Waiting for Minako
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
Part Twentyone - The Plot
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Scene: The Hikawa shrine. The Sailorsenshi gather with grim
expressions, drying tears on their faces.
Moon: It looks like this will be our last fight.
Jupiter: Yes. But just remember what Luna and Artemis told
us - There Can Be Only One.
They stare at each other for several minutes. A wind blows some
leaves between them. Then suddenly, they burst out laughing.
Mars: Ah, I couldn't be bothered.
Mercury: You are right. This is all bullshit.
Jupiter: Anyone for a pint at the local? I'm thirsty.
Moon: I'm in for that.
Venus: What about the cats? What shall we do with them?
Jupiter: Screw them. Dumb cats. Leave us to do all the hard
work, then dump THIS on us.
Venus: Hmmm.... So it's alright if I leave Artemis at the
bottom of the river?
Moon: What? You dumped your cat down there, too?
Venus: Well, I couldn't think of anything else....
Mercury: By the way, Venus, shouldn't you be missing?
Venus: Damn.... Forgot about that.
Venus sneaks away, watched by the others.
Mercury: And you, Sailormoon, you should be dead, in Hades,
chasing Mokona with a mallet.
Moon: Aww.... I really wanna drink.
Mars: Let her.... This fic is hard work for us.
Jupiter: YOU can talk. You've barely appeared in it.
Mars: Hey, I've got a scene coming up.
Jupiter: A scene. A scene. Listen, girl, I've been in this thing
from the start. Don't you talk to me about "scenes".
Mercury: Alright, alright.... That's enough.... Does anyone know
where the local establishment is?
Scene: Ami and Makoto, in a darkish room, in the middle of a strange
private hospital. Ami is dressed in a skimpy swimsuit, covered over
by a jacket, and Makoto is wearing a large trenchcoat, hiding what
she is wearing underneath, and a pair of shades. She is also
holding onto the power cord of the photocopier that Ami is sitting
on.
Just then, a giant hedgehog rises from behind the photocopier,
causing the pair to wet themselves.
S.N.: D I N S D A L E !
Ami: Straight ahead, then the door on your left.
Makoto: He's been looking for you.... So please go see him.
Hayaku!
They wave the hedgehog away, who disappears quickly. Watching him
leave, they breathe a sigh of relief.
Ami: Evil thing. Frightened me before.
Makoto: Hmm? When?
Ami: Mmm?
Makoto: When?
Ami: Before.
Makoto: WHEN before?
Ami: .....
Makoto: Don't tell me you can't remember....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: I can't remember.
Makoto: I said not to tell me.
Meanwhile, in Tokyo, Rei and Chibiusa have grabbed hold of Mamoru's
arms, and are using him in a tug of war.
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Just then, Mamoru tears in half. Rei and Chibiusa stare at the
woolen stuffing that comes flying out of their respective halves
with surprise.
Rei: He's not real.
Chibiusa: It's a rag doll....
Rei: Where has the real Mamoru gone. With Usagi dead, I've
never had a better opportunity....
Chibiusa: What do you mean, YOU've never had a better opportunity?
Rei: .....
Chibiusa: .....
Rei: He's your old man.
Chibiusa: So?
Rei: And you're too young for that sort of thing.
Chibiusa; So?
Rei: .....
Chibiusa: .....
Rei: You're one twisted little girl, you know that?
Chibiusa: Why not? I'm the most hated person since Wesley
Crusher.
Rei: True.
Chibiusa: And Neelix.
Rei: Neelix?
Chibiusa: Neelix.
Rei: ....
Chibiusa: ....
Rei: Who is Neelix?
Chibiusa: Didn't you ever watch "Voyager"?
Rei: No. Did anyone?
Chibiusa: ....
Rei: ....
Chibiusa: I didn't say that.
Behind a brick wall, overlooking this scene, Mamoru is in hiding,
Haruka and Michiru with him.
Mamoru: I knew something like this would happen. Why did Usako
have to die?
Michiru: Don't worry, Chiba-san. I'll look after you....
Mamoru swallows as Michiru takes his hand and starts nuzzling
against it. She is immediately bapped over the head by Haruka.
Michiru: What was THAT for?
Haruka: You KNOW what that was for.
Michiru: Haruka, you have forced me to punish you.
Haruka: Uh oh....
Meanwhile, back at the hospital....
Ami: My memory appears to have flown the coop.
Makoto: Oh, come on.... You must remember how you got here.
Ami: I was blown here by a Gekigan Beam.
Makoto: No, not that.
