Though this chapter has a rather celebratory (and inebriated)
attitude, the mention of Atilla the Hen does leave me feeling a
little sad.... I've left her parts in this chapter untouched.
Which would probably leave her as embarassed as hell, but all the
same....

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Waiting for Minako
by DDFA (Mark A Page)

Part Twentytwo - The Holidays

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Scene: The set of "Waiting for Minako". Everything is silent, as
everyone has gone home for the holidays. A cleaner is sweeping dust
from the floor, whistling to himself. He finds a mallet, hiding
behind one of the stacked tables of the restaurant.


Cleaner: I wonder if Mokona got what was coming to him.


He studies the mallet, picking little bits from the head.


Cleaner: Nup. No marshmallow here. Can't have happened, yet.


Suddenly, a large, semi-naked figure comes bounding onto the set,
staring around himself with manic distrust at his surroundings. He
spots the surprised cleaner and levels a finger.


Rabies: So, there you are, you kin of those who raped and
murdered my grandmother.

Cleaner: Pardon?

Rabies: Be silent, you freak from the other side of the globe.
Bow down to my great intelligence and wit.


He crosses his arms and gives the cleaner the manic stare of doom.
The cleaner sighs and waves him away.


Cleaner: If you're looking for DDFA, you're too late. He's on
holidays.

Rabies: So, you deny that you are that spawn of convicts, do
you? It would be fitting for one of such lowly
intellect to end up cleaning the sets of his own series.

Cleaner: You're mental, aren't you?

Rabies: Be silent, pond scum! If I wish to converse with you, I
shall let you know. Otherwise, the only sound I wish to
hear emerge from your throat is the choking scream as I
throttle you.


Rabies brushes the cleaner aside and stomps off into the dark depths
of the Id. The cleaner sighs and shakes his head.


Cleaner: Fanfic writers. I shall never understand them.


Meanwhile, in a small hovel in Adelaide, Australia, DDFA is sitting
at his computer. It is 1.12am on December 31st, and he is starting
the new year early by consuming an entire bottle of sake in one
gulp. His writing strats to bcemoe slihglty dogdy.


DDFA: *Heehee* Banzai! Banzai! Banzai! *Uuuuurp*


He slumps down in his seat, giggling inanely, staring at his nice
new red shirt, a Xmas gift from his mother, commonly referred to
as Attilla the Hen, or Warthog to others.... as her growing
collection of plushie pigs shall attest to.... He giggles again and
downs yet another bottle of sake.


DDFA: BWAHAHAHAHAHA.... *hic* Izz goood. Wanna more. Wanna
more. Where be da dwink. Hee hee. Nine down,
ninetyone to go. *hic* Glad I bought da special Sailor
V Partytime Sake. Ain't dat right, Minako-chan.


On the other side of the room, sitting in a large armchair, Minako
is giggling even more inanely than DDFA.


Minako: Yeah, ish kinda shtrange what productsh they'd market in
my name. Teeheehee....

DDFA: Like that really shucky healthsh drink.

Minako: *Snort* Thatsh tashted like shitsh. I keptsh pushing
it on the othersh.... They're sho shtupid. They'd
drinksh anything. BWAHAHAHAHA!

DDFA: Well you hafta hidesh your manic depresshion shomehow.

Minako: I am notsh manic depresshive.... I'm jusht a naughty
girlsh.


DDFA pauses.


DDFA: Hey, you wanna turn dish fic into a shelf-inshert lemon?

Minako: You know wheresh to inshert yourshelf! Now gimme
another bottlesh of dat shake.... *Snort* Heeheehee.


Meanwhile, at the Hikawa Shrine, Rei is plastered on the ceremonial
sake and is watching the soccer on tv. Watched on by a worried
Yuuichirou.


Rei: Come on da REDS!

Yuuichirou: Ano.... Rei-chan... Don't you think you've drunk
enough?

