Title: Waiting For Minako Part 29
Author: Sounds rather important, doesn't it?
Email: ayanami@internode.on.net
ICQ: 9845111
IRC: Mappy on DALnet's #AJAS
Fic Rating: My dooooog has fleeeaaas....


Waiting for Minako
by Aino Minako (In DDFA's absence)

Part Twentynine - The Solution

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Scene: The hideout of the Outers. The four are dressed in black
suits with silly fake beards and mustaches on their faces, playing
cards. In the background, DDFA can be seen, tied up and gagged in a
wooden chair. Haruka get angry and throws down her cards, standing
up and pointing an accusing finger at Setsuna.


Haruka: How the hell can we play Poker with you? You always
know the result of the game before we start.


Setsuna chuckles.


Setsuna: Honestly, Haruka.... You're just a sore loser.

Haruka: Am not. I've had a winning hand EVERY game. But you
just hold out until my nerve goes, knowing this in
advance. NOBODY has a better poker face than you.


Setsuna drops her cards on the table and leans back in her seat,
waving at Haruka dismissively.


Setsuna: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'll retire from
the game.

Haruka: NO! I can't play this game thinking I forced you out of
it.

Michiru: You didn't, Haruka dear. She KNEW she was going to give
up about now. That's why she gave up.


Haruka looks at Michiru.


Haruka: You'll explain that, of course.

Michiru: Look, it's very simple. She knew, in advance, that you
would complain at this point, and therefore chose to
give up when she did. Is it clear, now?

Haruka: You mean she's just been leading us on all this time?

Setsuna: Oh, honestly Haruka. How many times have I told you?
All time is relative.

Haruka: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Setsuna: Don't know, but it sure sounds profound, doesn't it?

Haruka: Why you....


Hotaru, at this point, sighs and lifts up her Silence Glaive, poking
the end of the blade into Haruka's face.


Hotaru: Siddown.


Haruka looks at the blade, nervously.


Haruka: What a big weapon you have.

Hotaru: All the better to fillet you with.

Michiru: Now now now, Hotaru dear.... You know what they say
about people with a big weapon complex.


The blade shifts from Haruka to Michiru.


Hotaru: What do they say?

Michiru: That.... they're really.... cool people....


Hotaru nods with satisfaction and lifts the blade up to Michiru's
hair, gently parting her fringe.


Hotaru: Yes, I'm sure they do. After all, all the best
character shrines out there are dedicated to me.


Hotaru begins to giggle insanely, then out loud, falling backwards
as her chair hits the ground. She continues to laugh, swinging the
glaive around with mirth.


Haruka: I don't think that new doctor is doing her much good,
Setsuna.


Setsuna smiles.


Setsuna: He does me a lot of good, though.


Haruka and Michiru stare at Setsuna as she turns aside, whistling
innocently. Just then, the door to the room opens. Everyone stands
in shock as Minako enters the room, gun in hand.


Michiru: YOU!

Minako: Yes, it is I....

Haruka: YOU!

Minako: Aino Minako....

Setsuna: YOU!

Minako: Private Investigator.

Hotaru: WHO?


Minako facefaults.


Minako: I've already told you.

Hotaru: Well I missed it, what with everyone here shouting
"YOU".

Minako: Well, I'm Aino Minako....

Hotaru: Hold on.


Hotaru puts her hand in her coat and takes out a pen and a pad.


Hotaru: Now, start again.

Minako: I'm Aino Minako....


Hotaru starts scribbling.


Hotaru: Yes, go on.

Minako: ....Private Investigator.


Hotaru continues scribbling.


Hotaru: Right right.... Now, let me read that back. You're
"Aino Minako, Private Investigator".

Minako: That's right.

Hotaru: Right. Okay. Sorry, I just had to make sure. You
know, in this day and age, you can never be certain
about these things.


Minako lowers her gun and starts waving her other hand about as she
gets into the conversation.


Minako: Oh, I know. I keep having to note things down in my
journal, otherwise I'd just forget everything.


From the Journal of Aino Minako, Private Investigator.

"I keep having to note things down in here, otherwise I'd just
forget everything. Like, the situation I was in. Here I was,
standing in a room with the four most dangerous women on the face of
the planet, and I was nattering on about all of my failings like it
didn't matter."