Ami: Well, it WAS how I got HERE.
Makoto: I'm talking about all of this. How did this start?
Ami: We were on a beach in Queensland.
Makoto: No.... We weren't on a beach in Queensland.
Ami: Yes we were.
Makoto: I KNOW we were.... But we shouldn't have been.
Ami: But we were, and you can't refute the fact.
Makoto: I'm not refuting the fact.
Ami: You said we shouldn't have been on a beach in
Queensland.
Makoto: That's because we shouldn't have been.
Ami: But we were.
Makoto: Think back further than that.
Ami: How far back?
Makoto: Not that far back.
Ami: Back to when Usagi and Mamoru broke up for the
seventeenth time this month?
Makoto: No, not that far back.
Ami: How far back, then?
Makoto: Back to what we were doing before we ended up on the
beach in Queensland.
Ami: We were on holiday.
Makoto: On holiday WHERE?
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Hawaii?
Makoto: Bingo.
Ami: What were we doing there?
Makoto: We were on holiday.
Ami: Yes, but what were we on holiday from?
Makoto: We were waiting.
Ami: For what?
Makoto: We were waiting for someone.
Ami: For who?
Makoto: For WHOM.... For WHOM.... You're supposed to be the
genius in languages.
Ami: Makes me wonder why you knew the true pronunciation,
then.
Makoto: I've been hanging around you for too long.
Ami: Yes, indeed. Something had to rub off. I became more
stupid, thanks to you.
Makoto: Are you calling me stupid?
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Well, that's alright, then. But it still doesn't answer
the question....
Ami: Whom we were waiting for?
Makoto: Of course.
Ami: We both know who it was.
Makoto: I KNOW we know who it is.
Ami: Minako, of course.
There is a soft, echoing, high-pitched giggle, and the pair stare
around, looking for the source.
Makoto: I think.... she might be the cause of all this.
Ami: Are you trying to tell me that Minako is the cause of
all this.
Another giggle.
Makoto: It has occured to me, yes.
Ami: But HOW? I mean, she can't even work her way through a
half-decent quotation, let alone organise this kind of
charade.
Makoto: Perhaps that's what she WANTED us to think.
Ami: Are you trying to tell me that Minako is a villain?
Makoto: She always was.
Ami: In what way?
Makoto: Her ditziness was a crime against humanity. Nobody
should be allowed to be as stupid as she was, and live.
Ami: Look, just because she doesn't have a high enough
intelligence quotient to be considered a sentient form
of life does not mean she shouldn't have a right to
live. I mean, there are plenty of lifeforms more stupid
than she is.
Makoto: Like what?
Ami: Moss comes to mind. Lichen.... Fungi....
Makoto: Mushrooms AND puffballs?
Ami: Of course.
Makoto: What about slime mold?
Ami: Oh, especially slime mold. In fact, I think she's
descended from a lower-class form of slime mold.
Makoto: Oh no.... Poor slime.
Ami: Makes me wanna throw up, just thinking about it.
Makoto: How could we have ever befriended such a monster?
Ami: Well, she walked up one day and said "hi, I'm
Sailorvenus. Mind if I join you"....
Makoto: And we agreed....
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Damn! I wonder if they're casting for Brain Powerd,
yet. I want outta this place....
Ami: Can't.
Makoto: Why not?
Ami: You don't have a three inch waistline.
Makoto: Bugger.
Meanwhile, in Hades, Usagi is in hot pursuit of the Almighty Bunny-
Thing of Doom.
Usagi: MATTE!
Mokona: Pu! ^_^
As Mokona approaches a street corner, Ryuzaki Umi appears, also
holding a large mallet.
Umi: So, Mokona.... You thought you could get away from me
by hiding in Hades, did you?
Mokona: Pu! O_O
Mokona comes to a screeching halt as Usagi and Umi come charging in
from both directions....
END OF PART 21
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^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Will Mokona be served up as pancakes? Will Mamoru escape the tender
ministrations of Rei and Chibiusa? How will Michiru punish Haruka?
Is Minako behind any of this? Shall Ami and Makoto discover the
truth behind their odyssey? For the answers to these questions
(just possibly) read the next dropping.... I mean installment of
"Waiting for Minako". This is NOT a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a
drill.... This is pseudoreality.... in the off season.
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@internode.on.net
/\ It's not the World Wide Web that scares me,
\/ \/ it's the Spider that built it.
\___________/
/_/ \_\ PU
SNERG 1.1 - Saturday, 18th May 2002
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
Part Twentyone - The Plot
--------------------------------------------------------------------
^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: The Hikawa shrine. The Sailorsenshi gather with grim
expressions, drying tears on their faces.
