*WARNING* THE FOLLOWING EPISODE OF CARTOON ENFORCEMENT TEAM HAS BEEN RATED R FOR HARSH LANGUAGE. DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME CARTMAN.



"Ah, there's my favorite test subject!" Washu smiled. Mike took off his helmet and sighed.

"Alright Washu get on with it. What's in it for me this time?" Mike asked he sat on a stool as Washu walked over to him and smiled cat-like.

"Hehe! We're gonna see how fit you are!" She laughed more. Mike had a sweatdrop.

"Hold on, wait a second! Hey what are you-!? Aye hye!!!!"

Larry looked around and shook his head.

"I wonder what Mike has to go through this time." The robot wondered.

"I beat you again you mofo!" Luigi laughed. Arthur threw down his cards.

"I ain't no mofo!" Luigi shrugged and continued laughing.

Mike gulped. He was stripped down to his boxers. 'How could I let her do this to me!?' He thought as Washu appeared in a nurse uniform.

"Washu listen, have you even done this before? I mean c'mon! Do you really need....samples!?" Mike asked blushing hotly. Washu giggled again.

"Of coarse I've done this before, actually I came pretty close into doing it to my first test subject Tenchi. But a woman named Mihoshi broke my machine. But, I'll be able to finally do this experiment! He, he, he!" She laughed. Mike was praying for some miracle. But it seemed hopeless as Washu made her way to the overpowered officer.

"Washu, before you...umm, do whatever you plan to do...just one question. Why the nurse uniform!?" He asked as Washu blushed.

"Like I said to Tenchi, I'm an angel of mercy Mike!" She giggled again and put on her gloves. Suddenly the alarm went off.

"Thank god!...I mean a mission!" Mike exclaimed as he struggled out of the equipment that kept him still. He grabbed his clothes and started to head out the door. He then stopped and walked over to Washu. He looked down at her. She was pouting alright.

'Why me?!" He thought to himself.

"Okay, okay. When the mission is over you can finish the experiment." Washu hugged him and smiled. Mike did not know why he just agreed to meet his doom after the mission.

'It has to be those darn green eyes!!' He thought to himself grumbling while getting dressed.

"It looks we have a situation in South Park, Colorado." Larry said. Luigi made a face.

"Oh great, the place of insanity." Arthur laughed and loaded his gun. Mike had just run in zipping up his jump suit. Washu walked in still smiling.

"Well where have you two been?" Arthur asked impatiently.

"You do not want to know." Mike replied panting. Washu giggled again. Everyone else looked at each other and shrugged.

"Anyhow, who is willing to go on this mission?" Mike asked. He looked around to see no volunteers.

"Okay we'll do it the hard way. Arthur and Washu you two come with me." Mike said as he walked to the transporter. Suddenly Washu stopped him.

"Why not go by automobile?" She asked pointing to the DeLorean. Mike blinked. It looked pretty much the same except for the CET logo on the doors and lights on the roof.

"Alright let's go." Mike said pointing to the DeLorean.



The DeLorean appeared in a flash. It sped through streets and into a pile of garbage cans.

"Nice landing captain." Arthur replied sarcastically. Mike opened the door and peeked outside. Th scenery was calm except for four kids standing on a sidewalk.

"Damn it, why the hell are we just standing here!?" Cartman yelled.

"Cause fat ass, we have nothing better to do!!" Kyle yelled back.

"I guess those are the kids we're supposed to find." Mike said to his crew. The three of them walked to the kids.

"Dude, check out the clothes. Where the hell did you get that get up?" Cartman asked. Mike sighed.

"Listen we're from the Cartoon Enforcement Team. Now is anything happening that doesn't seem to be right?" Mike asked. The kids looked at each other.

"Actually sir, there has been something that hasn't happened in a long time now." Stan said. "Our friend Kenny hasn't died."

"...What?" Mike asked. Stan nodded.

"Yeah, our friend Kenny is always dying on us but recently he's been alive." Stan said. Mike looked over at Arthur. Arthur nodded. He ran over to the DeLorean and hid behind it. He pulled out his sniper rifle and aimed it at the orange jacket wearing kid's head. He shot out the fire. Like in slow motion, Kenny spots a quarter and picks it up. The shot flies over to a stop sign, it bounces off the sign. Arthur blinked.

"What the heck, that shot was in the bag!" Arthur exclaimed. Mike walked over to Arthur.

"Next time try a different approach and Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to watch out when bullets fly off of metal objects. Do you know how close that bullet was to hitting my leg?"

"Err, no. How close?" Washu said popping out from behind the two officers.

Mike limped. "It's in my thigh." Arthur smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry!"



Arthur stuffed Kenny into a canon.

"Hold on Kenny, and don't worry. We'll find your corpse." Arthur said comforting the Kenny. He mumbled nervously. Mike and Washu were walking over some hot tea. Over a stool on the grass.

"So what do you think? That's exactly how the experiment will go." She smiled as Mike had a blank look.

"....I'll go get some more hot water!" Mike said suddenly springing up to his feet.

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!!" Mike grumbled as he made his way to the DeLorean. He had no idea that there was somehow a banana peel right in front of him.

"Yahoey!!!!!" He yelled as he slipped on the fruit. He slid all the way into the canon. Kenny fell right out. Mike was stuck face first inside the canon. Then in an enormous explosion, Mike was sent several feet into the air.

"AHHH YIYE!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed. Arthur reluctantly looke up to see his partner fall to the ground.

"I'm okay!" Mike yelled.

After several hours of trying to kill Kenny, Mike wound up in a cast.

"Well sorry buddy, I guess we can't kill you." Arthur said frustrated. He patted Kenny's back. Unfortunately Kenny was eating a hot dog. He choked on it and fell to the floor. Everyone then jumps out of the way as a blimp crashes on him and bursts into flames.

"Oh my god Arthur killed Kenny!" Stan exclaimed.

"You bastard!!" Kyle shouted.

"Yahoo! We did it! Yeow!!" A heavy piece of metal from the blimp falls on Mike as he was about to rejoice.

"Alright mission accomplished. Let's scrape up Mike and go home." Arthur said proudly.



"Oh.." Mike moaned. He opened his eyes. He didn't feel sore anymore so he was relieved for a second but his heart stopped when he saw where he was.

"W-Washu-?"

"Ah, your awake. Now where were we Mike?" Washu smiled slyly at Mike. Mike swallowed hard. He had to keep his promise to Washu. She snapped on her gloves and walked up to him.

"Heh heh, this'll only take a few..hours." She reached over to him.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luigi stood in front of Washu's door. He took off his cap.

"Poor guy."

Larry brought in a first aid kit.

"You never know with Ms. Washu."