FOOLS FOR LIFE:
CHAPTER 13: FINE
Later that night when Buffy was on patrol and headed for Spike's crypt, she had mulled it all over inside her head. She had come around again and again that this was the best way. She wanted to know what was the deal here. And she felt that besides *wanting* to know, she had some justified grounds for *needing* to know.
And this was the best way. Just talk. Get it off her chest. And she'd probably find that once she confronted this, that whole uneasy feeling would probably go away. The mind can make mountains of molehills, especially when you tell it not to. Maybe that nagging little voice would shut up. That voice that told her there was wrongness in the world when Spike was looking at other women.
It had been plain that the spider chick from the wedding, what was her name, 'Tarantula' or something, had been a lame attempt and he had admitted as much. But this..there was a past between him and Halfrek. And there was tension. A tensiony past! It bugged her. She wouldn't let her mind call it the 'j' word as Willow and Tara had suggested, but..no, time to put it to rest.
She got delayed twice by raising vampires she had to stake. It didn't take her long but she got distracted a moment when she thought she heard someone else around. Behind her. She couldn't see anything, and the vamp in front of her took advantage of her distraction by jumping her.
As the last vamp was so much dust swirling in the chilly night wind Buffy ran her hand through her hair. Nothing else stirred. No one else was around. No new fledgling vamps crawling up. Alright, that should be the last of it. No more interruptions, no more putting it off.
She walked around the tombstones back to the track she was on. She could already see Spike's crypt in the distance. And she could see the door. And she could see it open and Halfrek walk out!
Quickly Buffy jumped behind a tree and watched her walk by, some 30 feet away from her. You could never tell it was a female demon walking by. She looked like a young woman who was out of place in a graveyard at night with a good manicure and fashion sense. Except her hair, Buffy noticed, was...ruffled. Like it had been down and messy and put up in a hurry. And her blouse not quite buttoned up.
Matter of fact she was buttoning as she walked.
Buffy turned away, all the way behind the tree now, and bit down on a curse. Great! Great, first he does Anya on the table, but oh no, that was a fluke, an accident. Now this? Another accident? Some undying devotion! The first time he really believes her when she says it's over he's all over the place, doing....
No! NO! She told herself. They had nothing, she had told him to move on, to forget her and stop bothering her, and he was doing it. It was fine. Just fine! Just what she wanted! Couldn't have planned it better herself. Finnne!
She stood under the tree, hissing the word 'fine' through gritted teeth for about another 30 seconds. Then she walked around and headed for Spike's crypt.
Fine, they would have a talk!
** **
Spike climbed out of the lower part of his crypt. He was certain he heard something, sounded like the door. Halfrek had left earlier, maybe she left it open. Hm, door was closed. Couldn't be Buffy, all invisible again, wanting to have sex, could it?
Nah, he should be so lucky.
He was just putting some weed in a glass of blood when he heard the door again as it swung open and Buffy actually did walk in. Hastily he put the glass down. "Buffy? To what do I owe the..."
"Shut up!" she snapped. Great, in one of those moods. He could already feel his nose hurt as she was sure to punch it at some point in the very near future.
"Uhm, alri-"
"What are you doing?" she interrupted again.
"Uhm, I was just having a glass of pig's blood, actually. Which I'm sure will gross you out as usual but..."
"Not that! And yes EW, by the way, but no I mean with your little evil demon girl friend!"
Still on that. Spike used all his willpower to suppress a smile! She just reeked of jealousy and it was as sweet as nectar! Of course a smile now would quickly kill the conversation as well as some of the features of his chiseled face.
"What do you mean?" he managed to get out smile-free.
"You know what I mean! What, I break up with you and now you have to find old girl friend demons to....what, have them put revenge spells on me? Is that what you're doing?"
"Old girlfriend?" How did she...? "Hey, wait a minute have you been digging through my past?"
Buffy faltered for a moment. So it was true. Then she got a new wave of resentment and regained the aura of righteous indignation.
"I'll.I'll ask the questions here! What, you liked what she pulled on my birthday? Are you cooking up something worse?"
"What? What are you on about? I would never hurt you! You know that!"
"Sure, like you could never look at another woman. Look how fast THAT went out the window! It's like I said, I can't trust you, you say stuff that sounds so earnest and then pfffff.."
Spike raised his eyebrows. Where did this come from? "Slayer, have you gone completely mad? I love you! I've said it a 100 times and I'll say it again, it's the one constant in my otherwise pathetic life! That with Anya was....stupid, a weak, drunk moment. Now you've told me to sod off, that it's over, and I've tried to.."
"Tried to what? You're still around! Still bugging me and my friends. And now hooking up with vengeance demons planning who knows what!"
Spike's eyes flared. "Ooh but that's it isn't it? You keep saying you don't want me but as soon as another woman comes in my view you get yer knickers all twisted! I'm not supposed to love you but I'm not allowed to even look at anyone else, is that it? I'm only supposed to follow you around like the pathetic bugger I am, so you can get your rocks off by telling me 'no'. But you really DO want me to!"