Moon: It looks like this will be our last fight.
Jupiter: Yes. But just remember what Luna and Artemis told
us - There Can Be Only One.
They stare at each other for several minutes. A wind blows some
leaves between them. Then suddenly, they burst out laughing.
Mars: Ah, I couldn't be bothered.
Mercury: You are right. This is all bullshit.
Jupiter: Anyone for a pint at the local? I'm thirsty.
Moon: I'm in for that.
Venus: What about the cats? What shall we do with them?
Jupiter: Screw them. Dumb cats. Leave us to do all the hard
work, then dump THIS on us.
Venus: Hmmm.... So it's alright if I leave Artemis at the
bottom of the river?
Moon: What? You dumped your cat down there, too?
Venus: Well, I couldn't think of anything else....
Mercury: By the way, Venus, shouldn't you be missing?
Venus: Damn.... Forgot about that.
Venus sneaks away, watched by the others.
Mercury: And you, Sailormoon, you should be dead, in Hades,
chasing Mokona with a mallet.
Moon: Aww.... I really wanna drink.
Mars: Let her.... This fic is hard work for us.
Jupiter: YOU can talk. You've barely appeared in it.
Mars: Hey, I've got a scene coming up.
Jupiter: A scene. A scene. Listen, girl, I've been in this thing
from the start. Don't you talk to me about "scenes".
Mercury: Alright, alright.... That's enough.... Does anyone know
where the local establishment is?
Scene: Ami and Makoto, in a darkish room, in the middle of a strange
private hospital. Ami is dressed in a skimpy swimsuit, covered over
by a jacket, and Makoto is wearing a large trenchcoat, hiding what
she is wearing underneath, and a pair of shades. She is also
holding onto the power cord of the photocopier that Ami is sitting
on.
Just then, a giant hedgehog rises from behind the photocopier,
causing the pair to wet themselves.
S.N.: D I N S D A L E !
Ami: Straight ahead, then the door on your left.
Makoto: He's been looking for you.... So please go see him.
Hayaku!
They wave the hedgehog away, who disappears quickly. Watching him
leave, they breathe a sigh of relief.
Ami: Evil thing. Frightened me before.
Makoto: Hmm? When?
Ami: Mmm?
Makoto: When?
Ami: Before.
Makoto: WHEN before?
Ami: .....
Makoto: Don't tell me you can't remember....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: I can't remember.
Makoto: I said not to tell me.
Meanwhile, in Tokyo, Rei and Chibiusa have grabbed hold of Mamoru's
arms, and are using him in a tug of war.
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Rei: Mine!
Chibiusa: Mine!
Just then, Mamoru tears in half. Rei and Chibiusa stare at the
woolen stuffing that comes flying out of their respective halves
with surprise.
Rei: He's not real.
Chibiusa: It's a rag doll....
Rei: Where has the real Mamoru gone. With Usagi dead, I've
never had a better opportunity....
Chibiusa: What do you mean, YOU've never had a better opportunity?
Rei: .....
Chibiusa: .....
Rei: He's your old man.
Chibiusa: So?
Rei: And you're too young for that sort of thing.
Chibiusa; So?
Rei: .....
Chibiusa: .....
Rei: You're one twisted little girl, you know that?
Chibiusa: Why not? I'm the most hated person since Wesley
Crusher.
Rei: True.
Chibiusa: And Neelix.
Rei: Neelix?
Chibiusa: Neelix.
Rei: ....
Chibiusa: ....
Rei: Who is Neelix?
Chibiusa: Didn't you ever watch "Voyager"?
Rei: No. Did anyone?
Chibiusa: ....
Rei: ....
Chibiusa: I didn't say that.
Behind a brick wall, overlooking this scene, Mamoru is in hiding,
Haruka and Michiru with him.
Mamoru: I knew something like this would happen. Why did Usako
have to die?
Michiru: Don't worry, Chiba-san. I'll look after you....
Mamoru swallows as Michiru takes his hand and starts nuzzling
against it. She is immediately bapped over the head by Haruka.
Michiru: What was THAT for?
Haruka: You KNOW what that was for.
Michiru: Haruka, you have forced me to punish you.
Haruka: Uh oh....
Meanwhile, back at the hospital....
Ami: My memory appears to have flown the coop.
Makoto: Oh, come on.... You must remember how you got here.
Ami: I was blown here by a Gekigan Beam.
Makoto: No, not that.
