FOOLS FOR LIFE:

CHAPTER 12: CUTTING TO THE CHASE

"Ok now try this one."

"Isn't that one the same?" Tara asked when Willow handed her the sandwich. "Just taste it!" Willow added enthusiastically.

Tara took a bite and chewed. "Ahh, this one is *crunchy* peanut butter." Willow nodded with a big smile. Tara giggled and took another bite.

They were sitting at the dinner table in the Summers house, with an array of sandwiches spread out. Some had heart shapes, some stars, some kind of unidentifiable since some wiccan symbols are really hard to carve out of bread.

They just refilled their glasses with milk when they heard the front door. "Hey guys, it's me." Buffy called out. They got up and went to meet her.

Buffy turned to them and then frowned. "I smell peanut butter. Magic books smell of peanut butter now?"

The girls looked at each other. "Ah no, we went through all the info we had on D'Hoffryn and his vengeance demons. Couldn't find anything on Halfrek. So we got hungry, and...I cooked." Willow looked at Tara and they both sort of giggled and held hands.

Buffy pulled up one eyebrow. "Uh huh, nothing evil and demonic this time?"

"What?" Tara asked.

"NO, no, just some peanut butter combos..and stuff." Willow added hastily.

"Uh huh." Buffy grinned. "So no go on the books huh?"

"Not really. There's not that much on the Vengeance Demons as individuals. Since they manage to appear in all kinds of guises and personalities and professions they're hard to peg down. Mostly stuff about D'Hoffryn, Lord of the Vengeance Demons, Master of Arash Ma'har, etc. etc. All stuff we basically knew already. Nothing on Halfrek." Willow shrugged.

"So how did it go with you?" Tara asked. "How was Anya?"

Buffy hung up her coat. "Oh pretty good. Anya is...well, still Anya, and she's still hurting and trying to cope with it all, but she helped me out with some things."

Tara nodded. "I guess the Magic Shop stopped being our meeting place with Willow's problems and Xander and Anya's break up. I try to pop by every now and then...you know. I hope she's doing okay. So, did she know anything specific?"

"Yeah, some.." Buffy said as they all walked to the living room. Buffy crashed on the couch with Willow and Anya following suit.

"Well turns out it's possible and maybe even likely that Spike and Halfrek knew each other before they got all demoned-up. Apparently, vampires and Vengeance Demons don't generally move in the same social circles and are not known to mingle. And at the same time these two happen to be pretty much from the same time period. They both got their evil on around the last two decades of the 19th century, were about the same age when they did and both of them were living in England at the time."

Willow thought for a moment. "Wow, I wonder what they were like. As humans I mean? It's so hard to imagine Spike as any different from his leather- duster-cocky-vampire self."

Buffy shrugged. "Yeah......I don't know, he could have been pretty much the same type of guy I guess."

"Well now, maybe not." Tara added. "I mean, from what you guys told me, Angel is nothing like Angelus for instance."

"Yeah," said Willow, "and erm, well...even YOU are not exactly the same now as you were before you became the Slayer. Not just lifestyle wise, but...you know."

Buffy thought about that. "If you mean to say I used to be the legally blond version of Cordelia and now I'm not, well, yeah if you put it like that.. I guess... Well, there's no way of knowing. And I'm more interested in what they're planning."

Willow and Tara exchanged a look. "Well, ehm..." Tara started. "You don't actually KNOW they're planning anything do you? I mean...."

"Yeah" Willow said in hesitating support. "All you know is that they're hanging and...well, chatting apparently. Doesn't really seem like they're plotting to blow up Sunnydale. Besides, I don't think Spike would ever hurt you. I mean, I know he tried plenty of times in the past, but Buffy, after everything we've seen....we worked with him all summer and...I don't know, just the memory of you kept him on the straight and narrow."

Tara nodded in agreement. "U-unless you think he has this spurned lover thing going. I mean like a crime of passion or something but..I don't know it doesn't....seem his style...."

They both looked at her awkwardly. Buffy looked back.

"What. You two trying to tell me something?"

They exchanged that look again. "No, it's just...I mean.." Willow tried again.

"Well ever since...the Anya thing, and you heard he's got some connection to Halfrek..." Tara tried to continue.

"You've been...."

"You've....."

"Kinda..."

"Sort of...."

Buffy looked back and forth between the two girls until she got dizzy.

"Stop it! Out with it already! You're making me queasy!"

"Well," Willow said. "sorry Buff, but we saw how you looked when you say Spike with Anya. And now that he's making time with another girl you're kinda..all obsessie about it. Aren't you just...."

Buffy leant her head forward a little. "What, jealous? Is that what you're saying?"

Willow and Tara started shaking their heads. "No! No, no, we never said that."

"Never used the 'j' word."

"Not us."

"No, no it's just...."

"Yeah, just.."

Buffy shook her head. "GUYS! Really, look I know what you're saying. And yes, I already said, it..affected me to see Spike with Anya...it..."

Tara interrupted her gently. "Okay, but...how did it affect you? I mean, did it...hurt? To see them?"

Buffy looked at her for a second. "I...I suppose it did...a little. Look it's just, hard to define. We had a thing, I know. And I guess I do have...feelings for him. But it's not love. I can't love a guy without a soul. I'm still not entirely convinced *he* can love without a soul. I mean I know he thinks he does, but..."

She looked at their expectant faces and sighed. "Look, this Halfrek thing...she's proven she can be dangerous, and maybe she's just hanging out with Spike because they used to know each other and want to catch up. And yes, maybe.....it bothers me to see that. I mean we did have a.....thing...."

"Again with the thing." Willow mumbled to Tara. Buffy shot her a look. "Sorry Buff, but it sounds like you don't really know what you felt or are feeling now or what. But you're certainly acting on those feelings, and our point is just that maybe you should figure them out first before you get all gung ho..."

Buffy sighed and fell back into the couch. "You have a point, I know that. But it's not just me being messy feelings girl here. Halfrek IS a demon and she has proven to be potentially dangerous to us and now she's all over this former enemy-turned spurned lover. I think it's prudent to at least check things out a little."

"Yeah, we can see that." Willow said.

Buffy thought for a moment. "Alright, I guess the mature thing is to find him when he's alone and just ask him if she's up to something I should know about. I guess I owe him that, to just be open and fair with him. Straightforward. Honest."

'Not hidden behind Mrs. Miggins' tombstone.' She thought to herself and rubbed her temples.

"Sure, that's probably a good idea." Tara said. "Just be careful. And, well, I told you before, it's okay if you do have feelings for Spike, Buffy. He doesn't have a soul and while we don't even really know what that means, when you think about it, that sort of makes the good things he's done stand out all the more, you know?"

Buffy looked at Tara and smiled while wishing she had half the capacity to see the truth and the good in people like her friend.

"Alright," Buffy sighed. "Next stop, Spike's crypt. For a mature and open minded Oprah-talk."

** **

Me TBC!

You R&R!