He folded his arms and looked at her firmly. "Admit it. You're jealous!"
Buffy opened her mouth, and made several sounds that were like the beginnings of major scoffings. Before she could say anything Spike added: "You are jealous because you DO want me as much as I want you!"
"I...I, what I am, is..disappointed! I at was at least starting to believe you that you MEANT all that talk of love and change and devotion! But now I see even on your side it was all crap!"
Spike's jaw clenched with anger. "It! Isn't! Crap! Stop saying that!"
"I saw her!" Buffy yelled! "I saw her here tonight, are you denying it??"
Spike was taken by surprise. "Well..no, I'm not, but that doesn't...wait, you really have been spying on me haven't you? After coming here all set on your high horse accusing me with that whole soddin' camera thing, you were spying on me!"
He approached her, fuelled on by what he was hearing. "Come on, admit it, you want me, you can't deny..."
Fast as lightning her arm flashed and she decked him, full strength, taking him completely by surprise. Her fist landed right in the middle of his face. Spike flew through the air and landed hard on the side of the tomb, his back hitting the edge.
As he rolled over after his landing on the ground and he felt the blood trickle down his nose he heard her voice, still a little unsteady with emotion but the words were cold as ice and sharp as a knife, : "Fine. Fine. You're a demon. I know it. I've always known. You're a demon without heart. My fault for not treating you like one. For believing even for a second you were anything more than an undead thing that crawls in the night. You have no soul, Spike. Fine. So be with your demonic girl, I'm sure you make a fine match, I'm sure she'll love all the evil and the bloodsucking and other....soulless, evil things that you enjoy."
"You were always on about how vampires got me hot. Well Angel didn't get me hot without his soul Spike. I would never have loved him without his soul. And I won't, can't love you. You can't be trusted, you can't be loved and you 're not capable of love yourself. Angel's soul made him a man. I don't care how many pretty speeches you make, you're still a monster."
She drew a breath. "Leave town." She snapped. "Don't come back."
He didn't move as he heard her storm out and slam the door behind her. He just closed his eyes. And clenched his fists and bit back the tears that came rushing. Tears of anger, hurt and frustration.
Harsh reality. It always comes knocking, sooner or later.. And in Buffy's case it always comes knocking far harder and crueler than he ever expects.
** **
TBC!
Okay now, I can hear you all sharpening your knives out there. But you really can't write a Buffy/Spike story set in those days without some angst. Don't worry, I'm not forgetting the funnier side of what I'm doing. Trust me (trustworthy smile( )
CHAPTER 13: FINE
Later that night when Buffy was on patrol and headed for Spike's crypt, she had mulled it all over inside her head. She had come around again and again that this was the best way. She wanted to know what was the deal here. And she felt that besides *wanting* to know, she had some justified grounds for *needing* to know.
And this was the best way. Just talk. Get it off her chest. And she'd probably find that once she confronted this, that whole uneasy feeling would probably go away. The mind can make mountains of molehills, especially when you tell it not to. Maybe that nagging little voice would shut up. That voice that told her there was wrongness in the world when Spike was looking at other women.
It had been plain that the spider chick from the wedding, what was her name, 'Tarantula' or something, had been a lame attempt and he had admitted as much. But this..there was a past between him and Halfrek. And there was tension. A tensiony past! It bugged her. She wouldn't let her mind call it the 'j' word as Willow and Tara had suggested, but..no, time to put it to rest.
She got delayed twice by raising vampires she had to stake. It didn't take her long but she got distracted a moment when she thought she heard someone else around. Behind her. She couldn't see anything, and the vamp in front of her took advantage of her distraction by jumping her.
As the last vamp was so much dust swirling in the chilly night wind Buffy ran her hand through her hair. Nothing else stirred. No one else was around. No new fledgling vamps crawling up. Alright, that should be the last of it. No more interruptions, no more putting it off.
She walked around the tombstones back to the track she was on. She could already see Spike's crypt in the distance. And she could see the door. And she could see it open and Halfrek walk out!
Quickly Buffy jumped behind a tree and watched her walk by, some 30 feet away from her. You could never tell it was a female demon walking by. She looked like a young woman who was out of place in a graveyard at night with a good manicure and fashion sense. Except her hair, Buffy noticed, was...ruffled. Like it had been down and messy and put up in a hurry. And her blouse not quite buttoned up.
Matter of fact she was buttoning as she walked.
Buffy turned away, all the way behind the tree now, and bit down on a curse. Great! Great, first he does Anya on the table, but oh no, that was a fluke, an accident. Now this? Another accident? Some undying devotion! The first time he really believes her when she says it's over he's all over the place, doing....
No! NO! She told herself. They had nothing, she had told him to move on, to forget her and stop bothering her, and he was doing it. It was fine. Just fine! Just what she wanted! Couldn't have planned it better herself. Finnne!
She stood under the tree, hissing the word 'fine' through gritted teeth for about another 30 seconds. Then she walked around and headed for Spike's crypt.
Fine, they would have a talk!
