxedo.

'Girl, I wanna take you to a gaybar!!' He growled, looking seductive. *I wanna take you to a gaybar!! I wanna take you to a gaybar, gaybar, gaybar!!* The whole class could just stare. *Let's start a war!! Start a nuclear war!' Upon saying this, he ripped off his shirt, revealing his Quidditch muscles. 'At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!!!' Another strange guitar solo, he started dancing wildly, humping a few disturbed students. Snape rolled his eyes, wondering how long the song would last.

'Now tell me, do ya...' Draco crawled over Ron's table. 'Do you have any money?! I wanna spend all your money!!' Ron fainted. Draco shrugged and ripped off his pants, revealing a green thong with silver glitters. 'At the GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!!' The sound ended, and everyone sighed with relief, thinking the song was over. Another guitar solo made this thought end.

'I've got something to put in you!!' Draco winked at Harry, who was blushing like hell.

'For Gods sakes!' Snape pulled out the plug and the song and all the flashlights suddenly stopped. 'Hey!!!* Draco yelled, 'Its not over yet!!' Snape shrugged and threw the plug on the ground. 'Today, we will be ma- ARGH!' Draco had hit him on the head with a potions bottle making him knocked out. He plugged it back in, the lights flashed again and continued his strange act.

'I've got something to put in you!! I've got something to put in you!!' He started to make disco moves, Saturday Night Fever style. 'At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!' He sung. 'You're a superstar... At the gay bar... You're a superstar... At the gay bar... YEAH you're a superstar at the gay bar, You're a superstar! At the gay bar! Superstar!' The song ended, Draco was standing with one hand in the air, index finger out, like John Travolta.

A long silence. Everyone could do nothing more than stare. Draco looked around. 'Argh! You don't understand the fine art of disco dancing!' He stormed off in his top hat and glittery green thong.

~~ Ho ho ho! That was weird! Review please; it'll make Draco feeling even sexier! Yes, even if you don't like Draco.~~