Hotaru: Ah, I see. Well, I guess we better get on with the
confrontational stuff, then.

Minako: Uhuh.

Hotaru: Okay. Haruka, you're turn.


Haruka sniffs.


Haruka: Oh, so you're giving me the opportunity to talk now, are
you?

Hotaru: Yes.

Michiru: Not that you've never had something to say.


Haruka glares at Michiru, who huffs and looks away, crossing her
arms. Haruka sighs, then points at Minako, accusingly.


Haruka: How did you find us?

Minako: HAH! Do you think I'll give away my secrets that
easily?

Haruka: Yes.

Minako: Oh. Alright then. I skipped ahead a couple of scenes
to the chapter where I discover your hideout, then took
a shortcut.

Setsuna: I thought as much.

Haruka: You CHEATED! You can't do that!

Minako: BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! I'm in charge of this story, so
I can do anything I like.

Setsuna: I thought as much.


Haruka turns on Setsuna.


Haruka: Will you shutup!


Setsuna crosses her arms and nods.


Setsuna: Yes, I thought you'd get angry.

Haruka: Why you....

Michiru: Haruka! Don't forget our guest.


Haruka turns back.


Haruka: Oh yes, sorry. Now, do you think we'll allow you to get
away with this fragrant violation of fanfic rules.

Michiru: That's 'flagrant', Haruka.

Haruka: Look, stop interrupting me during my speeches.

Michiru: Hmph!

Haruka: Now where was I? Oh right. That's a FLAGRANT violation
of fanfic rules.

Minako: Never stopped me before.

Michiru: She's got a point, there.


Haruka puts her face in her hands and sobs. Michiru takes her by
the arm.


Michiru: There there.... It's not nearly as bad as you think.

Haruka: Why? How bad could it get?

Michiru: She could start her 'Ultraman' poses.

Haruka: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!


Minako laughs maniacally.


Minako: So, now you appreciate the depth of the situation, do
you?

Hotaru: Why? Are we going swimming?


Minako facefaults.


Hotaru: Waitaminute.... I'll get my swimsuit.

Setsuna: Hotaru! We are not going swimming.

Hotaru: Why not?

Setsuna: It is destiny.


Hotaru scratches her head.


Hotaru: Crap. I wanna go swimming.

Minako: Listen.... You can all put your hands up.

Hotaru: But I'm not drowning.

Minako: Would you stop with the swimming routine.

Hotaru: But I want to go swimming.


Minako growls.


Minako: Put up your hands, all of you! You cannot escape.

Haruka: That's what you think.

Minako: Think? THINK? I'd be careful what you say about me.
I'm the one with the gun.

Haruka: And such a nice one, too.

Minako: Yes. I bought this one in a nice little shop in
Chicago, run by a couple of girls.... Look, that's not
important!

Michiru: What is important, then?

Hotaru: Swimming.

Minako: That is NOT important!

Hotaru: It is to me!


Minako growls and waves her gun around.


Minako: ARGH! Look! You kidnapped DDFA to get this fanfic
stopped by chapter 30, right? RIGHT?


The four Outers shuffle their feet and mutter agreement.


Minako: Well, I cannot guarantee that there shall be any kind
of conclusion by chapter 30. Not with everything that
has been built up over the last couple of chapters. But
there is one thing I can guarantee that will change....
With the temporary control I have over this fanfic.

Outers: What?


END OF PART 29


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^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

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What will Minako do to this fanfic before she releases DDFA? Shall
Hotaru ever go swimming? Does Setsuna really know everything that
is going on? Does any of this really matter? For almost no
questions to these answers (^_^) read the next exciting, enthralling
and nauseating chapter of............... "The Fanfic Formerly Known
As...." In that order, even. ^_^

_________
/ @ \ Aino Minako (in DDFA's absence)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@internode.on.net
/\ Manic-Depressive Sailorsenshi without a clue
\/ \/ Professional failure in quotations
\___________/ Massive avoider of responsibility
/_/ \_\ PU!


TROGGLE 1.0 - Sunday, 7th February 1999