** **
Spike climbed out of the lower part of his crypt. He was certain he heard something, sounded like the door. Halfrek had left earlier, maybe she left it open. Hm, door was closed. Couldn't be Buffy, all invisible again, wanting to have sex, could it?
Nah, he should be so lucky.
He was just putting some weed in a glass of blood when he heard the door again as it swung open and Buffy actually did walk in. Hastily he put the glass down. "Buffy? To what do I owe the..."
"Shut up!" she snapped. Great, in one of those moods. He could already feel his nose hurt as she was sure to punch it at some point in the very near future.
"Uhm, alri-"
"What are you doing?" she interrupted again.
"Uhm, I was just having a glass of pig's blood, actually. Which I'm sure will gross you out as usual but..."
"Not that! And yes EW, by the way, but no I mean with your little evil demon girl friend!"
Still on that. Spike used all his willpower to suppress a smile! She just reeked of jealousy and it was as sweet as nectar! Of course a smile now would quickly kill the conversation as well as some of the features of his chiseled face.
"What do you mean?" he managed to get out smile-free.
"You know what I mean! What, I break up with you and now you have to find old girl friend demons to....what, have them put revenge spells on me? Is that what you're doing?"
"Old girlfriend?" How did she...? "Hey, wait a minute have you been digging through my past?"
Buffy faltered for a moment. So it was true. Then she got a new wave of resentment and regained the aura of righteous indignation.
"I'll.I'll ask the questions here! What, you liked what she pulled on my birthday? Are you cooking up something worse?"
"What? What are you on about? I would never hurt you! You know that!"
"Sure, like you could never look at another woman. Look how fast THAT went out the window! It's like I said, I can't trust you, you say stuff that sounds so earnest and then pfffff.."
Spike raised his eyebrows. Where did this come from? "Slayer, have you gone completely mad? I love you! I've said it a 100 times and I'll say it again, it's the one constant in my otherwise pathetic life! That with Anya was....stupid, a weak, drunk moment. Now you've told me to sod off, that it's over, and I've tried to.."
"Tried to what? You're still around! Still bugging me and my friends. And now hooking up with vengeance demons planning who knows what!"
Spike's eyes flared. "Ooh but that's it isn't it? You keep saying you don't want me but as soon as another woman comes in my view you get yer knickers all twisted! I'm not supposed to love you but I'm not allowed to even look at anyone else, is that it? I'm only supposed to follow you around like the pathetic bugger I am, so you can get your rocks off by telling me 'no'. But you really DO want me to!"
He folded his arms and looked at her firmly. "Admit it. You're jealous!"
Buffy opened her mouth, and made several sounds that were like the beginnings of major scoffings. Before she could say anything Spike added: "You are jealous because you DO want me as much as I want you!"
"I...I, what I am, is..disappointed! I at was at least starting to believe you that you MEANT all that talk of love and change and devotion! But now I see even on your side it was all crap!"
Spike's jaw clenched with anger. "It! Isn't! Crap! Stop saying that!"
"I saw her!" Buffy yelled! "I saw her here tonight, are you denying it??"
Spike was taken by surprise. "Well..no, I'm not, but that doesn't...wait, you really have been spying on me haven't you? After coming here all set on your high horse accusing me with that whole soddin' camera thing, you were spying on me!"
He approached her, fuelled on by what he was hearing. "Come on, admit it, you want me, you can't deny..."
Fast as lightning her arm flashed and she decked him, full strength, taking him completely by surprise. Her fist landed right in the middle of his face. Spike flew through the air and landed hard on the side of the tomb, his back hitting the edge.
As he rolled over after his landing on the ground and he felt the blood trickle down his nose he heard her voice, still a little unsteady with emotion but the words were cold as ice and sharp as a knife, : "Fine. Fine. You're a demon. I know it. I've always known. You're a demon without heart. My fault for not treating you like one. For believing even for a second you were anything more than an undead thing that crawls in the night. You have no soul, Spike. Fine. So be with your demonic girl, I'm sure you make a fine match, I'm sure she'll love all the evil and the bloodsucking and other....soulless, evil things that you enjoy."
"You were always on about how vampires got me hot. Well Angel didn't get me hot without his soul Spike. I would never have loved him without his soul. And I won't, can't love you. You can't be trusted, you can't be loved and you 're not capable of love yourself. Angel's soul made him a man. I don't care how many pretty speeches you make, you're still a monster."
She drew a breath. "Leave town." She snapped. "Don't come back."
He didn't move as he heard her storm out and slam the door behind her. He just closed his eyes. And clenched his fists and bit back the tears that came rushing. Tears of anger, hurt and frustration.
Harsh reality. It always comes knocking, sooner or later.. And in Buffy's case it always comes knocking far harder and crueler than he ever expects.
** **
TBC!
Okay now, I can hear you all sharpening your knives out there. But you really can't write a Buffy/Spike story set in those days without some angst. Don't worry, I'm not forgetting the funnier side of what I'm doing. Trust me (trustworthy smile( )
