FOOLS FOR LIFE:

CHAPTER 14: WISH I MAY, WISH I MIGHT..

"Helloooo." it echoed through Spike's crypt. "Are you in pal?" Clem's voice sounded uncertain. "You never showed up at the poker game last night. And I heard the Slayer was around here yesterday. You okay pal?"

He was just about to leave when he heard a sound.

He opened the door wider and came in. "Spike? Is that you?"

"Urgllsmfghlll" it came from below.

'Oh boy' Clem thought to himself. 'Sounds like he went out fighting again. Hope it isn't as bad as last time.' He went to the entrance to Spike's cave and climbed down the stairs. As he stepped off the ladder, his foot hit a bottle.

"Spike?" he asked as he turned around. The bedroom was a mess. There were more than a few empty whisky bottles on the floor and the bed. Some of the furniture was trashed and the sheets were all over the place. But no Spike to be seen yet.

"Spike are you here?" Wait, wasn't that..a foot hanging on the edge of the bed?

"Henn, zzuure, where else izza munster s'pposed t'be? *hic*"

It came from behind the bed on the floor. Clem walked around and saw Spike laying on the floor, his shirt open and torn with another two empty bottles next to him. His one leg was up with his foot dangling on the edge of the bed and he was holding a half-empty bottle in his one hand. His other arm was draped over his own head, the fingers dangling by his ear.

"Oh boy." Clem muttered. No need to ask if the Slayer had been here.

"C'z munsterz are s'pposed t'live in dark holez. Thaz where they doo ther crawlin'..."

He looked up and squinted. Then he smiled. "Heeey, izz Clem!"

"Yeah buddy, it's me, let's get you up now." He bent down to try and pick him up, which wasn't easy. He tried to put his free arm over his neck and as he did Spike started to hug him in a half successful, drunken way.

"I luvya buddy, ya no dat, right!?"

"Ngf! Sure pal sure, come on now, upsee daisee." He managed to hoist Spike up in a sitting position on the bed.

"An'..an' I luv HER....bud...budd she sez I'ma munster.." he started to look extremely sad. Clem tried to take the bottle from his hand but before he could, Spike brought it up to his face and took another gulp.

"No, no, come on now, I think you've had enough. Why don't you give that to Clem."

Spike looked up at him and looked like a sad little boy. "M'm a munzter.." then he looked angry. "Bud not Aaanjuull...*hic*..nnoo, peeeches is jus' bluddy fine...he'z got soul..pffffffffff " He pulled a ridiculing grin. "she shoold see him dance..."

Clem sighed and took the bottle. "Let me guess, you had another one of your little talks?" He shook his head. "I've said it before pal, not the greatest choice in the world. I mean she's a nice girl, and...well, especially friendly to some demons considering she's the Slayer, which really is pretty decent of her I think, but.ahem, as girlfriend material? A liiittle on the neurotic side."

Spike snickered without much humor. "Preddy conziztent with me tho'...*hic* Alwayz endz with rippin' me ta shredz."

"Yeah well, not consistent in a good way and that's what I mean. She's kinda..well, I don't mean to put her down but...let's say she's not LOW maintenance."

At that Spike began to laugh. Loudly. It made him roll over on the bed, where the laughs turned to drunken sobs.

"Ookay." Clem said as he patted him on the shoulder. "Time to put on the coffee..."

He shook his head and turned to walk to the ladder. Before he reached it though he gave a little 'yelp' as he suddenly stared into Halfrek's face.

"Well, hello to you too, Clemmet." She said, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Ah! Man, I mean, I'm sorry, you startled me. I didn't know you were there." Clem took a breath as he gripped his chest.

"Sorry about that, when you can teleport you rarely use doors anymore." She looked past Clem to the bed where she saw Spike. "Oh my...."

"Oh, yeah, " Clem said. "He's....in a bit of a state. Ahem, he rarely does that...anymore...really, it's just.....I was just going to get coffee."

"Looks like a good idea." Halfrek said as she walked over to the bed. "Extra strong I'd say." She looked at Clem and smiled. "Maybe you should get some from that place down main street. I think he's out of coffee."

Clem nodded uncertainly. "Uh yeah, okay sure, be right back." He turned and went up the stairs. He hoped this wasn't going to turn Halfrek off of Spike. They seemed to hit it off and it was probably a far better shot with her than with the Slayer. It would be nice if his friend had a girl that wasn't either beating him up or making him go nuts with the mind games. He'd hoped Spike would turn his attention to Halfrek. Nothing bad about Buffy, but she was killing him!

As she heard Clem close the door behind him upstairs, Halfrek sat down on the bed. Spike's eyes were closed and she ran her fingers through his hair. My, how he had changed.

"Spike? Can you hear me?"

Spike's eyes opened slightly. "Wuh? Yeh, c'n hear you...."

"Oh dear, what happened now?"

"Huh.." Spike mumbled. "Bffy..."

Halfrek's eyes narrowed a little as he said the name. "Yes. Of course. What else could it be. What'd she do this time?"

"Mmm....munzter...she sez I'm a munzzter. Evil ded thing...." he sighed and his head turned towards her.

"Well that sounds like her. But does it....does it really matter so much what she says?" she said as she caressed his cheek. "I mean she's the Slayer, she's bound to hate you. Hate us. Demons. I mean...it's to be expected. She's...she's not the only woman in the world you know...."

Her mouth pulled tight as she whispered: "You used to know..."

Spike frowned and gave another hiccup. "Why....why won't she luv me??" he mumbled kind of oblivious.

Halfrek stiffened and pulled her hand from his face. She looked to the side for a moment and swallowed. Her hands tensed up and she stared down at them.

"Fine....that's...fine then." She whispered to herself. She turned back to Spike.

"So she was mean to you was she?" she said with a glint in her eyes.

Spike snickered again. Again without much humor. "Whadels iz new."

"Yes, she's always mean to you isn't she? Don't you hate that?" She sounded anxious now. "She's always hurting you, always causing you pain." Spike lay there, his eyes half closed, sort of nodding. "She hurds me.." he mumbled.

"Don't you wish SHE would be in pain sometimes?" Halfrek went on.

"Wish....I wish she'd see... shec'n luv me."

Halfrek tensed up again. "No! No, don't say that. That's not....she's always hurting you, hitting you, using you when it suits her..always calling you monster, doesn't that make you wish you could make her pay? Make HER feel pain?"

"I wish..." Spike interrupted, his eyes closed again.. "I wish I c'd make her..."

"Yes? Yes?" Halfrek said, feeling her power swell, ready to be released into the ether, ready to make the wish come true.

"I wish..I cud make her feel....what's like to be me....."

"Done!" Halfrek hissed with her eyes closed as she felt her power flow and make the change. Then they opened widely.

"WHAT did you say??" she said frantically. What kind of wish was that? What would THAT do?

But Spike was already snoring loudly.

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TBC! (Ain't I a stinker?)