Ami: Well, it WAS how I got HERE.
Makoto: I'm talking about all of this. How did this start?
Ami: We were on a beach in Queensland.
Makoto: No.... We weren't on a beach in Queensland.
Ami: Yes we were.
Makoto: I KNOW we were.... But we shouldn't have been.
Ami: But we were, and you can't refute the fact.
Makoto: I'm not refuting the fact.
Ami: You said we shouldn't have been on a beach in
Queensland.
Makoto: That's because we shouldn't have been.
Ami: But we were.
Makoto: Think back further than that.
Ami: How far back?
Makoto: Not that far back.
Ami: Back to when Usagi and Mamoru broke up for the
seventeenth time this month?
Makoto: No, not that far back.
Ami: How far back, then?
Makoto: Back to what we were doing before we ended up on the
beach in Queensland.
Ami: We were on holiday.
Makoto: On holiday WHERE?
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Hawaii?
Makoto: Bingo.
Ami: What were we doing there?
Makoto: We were on holiday.
Ami: Yes, but what were we on holiday from?
Makoto: We were waiting.
Ami: For what?
Makoto: We were waiting for someone.
Ami: For who?
Makoto: For WHOM.... For WHOM.... You're supposed to be the
genius in languages.
Ami: Makes me wonder why you knew the true pronunciation,
then.
Makoto: I've been hanging around you for too long.
Ami: Yes, indeed. Something had to rub off. I became more
stupid, thanks to you.
Makoto: Are you calling me stupid?
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Well, that's alright, then. But it still doesn't answer
the question....
Ami: Whom we were waiting for?
Makoto: Of course.
Ami: We both know who it was.
Makoto: I KNOW we know who it is.
Ami: Minako, of course.
There is a soft, echoing, high-pitched giggle, and the pair stare
around, looking for the source.
Makoto: I think.... she might be the cause of all this.
Ami: Are you trying to tell me that Minako is the cause of
all this.
Another giggle.
Makoto: It has occured to me, yes.
Ami: But HOW? I mean, she can't even work her way through a
half-decent quotation, let alone organise this kind of
charade.
Makoto: Perhaps that's what she WANTED us to think.
Ami: Are you trying to tell me that Minako is a villain?
Makoto: She always was.
Ami: In what way?
Makoto: Her ditziness was a crime against humanity. Nobody
should be allowed to be as stupid as she was, and live.
Ami: Look, just because she doesn't have a high enough
intelligence quotient to be considered a sentient form
of life does not mean she shouldn't have a right to
live. I mean, there are plenty of lifeforms more stupid
than she is.
Makoto: Like what?
Ami: Moss comes to mind. Lichen.... Fungi....
Makoto: Mushrooms AND puffballs?
Ami: Of course.
Makoto: What about slime mold?
Ami: Oh, especially slime mold. In fact, I think she's
descended from a lower-class form of slime mold.
Makoto: Oh no.... Poor slime.
Ami: Makes me wanna throw up, just thinking about it.
Makoto: How could we have ever befriended such a monster?
Ami: Well, she walked up one day and said "hi, I'm
Sailorvenus. Mind if I join you"....
Makoto: And we agreed....
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Damn! I wonder if they're casting for Brain Powerd,
yet. I want outta this place....
Ami: Can't.
Makoto: Why not?
Ami: You don't have a three inch waistline.
Makoto: Bugger.
Meanwhile, in Hades, Usagi is in hot pursuit of the Almighty Bunny-
Thing of Doom.
Usagi: MATTE!
Mokona: Pu! ^_^
As Mokona approaches a street corner, Ryuzaki Umi appears, also
holding a large mallet.
Umi: So, Mokona.... You thought you could get away from me
by hiding in Hades, did you?
Mokona: Pu! O_O
Mokona comes to a screeching halt as Usagi and Umi come charging in
from both directions....
END OF PART 21
--------------------------------------------------------------------
^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Will Mokona be served up as pancakes? Will Mamoru escape the tender
ministrations of Rei and Chibiusa? How will Michiru punish Haruka?
Is Minako behind any of this? Shall Ami and Makoto discover the
truth behind their odyssey? For the answers to these questions
(just possibly) read the next dropping.... I mean installment of
"Waiting for Minako". This is NOT a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a
drill.... This is pseudoreality.... in the off season.
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@internode.on.net
/\ It's not the World Wide Web that scares me,
\/ \/ it's the Spider that built it.
\___________/
/_/ \_\ PU
SNERG 1.1 - Saturday, 18th May 2002