Rei: Shuddup, you! Now get over here and give me a bit of
that big, hunky body of yours. Or better still, turn
into Mamoru and then give me a bit of that big, hunky
body of yours....

Yuuichirou: Rei-chan!


The door to the room opens, and Lina Inverse stares in.


Lina: Has anyone in here seen that bloody Inverse Layer the
bloody writer was going on about a few chapters ago?


Rei stares at her, then giggles.


Rei: Well, considering you have a voice like Usagi's, I'll
lay you if you like. That should keep some people
happy. *snort*

Yuuichirou: I really think you've had enough to drink, Rei-chan.


Lina stares at Rei and Yuuichirou for a couple of seconds.


Lina: All things considered, what's in it for me?

Rei: All this food.


Rei gestures to the other side of the room, where a veritable
feast is sitting. Sans black jellybeans, which the shrine has run
out of. Lina pauses for several moments. She then takes her cape
off.


Lina: Well, I'm game if you are.


As Yuuichirou's jaw hits the floor, Lina slides the door shut behind
her.

Meanwhile (you aren't getting a lemon scene out of me that easily
^_^) back in DDFA's little hovel, Minako has fallen on the floor,
pissed as a rat, and is asleep, mumbling to herself.


Minako: No.... Asai-kun.... Please.... Not at school....
Someone might see us. *Mumble mumble Turtle Scrubs
grumble grumble.*


DDFA watches her and shrugs, then turns back to his computer.


DDFA: I wonder if anyone has actually worked the plot of this
fic out, yet. I wonder if I've ever worked out the plot
of any fic I've written, yet? Perhaps I should actually
finish the scene I ended the last chapter with. Yeah,
that'll catch everyone off guard. BWAHAHAHAHA!


DDFA starts to type, a little slower than normal, considering his
inebriated state, and starts giggling like an insane fool.

On the set of "Waiting for Minako", the cleaner curses.


Cleaner: Damn that bastard. Now I'm going to have to rouse all
the wankers from their holidays.


The cleaner wanders off, mumbling darkly to himself.

Meanwhile, in Hades, Usagi is in hot pursuit of the Almighty Bunny-
Thing of Doom.


Usagi: MATTE!

Mokona: Pu! ^_^


As Mokona approaches a street corner, Ryuzaki Umi appears, also
holding a large mallet.


Umi: So, Mokona.... You thought you could get away from me
by hiding in Hades, did you?

Mokona: Pu! O_O


Mokona comes to a screeching halt as Usagi and Umi come charging in
from both directions. Just then, Mokona sprouts angel wings and
takes off.


Mokona: Pu pu pu pu pu! ^_^


Usagi and Umi watch him rise with surprise, still charging at each
other at full speed. Without realising what they are doing, they
bring their mallets down on top of each others' heads, and fall to
the ground, dazed.


Usagi: Not tonight, Rei-chan. I've got a headache....

Umi: You know, Hikaru.... If you turn into a catgirl just
once more....


Mokona flutters down and lands atop the two girls, his wings
disappearing.


Mokona: Pu! ^_^


Suddenly, a large screen descends from the top of one of Hades'
tallest buildings, showing highlights from the NukuNuku tv series.
In seconds, Hades has been completely abandoned. Except for Mokona,
who is pupuing as he watches the edits, sitting back on the two
dazed girls.

Meanwhile, in the hospital.


Makoto: Is it our turn, yet?

DDFA: Not yet. Your turn is next chapter.

Ami: What, you mean we left the orgy for NOTHING?


END OF PART 22


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Is DDFA really plastered? Has this affected this fic, whatsoever?
Does this mean SIU 35 shall be late? Does anyone really care? Does
DDFA know how to use a spellchecker in this state? Or is this all
the product of the DT's? For almost no answers to these questions,
see in the next exciting chapter of "Waiting for Minako".... The
Hangover. Urk! :(

_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@internode.on.net
/\
\/ \/
\___________/
/_/ \_\ PU

Sake 1.1 - Saturday, 18th May 2002